


A Heart and a Half

by VengeVerse



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Health Issues, Past Abuse, Realm of Darkness (Kingdom Hearts), Redemption, Romance, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2019-09-19 13:13:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 99,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17002329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VengeVerse/pseuds/VengeVerse
Summary: He kept her from going crazy. She made him more sane. Trapped within the Realm of Darkness, Master Aqua finds a certain Keyblade-wielding abomination to be an unlikely ally. Surviving the Dark World is hard enough, but their greatest enemy just might be themselves.Based on Birth by Sleep and A Fragmentary PassageChapters 1-7 Written Pre-Kingdom Hearts III and Pre-BBS Novel





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoy this fanfiction or just VanQua (Vanitas/Aqua) in general, please check out “Cast a Shadow” and “Stroke of Midnight” by Taliax, “The Path to Heaven” by fairyfires, “The Birdcage” and “Secret Place” by Tory (Ejes), and the fanworks of Alacquiene, AmyHayaNora, bluenightarts, and annria2002. This story wouldn’t exist without you guys. Thanks for reading!
> 
> Content Warnings: This story contains graphic violence, blood/gore, discussions of past physical/emotional abuse and neglect, brief and supernatural self-harm, various mental health issues, mild sexually suggestive content, and strong language.
> 
> Please visit voidgear-and-stormfall.tumblr.com for more Vanitas/Aqua content!  
> And don't forget to check out vengeverse.tumblr.com for my art, including lots of Vanqua stuff!

The blue-haired Keyblade Master trudged along the twisted road through the dark forest, dragging her heels through the dirt. Her way was illuminated only by patches of bioluminescent wildflowers and the occasional lantern hanging from the intricate fencing on either side of the path. The air was still; neither clouds nor stars adorned the permanent night sky. Despite the forest, there were no sounds of nature, neither bugs nor birds nor beasts. How plant life was able to survive in a World without sunlight, she would never know.

The Realm of Darkness was no place for beings of Light.

Aqua was exhausted. She took another gulp of water from the Potion bottle she was using as a canteen. She had filled it from a stream in what resembled some twisted mockery of the Dwarf Woodlands. In this Dark World, she was beyond hungry. Her stomach had stopped rumbling ages ago, replaced by a cold, empty pit.

The last thing Aqua had eaten were some foul-tasting apples she had foraged from the Woodlands. She had managed to choke down several before realizing they were poisoned. Thankfully an Esuna spell had stifled the toxins. At least the fruit had filled her stomach for a little while, though it was impossible to truly tell how long ago that had been. It felt like it had been ages, and yet also like no time had passed at all.

_There’s no ‘time’ in the Realm of Darkness. I walk on and on without end. In the Realm of Light, do days or years pass with each step?_

Days… weeks… months… years… None of that mattered anymore. All she could do was move forward. Aqua struggled to keep her footing as the path took a steep incline. Something peaked over the top of the hill, shining in the gloom.

“Could it be?!” she gasped. Aqua ran further up the path, reaching the summit and beholding the breathtaking sight before her. A brilliant castle of white turrets illuminated the surrounding darkness. Resting at its feet was a village full of light. Somehow in this Dark World, the Castle of Dreams stood proudly.

“Why is Cinderella’s World… here in the Darkness?” Aqua asked out loud. She’d been talking to herself a lot, lately. She rushed down the path to come to a clearing. As soon as she reached the center, she could tell something was wrong.

The shadows of the surrounding trees stretched and grew, pressing in from all sides and surrounding her. From these shadows leapt a swarm of small creatures with pitch-black bodies, twitching antennae, and beady yellow eyes aglow with an inner fire. Dwellers of Darkness. All manner of foul beasts such as these had attacked her since she had first entered the Dark World.

Aqua summoned her Keyblade— not Stormfall, the Keyblade she had manifested as the true reflection of her heart, but Master Keeper, the Keyblade passed down through generations of Keyblade Masters. Master Eraqus’s Keyblade, before his untimely death at the hands of—

She couldn’t think about that right now.

One of the monsters charged Aqua, and she sliced through it with a single stroke; its two halves fell twitching and dissolved into a puddle of black goo. Another leaped at her, cutting her cheek with its claws. She pushed it off, stabbing it through the gut and it gave a warbling squeal. Whirling around, she delivered a kick to one that was sneaking up behind her, the pointed metal tip of her boot easily penetrating the beast’s skull. These creatures seemed more Darkness than flesh. 

Aqua attempted to call back Master Keeper with a mental command, but the Keyblade remained imbedded in the dying monster. Instead, she put her magic skills to work, destroying several more with an icy blast of Blizzara. She retrieved her Keyblade from the slowly melting corpse of the creature. For whatever reason, Master Keeper was often times reluctant to heed her call. She couldn’t stand the thought that her Master’s Keyblade was rejecting her. 

She finished off the rest of the Dark creatures and dismissed Master Keeper. Their bodies liquified and evaporated into black smoke, leaving no trace of their existence behind. If not for the cut on her cheek, it would be as if they were never there. Aqua gingerly inspected the scratch. It was shallow, but she cast Cure anyway to prevent possible scarring or infection. She was breathing surprisingly heavily after the encounter. Normally such monsters would be an easy fight, but she was exhausted.

Aqua trudged on towards the Castle of Dreams, past towering rock formations of crystallized stone shaped like grasping claws, mineralized talons reaching towards the empty dark sky. The blue crystal pulsed with some unholy internal light. She came to a fork in the road. One path led directly to Castle Town, the other turned deeper into the forest. If she remembered correctly, that was the direction of the Tremaines’ Château. In fact, she could now see the house’s single tall tower poking out above the trees. 

Was Cinderella here in the Dark World? Aqua hoped the Princess of Heart hadn’t been swallowed by the Darkness, too. Even if she could meet her friend, Aqua didn’t want their reunion to be here, in this Dark place. Still, she had to make sure Cinderella wasn’t around. If the Princess was here, she would likely be at the Castle. However, the Tremaines’ Château was closer to Aqua’s current location. It would be best to look there first, just in case.

Aqua turned down the path towards the Château. It was harder to see down this road with the Castle’s shining light hidden by the thick forest. Chiropteran creatures flitted through the trees, occasionally swooping down at her, but she drove them off with her Keyblade and simple fire magic. 

Aqua quickly arrived at her destination. She hadn’t given the Château more than a cursory glance on her last visit, so intent was she on stopping the Tremaines from harming Cinderella. The house stood in the empty clearing, covered in vines and white paint peeling to reveal grey stonework underneath. Heavy curtains were drawn across the windows. A conspicuous stone tower stuck out high over the red roof, where Cinderella had been kept as a prisoner in her own home.

_I haven’t felt my heart stir in a long time. Something about this place…_

It was here Aqua had met Cinderella, the girl with such a pure heart of Light. She had also met the Tremaines, people who had let their hearts be corrupted by Darkness. And of course Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother, who had warned against fighting Darkness with Light. Aqua still wondered why the old fairy had given her such a message.

Despite being home to a Princess of Heart, the Château had felt heavy and oppressive with Darkness. Now, in the Dark World, the house was Darker than ever. The hairs on the back of her neck stood up as Aqua suddenly felt like she was being watched. Was the movement she saw in one of the windows real or imagined? She tightened her grip on her Keyblade. 

“It looks like worse things are stirring…”

Aqua entered the house cautiously, the door creaking softly on its hinges. “Hello?” she whispered into the gloom. There was no response. Aqua glanced around the foyer. The walls were papered in blue with gold trim. Elegant white columns bolstered the ceiling and a fat red couch sat on polished tile next to the varnished staircase. Silver vases, candles, and mirrors were all obvious signs of wealth. It was a perfect, well-kept house. Of course, Aqua knew it was only so spotless because Cinderella had been worked to the bone. 

A sharp pang of hunger suddenly gripped her. She looked wistfully towards the kitchen. It would be wrong to steal, but she was so hungry… She wouldn’t take much. Aqua peered into the kitchen. It was less fancy than the rest of the house, all hard stone and brick. Near the door was a wooden board upon which hung three little golden bells. Aqua eagerly opened the cupboards and cabinets, but to her vast disappointment nary a crumb was left. Had some Dark creature already raided the kitchen? Did monsters need to eat? 

She felt uneasy. Maybe there really was another person in the house. Reentering the foyer, Aqua spotted a table upon which sat a rose in a glass case. She recalled vague memories of a fairytale from her childhood, about a valiant young woman, a cursed prince, and an enchanted castle. Hadn’t a rose been important to the story?

Aqua took the staircase to the second floor. The upstairs were just as vacant and silent as the foyer. She opened the first door on her left. There was no one in there, either, just bookshelves and a wardrobe, with white boxes full of fancy clothing littering the floor. The second and third rooms were much the same, just empty bedrooms. Aqua reached the fourth door. Behind it was an ominous bedroom with a green carpet and lilac furniture complete with the biggest bed she had ever seen. There was no occupant. The whole house was uninhabited.

A thud broke the silence. Aqua startled. It had come from higher up, in the tower. Aqua ran up the spiral staircase, the blue wallpaper giving way to bare stone. She burst through the wooden door at the top into a small round room. A quick glance around told her it was empty, but the window was open. Aqua peered out onto the lawn below. Something scampered across the garden, a dark animal form which sunk into the ground and vanished into the trees. Aqua felt a mixture of relief and disappointment. So it was just another monster after all…

Her unease gone, she took a closer look around the room. This was Cinderella’s bedroom, she realized, with the closet the Tremaines had locked her in next to the window. A tiny pink bed was squeezed into the corner next to the bedside table. A wooden chair sat next to a small vanity upon which rested a broken mirror. Aqua hadn’t seen her own reflection in a long time. She was thin, her skin pale from a lack of sunlight, her blue hair scraggly and matted. There were dark bags under her eyes, her once brilliant blue irises dulled to grey. She barely slept anymore.

Taking her eyes off her own reflection, she noticed a small hole at the bottom of the wall, through which she had helped that little mouse bring the key to unlock Cinderella’s prison. What was his name? Jaq? He had claimed to have met Ven. Aqua felt a little warmer at that. Ventus had made friends too, in the Worlds. Had the Fairy Godmother shrunk him down to mouse size, too? It was an amusing thought. 

Aqua was so glad she had helped Cinderella in time. She could see the Castle of Dreams from the window, across the deep forest and overlooking Castle Town. Cinderella had achieved her dream, going to the ball, marrying the Prince… And now her World was gone. Ventus was comatose. And Terra… Somehow, Aqua had thought thinking of her friends would cheer her up, but instead she suddenly felt more miserable than ever. 

“I took it for granted. I thought I had nothing in life to lose.” 

She sighed and left the house. There was only one other place to go, the Castle of Dreams. Traveling from the Château through a wooded park, past a fountain and a stone bench, Aqua finally arrived in Castle Town. She walked down the cobblestone road through the lamplit streets. Not a soul stirred other than the monsters quietly lurking in the shadows. Aqua stopped in the town square. A fountain stood in the middle; even it was nearly silent. The houses around her were dark and empty.

_Everyone in this World thought they were safe. Not just the people, but the dog waiting for his owner… the cat curled up in her nook… So much life. There’s no deeper sadness than discovering all that you knew is gone. The grief in this place is too much to fathom. Where did the people who lived here go, once their World was taken away?_

She sighed and walked forwards. “That’s enough. I can’t keep wishing for the past. At least they’re not here, so they haven’t fallen to Darkness. I’ll take what solace I can from that.” The long and slightly winding path from the town square lead her through a small forest towards the Castle of Dreams. The entire Castle was situated on a chunk of floating rock suspended over an empty void.

Even in the Dark World, the Castle was stunning and magnificent in its beauty, all white columns and high towers which faded into the dark sky. The clock on the tower was permanently stuck at midnight, the same time Aqua had first arrived to this World. Cinderella had run right past her, and then Terra had been there. Aqua had thought he’d been alright, but that hadn’t been true. By that point, he had already begun slipping into Darkness… 

“What I wouldn’t give to turn back time, to spend one more night beneath the stars with my best friends…” Aqua gasped and shook her head. “I’m doing it again.” It was so difficult to not think of the past.

She pushed past the finely crafted gates into a rectangular courtyard of meticulously trimmed hedges. A square stone pool sat at the center, surrounded by four columns, each hosting a steadily burning flame. Aqua peered into the motionless dark water. The last time she was here, there had been Prize Pods under the water’s surface. Although she had startled them out of their hiding place, the strange floating Unversed hadn’t attacked her. They had been filled with various sweet treats— cakes, muffins, candies… 

When she had showed the treats to Huey, Dewey, and Louie in Disney Town, the three little ducklings had fashioned ice cream from the ingredients. Aqua had been wary to try it at first, —eating something created from the Unversed sounded disgusting— but the first bite had told her otherwise. 

As she ascended the white stone steps leading to the Castle entrance, Aqua remembered the ice cream Queen Minnie had given her for the Million Dreams Award in Disney Town. Royalberry Ice Cream, a unique flavor made specially for her. An award she, Terra, and Ven were supposed to all win together.

Aqua found herself missing them; all of them, not just Terra and Ven and Master Eraqus, but King Mickey, Cinderella, Prince Phillip, Zack, the citizens of Disney Town, Peter Pan and the Lost Boys, even Experiment 626. All of the friends she had met along her journey. The Dark World would be bearable if only she could see just one familiar face…

The inside of the Castle was dark. Walking through the entrance hall, Aqua realized she hadn’t seen a single Heartless since entering the Castle gates. Could it be that the Castle’s natural Light had driven them away? Somehow, though she wanted to hope, she doubted it. 

Aqua surveyed the dark foyer. She already knew the extravagant red staircase lead up to the ballroom. Leading off to the left was a grand set of doors, which were slightly ajar. Aqua wasn’t quite sure what she was searching for. Cinderella? Terra? Some sign of life? Of anyone? She could only move forward. Aqua took only a couple steps towards the doors when a bright light suddenly shone from the ballroom. She threw a hand across her face, blinking as the light dimmed. And standing there at the top of the staircase, outlined by glittering golden light was—

“Terra!” She couldn’t believe it. Her best friend was smiling down at her. Her elation at seeing him was quickly replaced by dread. “It can’t be. What are you _doing_ here? You should be in the Realm of Light— Oh no… Did you not make it out? Don’t tell me, has the Realm of Light—” She stopped babbling to let him answer her questions, but Terra didn’t move, didn’t speak a word. He just stood there, staring and smiling. “Why won’t you say anything to me…?”

He turned away from her then, disappearing back into the ballroom. Had that really been Terra? Or was she was finally losing her mind? If there was even a slim chance that was the real Terra… She called after him as the light faded, racing up the stairs two at a time. 

The ballroom was empty. Aqua stood there in the dark, feeling more alone than she ever had before. “So what were you, a memory among these shadows? Were you here to… try and tell me not to lose heart?” She clutched her hands over the silver pendant on her chest.

Aqua’s empty stomach churned at the sudden stench of decaying roses. A creak caught her attention, drawing her eyes to the chandelier which hung from the high ceiling. The air above the chandelier shimmered and two yellow eyes like twin embers leered out of the gloom. The near-invisible creature leaped towards her. Aqua realized just in time and cartwheeled out of the way. It hit the ground where she had just been standing, the blue tile cracking on impact. Its body shimmered as its cloaking spell deactivated. 

The creature was a giant horned beast, with curved red claws and a crimson mane that flowed like fire. It bore a heart-shaped hole in the center of its chest, which was wreathed by thorns. It roared to reveal a row of metallic fangs, its hot breath sending another wave of nausea over her.

To her surprise, rather than attacking her head-on, it lobbed a barrage of Dark flames in her direction. She blocked them just in time with a Barrier spell. Aqua grit her teeth and summoned Master Keeper to her hand. She would not be defeated by a dweller of Darkness. She sent a bolt of Thundaga coursing through the beast, the lightning leaving burning white streaks in its hide. However, it appeared to have only done surface-level damage and the beast was quick to recover. Did monsters even feel pain?

Lunging forwards, it swiped at her with its claws, but she dodged again. In her fatigue she botched the cartwheel, painfully twisting her left wrist. The creature’s momentum carried it crashing into the far wall, leaving an impact crater on the stone. Aqua couldn’t allow herself to take a hit from that thing.

She cast another spell, an icy spike of Blizzaga crippling its hind leg. The beast dragged the limb on the floor but was still standing and faster than her. Aqua charged her Focus and let loose a Prism Rain Shotlock that left her breathless. The creature roared as the salvo of bright, rainbow-colored magical orbs hit it square in the face. It swiped blindly at her with its talons. 

Gasping, she barely raised Master Keeper in time. The Keyblade blocked the sharp claws, but didn’t lessen the impact of the blow. Aqua was knocked into a stone pillar and fell to the floor. Rattled, she shakily stood back up, preparing to evade yet another attack. Her Mana was too low for another Barrier and she was slowing down from exhaustion. The monster had turned invisible once more.

_Where did it go?_

Aqua spun around, searching for its tell-tale shimmer. 

_There—!_

She saw it but wasn’t fast enough to dodge completely. It raked its long talons across her shoulder, causing her to cry out. The scratch wasn’t deep, but it burned painfully. Aqua had run out of Mana for a Curaga spell; Cure would have to do. Or at least it would have, if another scratch across her back —deeper this time— hadn’t interrupted her spell-casting. 

She was out of Mana, Potions, and options. The creature was blocking the ballroom entrance so she couldn’t escape. Aqua wobbled on tired legs and an empty stomach, bleeding out onto the center of the floor. She was too weak to run. Even as she raised her Keyblade into a defensive position, she knew it was hopeless.

Aqua would never see her family, Terra and Ven, again. She would never be able to thank King Mickey for his help or Queen Minnie for her kindness, or go on a date with Zack. Master Eraqus was dead. Ventus was comatose. And Terra… Terra was amnesic at best, at worst lost forever to Darkness… 

Dark fire swirled around the monster. It lunged forwards, its open maw ready to devour her.

This was the end.

Maybe it was better this way. Better to die now, go down fighting with what dignity she had left, than wander the Dark World forever or fade away into the Darkness. But even as this thought passed her mind, Aqua knew it wasn’t true. More than anything, she wanted to live. She wanted to escape this horrible place, see the sun and blue skies, see Terra and Ven smile again.

There was a sudden motion on the upper balcony, a dark blur almost too fast to see. It leaped onto the creature from above, driving its blade deep through the beast’s skull. The dying creature collapsed heavily just inches from her, dark blood and bits of brain matter splattering against the red carpet. Aqua sank to her knees as the beast’s carcass dissolved into black smoke, her vision blurred from exhaustion and tears. Relief washed over her even as her senses started to give out.

_Terra came back,_ she thought deliriously. _He… he saved me…_

Relief quickly turned to horror at the sound of a horribly familiar voice.

“What’s wrong? Giving up already?”

Darkness swirled across her vision and everything went black.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

The boy in the mask stared down at the blue-haired Keyblade Master slowly dying at his feet. Aqua’s face was gaunt, her usually rosy skin pale and ashy. The dark bruises under her eyes were an obvious sign of lack of sleep. Loose strands of hair stuck to her sweaty forehead and her breathing was shallow, uneven. She looked weak. Pathetic. Nothing like the proud Keyblade Master he had fought.

Vanitas’s broken heart beat rapidly in his chest. He hadn’t seen anyone since… Well, since Ventus had rejected him and destroyed the X-Blade. Somehow, he had been expelled from the other half of his heart _again_ and banished to this hellish Dark World.

How Aqua of all people had ended up down here was anyone’s guess. She’d had a hand in destroying the X-Blade, too. He should kill her, execute his vengeance upon the girl who had murdered him; who had ruined his one chance at salvation. Her shallow breath hitched as he wrapped his fingers around her throat and squeezed tight. He would choke the life out of her while she was too broken to fight back. Simple and clean. She wouldn’t feel a thing. 

Vanitas paused. His fingers twitched.

Would this really be a satisfying victory? A painless death, when she wasn’t even aware of who killed her? Shouldn’t she suffer for what she did to him?

He uncurled his hand from her neck and brushed her hair out of her face. Aqua took a shuddering breath and cringed at his touch. Even unconscious, she shied away from his Darkness instinctively. It wasn’t hard to see why. Her heart was nearly pure Light, even after spending who knows how long in the Dark World. Any being with that much Light would find Darkness disgusting.

Aqua’s Light carried a scent that made him dizzy, burned his nose, seared his lungs in a way that drove him mad. It was also bright and clean and sweeter than anything he’d ever tasted, sweeter than the pain. She was the only Light in the Realm of Darkness. He’d forgotten how much he craved it.

Vanitas felt a stirring in the deepest pit of his Dark heart, a base desire he didn’t understand. It was something he’d only ever felt for one person, and she was dying right before his eyes; an all-consuming urge to fill her up with his Darkness, devour her sweet Light, and feast upon her heart.

With a grunt of self-disgust and a great effort, he shoved the mysterious emotion down as deep as it would go. Dark as he may be, he was no common Heartless. He instead turned his attention to a different emotion, this one all too familiar, for it had haunted him his entire life; the great empty ache of loneliness and longing. Without his Master, without the X-Blade, Vanitas was aimless. Purposeless. Lost.

Vanitas wasn’t sure how long it had been since his defeat at Ventus and Aqua’s hands, but the loneliness he felt now was far worse than it had ever been back in the Badlands. At least then he’d occasionally had someone to talk to, even if his Master was a creepy old man with a X-Blade fetish.

In the Dark World, there was no one. He’d walked for what seemed like ages, killing whatever Heartless attacked him, living off Prize Pod food, and sleeping wherever and whenever he could. It seemed the Heartless would attempt to devour any heart, even one as Dark as his. Even through all that, he was pretty sure no time had actually passed. Vanitas had thought he was going insane —well, more insane than _usual—_ when he’d started talking to his own Unversed. But now… 

Somehow, for some reason, Aqua was here at his mercy and he didn’t know what to do. Vanitas hated her and Ventus for ruining his chance at salvation. But if he killed her, whatever enjoyment he’d get out of it would be brief, and then he would be alone again.

Vanitas mulled it over. If Xehanort had succeeded in securing Terra’s body for himself, and Aqua was lost to the Dark World, then Ventus would finally understand the loneliness that had plagued Vanitas’s entire life. He wanted to see the look on that loser’s face when he realized both his friends were gone. Aqua’s death would ensure that loss was permanent. 

It would serve Ventus right for rejecting him.

However, he hadn’t gotten any feedback from Ventus in a long time. The idiot wasn’t dead, Vanitas would know if he was, but Ventus didn’t seem to be aware of anything, either. It was as if he were in a deep sleep. If Ventus wasn’t awake to experience misery, then what would be the pleasure in killing his friend? 

Ventus, that hopeless sleepyhead. While his friends were lost to Darkness, he was taking a nap.

That raised an interesting question, though. Just _where_ was Ventus sleeping? And more importantly, how could Vanitas get him back? Usually, the connection between their half-hearts would allow Vanitas to vaguely sense Ventus’s general location. For some reason, however, the ability wasn’t working. It wasn’t as if the connection was broken; rather, there was some kind of interference blocking his second sight. 

Aqua must have hidden him somehow. If Vanitas wanted to find Ventus, if he wanted to take his body back and become more than just an empty shell with half a heart, he would need Aqua to tell him where Ventus was.

It was decided. Killing Aqua would achieve nothing. As much as he enjoyed seeing her in pain, as much as she deserved it for killing him, Vanitas had to admit he needed her for now.

Vanitas lifted the Keyblade Master in his arms and held her against his chest. Aqua was heavy, but he was strong. She shivered, unconsciously disturbed to have such a Dark heart pressing against her body. With her close proximity he couldn’t help but inhale another deep lungful of her sweet, addictive scent. Even as it burned his throat on the way down, Vanitas wanted to drink in as much as he could. After he found a place for her to rest, he’d need to go clear his head. He wouldn’t be able to think, otherwise.

The upper antechamber was as good a place as any; it would serve his purposes. He dumped her body unceremoniously onto a purple couch. Laying there, half-dead, Aqua looked rather vulnerable. Vanitas didn’t want some roving Heartless to eat her heart before she woke up, nor did he want to be around when she did.

Reaching into his heart, Vanitas grabbed ahold of his Loneliness and yanked it out with a tendril of Darkness. The resulting Scrapper crouched on the red rug, hugging its clawed arms around itself and shivering. The Unversed weren’t particularly bright, but they would obey simple commands.

“Keep watch; alert me when she wakes up,” he told it. The Scrapper tilted its head towards its master’s voice. Speaking to the Unversed was unnecessary, as Vanitas could just mentally command them to do what he wanted, but he’d become lonely enough that talking out loud just felt better. He’d have to break the habit.

Vanitas turned his attention back to Aqua and inspected her wounds. The Dark Thorn’s claws had just grazed her shoulder, but dug deeply into her back. He had long since run out of Potions; a Vile Phial would have to do. Using his earlier feeling of Self-Disgust, Vanitas summoned the Phial to his hand. He popped the crystalline cap off the bottle-shaped Unversed and forced Aqua’s mouth open so she wouldn’t choke on the green healing sludge as it slid down her throat. 

Aqua shuddered and groaned in her sleep as the Dark healing magic did its work. As soon as she awakened, Vanitas would ‘persuade’ her into giving up the location of Ventus. And if she refused or didn’t know, well…

_It never hurts to have a backup._

Vanitas’s lips twisted into a demonic grin, the closest expression to a smile he had worn in a long time. One way or another, he would finally be whole.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Aqua bolted upright only to hiss at the pain in her arm and back. With a groan she leaned back onto some cushions. Where was she? A quick glance around her surroundings told her she was still in the Castle somewhere, in a small square room furnished with a purple couch upon which she lay with paintings and mirrors adorning the walls. A dark green blur flitted at the corner of her vision but was gone when she tried to take a closer look.

Aqua checked the wound on her shoulder. It was healed over, obviously magically, but whoever had done it certainly hadn’t used a Cure spell, as it still hurt. Her mouth tasted awful. She wiped her mouth with the back of her glove, surprised to see it stained with some greenish substance that had dried on her lips. Some kind of healing Potion? Luckily for her, she had regained enough Mana from sleeping to cast Curaga on her wounds. Aqua hoped they wouldn’t scar.

…Maybe she had imagined it, in a hunger-induced delirium. There was no way that _he_ of all people could be here, much less save her life. Aqua pushed herself upright and off the couch, walking to the balcony. The room below was the ballroom, where the giant monster had attacked her. This was some sort of antechamber, then.

Suddenly a dark figure swung up onto the railing right in front of her. Aqua couldn’t help but scream as she stumbled back. The figure hopped down to the floor, chuckling darkly. The fabric hanging off its belt swished around its legs as it stood to its full —albeit short— height.

It— no, _he_ was clad in a black bodysuit made of thick, veinlike fibers. Emblazoned across his chest were twisted red veins that highlighted his muscular build. A shiny dark helmet of jagged grey metal and opaque black glass obscured his face. And for some unfathomable reason, he was wearing a navy-blue _skirt_ of all things. 

Aqua shook herself. Now wasn’t the time to criticize her enemy’s fashion sense. 

The boy in the mask… Terra had mentioned his name, once.

_Vanitas._

“Morning, sleeping beauty,” he purred. “Have a nice nap?”

Aqua involuntarily shivered but stood her ground. “What are you doing here?” she asked, eyes narrowed.

“I’ll be asking the questions,” Vanitas snapped. He folded his arms across his chest and leaned back on the banister. “So, the great _Master_ Aqua has finally graced the Realm of Darkness with her presence,” he drawled. “Shouldn’t you be chasing after your loser friends? Where could those two idiots possibly be?”

“I’d rather die than tell _you,”_ she spat.

_“That_ can be arranged,” he goaded lightly.

Aqua tensed, her eyes widening a fraction. “You won’t kill me, you need me. Otherwise you wouldn’t have saved me,” she countered. At least, she hoped that were true. Why else would he have killed that monster?

Vanitas cackled, a high-pitched sound that sent chills down her spine. “Oh, _please._ You think I saved you ‘cause I _need_ you? You’re mistaken, Aqua. I did it ‘cause I was _bored.”_

So much for that, then. Vanitas’s posture remained relaxed. If she struck now, he wouldn’t be expecting it. Aqua’s hand curled in anticipation to summon her Keyblade.

As if reading her mind, Vanitas stood up a little straighter. “I’ll get right to the point. Where’d you hide Ventus?” His voice lost its faux affable quality, becoming deeper, more dangerous.

“I won’t let you hurt my friends.”

“It’s always about your friends, isn’t it,” he sneered. “You and Ventus.”

“At least I have some!” Aqua countered.

“Oh yeah? Take a good look around; see where that’s gotten you,” he said with a wide, dramatic gesture. “Is this what you call friendship? Face it. They’ve abandoned you down here.”

“Shut up!” Master Keeper was in her hand with a flash of light.

Vanitas didn’t even flinch. “Now, what do you think you’re gonna do with that?” His tone was mocking. “That’s Eraqus’s Keyblade, isn’t it? Master’s Defender?”

“Master Keeper,” she corrected hotly.

“Yeah, whatever.” He made a motion as if rolling his eyes; it was hard to tell with the mask. “Tell me, how is the old Light-blind idiot? You loot that off his corpse?”

She was on him in an instant, but Vanitas had summoned his black-and-red Keyblade in the blink of an eye, blocking her strike with a lazy single-handed guard position. He’d barely even moved or changed his stance. Aqua could feel the weakness in her own arms and was overcome by a sudden dizziness from hunger. Vanitas suddenly pushed forwards, shoving her hard against the wall. Master Keeper tumbled out of her loosened grip. She tried calling it back but it just sat where it had clattered against the floor.

Vanitas’s oversized Keyblade pressed heavily against her chest. It thrummed with heat and energy, so much unlike Master Keeper’s cold dead weight. Aqua held it at bay with the palms of her gloved hands against the flat of the blade. However, it was likely that the only reason the sharp edge wasn’t sinking into her flesh was because Vanitas wasn’t putting any real weight behind it.

“You haven’t completely bonded with it, have you?” he said, quite calmly for the situation. “I know you can’t turn it into one of those fancy Keyblade Gliders, otherwise you wouldn’t still be here.”

This close, the stench of his Darkness was horribly oppressive. What's worse, she heard him inhale deeply, as though smelling her. Thoroughly unnerved, Aqua suddenly realized she had no idea what he was capable of.

“Don’t touch me!” she hissed; sparks of a Thundaga spell crackled and arced across her fingertips. To her surprise, he complied, drawing back just far enough to trace the sharp tip of his Keyblade across her chest, digging directly into the silver pendant that lay protectively over her heart.

“That Keyblade isn’t yours to bear. You don’t deserve the title of Master,” Vanitas said, indicating to where Master Keeper lay lifelessly on the floor.

“I passed my Mark of Mastery!”

“Oh, I saw that pathetic little excuse for a test,” he sneered. “Fighting magic orbs is all it takes to be a Keyblade Master nowadays? What a _sham.”_

Aqua almost began to argue the importance of the Mark of Mastery, its history and what it represented, the clashing of powers and revealing of natures, but she suddenly realized that Vanitas had just given her an important piece of information.

“You were spying on us!”

“Xehanort let me tag along,” he shrugged. “I was just there for Ventus. Looked like the stupid brat was having fun. Pampered. Spoiled. _Weak,”_ Vanitas spat the last word, and the pressure of his Keyblade increased, its metal teeth scraping against her pendant.  “It was fun to see Terra fail, though. He couldn’t even go one fight without relying on the Darkness. No wonder Eraqus didn’t make him a Master.” He tilted his head. “…Terra killed your Master, didn’t he?” 

Aqua could hear the smirk in his voice. “That was Xehanort’s fault! He _tricked_ Terra into it! He set the whole thing up to awaken Terra’s Darkness.”

“So he _did_ give in to Darkness!” Vanitas jeered gleefully. “Terra had no control over the Darkness in his heart, but Xehanort made good use of him. How’d the old man enjoy his new meatsuit?”

“Excuse me?!”

“His _vessel,_ idiot. If his plan worked out, Xehanort’s running around in a shiny new body named _Terra.”_

Aqua stared in horror. “No…”

“Oh, yes. Where’s the fun in a Keyblade War if you die of old age?”

Aqua thought back to when she had fought the Darkness-possessed Terra in Radiant Garden. His voice, his hair, his mannerisms… They hadn’t been like Terra at all. If it really had been _Xehanort_ she had saved, and not Terra…

_Oh Light, what have I done?_

“I… I just thought it was his Darkness… He didn’t know who he was…”

“Really now? That’s interesting.” Vanitas finally dismissed his Keyblade, turning his back on her and making his way to the antechamber entrance. “I wonder what went wrong…?” he mused to himself, pacing across the floor.

He was ignoring her, so Aqua took a moment to inspect her pendant. She had received it as a symbol of her apprenticeship to Master Eraqus, a symbol shared between her and her friends. It had sustained a hairline scratch where Vanitas’s terrible Keyblade had bitten into it.

Rage bubbled up inside her heart, and not just at Xehanort. Vanitas had tried to possess Ventus too, she hadn’t forgotten that. These two monsters had conspired to take her friends away, rob them of their bodies, their Master, their home, _everything._ Aqua was sick of monsters, whether they attacked with weapons or words. She wasn’t going to let Vanitas stand there and laugh and insult her friends and Master. Her anger came tumbling out as words, more vicious than she’d ever said to anyone. 

“That was your plan, was it? Possess Terra and Ventus and start a Keyblade War? Well guess what, there will be no War. You failed! You and your Master!”

Vanitas stopped pacing and turned to look at her. “Shut up,” he growled. “I just told you he got to Terra.”

She shook her head. “Even if Xehanort took Terra’s body, he can’t remember a thing. Terra’s still fighting from the inside. He’ll defeat Xehanort eventually.” Even as she said this, Aqua realized something. “Xehanort concocted this whole scheme, didn’t he? _He_ was the real mastermind, not you. Without him, you’re nothing; just Xehanort’s pet monster!”

“I said shut up!” Vanitas was fully facing her now. His fists were shaking and Darkness visibly curled around his body.

Maybe it was childish. Maybe it was petty. But Aqua was tired of walking long roads in the dark, and half of the reason why she was here was the Dark creature standing before her. Unkind words were nothing compared to what Vanitas and Xehanort had done to her family. Even if he attacked her, she had defeated him thrice before. She was alone, but so was he.

“I’m sick of your nonsense. You want Ven? Good luck finding him! I’ve made sure you’ll never hurt him again, you Dark, disgusting, faceless _freak!”_

“SHUT UP!”

Vanitas lunged at her, but she was ready and sidestepped out of the way, quickly whirling around him despite her wooziness just in time to see his fist connect with the wall, the impact leaving a deep crack in the stone. Aqua shrank back, suddenly aware of how strong he was. 

_ The last time I’d called him that, he’d just snapped Ven’s wooden Keyblade in half like it was nothing…  _

Vanitas’s shadow suddenly seemed to grow. Except it wasn’t his shadow, but a thick black ooze which foamed up from his back and coalesced into a fat creature with dark maroon coloring, a black symbol like a twisted heart emblazoned upon its large gut. It was an Unversed. Aqua stared in horror as it materialized. She had thought she’d seen the last of these foul monsters!

Aqua was so shocked by the Bruiser’s sudden appearance that she’d hardly moved before it grabbed her in its crushing claws. She struggled in its grasp. Aqua thought she heard Vanitas swear, but his voice was drowned out by her own scream of pain as the monster squeezed tightly around her ribcage. Suddenly Vanitas’s Keyblade tore through the Bruiser’s torso from the back, missing Aqua’s face by mere inches and spraying dark viscera across her chest. 

Aqua fell on her rear as the creature dissipated into black smoke, gagging at the Dark stench. “The Unversed… come from _you?!”_ she wheezed. Aqua nursed her injured sides, which were likely already blossoming into a bruise. She applied a Cure spell to her aching ribs.

Looking up, she could feel the heat of Vanitas’s glare through his mask. His shaking fists were clenched at his sides. “They _are_ what I _feel._ Anger. Rage. Hatred.” His approaching steps punctuated every word. 

Of course. Eraqus had informed her and Terra that the Unversed were fledgling emotions, taken monster form, but Aqua had never imagined they could all come from one person. Although, even calling Vanitas a ‘person’ was a stretch, wasn’t it. The being before her was a creature of Darkness; a demon. One who walked and talked like a human, perhaps, but still a monster.

He was standing over her now. “Unless you wanna get killed, just _shut up,_ stop asking questions, and _try_ not to piss me off.”

Aqua glared. “Is that a threat?”

“Just a warning,” he growled.

Aqua rubbed the dark Unversed ichor off her pendant and stood shakily. “I’ll fight you if I have to.”

He scoffed. “You really think you can kill me? You were knocking on Kingdom Hearts’s door a few hours ago. Even if you manage to win —which you won’t— the Shadows’ll come finish you off.” Vanitas leaned in closer, and she backed away from the smell. He was absolutely nauseating. “So, you’ve got a choice. Either fight me now and get yourself killed, or call it a truce and stay the hell out of my way.”

She glared at him in stoney silence. The black blood of the Unversed was slowly dissipating into a curl of black smoke, but the foul stench of Darkness lingered on her clothing.

Vanitas tilted his head, regarding her. “There is a third option, of course… We survive together.”

_What?_

Was he offering… an alliance? Of all the things he could have said, that was what she had least expected.

“I don’t need you,” Aqua spat.

“Obviously you do, ‘cause otherwise you wouldn’t be standing here right now,” he countered. “I’ll tell you what. I’ve already died once; can’t recommend the experience. So how about you don’t attack me, and I don’t kill you. Between the two of us, nothing’ll stand in our way. Deal?”

Aqua stared at him in confusion. Vanitas had tried to kill her three times in the past; it didn’t make sense for him to help her now. Xehanort must have ordered him to do this… But how? And when? Before the Graveyard? It just didn’t make sense. He said she had a choice, but that wasn’t true, was it?

“I’m your prisoner,” she said flatly.

He snorted and drew back. “What, you think I wanna babysit you? I _was_ gonna show you the kitchen, but if you wanna go ahead and starve, be my guest. Just don’t ask me to drag your sorry ass around the next time you collapse.” Vanitas turned heel and walked back to the antechamber entrance.

He was actually going to feed her? It would be foolish to let her regain her strength. He must have some ulterior motive, but with the pit in her stomach and weakness in her body, what else was Aqua supposed to do?

“Are you coming or not?” Vanitas snapped impatiently.

“I’ll come with you, but we are _not_ allies,” she said vehemently. “If you _dare_ touch me again…”

“Oh, grow up,” he sneered. “No one else is gonna help you. No Fairy Godmother is gonna magic you out of here; no Prince Charming is gonna swoop in and save you. So stop treating this like some kinda kiddie fairytale. This ain’t a Castle of Dreams; it’s a fucking nightmare.”

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Aqua followed the boy in the mask with quiet revulsion. Vanitas’s Darkness had a distinct, horrible scent. She had thought her time spent in the Dark World would allow her nose to adjust to the smell of Darkness, but his stench was overpowering even compared to the native monsters. He led her out of the antechamber and down a flight of stairs into a long dark hall. More Dark creatures lurked in the shadows. Those brave enough to attack were swiftly cut down by Vanitas’s sinister Keyblade.

“How do you know where you’re going?” Aqua asked, equal parts curious and worried.

“I did a little exploring while you were out,” he said disinterestedly. Vanitas wasn’t screaming or growling anymore; that was a relief. Aqua felt brave enough to ask another question.

“What are these monsters, these dwellers of Darkness? They’re similar to the Unversed, but—”

Apparently that had been one question too many because his temper flared again, tainting the air with fetid Darkness. It was enough to make her nauseous.

“They’re called _Heartless,_ idiot,” he snarled, rounding on her. “Didn’t your pathetic Master teach you anything?”

_How dare he—!_

“Master Eraqus was far wiser and stronger than you’ll ever be!” she retorted.

“Really now? Then how come he’s dead, and I’m not?” 

Even though she couldn’t see his face, Aqua was sure he was smirking. It was bad enough she was trapped in the Dark World, but to also have to deal with _him?_ Vanitas really couldn’t be cordial for more than a few seconds, could he. Aqua shook her head. She couldn’t allow him to get a rise out of her again. 

Aqua decided instead to focus on his question, rhetorical though it may be. How _was_ it that he had survived? The last time she’d seen Vanitas, he had possessed Ventus like a demon and summoned a strange-looking Keyblade. After that Keyblade broke, whatever hold he’d had over Ventus ended. Aqua was sure Vanitas hadn’t been within Ventus when Mickey had taken them back to the Mysterious Tower; Master Yen Sid would’ve sensed it. 

“How _is_ it that you’re still alive? And in the Realm of Darkness?” she asked.

“I… I thought I told you to stop asking questions,” he snapped after some hesitation. From the sound of it, he probably didn’t know either.

Aqua chafed at the thought of letting Vanitas bully her around, but she decided to not push the issue. It didn’t matter how he had gotten here, anyway. What mattered was how she was going to get out.

They walked across the foyer and towards a set of small doors she hadn’t noticed earlier. Aqua eyed the Castle entrance. Should she run? In her current starving state, she probably wouldn’t be able to escape fast enough. Vanitas was quick on his feet, quicker than Ven even, and he could presumably reign a horde of monsters down on her head at any moment. She would keep following him for now.

Vanitas led her through the small doors and into the kitchen. It was decently sized, if a bit primitive compared to what she’d had in the Land of Departure. At least there was an icebox. Checking inside, she found the food was surprisingly well preserved, not moldy at all. Maybe the lack of time passing had stopped the food from rotting. 

Something occurred to her. The food here had been left untouched, yet _someone_ had cleaned out the kitchen at the Tremaines’; she now had a suspicion as to the identity of the culprit. That dark little puddle she’d seen scamper across the garden hadn’t been a ‘Heartless’, but rather an _Unversed._

Not wishing to test Vanitas’s patience by using the oven, Aqua simply pulled a bread roll and some vegetables from the pantry. Honestly, she was hungry enough she would’ve eaten anything she could get. Food would replenish her Mana to acceptable levels.

Sitting at the servants’ table, Aqua quietly hoped Vanitas would leave so she could enjoy her meal in peace, but he leaned against the kitchen counter and folded his arms. She couldn’t see his eyes through his helmet, but she knew he was watching her. Well, if Vanitas was going to stick around, the least he could do was answer some more questions.

“May I ask something, now?” 

“You just did,” he said blandly. “But since you’re not gonna shut up if I say no, fine. Go ahead.”

“Why were you at the Tremaines’ Château?” Aqua asked.

“…I could sense Ventus had been there. I was drawn to his presence,” he answered after a brief pause. So she was right. Vanitas had been watching her from the windows.

“You can sense where he is?” If he knew Ventus’s location, then what was stopping him from going after Ven now?

“Not currently. Which is why you’re gonna tell me.”

So he didn’t know. Aqua narrowed her eyes. “And if I don’t?”

“You’ll find out,” Vanitas growled.

What exactly could he do? Kill her? Maybe, but then he wouldn’t get his information. Torture her? Likely, but if he thought he could get her to talk, he was dead wrong. Aqua was a Keyblade Master, and she would never betray her friends. No matter what, she would protect Ventus.

“Torture me if you want,” she huffed defiantly. “I’ll never tell you where Ven is.” The wards she had placed around the Chamber of Waking were likely what was keeping Ventus safe. Without her, Vanitas would never reach him.

“Oh, aren’t we brave,” Vanitas sneered. “You sure you wanna provoke me?” His tone darkened. “Would it really be worth the _pain?”_

Aqua could feel— no, _see_ the Darkness rolling off him in a thick black cloud. She glared at him; though she couldn’t see his eyes, she refused to blink or show fear. It was as if their energies were locked in combat. Her fingers twitched. Master Keeper was at the edge of her mind, ready to heed her beck and call.

A whole minute ticked by.

Vanitas finally relented, looking away and the moment passed. The black cloud dispersed but the stench of Darkness lingered in the air.

“You’d be defiant to the end, wouldn’t you; die for your friends,” he said quietly. “I’d expect nothing less from a Wielder of Light.” He muttered something under his breath. Aqua wasn’t entirely sure what he said, but she thought she caught the word ‘backup’.

“You don’t understand people at all, do you.” She shook her head. “It’s not just Keyblade Wielders who would die to protect the ones they love. I suspect that’s something you could never understand. I’ve had enough of people like you, like the Tremaines, who just think others are to be used and stepped on.”

“The Tremaines, now there’s an interesting bunch,” he mused, evidently ignoring the rest of what she’d said. “Did you know their negativity was powerful enough to influence the Unversed?”

Aqua was startled by the sudden amusement in his voice. “The Cursed Coach?” Cinderella’s step-family had tried to _kill_ her with the pumpkin-shaped Unversed.

“Yeah. It was just a regular Thornbite until the Tremaines showed up spewing their Resentment everywhere. I never knew regular humans could have Darkness that strong.” He laughed, an unpleasant sound. “But maybe I shouldn’t be too surprised. They named their cat after a _demon,_ after all.”

“You say that as if you’re praising them!” Aqua shouted, appalled.

“So what if I am?” he taunted.

Aqua shot up out of her chair, its wooden feet scraping against the floor. “Do you have any idea what they did to Cinderella? What they put her through?!”

“How the hell should I know?” Vanitas scoffed, having the audacity to sound offended. “A Princess of Heart with a pure Light like that? Life must’ve been sunshine and rainbows for her!”

“Vanitas, just because her heart is pure Light, doesn’t mean her life was perfect.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” he countered. “She looked pretty happy with that idiot Prince.”

Aqua shook her head, slumping back down in her chair. “The Tremaines were jealous of Cinderella’s Light,” she began quietly. “So they forced her to practically be a _slave_ in her own home. They did everything they could to keep her isolated, even locking her up just to keep her from escaping that horrible life. And then, when their jealousy became so great that they were overwhelmed by their own Darkness, they tried to _murder_ her with that Unversed. Her own _family_ wanted to _kill_ her!” If Aqua hadn’t defeated the Cursed Coach, Cinderella would be dead.

Vanitas had been eerily silent throughout her retelling. When he finally spoke, it was with no emotion. “Well that’s a very interesting story, Aqua. But I’m afraid you left out the part where I’m supposed to care.”

Aqua gaped at him before clenching her teeth in anger. Did he lack even a shred of basic empathy? Tears stung her eyes, but she refused to cry in front of this monster. “You’re horrible,” she said.

Vanitas gave a surprisingly tired sigh. “What, you just figure that out now?” 

She stared at him in silence. Not receiving any response, he finally left. Aqua ate her meager meal without tasting it.

_So, I’m trapped in the Realm of Darkness with no way home, and the only thing not currently trying to kill me is a violently insane demon. Look on the bright side. I’m not dead, and Ven is safe._

He was also comatose, and the only reason Aqua was alive was because of _Vanitas,_ of all people. Aqua sighed. She had to admit, it wasn’t much of a pep talk.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Vanitas wasn’t entirely sure he believed Aqua’s story.

He’d gone to the Castle of Dreams to spread his Unversed on Xehanort’s orders, but Cinderella’s pure heart had caught his attention. Vanitas had been drawn in by her overpowering scent, clean like a pleasant breeze and linen sheets all wrapped up in a terrible, beautiful, burning pure Light. It had caused him agony and pleasure in equal measure.

Her scent had been a brief distraction from his mission, and he had watched Cinderella for a little while, hiding in the forest near her Château. She seemed to like doing chores, singing all day with a smile permanently plastered all over her face. He doubted she’d ever been upset one moment in her entire life.

Except… he had found her crying the night of the ball. It had unnerved him. Vanitas had never seen another person cry before, other than himself. He hadn’t understood why she’d been crying over a torn dress of all things, for she lived in a wealthy house. Surely her stepmother would just buy her a new one.

_I’ll give you something to cry about,_ he had thought and summoned a whole swarm of Unversed before hiding in the foliage just as Terra had arrived. And then right after Terra had saved and comforted her, Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother had swooped in to magic up a brand new dress for her and then she was off to the ball. Every tiny problem had been solved for her.

Vanitas had figured that would be the end of it, a perfect little happy ending to the fairytale. But then the old fairy’s spell had unravelled, Cinderella had returned home, and the Tremaines had tried to kill her. ‘Tried’ being the operative word.

It wasn’t as if they had controlled his Unversed; the fledgling emotions only obeyed one master. Rather, a Thornbite had grown fat off their negativity, their Resentment feeding into the Unversed’s power until it had evolved into the Cursed Coach. The Tremaines had been arrogant and foolish to believe they could use an Unversed for their own purposes, and it had destroyed them.

_‘Her own family wanted to kill her!’_ Aqua had said. Was that supposed to mean something to him? Vanitas didn’t have a family. Nor did he want one, if that was what they were like. What if Aqua was right, and the Tremaines had done horrible things to Cinderella? Kept her locked up, treated her like shit, used her as nothing more than a _tool…_

Vanitas shook himself. So what? A torn dress and a few chores were nothing compared to what he himself had suffered. He would not feel sorry for some pretty Princess who got everything she ever wanted. Even if her World was lost to Darkness… Well, she’d had more happiness in one night than he’d had in his entire life.

Enough about Princesses. Vanitas had more important matters to deal with.

Like Aqua… Of all the people he could have met down here in the Realm of Darkness, she was the one he had least expected. Of course, out of her and the two idiots she called friends, Aqua _would_ be the most capable of surviving down here. Still, she was foolish to reject his offer. Not killing each other was in both of their best interests.

It could be worse, Vanitas supposed. He could count on one hand the number of people he’d ever met, and had held conversations with even less. Out of the few people he had spoken to in his short, miserable life, she was the one he hated the least. If it had been Terra down here, he would have killed him in an instant, or just let that giant Heartless finish the job.

Vanitas had to admit it was… _invigorating,_ talking to another person again; even if their conversations consisted of nothing but arguments, insults, and threats, but that was how all his conversations went. Aqua had called him a monster; a freak. 

…So what if the truth hurt sometimes.

Whatever she had done to keep Ventus away from him, it had worked; it looked like he wouldn’t get any information out of her. Aqua would never tell him the location of Ventus, not even on pain of death. Her friend was too precious for her to do that.

Her earlier suggestion had left him more nauseous than he’d like to admit. Threats, manipulation, combat… Those were all fun and games. But coldblooded _torture…_ That was something _Xehanort_ would do. Besides, he needed her to be strong, seeing as he would have to use the contingency plan after all.

Even as the thought passed his mind, Vanitas realized there was a snag in his plan. There was only one place where the X-Blade could be forged, and that was the Keyblade Graveyard. But… he didn’t need the X-Blade to merge their hearts, did he? Just a strong Light to clash against a strong Darkness.

_Not yet,_ he told himself. Aqua was too weak to merge with him right now. He would wait a few days to let her regain her strength, and he’d finally have everything he’d ever dreamed of.  _If_ it went better than last time, that is.

Vanitas suddenly felt exhausted from the day’s events. He closed his eyes and sighed. Maybe Ventus had the right idea. He needed a nap.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

While she couldn’t exactly say she was well rested, food in her stomach made Aqua feel better than she had in a long time. Her Mana had recharged and her legs were no longer shaking. The next important thing would be to figure out her current situation.

Leaving the kitchen, she glanced nervously around the foyer. It was empty. Same for the long corridor leading to the Castle entrance. Aqua thought Vanitas would’ve placed some kind of Unversed sentry, but apparently he hadn’t lied about not keeping her prisoner. Walking down the white stone steps into the rectangular courtyard, she noticed a large red door off to the right. 

_Now where does that lead?_

The gardens were mostly quiet. Winding through them was one long path which curved around the back of the Castle, fringed by scattered patches of trees. The yellow eyes of the Heartless peered from the shadows of the thicker copses, but a well-placed Thundara sent them scattering. Aqua walked past a gurgling fountain and over a bridge suspended over a shallow river that cascaded over the side of the cliff in an endlessly flowing waterfall. The Realm of Darkness had no respect for the laws of physics.

She arrived back at the gated entrance, having simply walked in one big circle. As far as she could tell, the entire Castle of Dreams —forest, gardens, and all— rested on a sizable chunk of rock suspended over a deep, possibly bottomless chasm. The only exit from the Castle grounds was the wooded path back to Castle Town.

Aqua could leave now if she wanted to, go back the way she came into Castle Town. But she would just be retracing her steps, with no knowledge of how to return to the Realm of Light. 

_You won’t get back staying here, either._

That was true, but if she stayed in the Castle for a little longer she could regain the rest of her strength. Here Aqua had food and shelter, even if she did have to share it with Vanitas. Speaking of him, perhaps he knew the way to the Realm of Light, assuming he would even tell her. Although, he didn’t seem particularly concerned about her leaving, so maybe he would. It was a stretch, but it was better than nothing.

Finding Vanitas wasn’t hard. All she had to do was follow her nose. He was in a bedroom on the second floor, laying on his side with his legs curled up to his chest. It was an oddly vulnerable position. Aqua couldn’t tell if he was asleep or awake, as he was still wearing his mask. He wasn’t even going to take it off to sleep? _Could_ he take it off? …Did he even need to sleep?

Vanitas shifted, straightening his legs. “What the hell do you want?”

So he _was_ awake. She ignored his rudeness. “Do you know how to get back to the Realm of Light?”

“If I did, do you think I’d still be here?” he snapped.

Aqua frowned. “I just thought you liked being in the Dark.” Was he not from the Dark World?

Vanitas sat up, laying his arms across his lap. “Oh yeah, I love wandering around with nothing to do but stare at rocks and keep the Heartless off my back,” he sneered. 

So that was a no, then. She would have to find a way back on her own.

He seemed to consider her before explaining further. “Honestly, I don’t have any way of getting back,” he said with a surprisingly mild tone. “I already tried using the Dark Corridors; they won’t open down here.”

“Why not?”

“Probably ‘cause they’re pathways through the Realm of Darkness between two different points in the Realm of Light, like a tunnel. You can’t go _through_ the Dark World if you’re already _in_ the Dark World.”

Aqua blinked. “I didn’t know that.”

Vanitas snorted. “Your Master must’ve been shittier than I thought. You really don’t know anything, do you.”

Aqua narrowed her eyes as her anger began to mount. Barely a minute of conversation and he was already infuriating.

_Deep breaths, don’t let him upset you._

“Why would Master Eraqus teach us about that kind of stuff?” she asked. “We used Portals of Light, not Darkness. To do so would go against the teachings of all Keyblade Wielders.”

“Well, there’s your problem. You never learned anything about the Darkness, so how could any of you ever hope to fight against it? Not all Wielders are from the Light. Your Master was too Light-blind to see that.” He flopped back onto the pillows. It seemed he was done talking to her. 

Well, she’d gotten the information she’d wanted, or rather lack there of. Aqua turned to leave.

Vanitas chuckled darkly, presumably to himself. “Xehanort obsessed with the Dark, Eraqus obsessed with the Light. What’s the difference…?”

Aqua faced him again. “The difference is that Darkness hurts people,” she answered defiantly.

“So does the Light,” he breathed.

“Only those who allow themselves to fall to Darkness.”

Vanitas tilted his head inquisitively. “I wonder… does that include Terra?”

Aqua stiffened.

“Tell me, how many times did Eraqus try to beat the Darkness out of him?”

“What in the Worlds are you talking about?” Aqua asked, taken aback. “Master Eraqus would never hurt any of us.”

She startled at Vanitas’s piercing bark of laughter. He sat up again and took on a contemplative posture, chin resting in his hand.

“So… Eraqus coddled him, too,” he mused. “Figures. No wonder the three of you are so weak. Let me guess. Your stupid Master made Terra push down all his Darkness until it grew closer and closer to his heart; then it finally consumed him.”

Aqua’s eyes widened. Was it true? By pushing down the Darkness, had Terra actually allowed it to take root deeper? That was impossible… Master Eraqus was wise; he had known what he was doing.

“The Master was helping Terra control his Darkness! The only way to fight Darkness is to push it down and give it no quarter in your heart,” Aqua easily recited her Master’s teachings.

“That’s a lie,” Vanitas spat. “Darkness ain’t something you can just ignore. You have to use it if you wanna control it. Ventus should’ve learned that before—” He paused. “Well, before he got sent to have a cushy life with all you idiots. Meanwhile I had to stay behind with Master Xehanort.”

Aqua blinked in surprise. “Wait, you knew Ven? Before his amnesia?” 

Why hadn’t she realized it sooner? Ventus had been Xehanort’s apprentice before being brought to the Land of Departure. It was entirely possible that Ventus and Vanitas had known each other, even trained together. Had Vanitas injured Ventus in some way, causing his amnesia and forcing Master Xehanort to separate them? 

Aqua felt anger rise in her chest and the accusation was out of her mouth before she could stop herself. “Are you the reason Ven lost his memories?!”

Vanitas snorted. “I suppose you could say that. But that’s more Xehanort’s fault than mine. He’s the reason we both have amnesia, actually.”

Vanitas had amnesia, too? Because of something Master Xehanort had done? Aqua’s anger drained into confusion. “What did he do to you two?”

“…Something you would never understand.” His dark mask and flat voice betrayed no emotion. “It’s in the past. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“You’re just going to forgive Xehanort for what he did?”

“Not forgive, just forget. I don’t have to worry about him down here. Probably the greatest perk of being in the Realm of Darkness. Honestly this place ain’t all bad, thanks to this Castle. As long as I’m here, I can eat as much as I want, sleep in an actual bed…” Vanitas patted the covers. “Hell, I might as well be Prince Charming himself.”

Aqua blinked. “You’ve never slept in a bed?” 

“The Keyblade Graveyard wasn’t exactly the lap of luxury,” he deadpanned. “Unlike you, I didn’t have a Master who spoiled me like a pampered princess.”

Aqua wasn’t sure how to respond to that. Part of her had assumed a Dark being like Vanitas didn’t need to sleep, or perhaps didn’t care where he did. It bothered her more than she liked to admit that he thought of simple commodities such as food and beds as royal luxuries. If Xehanort cared so little for his apprentices that he would tamper with their memories and wouldn’t even give them a proper place to sleep…

“Do you think, if Xehanort had brought you with Ven to live with us, to be taught by Master Eraqus, you could’ve been different?” As soon as the words left her mouth, Aqua knew it was a stupid suggestion. A creature as Dark as Vanitas would have never been permitted in their home.

Vanitas huffed. “It doesn’t matter what ‘could have been’. Xehanort needed me as his apprentice; what would be the point in bringing me to you? Besides, your Light-blind Master would’ve killed me the second I set one foot in his castle.”

“The Master wouldn’t just kill someone for simply _existing,”_ she protested. But he was right; Master Eraqus had no tolerance for Darkness. What had she been thinking?

Vanitas laughed again, as if he knew something she didn’t. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that. He certainly didn’t take to well to Ventus being the other half of the X-Blade. Things would’ve gotten pretty ugly if Terra hadn’t stepped in and offed him.”

_The other half of a Keyblade…?_

Hadn’t Ventus said something about creating a Keyblade if he and Vanitas fought? And the Master had tried to… _destroy_ him to prevent it? There must’ve been some misunderstanding.

“You saw what happened between Terra and Master Eraqus? Why was Ven there?” Aqua asked.

“I didn’t see it myself,” Vanitas waved a hand dismissively. “I was busy giving Ventus my ‘invitation’ to the Keyblade Graveyard. Xehanort told me afterwards. He’d sent Ventus to go confront Eraqus about his origins. Eraqus attacked Ventus; Terra killed him for it. End of story.”

“Ventus’s… origins? What do you mean?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” He leaned forward menacingly. “I’ll let you in on a little secret. Ventus wasn’t always such a good person. None of Xehanort’s accomplices are. Not me, not Braig, and definitely not Terra. Funny, someone so high-and-mighty as yourself still defending a _murderer.”_

“You’re one to talk!” Aqua shouted.

“Oh, please. I haven’t killed anyone.”

“Your Unversed hurt people. The Keyblade War would’ve destroyed the Worlds!”

“It wouldn’t be anything less than they deserve.” He laid back down with his arms folded behind his head, boots propped up on the footboard. “Look, whether or not Xehanort lied is irrelevant. The deed is done; your Master is dead. It doesn’t matter who killed him or why.”

“It matters to me,” Aqua muttered.

“What makes you think I give a shit? Why don’t you just leave me alone, already? If you haven’t noticed, I was trying to get some shut-eye.”

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

After that rather irritating conversation, Aqua decided she needed a distraction. Exploring the Castle and its amenities was as good an idea as any. She walked the length of the Castle’s second floor to another bedroom as far away from Vanitas’s as possible. 

After clearing out some small Heartless using Thunder and Blizzard as to not set fire to the furniture or drapery, she took a look around. The room was decently sized, likely a guest bedroom of some sort, with a small bathroom connected to it. She entered the bathroom, locking the door behind herself with a soft _click._ Vanitas might be asleep for now, but she still didn’t want to make herself too vulnerable. Though he could just unlock the door with his Keyblade, it would give her a few more seconds to prepare herself.

Aqua genuinely smiled at the sight of a bathtub. Finally she could scrub the grime from her body and wash her hair for the first time in forever, since before the Keyblade Graveyard. It was rather surprising that the Castle of Dreams had indoor plumbing, considering the World’s otherwise low technological level. The perks of being royalty, she supposed.

She stood before the marble counter and sink to study her reflection in the mirror. Aqua looked a little less pale than she had at the Tremaines’ and her eyes had regained most of their original color. Her blue hair was still a mess, however. It was matted and caked with dirt and dried blood; her own, for Heartless blood dissipated after a few minutes. She was lucky that it did, since otherwise she would be even more of a mess.

Aqua peeled off her clothes. They were fairly dirty, too; she would need to wash them after her bath. To her delight, the bathwater was actually warm. For a moment she wondered where the water came from, seeing as the Castle was suspended over a deep chasm. Yet another mystery of the Dark World, she supposed.

Sinking into the bath, she scrubbed the dirt and mess out of her hair with shampoo and soap. It was such a relief to run her fingers through her hair again. She washed out her clothes, too. They were mostly intact, just a few tatters here and there, but blood had stained the white fabric of her sleeves. Her silver pendant glistened in the dim light. Cleaning it had made the hairline fracture all the more noticeable. She would need to repair it once she returned home.

Aqua couldn’t help that her thoughts turned to Vanitas. She was surprised by his relative non-hostility compared to the way he had acted in the Realm of Light. Despite his gloating and goading, he actually seemed _glad_ Xehanort wasn’t around. Not that she could blame him if his claims of memory tampering were true. But if he really wasn’t following the old Master’s orders, then why was he doing this? 

It seemed he was searching for Ventus’s location, yet hadn’t pressed any further after the third time Aqua had refused to tell him. If he could lose interest that quickly, then what did he actually want from her? Was he really just bored, as he claimed? Vanitas was stuck down here, same as her. How many long hours had he trudged in the dark?

_Maybe he’s lonely, too._

How absurd. Vanitas was a being of Darkness, same as the Heartless. He belonged to the Dark World, even if he claimed otherwise. In fact, he seemed rather relaxed for someone who supposedly didn’t like it here. A dark thought passed her mind. If he was just doing this because he was bored, then what would happen when he grew tired of her? Should she stick around to find out?

Aqua cast Aero to dry out her clothes so she could fold them. Though they were now clean, she would rather have something more comfortable to sleep in. She rummaged through the bedroom’s wardrobe. Part of her felt uncomfortable wearing another person’s clothes, especially since she couldn’t ask permission, but Aqua figured it was okay if she was just borrowing them for the night. She slipped on a silver nightgown and laid down on the bed. 

Despite her exhaustion, sleep didn’t come easy. Aqua didn’t feel comfortable sleeping in the Castle with Vanitas and the Heartless around, but she had slept in worse places before, where the Heartless could attack her at any moment. She briefly entertained the idea of asking Vanitas to have an Unversed keep watch while she slept, but quickly dismissed the thought. What if he used it to attack her during the night? No, Aqua had survived the Dark World by herself for this long; she could handle herself for another night.

As Aqua lay awake, one thought swirled in her mind. She was so worried for Terra, now more than ever before. If Vanitas was right about Xehanort possessing him, then she had to return to the Realm of Light as soon as possible. Aqua glanced at her Wayfinder where it lay twinkling atop her folded pile of clothing. The blue star-shaped charm shared the same symbol as her pendant. Terra’s mark.

Vanitas was wrong about one thing. The circumstances around Master Eraqus’s death _did_ matter. Terra had claimed it was his fault, but Aqua was sure Master Xehanort was the true culprit. Why had Master Eraqus attacked Ventus, and what did it have to do with Ven’s past? How was he ‘half a Keyblade’? Vanitas knew the answer. Aqua would get the information out of him tomorrow, no matter how evasive or cryptic he attempted to be. Vanitas may be stubborn, but then, so was she. 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Aqua shivered under the covers. Why was it suddenly so cold? She was suddenly aware of a presence in the room and sat up. A shadowy figure stood in the doorway.

“Vanitas?”

The figure silently stalked towards her. Aqua summoned her Keyblade, and in the flash of light that accompanied it, she didn’t see the masked boy, but rather—

_“Ventus?!”_ she breathed. The blond boy smiled at her. “Ven, you’re alright! How did you get here?!” Or… was he just another illusion like Terra?

Ventus didn’t say anything. Something was wrong. He stretched his fingers towards her heart—

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Aqua awoke with a start. Her eyes searched frantically around the room, but Ven wasn’t there. It had just been a dream. She leaned back and blew out a breath of air. It was the first real dream she’d had in a while, actually. 

Her time spent sleeping in the Dark World was quick and fractured, barely lasting more than an hour at a time, not long enough for dreams. Even when she did get enough sleep, they were usually simple dreams of darkness and craggy rocks, occasionally of yellow eyes in the gloom, and always half-forgotten by the time she woke up.

But this dream had been so vivid…

Aqua changed into her regular clothes and splashed water on her face from the sink. Mentally preparing herself to face the day, she decided she wouldn’t allow Vanitas’s venomous words to get to her anymore. He was just trying to get under her skin, but she wouldn’t provoke him nor provide him a reason to attack her. And if he did so anyway, she was prepared.

Aqua still had her pride; she would be strong. Despite everything, she felt better than she had in a long time. “Light is always stronger than Darkness,” she told her reflection. For the first time since coming to the Dark World, she truly believed it.


	2. Chapter 2

Vanitas had half-expected Aqua to be gone by morning, but it looked like she’d decided to stick around. A small part of him appreciated that she saw him as the lesser of two evils compared to the other monsters of the Dark World. The other part of him felt insulted that she didn’t take him seriously as a threat.

While he still felt the need to watch her to make sure she didn’t get killed by a stray Heartless, Aqua was doing a pretty good job of defending herself so far. It seemed food and rest had done her some good. Color was returning to her cheeks and her eyes didn’t look nearly so grey and lifeless. Vanitas was rather glad for it. Dull colors didn’t suit her. Aqua would be at full strength soon; strong enough to merge her heart with his.

Perhaps it wasn’t really that surprising that she’d chosen to stay. The Castle of Dreams was the safest place the Dark World had to offer, at least from what he’d seen. Of course, just because the Castle was relatively safe, didn’t mean it didn’t have its fair share of vermin.

Vanitas and Aqua spent the morning clearing out Heartless from the first and second floors. They were mostly Shadows and Flutterings, but the occasional snaggletoothed Darkball made its appearance. No higher-grade Heartless like the Dark Thorn stalked the halls. Overall, pretty boring. It was made worse by the fact that Aqua refused to speak to him, just following him around like a living shadow. Vanitas could’ve lived with that except for her constant ‘hmm’ noises and the glances she sent his way, as if she wanted to ask him something. 

Maybe he should rescind his ‘no questions’ rule, though she had broken it so many times already he didn’t know why she was being so tight-lipped now. Vanitas could feel Aqua’s eyes boring into his back. Red Hot Chilis of Irritation burned under his skin, itching for their chance at freedom. Vanitas considered letting them out, but didn’t want her attacking him or running off.

Finally, he got fed up of her constant stares and confronted her about it as she passed him on the way to the kitchen.

“Spit it out,” he snarled.

“Excuse me?”

“You wanna ask me something, so _spit. It. Out.”_

Aqua shot him a look of irritation. “What did you mean before, about Ventus being a Keyblade?”

She was still on that, was she? Maybe he should just tell her. It wasn’t like she could do anything about something that had already happened.

Vanitas rolled his eyes, not that she could see through his mask. “Not _a_ Keyblade. _The_ X-Blade. Legendary weapon, the ultimate key, opens a door to all Worlds, Kingdom _fucking_ Hearts; ring a bell?”

Aqua frowned thoughtfully. “…That weapon you had when you possessed Ventus. That was the ‘X-Blade’?”

“Yeah, although it was incomplete, seeing as Ventus didn’t wanna cooperate. And I didn’t ‘possess’ anybody. That’s Xehanort’s thing, not mine,” he corrected.

“It looked like possession to me.”

Vanitas snorted. “Yeah well, you’re an idiot.”

Aqua crossed her arms. She looked ready to argue.

“Fine, you want me to spell it out for you? I didn’t _possess_ Ventus ‘cause I _am_ Ventus, or he’s me, whichever way you wanna put it. We’re two halves of the same whole, split into pure Darkness and pure Light.”

Aqua gawked at him for several seconds, obviously stunned. “Ven is nothing like you!” she protested.

“That’s _exactly_ what I said, idiot. Light and Darkness are opposites; of course we’re nothing alike.”

“No, I mean—! There’s no way you and he could be the same person,” she continued to argue, shaking her head as if that could make it any less true.

Oh, of course. Aqua couldn’t accept that her _poor precious ‘Ven’_ used to have more Darkness in him than _Terra._ Time to tell her how harsh the truth could really be.

“It was Xehanort’s doing. The only way to create the X-Blade is with a perfect balance of Light and Darkness,” Vanitas explained. “Xehanort wanted us— me to balance the Light and Darkness within myself, back when I was Ventus. I, he— Ventus I mean, was too weak and refused to use the Darkness. ‘Cause he refused, Xehanort broke his, my— our heart into two pieces. Ventus got the pathetic Light half, and I got the Darkness, which is why I’m stronger.”

Aqua stared at him. He could see her trying to process all the information. Even though she was leagues smarter than Terra, she still couldn’t understand any of it. Or refused to. Finally, she narrowed her eyes.

“Ven is still stronger than you. The X-Blade broke; that’s proof enough.”

“Shut up. Ventus’s fragile little heart was in shreds after we got separated. He’d still be comatose if somebody hadn’t plugged up all the holes. Even then he was practically a zombie when the old man dumped him on your doorstep.”

That seemed to catch Aqua off guard. “Someone had to… heal his heart? Xehanort?”

Vanitas snorted. “Unlikely.” No way Xehanort would’ve shared his heart with that loser. Besides… “If he had, Ventus’s heart wouldn’t be pure Light.”

“…What about your heart? Who healed you?” Aqua asked, regarding him with an expression he didn’t recognize.

Vanitas blinked. Well, that was the thing, now wasn’t it. His Dark heart was still full of holes, causing him near constant pain and bleeding Unversed wherever he went. Information Aqua didn’t need to know.

“As I said, I’m the better half. I didn’t need help,” he answered instead. “It was Ventus who needed to get stronger, and the Unversed were the perfect opponents.”

To emphasize his point, Vanitas allowed his Annoyance to manifest as a Red Hot Chili, holding the Unversed tightly in his grasp; it sizzled against his palm. He mentally willed it to reduce its temperature to a more acceptable level, uncomfortably warm rather than scorching hot.

Aqua had taken a sharp intake of breath and narrowed her eyes, but otherwise her mysterious expression didn’t change.

“They were created when he and I were split into two,” Vanitas explained. “The negativity took shape as these monsters; a horde of fledgling emotions under my control. Infinite and completely replaceable.” He reabsorbed the Chili, its heat spreading up his arm and settling in his chest. “No matter how many times you defeat them, their negativity flows right back into me.”

“You made all those Unversed just to train Ventus?” Aqua asked.

“Somebody had to break that loser in,” he shrugged. “Once his power was equal to mine, our hearts were ready to be rejoined. Then, when we clashed in battle, the X-Blade would be forged.”

“But it didn’t work,” she said dully.

“Obviously.” Vanitas grit his teeth. Why hadn’t it worked properly? He had yet to figure that out. It was as if something had blocked his heart from correctly aligning with Ventus’s; instead of merging fully together, Vanitas had felt like a foreign parasite within his own body.

Aqua looked lost in thought. Finally she spoke up, somehow managing to meet his eyes despite the mask. “Xehanort used you and Ven for a _weapon._ He used all of us.”

‘Us’? Since when was he ever included in an ‘us’? He finally realized what her expression was; it was _pity._ How dare she look at him that way; Vanitas wanted to hurt her for it.

She continued, oblivious to his mounting anger. “He tricked Terra into killing Master Eraqus and took over his body. We were all just pawns in his scheme.”

_“‘We’?_ Don’t you dare compare me to Ventus and Terra! I was an accomplice, not a victim.” 

“You didn’t ask to be split in two,” she pointed out. 

“And I didn’t hesitate when Xehanort ordered me to spread the Unversed throughout the Worlds!” he snarled. “I _wanted_ the Worlds to suffer. I _wanted_ to forge the X-Blade. And I _wanted_ a second Keyblade War.”

“Why?” Aqua asked suddenly. 

The simple question caught Vanitas off guard. No one had ever asked him _why_ he did anything. The answer should have been obvious.

_Why…?_

Because he was empty, and Xehanort had given him purpose. Because he was in agony, and the War would make everyone else suffer. Because he was broken, and the X-Blade would make him whole. It had been his sole reason for living; a light at the far end of a long, pitch-black tunnel.

Aqua was staring at him expectantly. He had almost forgotten she was there. 

“…Does it matter? I’m tired of answering your questions. Go bother some Heartless or something.” He refused to meet her piercing blue gaze.

“You’re the one who came to me,” she pointed out, the disappointment over his non-answer plain on her face.

“Yeah? And now I’m the one leaving,” he countered and swiftly walked away. He needed some air.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Aqua didn’t want to believe it. Ventus and Vanitas couldn’t possibly be the same person. Vanitas was just some faceless monster, trying to trick her with lies. That was the only explanation. Except… what he’d said was far too elaborate to be a lie, nor had it sounded like he was lying. But if Vanitas was telling the truth… 

She remembered Ventus with those horrible, Darkness-induced yellow eyes. Was that really what he’d been like before losing his memories? Vanitas had said Ventus hadn’t been a ‘good person’ back when he was Xehanort’s apprentice. If he’d had enough Darkness in his heart to create a being like _Vanitas…_

The Dark being in question had skulked off somewhere, but for once Aqua welcomed having some time alone. She needed to clear her head. The air outside wasn’t any less stale than the air inside, so she decided to go exploring. The Heartless she and Vanitas had encountered that morning had been of the lesser varieties, so she didn’t feel in danger scouting out the third floor. A few small Heartless —Shadows, Vanitas had called them— were brave enough to attack, but she dispatched them quickly.

Aqua soon came across a fairly large set of oak doors. Curious, she pushed them open. The room was dark. She lit a Fire spell and held it aloft. Yellow-eyed Shadows scattered like cockroaches in the bright light.  The room was a library, and an expansive one at that. Tall curving bookshelves lined the walls and weaved between finely-crafted wooden tables and chairs. A ring of fat red couches and plush chairs sat in front of the fireplace. Her heart lit up in excitement. Aqua had always loved books, ever since she was little. No surprise considering she had practically grown up in her mother’s bookshop.

She spent the next few minutes clearing out the lesser Heartless before lighting the fireplace. With a warm fire crackling in the hearth, the library looked much less gloomy. Aqua pulled back the thick curtains from the windows. The high tower of Tremaines’ Château was visible from here.

Aqua searched the shelves for something to distract herself from her troubled thoughts. Reading always made her feel better. One book in particular caught her eye. It was slightly worn at the edges and adorned with silver trim and a red ribbon. Pulling it off the shelf, she instantly recognized it. _La Belle et la Bête;_ the fairytale from her childhood. How had it found its way to this World? Settling down on the couch before the fireplace, Aqua turned to the first page, noted the beautiful watercolor illustrations, and began to read. 

A few chapters later, Aqua found herself quite shocked to discover how similar the parallels between the fairytale and Cinderella’s life were. She had remembered the Beast and enchanted castle from the story, but not Beauty’s horrible sisters. Aqua glanced out of the window again, at the high tower in which Cinderella had been kept as little more than a slave by her own step-sisters. Yes, the two tales were similar. The only difference was that there was no Beast in Cinderella’s story. Well, unless she counted the Unversed.

Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother had advised Aqua against using Light to combat the Darkness. She had said a strong light would cast strong shadows; one couldn’t exist without the other. Could the old fairy have been right? Master Eraqus had taught otherwise. Darkness was nothing but hate and rage; Aqua had seen it grow within Terra, corrupting his heart. It had destroyed the Tremaines. The Fairy Godmother had said Darkness couldn’t be destroyed by Light, and what _could_ was something Aqua was too young to understand. What could the old fairy have meant…?

Unlike the Tremaines, who’d given into Darkness willingly, Vanitas hadn’t had a choice in the matter. He’d been created from the Darkness of Ven’s heart via Xehanort ripping them in two. Who could possibly do that to another person, let alone his own apprentice? Maybe Xehanort was more monstrous than his own monster…

While Vanitas’s mind still remained just as unfathomable as ever, Aqua was beginning to get a clearer picture of his past. Whatever his life under Xehanort had been, it hadn’t been pleasant or easy. Perhaps she would have felt sympathy for him if he hadn’t tried to kill her and her friends.

Although… _had_ he been trying to kill her? It had certainly seemed that way at the time, but then there was that curious incident in Never Land. For whatever reason, despite having the opportunity to kill her while she was unconscious, Vanitas had disappeared after their duel. Why had he spared her life? Would he tell her if she asked?

If Light shouldn’t _fight_ the Darkness, then perhaps Aqua had been approaching this whole situation with Vanitas incorrectly. She had been thinking of him as little better than a Heartless; intelligent, but not human. But… he had a heart; his Keyblade was proof enough of that. If Vanitas had once been a part of Ventus, then perhaps she could appeal to that heart, no matter how Dark or twisted it had become.

It didn’t matter what Ven used to be like, Aqua decided. She hadn’t given up on Terra, even when he’d been consumed by Darkness. And as for Vanitas… Perhaps she just hoped that her only companion in the Realm of Darkness wasn’t _completely_ evil. 

Aqua bookmarked her place with the ribbon and sighed. It was time to find Vanitas.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Castle Town looked so small from where Vanitas leaned on the balcony of one of the Castle’s many tall towers, its twinkling lights sparkling in the distance. He would’ve dismissed his visor just to get some fresh air, but it was stale even this high up. He’d rather keep his mask on, anyway. He had come up here to brood; Aqua didn’t need to see his every emotion. 

Beyond Castle Town were the deep forests of the Dwarf Woodlands, yet another World swallowed by Darkness. What lay further on was impossible to see, as the landscape faded into the gloom. Despite the presence of trees and the Heartless, the Dark World was no more truly alive than the Keyblade Graveyard; an empty, desolate wasteland. There were only two living beings in the Realm of Darkness. Vanitas was one of them, and soon he would have to destroy the other.

Could he really bring himself to kill Aqua? He hadn’t been able to thus far, nor had he lied about having never killed a human being. Sure, Vanitas had felt the urge; he’d wanted to kill both her and Ventus several times, but had never followed through. Why not? Wasn’t he a creature of Darkness? Wasn’t he supposed to be a killer? 

Vanitas summoned his Keyblade, its twin reptilian eyes reflecting his dark mask. Void Gear was a weapon designed to kill, was it not? That was what it was for; a dark reflection of his own Dark heart. Killing people should be easy.

Maybe he was thinking too much. In the Badlands, between sessions of tort— _training,_ Vanitas had nothing but time to think. Aqua kept making him think about things he’d thought he had long since buried, foolish old wants and desires that could never be fulfilled. 

_‘Do you think, if Xehanort had brought you to live with us… you could’ve been different?’_

For a moment, Vanitas allowed himself to imagine it. Him, going to train with Master Eraqus, leaving Ventus behind in the Badlands. Him, having a warm bed and food and friends to laugh with, instead of growing up in a barren wasteland with just himself and his monsters and the old man for company. Not being beaten, not being lonely. Being raised by people who actually _cared—_

Vanitas choked on his own thoughts as a sharp pain laced through his broken heart. He clutched the balcony rail so hard that the wood splintered beneath his palms.

Disgusting. Pathetic. He didn’t need friends; they were a liability. Look where friendship got Aqua; abandoned in the Dark World. A bed would’ve made him soft. Just look at Ventus; asleep forever. Food? He had his Prize Pods; he could take care of himself. The pain in his chest settled to a dull ache.

What Aqua suggested hadn’t happened. It could never have happened, so why wish it? Why dream it? Dreams never came true. Not just by wishing, anyway. She was an idiot. Why waste time thinking about anything she said? Once he merged their hearts, Aqua would shut up once and for all. There would be no one to ask him stupid annoying questions. No one to pointlessly argue with him over petty things that didn’t matter anymore. No one to stare at him with eyes full of pity. No one to… to do anything with at all.

He would be alone.

…So what? He was stronger than his loneliness. He had already endured four years of it. Vanitas wouldn’t let such an insignificant speck of an emotion get in the way of his plan.

His plan, which now looked like it would fall apart at the seams. Now that he thought about it, his reasons for doing what he did, Vanitas was reminded of how little of his own idea this entire fiasco really was. It had been Xehanort who’d given him the task of forging the X-Blade. Beyond simply killing himself, it was the only way for Vanitas to make his suffering just _end,_ or so his Master had claimed…

_‘Xehanort used you for a weapon…’_

Of course Vanitas had known he was being used. The X-Blade was his purpose, the reason his Master had created him in the first place. Xehanort never had any other reason for keeping him around. But something about Aqua saying it out loud like that made it sound so much worse…

A voice in his head whispered that too many pieces were missing from his plan. Aqua’s heart wasn’t pure Light. They weren’t in the Keyblade Graveyard. Without the X-Blade, merging hearts might not even be possible. He was wasting his time and should’ve killed her yesterday.

Vanitas told that voice to shut the hell up. 

Aqua’s Light _was_ strong enough. He didn’t _need_ the X-Blade. His plan had to work. It was his only hope.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Aqua found Vanitas leaning on a balcony rail, staring down onto the landscape below. She approached him slowly, allowing her footsteps to echo as to not startle him. 

“May I join you?” she asked. 

Vanitas gave a noncommittal grunt, but it was better than a growl or a snarl, so Aqua assumed she could approach him. His scent wasn’t nearly as overpowering as it had been yesterday. She stood by his side just out of arm’s reach, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye. With his mask, it was impossible to tell exactly what he was looking at.

Silence reigned for several minutes. Nothing moved. No breeze tousled her hair, no bugs chirped. Not even Heartless could be seen from this height. Everything was still, save for the breathing that moved her and Vanitas both. The everlasting night and silence of the Dark World was absolute. 

Aqua turned her gaze upwards. Not a single star hung in the sky; it was black as pitch. A wave of forlorn nostalgia hit her. The night sky in the Land of Departure had been so clear and the stars so bright… Ventus had always loved the stars, gazing up at them with childlike wonder. Was Vanitas the same?

“I wish there were stars here,” she lamented. Vanitas seemed to study her for a moment —it was so hard to tell— before lifting his head towards the empty sky. He remained silent, so Aqua continued. “Ven and I used to stargaze all the time back home. We’d stare at them for hours. Terra says that every star is another World, and the light is their hearts shining down on us like a million lanterns. We always dreamed of visiting those far off places…” If Vanitas hated the mention of her friends, he didn’t show it, didn’t move. “I especially miss the constellations. In each World they were different.”

“Constellations?” he finally spoke.

“Mhm. If you imagine lines connecting each star, they form pictures.”

“…I never noticed,” Vanitas said quietly.

“Not much one for stargazing?” she asked. _Too busy terrorizing the Worlds?_

“No, not really. I never liked the stars,” he admitted. “They remind me of the Heartless. Like millions of glowing eyes.” Vanitas wrapped his arms around himself as if taken by a sudden chill, but the air remained still. “Neoshadows especially…” The slight tremble in his voice made him almost seem… scared.

“You’re afraid of the Heartless? But you’re both…” She trailed off as he suddenly stiffened, arms now tense at his sides. Maybe she had been mistaken in her assumption.

“I’m not _afraid_ of anything,” Vanitas snapped. “I just don’t particularly care for things that _eat hearts,_ seeing as _—contrary to what you believe—_ I _have_ one. What, you think just ‘cause we’re both Dark, we’d get along?” he asked acidly. “Are you buddy-buddy with everyone in the Realm of Light?”

Aqua blinked and pondered his question. There had been many people who she had fought throughout her journey. The Tremaines were the first to come to mind, then Maleficent and Hades. No, she had not gotten along with everyone in the Realm of Light, but that was because…

“The people I fought were evil. Maleficent and Hades used the Darkness to hurt others for their own personal gain. The Tremaines gave in to the Darkness in their hearts and it overtook them. Is a heart of Darkness really that different from a Heartless?” she mused. 

She instantly regretted her words. Vanitas’s arms were shaking, hands clenched into fists. Waves of fetid Darkness rolled off him and she could feel the glare from behind his mask.

“Shut the fuck up. I don’t need your lecture,” he fumed. “I’m _nothing_ like the Heartless. There’s _nothing_ in the Worlds like me, so stop pretending like you know a damn thing!”

“I’ve… offended you,” Aqua said quietly. The revelation came as a surprise. She hadn’t known he could _be_ offended.

Vanitas laughed bitterly and turned away. “Don’t flatter yourself. I’m far more offensive than you could ever hope to be. The fact that I _exist_ is an offense enough.”

Aqua wanted to apologize; she really did. But he was already leaving and the words stuck in her throat. Vanitas had confessed something to her, she realized. Something that he’d probably never told anyone. Whether his dislike of the Heartless was more out of fear or hatred she couldn’t tell, but it was something they had mutual ground on. His show of vulnerability disturbed her. It didn’t feel right for a being of Darkness to be afraid, especially not of his own kind. 

Darkness was supposed to be nothing but hate and rage, but that wasn’t really true, was it. Vanitas could feel emotions beyond anger. Fear, for one. And he’d been almost friendly until something she’d said had set him off. 

Aqua sighed. She wasn’t quite sure if she was making any progress or just wasting her time. Was talking to him really worth it? In a few days she would be ready to leave the Castle of Dreams and continue her search for the Realm of Light.

As it stood, Aqua had little intention of bringing Vanitas along.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

How could he have been so _stupid?_ Aqua had got him talking about _stars_ of all things, and he’d just confessed a weakness out loud like it was nothing! And then she went and practically called him a Heartless… Why did he keep letting his guard down? Was he really that lonely? Should he just go and spill his guts about everything he feared?

_Like Xehanort and empty spaces and being broken and—_

Vanitas doubled over as Floods and Yellow Mustards burst from his shoulders. He swore and summoned Void Gear, slicing his Keyblade through each Unversed before it could escape. He braced himself against the wall as the pain and emotions returned to him. Why did he always feel this way after talking to her? 

After their first encounter, when his wayward Bruiser had almost killed her, Vanitas tried to hold back his Unversed when speaking with Aqua. This time, doing so caused his fledgling emotions to build up so much that he’d had to run off and release them somewhere secluded. 

She already knew what he was, so why hadn’t he just unleashed them in front of her? Fear of loneliness if she left him? He could survive without her. Some vain desire to pretend he wasn’t a monster? Humans didn’t summon Dark creatures every time they felt anger or sadness or fear.

_Maybe I really am more like a Heartless than a human being._

Vanitas shoved the thought to the back of his mind. Did he feel like this _because_ he was holding back? He’d never held conversations this long before, other than with his Master of course, and Xehanort hadn’t cared if his conversations — _insults, beatings_ — made Vanitas produce Unversed. The old man had encouraged it, in fact. 

Vanitas’s heart had been bleeding Unversed ever since he’d entered the Realm of Darkness. Something about the Dark World was enhancing their negativity, making them harder to control. He hated it. Relying too much on the disgusting creatures made him feel worthless, like he couldn’t do anything by himself. It was why he always held them back during combat, fighting Ventus and Aqua without the Unversed’s interference.

Maybe that was what he needed to bolster his self-control and keep his emotions in check. A sparring match, one-on-one. He would prove to Aqua that he wasn’t afraid; that he wasn’t _weak._

Vanitas had waited four years to merge his heart with another’s. His plan could wait a little longer.

Aqua wasn’t going anywhere.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

The Castle of Dreams had become quite dull. Aqua took to long reading sessions in the library to distract from her boredom. The place had become a sort of sanctuary for her; unlike the kitchen, she didn’t have to share it with Vanitas— not that he seemed to have much interest in it in the first place. Aqua had never seen him read a book, nor go anywhere near the library in general. 

In fact, Vanitas seemed to be avoiding her on purpose. Aqua wasn’t quite sure what to make of it. He’d been so eager to approach her before, always ready with some taunt or jab, but now he barely spoke to her anymore. Well, it wasn’t as if she particularly wanted to speak with him, anyway. None of their conversations ever ended well. The few times she saw Vanitas were usually when they passed each other on the way to and from the kitchen. His body always seemed to be filled with a certain tension. Aqua didn’t know what to make of that, either, but it made her anxious.

Yesterday she had found a Chrono Twister broken on the floor in a hallway. The hourglass-shaped Unversed had been smashed, purple sand slipping from its shattered glass and the small black body of the Unversed flopping around like a dying fish. Vanitas’s bootprints had been in the sand. Aqua had speared the Chrono Twister with her Keyblade to put it out of its misery, and it vanished in a puff of purple smoke. Was Vanitas taking out his frustration on his own creations?

On the third day after their talk on the balcony —or at least what she thought was the third day, it was so hard to keep track— Vanitas confronted her in the foyer, wordlessly jerking his head towards the ballroom. Aqua warily followed him up the stairs. Once they reached the ballroom, Vanitas silently turned to face her and summoned his Keyblade. 

So this was it, then. He’d finally decided to kill her. Well, there was no way she would let that happen.

As soon as Master Keeper was in her hand, he lunged at her, swinging his Keyblade in a wide arc. Aqua blocked and countered with a quick thrust, which Vanitas easily dodged. He backpedaled and skirted around her, ducking another of her strikes before closing in. Aqua cartwheeled out of the way, careful to avoid getting too close to the pillars. Being backed into a corner could prove fatal.

They continued their deadly dance of clashing Keyblades, but Aqua knew she couldn’t keep evading him forever. Both of them would tire soon, and that meant making mistakes. She needed to end this quickly.

The next time their Keyblades locked, Aqua allowed her arms to go slack, slipping under his Keyblade with ease. Vanitas gave a grunt of surprise as she swerved around him and delivered a swift steel-toed kick to the back of his knee; his leg buckled and he stumbled forwards. Aqua took that opportunity to slash Master Keeper across his shoulder, deep enough to draw blood. She jumped back as he struck out in retaliation, readying her stance to go in for another hit, but stopped in place when she noticed Vanitas’s shoulders were shaking not from pain, but _laughter._

“So…” he drawled. “You’ve finally decided to get serious.”

“What are you talking about?” she asked, rather unnerved.

Vanitas just snickered in response. He charged towards her once again and Aqua took a defensive stance. Just as he was in range, she swung her Keyblade forwards, only to meet empty air. 

_Where did he—?!_

“Too slow.”

Gasping, she spun around to see a dark blur bearing down on her. Aqua’s eyes went wide as Vanitas’s Keyblade came hurtling towards her, but at the last second he flipped its angle so she was struck with the flat of the blade. She staggered back, a sharp realization dawning on her.

_He’s not going for the kill. What, does he think this is some kind of game?_

“That really all you got?” Vanitas taunted, flash-stepping several more times across the ballroom like a child showing off. Aqua grit her teeth. If this was a game, she was in no mood to play. 

_Time to end this._

Vanitas used his near teleport-like ability to rapidly close the distance between them, but this time Aqua was ready for him. Instead of raising her Keyblade, she swept his legs, tripping him out of the flash-step. Twirling Master Keeper in her hands, she struck Vanitas in the back with the hilt of her Keyblade hard enough to send him careening face-first into the floor. His helmet connected with the hard tile with a resounding _crack!_

“Ven! I’m so sorry—” Aqua gasped before slapping a hand over her mouth. But if Vanitas had heard her mistake, he hadn’t reacted. In fact, as she stared in horror, he wasn’t moving at all. 

_Oh Light, I’ve given him a concussion…_

Aqua rushed to his side. Just as she touched his shoulder, Vanitas’s hysterical laughter suddenly filled the room. She flinched and stumbled back.

“Not… bad… at all,” he grunted breathlessly and rolled onto his back, arms splayed out at his sides and fits of manic laughter still shaking his frame. “You’re a hell… of a lot more fun… than the Heartless,” he panted.

_That’s_ what this was about? He wanted to _blow off steam?_

“You’re insane,” Aqua shook her head, but then noticed his helmet. “Vanitas, your mask—”

The glassy surface had broken in several places, and through the sharp edges she could see a large yellow eye staring back at her. He had insisted he wasn’t a Heartless, but that gold glittering eye…

Vanitas suddenly jumped up with a rather acrobatic move, feeling along the sharp edges of his cracked visor. Aqua watched with a mixture of fascination and dread as it melted away from his face, the broken glass receding until only the jagged metal portion of the helmet remained on his jaw. One shard of glass had cut into his cheek, and he wiped the blood away with his thumb.

Aqua gasped. She couldn’t help but stare. Out of all the things she had expected Vanitas to look like, —hideous or deformed or with a mouth full of fangs— it hadn’t been this.

He was… _human._

Despite his harsh, deep voice and muscular build, he was just a teenager; a couple years younger than her, around the same age as Ven. In fact, the boys’ faces would be nearly identical if not for the rat’s nest of spiky black hair that fell over his golden eyes. How in the Worlds did he fit all that hair under his helmet?

Vanitas’s lips twisted into an amused smirk. “Like what you see?”

Aqua sputtered in shock, trying to regain her composure. “You have a _face?!”_ she squeaked.

“Yeah, what did you expect?” he said, his features falling into a defensive scowl.

“I didn’t— Wait a minute.” She leaned in for a closer look. He backed away from her, a mixture of confusion and worry evident in his expression. She could see why he wore the mask. Without its dark obscuring glass, every change in his emotions was extremely obvious. But that wasn’t the most fascinating part. The large round eyes, the dark unruly hair… Ventus wasn’t the only person he resembled.

“I recognize… Vanitas, your face— You look just like a boy I met on Destiny Islands.”

“What?” he blinked.

A sudden thought clicked into place. “You said Ven was brought to the Land of Departure just after you split, right? That was four years ago,” she said.

“Yeah, so?”

“That boy, he couldn’t have been more than four years old. I’m sure when he’s older he’ll look just like you.” The child’s age and the date of Vanitas’s creation, combined with their shared appearance, lined up too perfectly to be mere coincidence.

“Really,” he scoffed and crossed his arms. “You’re comparing me to a _four-year-old?_ You’re an even bigger idiot than I thought. I don’t even know the brat.”

“His name is Sora.”

Vanitas’s body suddenly went slack. Aqua grabbed his shoulders to keep him from toppling over. “Vanitas?” she asked worriedly. 

_Maybe he really does have a concussion…_

His expression went from blank to searching, golden eyes narrowing before he muttered, “Ventus knows this kid… this… _Sora.”_ Vanitas said the name with slow uncertainty, as if tasting it. “There’s some connection.”

“Maybe that’s why you have his face.”

Vanitas abruptly growled and wrenched free from her grip. Aqua gasped at the influx of Darkness radiating off him. She could see the twisted red eyes of the Unversed peeking out from the billowing black smoke.

_“My face is my own,”_ Vanitas snarled, his bared teeth and yellow eyes giving off more the impression of a wild animal than a human being. Before Aqua could react, he turned heel and swiftly summoned his visor, the dark glass obscuring his face once more. She could only stand there and stare after him. That sudden aggression, where had it come from? She looked down at the bloody shards of glass and chipped tile that glinted in the candlelight.

Aqua suddenly felt very foolish.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Vanitas made sure to lock the door behind himself before he let out his Unversed, though it wouldn’t stop Aqua from opening it with her Keyblade. Hot, thick Rage boiled over into physical form, filling the small room with fat, Angry Bruisers. It had taken a great deal of effort to not let the emotions escape and tear Aqua apart right then and there. Vanitas almost wanted to praise himself on his self-restraint.

Dueling Aqua had told him multiple things. He could still hold his Unversed back in combat, so they weren’t entirely uncontrollable. Aqua was still a thrill to fight and had fully regained her strength. However, Vanitas had not felt the same tug on his heart as he had with Ventus, the same sparks that would blossom into the X-Blade. Aqua had nothing left to offer him. She refused to tell him the location of Ventus, and was useless for the merge.

And for whatever reason, she thought he looked like some stupid kid. Like some… _Sora._

The name placed a burning pressure upon his skull. More Unversed writhed within his heart, all searching for their opportunity to escape. His eyes watered from the effort of keeping them inside while he tasked himself with destroying the Unversed he had already released. Floods of Distress, Scrappers of Insecurity, and Triple Wreckers of Confusion and Doubt were smothered by the returning Rage of the Bruisers.

_Get ahold of yourself, damn it._

His sense of self was slipping again. He had to hold on to his identity, who and what he was. His name was Vanitas; a heart of pure Darkness created for the sole purpose of forging the X-Blade with his counterpart, a heart of pure Light.

_Ventus…_

Xehanort had taken his other half _somewhere_ right after they split, and while he was gone, two things had happened. Vanitas had created his first Unversed, and he had gained a human face when he hadn’t had one previously. What if wherever Xehanort had taken Ventus had been Destiny Islands? 

Vanitas had only been there once in his life, to challenge Ventus to a duel in the Keyblade Graveyard. He hadn’t seen anyone who looked like him on the Islands. Hell, he hadn’t seen anyone else besides Ventus, but something had drawn him to the place as soon as his other half had arrived. Was it really something more than just his innate connection to Ventus that had guided him there? Some connection to this _Sora?_

Vanitas hated the thought. Didn’t he have enough to deal with already? Ventus had already stolen his body and name. His face was the only part of himself that Vanitas didn’t absolutely loathe, and now that wasn’t his either; it belonged to some brat he hadn’t even met. 

Or… had he?

Vanitas closed his eyes, recalling what happened on that day four years ago, the day he had been born. A bright light, the sound of ocean waves, and a small voice so similar to his own…

_‘I’m a brand-new heart… The Light brought me… Join your heart with mine… Nothing else will slip away… Time to wake up now… All we need to do is…’_

“Open the door,” Vanitas whispered involuntarily. His body seized up before he looked around wildly for the source of the small voice, hands sweaty and shaking. Sora was the newborn heart Xehanort hadn’t known about, the one who had healed Ventus’s heart and given Vanitas a face. The reason why their merge had been unsuccessful and their hearts couldn’t fully align; why the X-Blade had been weak.

Sora’s heart was _in the way._

Now that he knew the reason behind the X-Blade’s instability, Vanitas no longer had need of a contingency plan. No… he just had to remove the ‘blockage’ from Ventus’s heart, and his problem would be solved. Vanitas summoned Void Gear, the black-and-red Keyblade adorned with chains and gears and the icy blue eyes of a coldblooded serpent. This wicked thing really was a reflection of his Dark heart; the last piece of himself that he could truly call his own. A weapon designed for a single purpose.

_Congratulations, Aqua. I’ve outgrown my need for you._

Vanitas was going to find this Sora.

And he was going to kill him.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

It was time to leave. Of that, Aqua was certain. She should have left days ago, either after eating her first meal in the Castle or sneaking out while Vanitas was asleep. Rummaging through the kitchen, she wrapped up as much food as she could carry and stowed it in a pouch on her belt. She didn’t know where Vanitas was, but soon it wouldn’t matter. Aqua had tried to appeal to him. None of her efforts had gotten through.

Even if Vanitas had once been a part of Ventus, even if he did have a heart, he was nothing like Ven now. Vanitas had said they were opposites, different in every possible way. He was absolutely right. Ventus was good and kind, a being of pure Light; Vanitas was evil and cruel, a being of pure Darkness.

Speaking with him and seeing his face… It had made him seem so human that for a moment she’d forgotten what he really was; a monster. He had hurt innocent people with his Unversed, possessed Ventus to forge the X-Blade, and tried to start a second Keyblade War. And all for what? He’d never given her a reason.

Did a demon need a _reason_ to commit evil?

Master Eraqus was right; Darkness really was just hate and rage. And Vanitas had the Darkest heart of all. Reason had nothing to do with it; he was just deranged, out of control. Attacking her out of the blue like that, without explaining it was just a sparring match… They could’ve killed each other. What would happen the next time he attacked her, and she thought it was for real? Or worse, she _didn’t_ think it was real, and let her guard down? 

With mood swings that volatile, consistency in his behavior just wasn’t something she could rely on. It was only a matter of time before Vanitas got bored or angry enough to become truly violent. Even though Aqua was sure she could defeat him if it came to that, she’d rather not take the risk. 

It didn’t matter that Vanitas had spared her life in Never Land and saved her from the giant Heartless. It didn’t matter that his Master had fractured his heart and wiped his memories against his will. It didn’t matter if he felt upset or scared or lonely. It didn’t even matter who he looked like, whether it be her best friend or a little boy or anyone else. 

It… it didn’t matter. It _didn’t._

Aqua squeezed her eyes shut as an ache formed in her chest, right over her heart. To think she had actually started to _care_ about him… She had to leave before she changed her mind.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Aqua was lost in thought as she walked the stone path through the woods back to Castle Town. For some reason the atmosphere seemed darker than she remembered. A realization struck her; the road was only being illuminated by the light of the Castle of Dreams. There weren’t any lights coming from Castle Town. 

_What is going on…?_

Aqua stopped in her tracks and peered into the darkness. A faint rustling caught her attention. Heartless? She summoned Master Keeper as a precaution, but no yellow eyes stared out from the gloom. 

The rustling was growing louder. She cast a simple Fire spell to illuminate the darkness. What she saw made her gasp in shock. Up ahead, stretching and flowing across the entire path like a great wave, was a wild forest of thorny red vines that twisted and writhed like a nest of serpents.

Aqua shrieked as a vine shot out and wrapped around her left wrist, digging sharp thorns deeply into her flesh. She sliced through it with her Keyblade, only for more vines to wrap around her booted ankles. Her feet were yanked out from under her and she crashed to the ground, by some miracle holding on to Master Keeper in a vice grip. 

She cried out a second time as a thorny vine raked against her calves, shredding the thin black fabric of her stockings. Bright rivulets of blood ran down her wounded hand and legs, staining her clothing. Aqua let loose a hot blast of Firaga, burning away most of the vines that had grabbed her, but fresh ones replaced them and renewed their assault. She slashed and burned, trying to escape, but for every vine she destroyed two more took its place. 

A voice suddenly called out to her from the direction of the Castle. “Aqua! Get away from there!” It was Vanitas, his heavy footsteps pounding down the stone path towards her as the vines tried to drag her off into the gloom. 

“I’m trying!” Aqua called back. She twisted her body around, scrambling for purchase on the stone tile and attempting to kick her legs free. 

Vanitas ran towards her, Keyblade in hand and dark mask hiding his emotions. He summoned a blast of Dark Firaga which ignited the vines near Aqua, the black fire burning dangerously close to her face. Vanitas caught up with her and cut through the vines that were clinging to her torso. The ones around her legs tugged powerfully towards the writhing nest. 

In a panic, Aqua tightly grabbed on to Vanitas’s wrist. He gave a yelp, wrenching free as if burned. The vines took that opportunity to drag her further down the path, the prickly thorns slicing through her skin. 

“No you idiot, come back! Aqua!” His voice became more distant as the light of the Castle of Dreams was completely cut off by the vines. 

Aqua cast a Barrier around herself, the hexagonal bubble of protective magic pushing the vines away from her body. She sat panting in the middle of the magic sphere, her legs heavily injured and her stockings and left sleeve soaked in blood. The vines crowded around the Barrier, searching for any weakness to push through.

She’d never held a Barrier spell for so long. Soon, her Mana would be depleted and the spell would break. Not for the first time, Aqua wished more than anything that Terra and Ven were with her. She dug out her Wayfinder and held it close. The blue star-shaped charm twinkled in the soft magical light of the Barrier. She was in so much pain, but she refused to cry; she had to stay strong for her friends. Aqua squeezed her Wayfinder and whispered a quick prayer. 

“Terra, Ven… _lend me strength.”_

She stood as best she could on legs shaky from blood loss and torn muscles, bracing herself with Master Keeper. The light of the Barrier was fading; the spines and thorns were piercing through tiny cracks in the magic bubble’s armor.

Aqua steeled herself. She would fight for her life to get out of here, burn down the whole forest if she had to. The path back to the Castle was almost a straight shot. She could do this, but she would have to be quick. Let down the Barrier, cast Curaga, then run for her life. Aqua would be out of Mana once she used her healing spell, so fire magic would be out of the question for at least a little while. She’d have to rely on her Keyblade.

Suddenly Vanitas’s urgent voice cut through the creaking and rustling of the vines. “Aqua?! Where the hell are you?!” 

She couldn’t believe it. She thought he had abandoned her… “Vanitas! I’m here!” Aqua called towards a steadily increasing glow of black and orange fire. 

Vanitas was carving a path through the vines, an entourage of Red Hot Chilis circling around him. Burning ash and billowing black smoke filled the air as the vines focused on their new target. One pierced through a Chili, shattering the pot-shaped Unversed and spilling its molten insides over the other vines which sizzled and writhed, chaotically attacking anything within their reach. Vanitas swore as he cut through a flaming vine that had launched itself at him.

Aqua coughed as smoke filled her lungs and stung her eyes. The Barrier fizzled out just as Vanitas finally reached her. He dismissed his Keyblade and offered her his hand. She stared at his open palm, then to his dark mask. All she could see was the raging inferno reflected upon its glassy surface. Time seemed to slow as the forest burned down around them, monsters of Darkness setting fire to thorny red vines. 

Aqua was in hell, and now the devil was asking for her hand.

She accepted his waiting palm. 

Vanitas pulled Aqua close and scooped her up into his arms. The Darkness of his heart coiled around her like a vice, heavy and oppressive, but she didn’t let go. He turned back down the way he came, holding on to her tightly as he broke out into a run. The vines were all around them once again, having killed off most of the Chilis. Aqua helped clear the way in front of them, though with her arm movement limited she relied more on fire magic than her Keyblade.

The vines ahead thickened into a thorny thicket, trying their best to block their escape. Aqua concentrated, charging her Focus towards the end of her Keyblade and unleashing a devastating Prism Rain Shotlock which sent red wood and thorns splintering in all directions. She and Vanitas finally burst free. The Castle gates were just up ahead.

A horrible crack rang out as the ground caved in around them, dragged down by the vines. The rumbling of earth and creaking of wood drowned out all other sounds as the forest was swallowed into the inky pit of darkness. Another Red Hot Chili died, and Vanitas stumbled. 

They weren’t going to make it. 

Vanitas heaved Aqua through the air and she landed painfully in front of the gates. With a hacking cough she expelled a lungful of black smoke. Master Keeper clattered beside her. The ground collapsed underneath Vanitas’s feet as he launched himself towards the newly forming cliffside. He scrambled for purchase on the crumbling path, grabbing fistfuls of dirt and broken tile. Freshly formed Yellow Mustards tumbled into the chasm below. 

Aqua scrambled towards Vanitas and took ahold of his wrists. This time he didn’t reject her touch. She strained to lift him, but her efforts were in vain. Her own panicked face was reflected in his dark mask’s scratched surface.

_He’s too heavy._

She couldn’t pull him up, not with her injured legs. Vanitas was going to die, and for some reason Aqua desperately didn’t want that to happen. He slipped further down and a colony of screeching Axe Flappers took wing.

“Aqua, don’t let go! Please don’t let go. _Please.”_ He’d never sounded so afraid.

“I won’t. I’ve got you,” she reassured him to cover her own fear.

Frantically, Aqua tried to think of a plan. A Zero Gravity spell would do the trick, but the cliff was crumbling faster than her Mana could recharge. The Axe Flappers swooped towards her, their tiny talons outstretched. 

“Vanitas, your Unversed! Do something!” Why would he command them to attack her? Did he _want_ her to let go? The Axe Flappers clawed at her arms, but to her surprise they dug into the fabric of her sleeves rather than her flesh. Some had also perched on Vanitas’s shoulders, and were flapping with all their might. 

It was working. The Unversed were pulling them away from the cliff’s edge.

Vanitas’s feet finally found their purchase and Aqua was able to hoist him up. She lay on the broken pathway, panting as she watched the Axe Flappers disperse, the chiropteran Unversed flying away to parts unknown. The last surviving Red Hot Chili eyed Aqua angrily before Vanitas gave a half-snarled, “Oh, no you don’t,” and shattered it with a bolt of Dark Thunder.

He stumbled past her to lean against the gate’s supporting pillar. With trembling hands he pulled off his helmet, shaking out his mess of spiky black hair. Vanitas didn’t even glance her way as he tended to the scratches on the mask’s glassy surface, sealing them shut with Darkness.

Aqua turned her attention to herself. Her legs were covered in scratches and puncture wounds and her stockings and sleeves were in tatters. There would be no salvaging her clothing this time. Overall, the damage was actually rather minimal considering the situation, thanks to her Barrier spell. With her Mana finally recharged, Aqua cast Curaga and watched with morbid fascination as her torn flesh knitted itself back together. It was a good thing healing magic was an instant painkiller.

Standing on shaking legs, she looked out to where the road used to be; a great yawning abyss had taken its place. Aqua sent a Fire spell across the chasm. The tiny fireball illuminated what she had feared. Castle Town was completely overrun with vines, some curling down into the depths of the ravine. 

There was no going back.

Aqua heard a thump and turned around just in time to see Vanitas slide down the stone pillar and collapse on the ground next to his half-repaired helmet, leaving a trail of bright red blood glistening in his wake.

“Vanitas?!” She rushed over to him, hesitating only a moment before grasping his shoulders to keep him in a sitting position. He slowly blinked at her, his yellow eyes greyed and dull.

“Don’t… touch me…” he slurred without venom. Vanitas tried to stand but ended up falling against her. Aqua gasped at his heavy weight and struggled to readjust him into a supine position on her lap. Her hands became wet and sticky with his blood.

How hadn’t she noticed his injuries before? The red thorns may have only scratched his helmet, but they had left a number of deep, bleeding puncture wounds in his back where he hadn’t been able to defend himself. Why hadn’t he cast Curaga?

Vanitas held up his hand, slick with his own blood. An odd grin broke out over his face, his eyes glazed and unfocused as he traced his bloody fingers across her cheek. Aqua flinched at the contact but Vanitas didn’t seem to notice.

“Hey, Aqua…” he chuckled deliriously. “Monsters don’t bleed red, right…?” The smile suddenly slid from his features as he slumped in her arms, hand hitting the grass and head lolling back. He had passed out. She stared at him, bewildered. What in the Worlds did he mean by that?

_Monsters…?_

That was what he was, wasn’t he? A creature of Darkness, hate, and rage. An evil, insane demon who caused nothing but pain and misery to all those around him.

So _why?_ Why would he do this?

If Vanitas was just hate and rage, then why had he expressed desperation and worry for her safety? If he was evil, then why would he risk his life for her? Demons didn’t sacrifice themselves because they were _bored._ If it was insanity, well… maybe Vanitas _was_ crazy. Crazy enough to rush into a burning forest of razor-sharp thorns to save her life.

Vanitas suddenly looked very small, cradled in her arms. His breathing was becoming more shallow by the second and he was losing blood, fast. The cut on his cheek from their earlier duel stood out red against his pallid skin, even more so than the unhealthy dark circles beneath his eyes. Even through his bodysuit she could feel his temperature drop. 

He was dying. 

Whether or not he was a monster suddenly didn’t matter. Vanitas was a teenage boy with a human heart who desperately needed her help. Sitting there in the silent gloom, holding on to the one companion she had in the Realm of Darkness, Aqua realized that she couldn’t bring herself to hate him, anymore.


	3. Chapter 3

The first sensation he had was that it was warm, wherever he was, and comfortable at that. Was he dead? But if he was dead, then why did he feel so damn _good?_

Vanitas blinked open his eyes. Where the hell was he? He shifted in a pile of blankets. A bed? Looking around, he assessed the situation. He was in one of the Castle’s many bedrooms. It was dim; only a single candle was burning. He sat up shakily just as Aqua walked into the room. For some reason her clothes were in bloodstained tatters.

“Oh, you’re awake! Just in time.” She was carrying a tray with a spoon and a steaming bowl of something. Whatever it was, it smelled good. “Here, eat this.” She held the tray out to him, revealing the contents of the bowl. It was soup. “You lost a lot of blood, so you need to regain your strength.”

Vanitas stared at her dumbly. What the hell was she talking about? And why were her clothes all fucked up?

“…I’m dead, aren’t I.” Either that or this was the most surreal dream he’d ever experienced. Aqua gave him an odd look. Vanitas reached up to rub the side of his helmet and nearly jumped when his fingers came into contact with hair instead of glass or metal. 

“Where’s my mask?!” he shouted frantically. An erratic Yellow Mustard sprung out of him —missing Aqua’s face by inches— and went careening down the corridor. Aqua jerked back to avoid the wayward Unversed and nearly dropped the tray, the soup bowl sloshing some of its contents over the sides. 

“It’s right there,” she said, wide eyed, nodding at the bedside table and readjusting the tray in her hands.

His Panic subsided when he saw she was right. His helmet was perched on the table, a few scratch marks lining the dark, glassy surface. Suddenly he remembered. He had taken it off in a delirious haze to repair it after being attacked by—

“The vines. What happened?” He inspected his arms where the thorns had torn through the fabric of his Dark Suit, but the holes had already stitched themselves up.

“Well,” Aqua took a seat in the chair next to him, setting the tray on her lap. “We were able to escape, but the path to Castle Town collapsed, and you lost so much blood that you passed out.”

“But how did I end up _here?”_ he insisted.

“I carried you, obviously. It wasn’t easy, though. You’re heavier than you look.”

Vanitas continued to stare at her in bewilderment. She had saved him? Why? A Triple Wrecker was trying its damnedest to materialize, but he held it back. Maybe if he kept her talking, he could alleviate his Confusion. Before he could ask, though, Aqua beat him to it.

“No more questions until you eat.” She set the tray over his lap; he resisted the urge to flinch.

“…This is for me?”

_“Yes,”_ she said in exasperation.

Vanitas eyed the soup warily. If she wanted to poison him, she could just use a spell, right? His stomach rumbled. Maybe he would try just a little sip. Grabbing the bowl with both hands, he had nearly brought it to his lips when Aqua gave a small noise of disgust.

“Were you raised by wolves?!” she asked, flabbergasted.

“Xehanort,” Vanitas corrected with a grunt. Aqua’s face fell into an expression that seemed suspiciously close to pity. _Seriously?_ She was upset by his lack of _table manners?_ Maybe she thought he didn’t know how to use silverware. Well, with the way he was acting, she probably _did_ think he was some kind of savage; more like an animal than a human being. 

“Oh, fine,” he conceded, reluctantly picking up the spoon in an awkward grip. When was the last time he’d used a utensil? 

“May I—” Aqua reached out to touch his hand. Vanitas jerked out of her reach and shot her a dark glare. She drew back and bit her lip. What the hell was her deal? At least none of the soup had spilled this time.

Aqua slumped in her chair. “I hope it’s decent,” she sighed sheepishly. “I was kind of in a hurry. I’m more of a baker than a cook.”

Vanitas didn’t particularly care what kind of chef she claimed to be. He tore his gaze away from her and turned his attention to the soup. Hopefully she would keep her hands to herself. With slight difficultly, he scooped up some broth and took a tentative sip.

It was delicious.

Not that Vanitas had ever eaten anything similar to compare it to, but still. He began eating with gusto, barely pausing to glance at Aqua. She looked relieved. What, was she worried her cooking wasn’t up to par? Sure, he preferred sweet foods, but right now he was just glad to be eating something he hadn’t either stolen or conjured himself, especially when it tasted as good as this. 

Vanitas realized he was smiling. An actual proper smile, rather than a smirk or one of his feral grins. It felt… good. Strange, but good.

Maybe she had poisoned him after all.

Unnerved, he turned towards her. “What did you do to me? I feel… different.”

“I used a Curaga spell on you. It’s quite a bit stronger than most healing magic, so you might be feeling some side effects, giddiness, that sort of thing. It should go away in an hour or two,” she explained.

“So this is what real healing magic feels like.” Vanitas flexed his fingers. Potions tasted bitter and gross, and his Vile Phials always made him nauseous. He remembered the thorns tearing through his back, but now he felt fine. _Better_ than fine. “Way better than a Hi-Potion.”

Aqua blinked in surprise. “You’ve never used a Cure spell?”

“Xehanort never taught me. He didn’t think it was necessary,” he shrugged.

“He sent you into battle without bothering to teach you healing magic?” she said incredulously.

“Hey, I can take care of myself. I’m not a helpless loser like Ventus,” he said casually. It was strange, usually he would’ve snapped at her for doubting his skill. “Besides, lessons don’t stick if you can’t feel pain.” That’s what Xehanort had always said, anyway.

Aqua was giving him that look again, the one dangerously close to pity. If he hadn’t known better, he would think that she actually _cared_ about him, which was impossible. Wasn’t it? 

Vanitas was suddenly very much aware of the warm food in front of him. Aqua had said she’d made it herself. Why would she spend time actually cooking, instead of just grabbing something from the pantry? Xehanort would’ve never done something like this. In fact…

“He didn’t think I needed to eat, either,” he mused absentmindedly, then mentally kicked himself. Damn, the Curaga was making him lightheaded. Or maybe that was the blood loss.

“Xehanort didn’t feed you?” Aqua asked, aghast. Her look of mild pity had turned to full-blown concern.

Vanitas didn’t trust himself to answer that question, but he knew he wanted her to stop looking at him like that. He pointedly turned away from her and continued eating in silence.

The truth was, Xehanort had never fed him. It was a toss-up as to whether his Master had truly believed he didn’t require sustenance, or if he just hadn’t cared. Either way, Vanitas’s stubborn pride had prevented him from asking for help. He would’ve starved to death his first week of life if the Hunger hadn’t manifested as Prize Pods. Those pacifistic Unversed he had kept hidden from Xehanort as to not show his weakness.

But Vanitas didn’t care to tell Aqua all that. Not now, not ever. It was in the past; nothing could change it. 

All too soon, his spoon scraped the bottom of the bowl. Setting the silverware on the tray, Vanitas sank back into the pillows and sighed, running a hand through his hair. None of this made any sense. Why was Aqua doing this for him? Vanitas couldn’t see himself serving her soup in bed. If their roles had been reversed, he’d probably have just shoved a Hi-Potion down her throat and called it good enough. Hell, he’d already done that with a Vile Phial.

Perhaps he was looking a little too forlornly at his bowl because Aqua offered to get him a second helping. She got up to leave, taking the empty bowl with her. Maybe it was the Curaga talking, but Vanitas couldn’t keep his question bottled up.

“Why are you helping me?” he asked. “What’s the catch?”

She paused at the doorway and glanced over her shoulder with a slight frown. “Do I need a reason to help people?”

“Yes.” Especially when the ‘person’ she was helping was him. “I don’t get it. Why didn’t you just let me die?” He had been at her mercy on the cliffside, reduced to pathetically pleading for his life. It would have been in her best interest to let him fall.

Aqua sighed. “I suppose I could ask you the same question.” 

He blinked. She didn’t wait for him to answer. Vanitas watched her retreating form as he pondered her response. He didn’t need to merge with her anymore, so why _had_ he saved her?

Days prior, he had rescued Aqua from the Dark Thorn in the ballroom, but that had been at low personal risk. Vanitas would never admit it to her, but she had already whittled the bestial Heartless’s defensives down tremendously by the time he had arrived. In fact, if she hadn’t been on the verge of collapse, he would’ve just let her deal with it on her own.

Was she being nice out of some misguided sense of gratitude? Or maybe…

Vanitas picked up his helmet and stared at his reflection. Was it the face? Was having a human face what was making Aqua treat him so nicely? If she thought she saw similarities to Ventus —or worse, _Sora—_ then she might simply be letting her longing for her friends cloud her better judgement.

That may explain her kindness towards him, but not his towards her.

He ran his fingers over the mask’s glassy surface, summoning wispy tendrils of Darkness to repair the scratches that had been inflicted by the thorns. Aqua’s screams had drawn his attention, and in a rush of adrenaline and panic he had charged out to rescue her. The vines had been tearing him apart, yet despite the pain Vanitas had pressed onwards. Regardless of how much he hated Aqua, he hadn’t wanted to lose her. 

Was the fear of being alone really strong enough to be worth risking his life? If it had been anyone else —well, perhaps besides Ventus— he would’ve said no. But Aqua… His interest in her had started long before the Dark World.

He traced where her fingertips had brushed his helmet before, in Radiant Garden. It had been the first time he’d ever been touched by a human being, and he had laughed out of shock. That she was brave —or _stupid—_ enough to approach him had shocked him too. She had wanted to know what he looked like. 

If he had let her, if she had seen his face, would she have still thought he was a monster back then? Would she have still called him a freak?

Did it matter?

Vanitas had intended to kill Aqua in Radiant Garden, on Master Xehanort’s orders. However, he’d been too impressed by her strength to kill her. He had known he was disobeying Xehanort by keeping her alive, but had thought if the plan with Ventus fell through, Aqua could serve as a suitable replacement. At least, that was what Vanitas had convinced himself at the time. He wondered now if that had simply been an excuse to spare her.

The truth was, Aqua had stirred something within him, awakened some deep new emotion he couldn’t identify. It was a strange desire, not unlike Hunger, but one he’d known no way of satiating. It had been the touch of her Light and the strength of her heart that had triggered it. Other’s Lights simply hadn’t compared to hers, not even Cinderella’s. Ventus’s Light was pure, warm, and familiar, but had been too weak to forge the X-Blade. Eraqus’s Light had been a sharp, sterile scent that stung his nose even at a distance. But Aqua… 

Aqua’s Light was a blazing fire in his veins that seared his lungs and pierced burning needles through his heart, but beneath all that was something so bright and beautiful that it was worth the pain; an irresistible sweet scent like Rose Honey and Cotton Cloudcandy, Crystal Sugar and Rainbow Syrup, with just a hint of Cherryberry topped off with Whipped Dream.

It had been _intoxicating,_ and Vanitas had craved it like nothing short of the X-Blade.

Vanitas had asked Master Xehanort to help him understand the unfamiliar desire, but the old man had just laughed and told him not to harbor those kind of feelings if he could help it. Xehanort had then commanded Vanitas to make sure that he killed Aqua the next time they met, lest the emotion distract him from his mission.

Well, his mission was long over. He’d had the chance to kill her in Never Land when she was unconscious and vulnerable. By that point Ventus had been strong enough to forge the X-Blade; Aqua wasn’t needed as a backup. But the strange Hunger had stirred then, too. With it had been the desire to see Aqua hone her skills and grow more powerful; the stronger she became, the sweeter her Light’s flavor. 

She had become his _weakness._

Vanitas should’ve killed her on that offense alone, but then he would have never tasted that sweet Light again. Suffice to say, he hadn’t obeyed orders then, either. If he had, then the X-Blade wouldn’t have been broken and he wouldn’t be trapped in the Realm of Darkness. He had failed. 

And yet… 

Lying here in a soft bed after a warm meal, bathed in Aqua’s sweet scent, Vanitas didn’t quite feel like a failure.

It seemed now that while Aqua’s Light shone as bright as ever, both its painful and addictive qualities had lessened over time. Perhaps her constant close proximity had acclimated him to her scent. Nevertheless, the Hunger still lingered. 

If her Light was no longer the source of the unidentifiable emotion, then what was?

…Maybe that was a question for another day.

Vanitas’s mask was now fully repaired, the dark glass as shiny and new as the day he had been born. He turned it in his hands and contemplated his reflection once again. 

Misplaced gratitude, or a human face…? Whatever Aqua’s reason for saving his life, misguided or not, he would take it. As for his saving her…

Perhaps a small part of him —the part that had defied Xehanort in the first place— still wanted to keep her around.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

It hadn’t fully sunk in yet. She and Vanitas had almost _died._  Two hours ago, Aqua had thought he was trying to _kill_ her. Two hours ago, she hadn’t even known he had a _face._ Yet here she was, fetching soup for him like he was Ven sick in bed with chocobo pox. Maybe it was the adrenaline. 

She chased a curious Shadow away from the soup pot and ladled more into the bowl, running a towel over the messy edges. Aqua was shocked Vanitas liked her soup so much, or at least he seemed to. He’d certainly wolfed it down fast enough. It was just a simple broth, thrown together from what random ingredients she had found in the pantry. She hadn’t had time to go searching for a cookbook. 

Vanitas’s Curaga high wouldn’t last long, and its effects were less and less potent the more the spell was used, but it was nice to see him actually smile for once. With the mask, Aqua hadn’t truly believed that Vanitas and Ventus could’ve come from the same person. But seeing him without it, she had to admit there were similarities. Once she got past the mess of dark spiky hair that reminded her so much of Sora, she could see how similar he looked to Ventus. Of course, Sora was already the spitting image of Ven, so of course Vanitas would look nearly identical to both.

Though she had seen his face earlier, it had been twisted by confusion and anger, so different from how peaceful Vanitas had looked as he slept. His face was youthfully round, large golden eyes hidden behind heavy lids and thick lashes. The cut on his cheek had faded with her Curaga spell, leaving no mark on the delicate pale skin that looked completely untouched by sunlight…

Aqua shook herself. Maybe she was on a bit of a Curaga high, too. Vanitas had reminded her of Ventus’s early days in the Land of Departure, when he had slept for so long that she feared he would never wake. She had fed Ven in bed, too. Spongecake was the first thing she’d gotten him to eat. A part of her warned against becoming too attached to Vanitas; he wasn’t a substitute for Ven. He was everything Ventus wasn’t, and vice versa. Night and day. Darkness and Light. The Darkness Xehanort had cut out of Ventus’s heart.

_Xehanort._ The more Aqua learned of the old Master, the more she hated him. It wasn’t enough that he had corrupted Terra and hurt Ven; he couldn’t even treat his own apprentice with a modicum of common decency. Xehanort had starved Vanitas, and his reasons for not teaching him healing magic sounded more than a little nefarious. 

_‘Lessons don’t stick if you can’t feel pain.’_

What kind of lesson required _pain_ to be remembered?

Aqua returned to the bedroom to find Vanitas staring intently at his mask. His face had regained a little color, though he still remained deathly pale compared to her. He looked up as she entered and set the mask aside. Would he keep wearing it even though she’d already seen his face? Aqua hoped not. He looked much better without it. Friendlier; more human.

Vanitas accepted the soup bowl with both hands; Aqua was careful to avoid touching his fingers. For whatever reason he didn’t seem to like being touched. As she watched him eat, Aqua considered everything Vanitas had done the past five days. Yes, he had attacked and insulted her at almost every opportunity, but he’d also saved her from the vines and the giant Heartless in the ballroom. Both times Vanitas could’ve let her die, but chose not to, even at great personal risk. And then there was the other time she had been at his mercy, and yet he had spared her life…

“Vanitas, when we fought in Never Land, there was something I never quite understood. After our duel, I collapsed. But when I woke up, you were gone. So why…?”

Vanitas slowly set down his spoon. “You mean, why didn’t I kill you?”

Aqua nodded.

“…I don’t think I ever really wanted to kill you.” He stared into his soup bowl. “Hurt you, make you suffer, sure.”

“That… doesn’t exactly make me feel better, Vanitas.”

“It should,” he said sharply. “Xehanort wanted you dead. He thought you’d get in the way of his plans; he was right, of course. Keeping you alive was my choice, not his.”

She frowned. “It sure seemed like you were trying to kill me in the Keyblade Graveyard.”

“Trust me, I hesitated there, too,” he rubbed the back of his neck, still not meeting her eyes. “Although, you were kinda unconscious for that part. I was actually kinda relieved when Ventus stood up to fight. The idiot wanted to protect you.”

Aqua felt mixed emotions from that. Unsureness of Vanitas’s truthfulness, irritation at remembering how he had literally stabbed her in the back, but mostly she felt proud of Ven for being so brave. 

But something still didn’t make any sense. “If I wasn’t a part of Xehanort’s plan, then why did you want me as a ‘backup’?” She suddenly remembered he had called her that in Radiant Garden, the first time they’d met. He’d also said it a few days ago, in the kitchen.

A shadow passed over his face. “…I told you before that the X-Blade could only be forged by clashing equal powers of pure Darkness and Light,” Vanitas said with reluctance.

Aqua froze as a feeling of dread crept over her.

_He can’t mean…_

“So I figured if Ventus couldn’t get strong enough in time, then maybe, since you had already proved so much stronger than I’d expected, you would be a better candidate.”

Aqua felt as if she had been doused with ice water. Vanitas wanted to possess her like he had Ventus? Is that why he had saved her? He still needed her to forge the X-Blade?

Vanitas must’ve sensed her alarm, because he quickly met her gaze and said, “Don’t worry, I don’t plan on doing that now. Besides, your heart isn’t even pure Light. No one’s is, except for Ventus and the Princesses. At the time I thought you’d be close enough; your Light is _very_ strong. But if Ventus and I couldn’t do it, well…”

Aqua was relieved to hear that, but couldn’t help her own morbid curiosity. “If we did merge, would it be like what happened to Ven?” she asked, shuddering at the memory of Ventus with those piercing yellow eyes and a psychotic grin spread across his face, his voice twisted in a demonic chorus…

“That union was incomplete.” Vanitas looked away again. “Honestly, I’m not sure what would happen if you and I became one, if that’s even possible. Maybe our hearts would reject each other. Maybe our personalities would merge. Maybe I’d finally become whole…”

“You want to be… whole?” she asked slowly.

Vanitas frowned, looking more and more uncomfortable. “I told you. Ventus and I are each half of a heart. As in, our heart was _literally torn in two._ Ventus was lucky that Sor— someone healed him, but as for me…” He sighed. “I wouldn’t expect you to know what it felt like. What it _still_ feels like.”

Vanitas was right of course; Aqua didn’t have any idea what it was like to have one’s heart torn apart. It sounded more dreadful than she wanted to imagine. But she _did_ want to understand, even just a little.

“What does it feel like?” she whispered.

The moment stretched on, Vanitas clenching his hands into tight fists. Finally he answered, choking on the words. _“Pure agony,_ every moment that I exist.” 

_He’s… in pain? All the time?_

“Vanitas…” She felt as if her own heart might break in two.

“I want the pain to stop…” His golden eyes met hers, and she swore he was on the verge of tears. “But I don’t wanna disappear. That’s why I _need_ the other half of my heart. Do you understand?”

_Disappear?_ Did he mean, that without Ventus, the only other option he had to escape his pain was… to _die?_ Her own eyes started to moisten. In a way, she had caused this. By destroying the X-Blade, Aqua had interrupted Ventus and Vanitas’s union. But she couldn’t regret her actions now. If Vanitas had succeeded in merging with Ventus, then her best friend would be gone forever, rather than just sleeping. Merging her own heart with Vanitas was also out of the question. She was her own person, as was he. An idea struck her.

“Maybe the reason your merge failed is because you and Ventus have become separate people,” she said thoughtfully. “You and Ven are very different, and even though you used to be the same person, you aren’t anymore. So maybe you should give yourself the chance to be your own person.”

Vanitas’s face took on a pleading, lost look. “You really think I can go on being just half a heart forever?” He sounded so desperate.

“I can’t be your Light, Vanitas,” Aqua said gently. “And neither can Ven. But if there’s any other way I can help ease your pain, will you let me?” She didn’t know exactly what she could do, but she would try her best to think of something.

Vanitas stared at her, eyes wide with disbelief. “Shit, you really are serious about helping me, aren’t you. I don’t get it. I’ve hurt you. I’m part of the reason why your friends are gone. So why…?” 

Everything he said was true, but it didn’t deter Aqua from her decision. “Because, I don’t want you to disappear, either. You risked your life to save me, even though you didn’t have to.” For the first time, she smiled at him. “Vanitas… thank you.”

Several emotions flitted across his face in rapid succession. For a second, she thought he would reject her gratitude, but his expression finally settled on a shy, lopsided smile. An odd look on his face to be sure, but not an unwelcome one.

“Also, I never thanked you properly for saving me from that giant Heartless,” she said.

He tilted his head. “The Dark Thorn? That was nothing.”

“Not to me.” Aqua’s smile broke out into a grin. “The least I could do is teach you some proper healing magic, so you won’t ask me to —ahem— _‘drag your sorry butt around the next time you collapse’.”_

Vanitas blinked. “Y-yeah. Sure,” he said, picking up the spoon again. After he finished off the rest of the soup, Vanitas eyed her thoughtfully. “You know, you should really get out of those clothes.”

_“E-excuse me?”_ she squeaked.

“I mean, unless you wanna run around wearing tattered rags all day.”

Aqua looked down at herself and realized what he meant. Her outfit really was in shreds. Bloodstained, too. “R-right, I’ll go do that…” She got up to leave, taking the tray.

“Hey, Aqua?”

“Yes?”

“…I guess you’re not a complete idiot, after all.”

She raised an eyebrow. “That’s your idea of a compliment?”

Vanitas shrugged and gave her a mischievous smirk. “I don’t have a lot of experience giving them out.”

Aqua shook her head, but she was still smiling.

_Not a complete idiot, huh?_

Well. It was a start.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Aqua… had _thanked_ him.

No one had ever thanked him before. There was a fascinating emotion building in Vanitas’s chest, one he had never experienced. It was so feather-light and warm… Part of him wished he could let it out to see what kind of Unversed took shape, but it was impossible to create the Dark creatures out of positive emotions. Besides, he’d rather keep the feeling inside, snug within his heart for as long as he could.

Despite the wonderful emotion, Vanitas was still suspicious. For some incomprehensible reason Aqua wanted to help him beyond what she’d already done. If she had only saved him in exchange for saving her, then why would she want to do that? Did she hope to gain something in return, have him owe her some kind of favor?

He snorted. Aqua wasn’t _that_ crafty, was she? Maybe she really was just that selfless. It was a foolish notion, selflessness; but it seemed inherent to Wielders of Light.

Vanitas got up to stretch his legs. Stopping by the window, he stared out into the darkness. The Curaga was finally working its way out of his system, and it left his thoughts troubled. What Aqua had said, about him and Ventus not just being the separated halves of a single heart anymore, but rather two different people altogether…

While Vanitas had to admit there was a _possibility_ that he and Ventus had become so different as to be incompatible, it wasn’t an idea he wanted to entertain. Sure, it was he who had said he and Ventus were opposites, but it was like being opposite sides of a coin. The halves were supposed to fit together. 

No, the reason they couldn’t merge was because of the blockage, because of _Sora._

Once Vanitas returned to the Realm of Light, he could ‘remove’ that problem, and afterwards… Well, he hadn’t planned that far ahead.

There was a larger problem, however; the location of Ventus. Aqua knew where he was, but that was information she wouldn’t be so eager to divulge. She said she wanted to help him, but what else could Aqua possibly do? Even if she offered her heart to him willingly, he knew it wouldn’t be enough.

_Idiot. Why would she help you? You’re on your own. That’s the way it’s meant to be._

Merging would only be successful with Ventus, and only once Sora was gone. Aqua wouldn’t help him. Not with this. Vanitas had no way of reaching the Realm of Light, and no way of finding Ventus. 

_What the hell am I supposed to do now?_

The last of the Curaga slipped away, leaving him numb.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Aqua searched through the wardrobe for a clean outfit, but was having little luck finding suitable attire. Most of the women’s clothing consisted of fancy dresses. Would she be able to fight properly in them? Aqua did a double-take as she pulled out a headband with two large black circles complete with a red-and-white polkadot bow, which bore a uncanny resemblance to Queen Minnie’s ears. How did this even get here…?

She finally settled on keeping most of her original outfit, trading her unsalvageable sleeves for white fingerless evening gloves, exchanging her bloodstained fabric wraps for a short blue skirt complete with a white belt, and replacing her tattered black stockings with a fresh pair. Discarding the ruined pieces of clothing into a wastebasket, Aqua found herself sad to see them go. She had designed and sewed most of her outfit herself.

Aqua readjusted the pink chest straps over her black corset, her silver pendant glittering in the candlelight. She traced across the hairline fracture Vanitas’s Keyblade had caused. Despite all the evils he had committed, she didn’t regret saving him. That look on his face, the mixture of bewilderment and wonder, the unsure yet genuine smile… It was as if no one had ever shown him kindness in his entire life. Given who had raised him, that unfortunately wasn’t surprising.

_Well then, I guess I’ll just have to be the first one._

The next morning, Aqua was determined to teach Vanitas Curaga, or at least a simple Cure spell. He needed to be able to heal himself, especially if she were to become indisposed. Aqua decided the courtyard was as good a place as any. She still needed to clean the glass and blood out of the ballroom where his mask had shattered, and honestly being attacked twice in that room had left her a little wary. 

Aqua sent a Fire spell across the chasm towards Castle Town. It illuminated the area enough for her to see that the red vines had stayed on their side of the pit, and while they did twitch a little where the Fire came near them, they otherwise remained still. 

It was funny, Aqua thought. After the incident with the vines, the tension between her and Vanitas —which had grown so thick the last few days— had disappeared. The giddiness she’d sensed from him had faded too, but he was being noticeably less rude and though he was now wearing his helmet, he had removed the visor so she could see his face.

Vanitas now sat on the stone edge of the pool in the courtyard, watching her warily as she carefully set a kitchen knife down between them. Ready to begin the magic lesson, Aqua easily slipped into what Ven called her ‘teacher voice’. 

“Healing magic, including spells such as Curaga and Esuna, is cast from Light and positivity. As such—”

“Well of course I can’t use Cure, then!” Vanitas interrupted loudly. “I don’t have any Light.”

“Vanitas, pay attention. I’m sure you can cast it without Light.” Honestly she _wasn’t_ sure that was true, but it wouldn’t hurt to have him try. Aqua cleared her throat. “…As such, you need to focus on positive emotions while spell-casting. This can be difficult in the heat of battle, so you should practice outside of combat to prepare yourself. To learn Cure, it’s easiest to have an injury to focus on healing.”

Vanitas swiftly scooped up the knife. For one terrifying second, Aqua thought he was going to stab her, but instead he sliced it across his own palm.

“What are you doing?!” she gasped in horror.

He raised an eyebrow. “Would you rather I break a finger?”

_“No!”_

_What in the Worlds is wrong with him?!_

“That’s not what I meant! You could cause permanent nerve damage doing that!” She reached towards his bloody hand but he growled and pulled away, brandishing the knife.

_Right, no touching…_

Aqua held up her hands in a placative gesture. “Vanitas,” she said as calmly as she could manage, eyeing the knife. “I’m not going to touch you; just put the knife down.”

His eyes narrowed suspiciously before he flipped it over and handed it to her handle-first. 

Aqua took it gingerly. “Thank you. May I cast Cure on you now?”

Vanitas nodded.

She did so, the twinkling green energy flowing from her hand to envelop his body. Casting Cure over him in general wouldn’t be as effective as applying the spell directly to the wound, but she was learning it was best to keep her distance. 

Quickly washing off the knife in the pool, Aqua took a calming breath and continued the lesson. “As I was saying, the best way is to have a _small_ injury to focus on healing.” She brought up the knife and pricked the end of her finger, ignoring the faint sting as she squeezed out a tiny drop of blood. “Here, try casting Cure on me.”

After a moment’s hesitation, Vanitas hovered his hand above hers and squeezed his eyes shut perhaps a little too tightly.

“You’re concentrating too much. Don’t try to chase down the magic. Rather, let the magic come to you,” Aqua explained.

“How the hell does that make any sense?” he scowled, eyes still closed. “I can’t use magic if I’m not trying, now can I?”

“I mean, just let it flow freely.”

Vanitas clenched and unclenched his hand, but nothing happened. Not even sparks. He sighed in frustration and opened his eyes. “This is stupid.”

“Vanitas, if you want to use Cure, you need to focus more on positivity.”

“If you haven’t noticed, id— Aqua, I’m a _heart of pure Darkness._ I don’t _have_ any positivity.” 

She ignored his near-insult. “Even though you don’t have any Light, you must be positive about _something,_ right?”

“I’m positive this is stupid.”

Aqua sighed. She needed a different approach. “Try using happy memories. That helped me learn Cure.”

“What happy memories?” Vanitas scoffed.

“Uh, well…” She didn’t know him well enough to give examples. Although, they _were_ both Wielders… “How about when you first summoned your Keyblade?”

“My Keyblade…?”

“Yes!” Aqua smiled. “Were you excited? Joyful?”

He frowned as his eyes turned distant. “I was… scared. And… confused.”

Her smile faltered. “W-why…?”

“It was right after Ventus and I were split.”

“Oh.” She didn’t know what to say to that. Did Vanitas really not have _any_ happy memories? 

Vanitas continued to concentrate on the spell, but was becoming visibly irritated. “This is hopeless!” he finally shouted, tearing at his hair. A gaggle of Shoegazers hopped out of him and started stomping around. 

Aqua jumped up and readied Master Keeper, but the red boot-shaped Unversed were ignoring her. “Vanitas! You can’t keep flying off the handle every time something doesn’t go your way!” she shouted.

“Maybe we should just spar instead.” He summoned his Keyblade. 

Aqua stepped back, tightening her grip on Master Keeper. “Calm down! We can’t just spar whenever you want. In fact, that was something I wanted to discuss with you. We need to lay down some ground rules.”

“What rules?” he snapped.

“You need to warn me the next time you want to spar, rather than just attacking me out of the blue.”

“I’d lose the element of surprise.”

It was Aqua’s turn to scowl. “You’d lose your _head._ Besides, it’s not fair.”

“I never said I fought fair,” he smirked. “So, can we spar now?”

“No,” she said firmly.

“Why not?” Vanitas frowned. “I thought you were supposed to be helping me. It would help me to spar.”

“Why?”

“It’s… fun,” he mumbled with a slight flush.

“Well, it wasn’t fun for me.” Far from it. “I’m telling you no, and that’s final.”

Vanitas glared at her. “Fine, whatever.” He dismissed his Keyblade.

Once she was sure he had settled down, Aqua unsummoned Master Keeper. “Let’s just go back to practicing Cure.”

“Forget it, Aqua,” he shook his head. “I can’t do it. I wasn’t _designed_ to use Light magic any more than you can use Dark. The Light’s never listened to me before; why would it start now?”

Aqua frowned. Maybe it _was_ impossible for Vanitas to use Light magic. Still, it wouldn’t do for her to be a pessimist. “…It’s okay to not succeed on your first try. Terra took forever to—”

“Oh, great. I’m as good as _Terra._ Like that’s not humiliating,” he interrupted hotly. A Red Hot Chili materialized behind him and tumbled into the pool, resulting in hot steam and boiling water as the Unversed disintegrated. Vanitas hissed and grit his teeth. Had some of the hot water splashed on him?

“Are you alright?” Aqua asked.

“Do I _look_ alright to you?!” he spat.

Aqua missed giddy Vanitas already. She considered casting Curaga on him just to calm him down, but shot him a withering look of disappointment instead. His eyes widened a fraction before he lowered his gaze and mumbled something that sounded like ‘I didn’t mean to yell’.

They might have to work on apologies later.

“Let me see where you got hurt,” she insisted gently.

Vanitas blinked at her like he didn’t understand. “It’s not the kinda injury you can heal.”

Did it have something to do with the pain in his heart? Aqua supposed she wouldn’t have noticed him reacting to any sort of chronic pain seeing as he wore that mask all the time. _‘Pure agony’_ was how Vanitas had described the state of his heart.

Aqua wasn’t even sure _she_ had enough positivity for a Cure spell, now.

“Just help me clean up these idiots,” Vanitas sighed, standing up from the pool’s edge. He stomped down hard on a Shoegazer’s toe, pinning it under his boot. The Unversed squealed and struggled, far too much like a trapped animal for Aqua’s taste. She once again found herself wondering if Dark creatures could feel pain. 

Vanitas swung his Keyblade down on the Unversed, but it blocked his attack with its sharp horns. Growling, Vanitas pushed harder against the Shoegazer, snapping its horns and sinking his Keyblade between its eyes. He twisted the Keyblade and wrenched it free, spraying black ichor across the ground as the Unversed melted.

“Is it okay for you to kill them like that?” Aqua asked worriedly. “I mean, you created them from your emotions…”

“Why do you care?” he scowled. “They’re just monsters.”

“I don’t know, it just seems… cruel.”

Vanitas’s expression darkened. “You don’t know the first thing about cruelty.”

“…No, I suppose I don’t,” she said quietly.

Aqua set to work clearing out the Shoegazers, but her mind still wandered. Something about Vanitas’s callous torture of the Unversed made Aqua uneasy. Of course, he knew more about them than she did. Maybe they really couldn’t feel pain. Even so, she felt like she was getting a clearer picture of Vanitas’s mind, and it wasn’t pretty.

Ventus had been in a coma for a long time when he first arrived at the Land of Departure, and had been like a zombie for weeks after he first woke up. Had Vanitas been the same way, after the split? At least Ven had had her, Terra, and Master Eraqus to help him. Xehanort, who wouldn’t even _feed_ Vanitas, likely wouldn’t have helped him much at all. Was Vanitas’s penchant for casual violence —both towards himself and those around him— something inherent to his Dark nature? Or had it been taught by Xehanort, whether purposefully or through neglect? Aqua didn’t know what to think. 

Aqua pierced through the last Shoegazer’s defenses, dispatching the Unversed as quickly as possible. She and Vanitas were alone in the courtyard once again.

“I think I’ll stick to Vile Phials,” he sighed, flopping down on the pool’s stone edge.

_I guess the lesson is over, then…_

“I’m going to go make lunch,” she informed him. “Do you… want to help?”

Vanitas shot her a forlorn look and shook his head.

Aqua tried to hide her disappointment; she hadn’t really expected him to accept her offer, anyway. “Well, alright then. I’ll see you later.”

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Vanitas remained seated on the pool’s edge for a while. The concern Aqua had shown over the death of his Red Hot Chili was the exact reason why he wore a mask; Vanitas knew he should’ve kept his visor on. If she knew his weakness, that killing the Unversed hurt him, she might one day turn that knowledge against him.

_She thinks you’re pathetic._

Anger flared in his chest. Aqua was just teaching him healing magic to show him what he could never have, probably just to laugh behind his back. Her whole tone had been condescending. What did she know? She was supposed to be the great Keyblade Master, yet she couldn’t even teach the simplest of spells. This was _her_ fault, not his. _Aqua_ was the weak one.

The oily feeling of Contempt produced a chittering Spiderchest which shook and danced in front of him. Vanitas glowered at the Unversed and it scuttled off on its awkward three-legged gait to find somewhere to hide. Maybe it would bite Aqua’s hand off. That would serve her right. 

Vanitas grimaced. The mental image of Aqua permanently disfigured wasn’t nearly as amusing as he thought it would be. Maybe he should’ve killed that Unversed, after all. At least Aqua knew better than to mess with oversized blue treasure chests.

He dug the heels of his palms into his eyes and took a steadying breath. Constant mood swings were useful when he’d been required to produce a large variety of Unversed. Now they just made him feel sick and confused.

Aqua hadn’t been laughing at his failure, and she definitely wasn’t weak. She’d given him enough ass-kickings for _that_ lesson to sink in. Vanitas almost wished she _had_ been mocking him; that he could understand. No, she had been _disappointed_ in him. Aqua thought he was too much of a loser to learn how to heal himself properly, since he couldn’t use Light magic like she could. What could he say; unlike her, he was no magical prodigy.

Vanitas stood up and walked to the edge of the cliffside. Not much remained past the courtyard gate. The path back to Castle Town had been swallowed up into the chasm thanks to the vines. He was suddenly struck by how Hopeless their situation really was. There was no way back to Castle Town nor the Realm of Light. It was quite possible that he and Aqua would spend the rest of their lives in the Castle of Dreams.

Moping probably wouldn’t make casting Cure any easier, however. He let the emotion out, just so he wouldn’t have to feel it. A Blue Sea Salt wobbled to life in a burst of ice magic that quite literally chilled him to the bone. Shivering, Vanitas considered the pot-shaped Unversed as it hovered in the air, its eerie blue light casting shadows on the grass. Elemental pot-shaped Unversed could levitate a meter or two off the ground, but weren’t capable of true flight. If they fell far or fast enough that they couldn’t right themselves, they would smash against the ground.

He grabbed the Sea Salt around the middle, ignoring its almost burning coldness, and tossed it down the chasm. The blue light became little more than a twinkling star as it fell deeper and deeper until it finally disappeared into the darkness. Vanitas listened closely for the sound of it smashing —or what was more likely— the pain of it as it died, but nothing happened. Either the Unversed had righted itself, or the pit was very, very deep, if not completely bottomless. 

_How the hell are we supposed to get out of here?_

_…Wait a second, ‘we’?_

Vanitas startled himself, realizing that he was including Aqua in his thoughts of escape. 

He looked at his palm where Aqua had healed him. The Dark Suit’s fabric had already stitched over the area. His hand felt tingly, not as good as it had from the Curaga, but still much better than his Vile Phials’ Dark healing magic. Vanitas wanted that good feeling back, the warmth Aqua’s Curaga spell had given him. If he was going to prove to her that he wasn’t weak, that he was better than her stupid friends, Vanitas would have to practice.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Half an hour and several failed attempts at Cure later, the rumbling in his stomach finally prompted Vanitas to venture to the kitchen. He had taken to avoiding Aqua whenever he went there to eat on account of not wanting to show her his face, but it was a little late for that now.

Approaching the kitchen, Vanitas could hear a loud banging and rattling coming from inside. It sounded as if the Heartless were having a jamboree. He walked in to find Aqua busily rooting through cabinets. A cookbook was splayed out on the counter and something was sizzling in a pan on the stovetop.

“Is there any soup left?” he asked.

“Hmm?” Aqua seemed distracted. “Oh, it’s in the icebox. But I need the stove.”

Vanitas looked at the large amount of ingredients she had piled on the kitchen counter. Some were already chopped and mixed into bowls. “You’re gonna eat all this by yourself?”

“It’s for both of us. I figured you might enjoy a home-cooked meal since no one’s…” She trailed off and cleared her throat. “We haven’t shared a single meal together.”

Was this because he’d told her Xehanort hadn’t fed him? He knew he should’ve kept his big mouth shut. “I told you, I can take care of myself.”

“It’s okay to have help sometimes,” Aqua said, giving the pan a stir. “Speaking of which, can you set the table for me? The big one, in the dining hall.” She waved towards a number of plates and utensils piled on the counter. Vanitas stared dumbly at the pile of silverware. How exactly did she want them? He thought about asking Aqua for help, but no. This was a chance to prove himself.

The dining hall was rather large, though not as big as the ballroom. A long table of about twenty seats sat before a large fireplace. Vanitas placed everything on the table in what he hoped was a proper arrangement; plates, bowls, knives —he’d noticed Aqua staring at him warily when he picked those up— forks, and an empty glass for each of them.

He returned to the kitchen. Aqua was pouring over the cookbook again. Vanitas moved in for a closer look. “I’ve never seen anyone cook before. So people really eat all these different foods?” He had to admit, he was rather curious.

“What do you usually eat?” Aqua asked.

“Prize Pod food,” he answered. Vanitas had a particular taste for Rich Marshmallows when he could get them.

She frowned. “That doesn’t sound very nutritious.”

What was she, his _mom?_ “I eat other things occasionally. You wouldn’t believe how many people leave their kitchen windows unlocked.”

“You shouldn’t steal. It’s wrong,” Aqua chided.

Vanitas actually laughed at that. _“Stealing?_ Oh, you mean like what you’re doing right now?” He smirked at the irony.

“...That’s different.”

“Oh, please. Just admit it. Everyone does what they have to to survive. Lie, steal, kill. Even animals do it.”

When Vanitas was older, and Master Xehanort was in a good mood, he would take Vanitas to different Worlds to teach him about the cruelty of nature. He’d called it proof that Darkness was intrinsic to all Worlds. Vanitas couldn’t have cared less about Xehanort’s pedantries, but he had gotten a rush from seeing the violence of nature. Hounds tearing foxes to pieces for the sport of their masters; great, terrible lizards devouring each other in a thirsty desert; packs of hyenas giggling as they tore into rotten carcasses while hungry vultures circled above…

“We’re not animals,” Aqua huffed, bringing him out of his reverie. 

Vanitas snorted. “Look, if it makes you feel any better, all of the people who lived here have already had their hearts eaten.”

“How in the Worlds is that supposed to make me feel better?!” she asked, appalled. What, did he say something wrong?

“I’m just saying they’re not gonna miss a few scraps out of the icebox,” he explained in an attempt to placate her. “Plus, we’ve done nothing but steal this entire time. The food, your new clothes, practically the entire Castle! We’ve got this whole place to ourselves without any other idiots telling us what we can’t do.”

Aqua glared at him. Why was she getting so upset? He was just trying to cheer her up.

_Talk about unappreciation. Whatever…_

“I’m trying to do something nice for you, you know,” Aqua sighed.

Vanitas blinked in surprise. “Why?”

“I just thought it would help if we were a little less antagonistic towards each other. We’re going to have to work together to find a way out of here,” she said, elbowing past him to reach the oven. “Could you wait in the dining hall? You’re hovering.”

Vanitas didn’t particularly appreciate being kicked out of the kitchen. His irritation didn’t last long, however, as Aqua brought out steaming pans of food. He peered into them and was greeted with the sight of diced potatoes, a medley of steamed vegetables, and some kind of roasted meat. Everything smelled wonderful. Vanitas couldn’t hold in his excitement and grinned broadly. His first meal with another person… It almost made him feel like a real human being.

Aqua chuckled.

“What’s so funny?” he asked with mild suspicion.

She hummed thoughtfully. “I just don’t think I’ve ever seen you in such a good mood.”

“Huh?” He supposed he did feel good, or at least not bad. “I guess there’s a first time for everything,” he shrugged. “Although, can you really blame me? I _do_ get to eat all this, right?”

“Well, you have to save some for me,” Aqua said with an amused tone as she took her place across from him. 

Vanitas reached for the food but stopped at the odd ‘ahem’ noise she made. Aqua was looking at him expectantly. What, was she wanting him to say something?

“Oh, uh… Th-thanks,” he said. The word came out a bit awkwardly but seemed to satisfy her.

“You’re welcome,” she beamed.

They both dug in, or at least Aqua did. Vanitas was struggling with his fork.

“Do you need some help?” she asked. “Maybe a spoon—”

“I can do it just fine; I’m not a child,” he snapped. Vanitas finally had the utensil in a semi-comfortable grip and stabbed into a slice of meat, bringing it to his lips and taking a large bite. “See, I can handle it,” he mumbled around the food.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Aqua scolded.

“Why not?”

“It’s rude.”

“Whatever,” Vanitas said, though he did swallow before continuing. “When we get back to the Realm of Light, you can thank Master Xehanort for my manners.” Or lack there of.

Aqua suddenly went very quiet. “Xehanort wasn’t good to you, was he,” she whispered.

“That’s the understatement of the year,” Vanitas snorted. Did she seriously just figure that out? “Ventus idolized him, you know.”

_That_ definitely surprised her. Time to poke another hole in her ‘Ventus is perfect’ theory…

“Oh yes,” Vanitas continued. “Back then, Ventus would’ve done anything to please his Master, except he was too chickenshit when it came to the one task that actually mattered. It’s his fault Xehanort had to push the issue.”

“But you were more than willing,” Aqua said coldly. Looks like he’d struck a nerve.

“That’s right. Not that he would’ve gotten his precious X-Blade from me, either,” he smirked.

Her eyes widened. “Wait— You never intended on giving Xehanort the X-Blade, did you.”

“Of course not.” Vanitas rolled his eyes. “You act as though I actually liked the old bastard. No…” His tone turned venomous. _“I wanted to fucking kill him.”_

Aqua stared at him open-mouthed before sighing and closing her eyes. “Oh, Vanitas… Why didn’t you just run away? Surely you knew Xehanort was only using you.” Funny. It almost sounded as if she cared.

“Of course I knew that, but what else was I supposed to do? It was kinda hard to escape without Dark Corridors or a Keyblade Glider, and he only taught me the former later on. Besides, Xehanort would’ve found me eventually. All he’d have to do is follow the trail of Unversed.”

She seemed stumped by that.

“What other choice did I have?” Vanitas continued. “Xehanort offered salvation, the solution to making me whole. He was the only person in all the Worlds who knew of my existence, and if I’d revealed myself to you and your friends, you would’ve killed me in an instant. Light and Darkness don’t mix.”

Aqua bit her lip. “But… what about the two of us? What about right now?”

He blinked slowly and tilted his head. “Right now we’re just surviving together. Once we get out of here, we’ll just go right back to fighting each other.” Especially considering what he was going to do to Ventus.

“You really think that?” She almost sounded… hurt.

“That’s just how it is,” Vanitas shrugged. 

They continued eating in silence, or at least he did. Aqua just stared at her half-finished plate.

“Vanitas, I…”

“Yeah?”

“…Never mind,” she sighed. “I already checked the perimeter around the gardens before the path collapsed. There’s no other way out of the Castle.” 

“So we really are stuck down here,” he said, stabbing his fork into a potato cube perhaps a little too forcefully.

“It seems that way. Those vines reminded me of the ones Maleficent summoned in the Enchanted Dominion.”

“That old hag? You think she’s down here too?”

Aqua looked worried. “I guess anything’s possible…”

“There has to be some way out of here,” Vanitas grumbled. He didn’t want to fight any Dark fairies if he could help it. Especially not ones who could transform into dragons.

“We should split up and look around the Castle. We’ll cover more ground that way,” Aqua suggested.

Vanitas considered that. It would be more dangerous to explore individually, but it would be faster. The sooner they left the Realm of Darkness, the better.

“Alright. Let’s get to it.”

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Vanitas sat at the servants’ table in the kitchen, looking at nothing in particular and idly picking at the itchy fabric of his Dark Suit. Between searching for ways out of the Castle and practicing Cure, he had become tense and irritated after several wasted days and zero results. Killing Heartless could only do so much to stave off his perpetual boredom. 

Aqua walked in carrying a small wooden box. “Do you want to play a board game?” she asked cheerily.

“A bored game? Why would I wanna play something boring?” he asked, glancing over at her.

“No, a board like… this!” Aqua rummaged through the box and pulled out a rectangular game board with a black-and-white checkered pattern that immediately reminded him of Ventus’s stupid wristband. His eye twitched.

“Where’d you find that?” he asked.

“Storage closet,” she shrugged and dumped the rest of the box’s contents onto the table, the many black and white game pieces rolling over the surface. “The Master taught Terra, Ven, and I how to play shogi, but we always found Command Board much more fun. It’s too bad I lost my copy somewhere down here. I’m not exactly sure how to play chess,” Aqua said, examining an equine game piece.

“I could teach you,” Vanitas offered. It wasn’t as if he had anything better to do.

“What?”

He glanced up, noting her baffled expression. “I can play chess. Want me to teach you?”

“You know how to— Who taught you?” Aqua inquired.

“Who else?”

_“Xehanort_ taught you how to play _chess?_ Why in the Worlds would he do that?”

“I don’t know. Maybe he was bored, too,” he shrugged. “Said something about ‘improving my strategic abilities’, whatever _that_ means.” Vanitas wasn’t too sure how well that had turned out; he always lost.

Vanitas set up the chessboard, explaining each piece to Aqua, its name and how it moved. He lined up all the black pieces on his end and the white ones on hers. 

“White moves first, so go ahead,” he said.

Aqua picked up a pawn and hesitantly placed it two squares forward. 

“Don’t worry,” Vanitas grinned impishly, placing down his own pawn. “I’ll go easy on you.”

It became very obvious over the next hour that there was no need to ‘go easy’ on Aqua.

“Checkmate!” She smiled smugly, placing her queen in front of his trapped king.

Vanitas glared furiously at the offending piece of ivory. How the hell had she beaten him on her first try? Had she lied about never having played before? Or was he really just that stupid? Vanitas could feel the Bitterness and Spite poking up sharply through his skin, and he knew what was coming. Thornbites were some of the most unpleasant Unversed to create; he tried to not make them often. He bit the inside of his cheek in an effort to control himself. It was a painful habit he’d developed to help distract himself from his emotions, but it wasn’t working.

Vanitas stood suddenly, disrupting the chessboard. He only made it a few paces to the door before the Thornbite erupted from his spine. It twitched and lashed its thorny vines in Aqua’s direction. She jumped up, knocking into the table and summoning her Keyblade.

“What are you doing?!” Her tone was accusing.

“Calm down,” he growled, half at her and half at the prickly Unversed. Vanitas took ahold of its head, willing it to stop twitching through the mental connection he shared with all Unversed. He absorbed it into his hand, but one of the thorny whips slashed across his arm. Vanitas hissed as the razor-sharp spikes tore through fabric of his Dark Suit. Luckily it was only a scratch and would heal quickly.

“Why do you keep doing that?” Aqua asked sharply.

“I’m not doing it on purpose!” he protested. Whatever. It wasn’t like she would believe him, anyway.

_She still thinks you’re a monster._

Vanitas glanced at the disrupted chessboard. Only two pieces remained upright. The black king and white queen stood together, side by side, alone in the middle of the board. Somehow, they looked more like they belonged together than with their fallen compatriots. They completed each other. 

_What the hell am I thinking?_

Vanitas turned heel and strode from the kitchen, Aqua calling after him all the while. He only got as far as the foyer before she caught up with him.

“What do you want?” he snapped, sitting on the red steps. “Some kinda award? ‘Cause I ain’t got nothing except Unversed.”

“You just seem really upset,” Aqua said, sitting next to him.

He scooted away from her. “Congratulations, you can read facial expressions. Come to gloat at the loser?”

“Just because you lost doesn’t make you a loser,” she said with a slight frown.

“How the hell does that make any sense?” he scoffed. “I’m an idiot, clearly. I lost to you on your first match.”

Aqua’s eyes softened. “You’re not an idiot, Vanitas. A bit impulsive, maybe. You don’t really seem to plan ahead.”

Oh Vanitas had a plan. He’d had plenty of plans. Sure, none of them had succeeded so far… yet.

“‘Cause I’m an idiot,” he insisted.

“No you’re not. You’re very intelligent.”

Vanitas snorted. “Aqua, don’t insult me. Your best friend is Terra. That’s not a high bar.”

That was apparently the wrong thing to say because the pity in Aqua’s eyes was immediately replaced by irritation. “You can’t keep calling my friends stupid,” she said hotly.

“I can and I will,” he growled. “They’re both idiots, _especially_ Terra! I’m the one who’s kept you safe this whole time; they couldn’t even save themselves!”

Where the hell had _that_ come from? It’s not like he was in some kind of competition with her friends.

Aqua’s anger abated as suddenly as it had arrived, but in its place her blue eyes were full of questions; never a good sign. “Why do you hate Terra so much?”

Vanitas blinked. Why _did_ he hate Terra, other than him being slow in every sense of the word? He hadn’t even spoken to Xehanort’s chosen vessel. It was Terra who Vanitas had used to lure Ventus away from the Land of Departure. The potential of losing his best friend had been Ventus’s incentive to leave home. Was friendship really that important? It seemed like a waste of time to Vanitas, to be that invested in another person.

Terra had been the one to comfort Ventus whenever the loser couldn’t handle a nightmare. Terra was the one who had given Ventus a special gift, the wooden Keyblade he’d carved with his very own hands, the one which Vanitas had snapped with his. Whenever Ventus was with Terra, a trickle of the older boy’s warmth and Light and friendship would make its way into Vanitas’s broken heart just long enough for him to taste it, but slip away too quickly to be savored.

Terra had given Ventus what Vanitas could never have.

“…‘Cause he was the one Ventus was closest to,” he whispered.

Aqua opened and closed her mouth, as if unsure of how to respond. “How would you… _know_ something like that?” she finally asked.

Vanitas didn’t like this line of questioning one bit. He’d been frustrated all day, but his irritation was turned more towards himself and his current situation than at Aqua. He was beginning to feel like he had back in the Badlands, when he’d taken his anger out on himself via the Unversed. Vanitas needed a different outlet, but the Heartless had stopped being fun ages ago and he wasn’t allowed to fight Aqua anymore.

_Since when do you follow her rules?_

_…Shut up._

Ventus and Terra made for better targets, anyway; they couldn’t talk back. Through his other half, Vanitas had vicariously learned how much those two idiots truly didn’t deserve Aqua; she was better than them in every conceivable way. Why the hell would she want be friends with those losers… Unless it was just because they were her fellow apprentices, and she’d had no other options?

Vanitas shook his head. “Why are you even friends with those two? You’re way smarter than both of them, Aqua. Stronger too. What made you stick around?”

Aqua sighed. “Smarts and strength have nothing to do with it. I’m friends with them because we like each other.”

“Really? The only reason I kept you around was _‘cause_ of your strength.” Vanitas realized a second too late he’d put his foot in his mouth.

“…Really,” she deadpanned, crossing her arms. “I’m pretty sure it’s because I kicked your butt.”

“You did not!” he objected. Okay, sure; maybe she _had_ given him an ass-kicking he’d never forget, but there was no reason to _tell_ her that.

“Did too,” she argued back, a slight smiled tugging at her lips.

“Did _not!”_

“Did _too.”_

_“No!”_

Aqua laughed, a warm, tinkling sound that echoed across the foyer. It would have been pleasant if it hadn’t been directed at him. She was mocking him; laughing just like Xehanort had when he’d watched Vanitas crawl on the dry, cracked ground of the Badlands in a puddle of his own sweat and tears as the horde of never-ending Unversed spawned from his suffering body. Laughing at his agony just to let him know how pathetic and empty and _worthless_ he was.

His face flushed with embarrassment. _“Stop laughing at me!”_ Vanitas practically screamed. He knew he was being childish but he couldn’t stop the Humiliation from flopping out of him as a warren of white Hareraisers.

Aqua shut up when she saw the Unversed. “Vanitas? I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to upset you. You just reminded me of…”

“Let me guess. Terra?” He kicked one of the leporine Unversed, which squeaked in protest.

She frowned. “Ven, actually.” 

Not that that was much better…

“We would get into playful little arguments like that all the time.” Aqua bit her lip. She looked… sad.

“…You really miss those losers, don’t you.” Vanitas had missed Ventus too, back in the Badlands; between the jealousy and hating his guts. Between wanting him back so badly just to make the pain _stop,_ and wishing to just end himself and Ventus both. Aqua kept wanting him to be something he wasn’t; one of her friends or a little islander boy. He shook his head. “I’m not a replacement for your friends.”

“…No, you’re not,” she said distantly. “They’re my brothers, and now… they’re gone.”

What she said about him was true. So why did it hurt?

A week ago Vanitas had reveled in the fact that Ventus and his friends were separated. He thought back to the first time he’d heard Aqua laugh. It had been through Ventus; the feedback Vanitas had received through their connected hearts allowing him to hear whenever Ventus played and laughed with his friends. The jealousy he’d felt towards his other half had dyed Vanitas’s heart darker than black.

But _he_ was the one playing games with Aqua now, and somehow _he_ had gotten her to laugh. 

_Just ‘cause you remind her of Ventus,_ a voice hissed bitterly. _And she was laughing at you, not with you._

Vanitas had the sudden desire to make Aqua laugh for real, on his own merits rather than _at_ him or because he reminded her of her stupid friends. How absurd.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Aqua sat at a table in the library, absentmindedly flipping through a book. She was trying to read but the words weren’t sinking in; rather, her mind kept slipping back to Vanitas. She’d been thinking about him a lot lately, almost as much as she thought about Terra and Ven. Not surprising, seeing as he was the only other person in the Castle of Dreams.

His display in the courtyard the other day had been one of the most disturbing things she’d ever seen. Why would he want to hurt himself like that, and with such little prompting, too? And the Thornbite earlier today… Did Vanitas not have as much control over the Unversed as he claimed? 

Aqua rested her head in her hands. She was afraid to admit she didn’t really know how to help him. Master Eraqus had never taught her how to heal an injured heart, much less one so steeped in Darkness. Nothing she had tried seemed to make Vanitas truly happy… besides feeding him of course, but that would get old, fast. He was bored enough as it was.

_So much for positivity._

She closed the book and took out her journal. Aqua had stopped writing in it a few weeks into her journey through the Dark World. There hadn’t been much of a point in doing so, as the Realm of Darkness had nothing interesting to offer but rocks and trees and Heartless, but maybe now it would help pass the time. She needed to start keeping track of things.

Aqua flipped through the journal, past her notes on the various Worlds and Unversed she’d encountered in the Realm of Light, to the sticker album in the back. Seeing it brought a smile to her face. The album held a collection of stickers she had won in Disney Town. It depicted herself having a picnic with Queen Minnie and Daisy Duck in a field of flowers, along with the rainbow and firework stickers she’d placed overhead. It was such a colorful, happy scene.

She’d had such a fun time at the Dream Festival, even if she hadn’t been able to stay for long. Besides stickers and ice cream, Aqua had helped Horace Horsecollar clear out the Unversed from the Fruitball court. The Dark creatures had been acting strangely, playing games and racing around the speedway rather than engaging in their usual destructive tendencies. Vanitas had been to that World, obviously. Had he enjoyed the Festival as much as she had?

Aqua’s expression lit up as she had an exceptionally wonderful idea.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning, Aqua came down to breakfast with an unnervingly happy expression on her face. Vanitas stopped midway through peeling a Heroic Orange. “Uh… Should I be worried about something?” he asked.

“I’ve got a great idea!” she beamed. So that was a yes, then. “Remember Disney Town?”

Vanitas gagged. “How could I forget?! That World was completely disgusting.”

“Disgusting?! I thought it was cute…” Aqua pouted. Of course she would find such a wretched place ‘cute’. 

He rolled his eyes. “It looked like a rainbow threw up on a bunch of cartoon animals.” Honestly, all those eye-bleeding, mismatched colors and repetitive, annoying music were absolutely vile. He couldn’t have left fast enough. 

“If you hated Disney Town, then how come the Unversed were playing games?” Aqua asked.

“No idea. They’re only supposed to be influenced by negativity, but something about that place made them act all… ‘toony. Honestly that whole World kinda creeped me out.”

“I thought you weren’t scared of anything,” she teased.

“I said it was _creepy,_ not scary. Something about animals walking and talking is just… unnatural.” Vanitas knew he was one to talk about _unnatural._

“Uh huh. You know, I had a lot of fun at the Dream Festival. I mostly just helped Horace with Fruitball, but there was racing, ice cream…”

Ice cream? Vanitas perked up. Damn, maybe he should’ve stuck around, after all.

“So I was thinking… Maybe we could play Fruitball!” Aqua triumphantly pointed to the Heroic Orange in his hand.

“Sorry, I’m fresh out of giant cartoon fruit,” he deadpanned.

“You can’t make them bigger?” she asked, disappointed.

Vanitas contemplated the Orange. “I don’t… think so?” It wasn’t as if giant fruit could fit inside a Prize Pod.

“Then what should we do about the ball…?” 

Just what was Aqua planning? Maybe he shouldn’t have doubted her craftiness. He thought she would’ve learned her lesson from yesterday that hanging around him was a bad idea. 

“Any particular reason you wanna play Fruitball?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I just thought you could use a little fun in your life,” she answered gently. “I know you’ve been pretty bored lately…”

_Fun…?_

Dueling Aqua was fun. Manipulating Ventus was fun. Playing games with giant fruit… not so much. Not that he’d ever tried it… Sports were kind of like sparring, right? Maybe he _should_ go along with Aqua’s little scheme.

“A ball, huh?” Vanitas rested his chin on his hand in a contemplative posture. “Maybe if we cast Sleep on a Darkball…”

“No way!” Aqua gaped. “We are _not_ using a Heartless. That’s totally inhumane!”

“Good thing I’m not human,” he grinned. “Besides, Heartless don’t feel pain.”

She shook her head. “How about _I_ take care of the ball situation, and you set up the net.”

“Fine by me,” Vanitas shrugged. Somehow, he had a feeling today might actually be a good day.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Aqua wrinkled her nose. The old storage closet was full of dust and a musty odor which filled the air. This part of the Castle must not have been in use even when it was in the Realm of Light. It wasn’t as if other parts of the Castle were layered in dust. 

Despite the smell, Aqua was hopeful she would find what she was looking for; it was here she had discovered the chess set from yesterday. Passing shelves packed with various items, she saw rusted jousting and archery equipment and a dartboard which was in fairly good shape. Maybe she would have a use for that later. Finally, Aqua found what she was looking for; a brown leather ball.

A thump from behind startled her. She turned around, expecting to see a Heartless, but there was nothing there. Aqua blinked and coughed out some dust. Assuming she must have imagined it, she exited the storage closet into the hallway. Shiny suits of armor lined the walls, the candlelight reflecting off their metal surfaces. She heard a creak and turned around. 

Had that armor just moved? Or was her mind playing tricks again? Aqua summoned her Keyblade and approached slowly, lifting the armor’s helmet to peer inside. Instead of seeing a Heartless like she expected, it was empty. Aqua placed the helmet back on the armor, but couldn’t help the eerie feeling of being watched. 

Unnerved, she returned to the ballroom to find Vanitas directing several Bruisers. They had removed the red curtains from the walls, stretching them at either end of the room to create makeshift goals with a net dividing it down the center. 

“No you idiot, _my_ left,” Vanitas scolded a Bruiser which shuffled a little, the end of the curtain grasped tightly in its claws. “Honestly…” He pinched the bridge of his nose before turning to Aqua. “You found a ball, huh?”

“Mhm,” she nodded before glancing at the Bruisers. They were eyeing her in what could only be interpreted as an aggressive manner. “Vanitas, are you sure they’re safe?” she asked worriedly, remembering the Bruiser that had attacked her her first day in the Castle.

“Huh? Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t they be?”

She gave him a pointed look.

He raised his hands. “Hey, I summoned these on purpose. They ain’t gonna do nothing unless I give the word.”

“If you say so…” Aqua wasn’t entirely convinced. It was rather odd, seeing the Unversed serve such a mundane task. She startled and took a step back as Vanitas summoned several hopping Shoegazers. “What are those for?”

“Isn’t this a team sport?” he asked, placing his hand upon a Shoegazer’s head until it stopped bouncing.

Aqua eyed the Shoegazers warily. Honestly the thought of doing anything with or near the Unversed made her uncomfortable. Vanitas sometimes acted as though they had minds of their own, and if the incident with the Thornbite was any indication, he didn’t have complete control over them.

“…I don’t need those things,” Aqua said. “I can do this on my own.”

“Suit yourself,” Vanitas shrugged, dissolving the Unversed into a black mist and reabsorbing them through his palms.

Aqua observed the room. The Bruisers were still glaring at her, but she ignored them. She and Vanitas had procured goals, a net, and a ball, but something was still missing. “We’ll need some sort of timer—” A ticking Chrono Twister popped into existence, making her jump and almost drop the ball. “Would you stop that?!”

“Stop what?”

“Making Unversed!” she said exasperatedly.

Vanitas shot her a dark glare. “Oh, well excuse me for having _feelings,”_ he snarled sarcastically. “If you have some secret way of getting rid of emotions, _Master_ Aqua, then _please_ share.”

Aqua frowned at his sudden aggression. She didn’t want their conversation to devolve into another fight. “Vanitas, please… let’s just play Fruitball.”

He blinked and —as sudden as it had come— his glare was gone, replaced by thoughtful amusement. “Is it really Fruitball if it’s not a fruit ball?”

She took a second to process his question, still trying to shake off his sudden mood swings. Would she ever get used to those? “I guess we could call it ‘Ballball’…”

Vanitas snorted. “Fruitball is fine.” He turned his attention to the Chrono Twister. The hourglass-shaped Unversed steadily twitched back and forth, most of its purple sand having run to the bottom as she and Vanitas had talked. He tapped it and the Unversed flipped over, allowing its top portion to fill again. “I set it for twenty minutes. Is that okay with you?”

“Sure,” Aqua said, walking to her side of the net while twirling the ball in her hands. “Do you know how to play?”

“I think I’ve got the basic idea,” he smirked. “You ready to lose this time?”

“Guess again!” Aqua scoffed playfully. She’d wipe that arrogant smirk off his face. “Ready?”

Vanitas nodded. Aqua hiked the ball into the air, then served it over the net. Vanitas jumped up, missing the ball by inches as it soared into his goal.

“Give up yet?” Aqua called as he retrieved the ball.

Vanitas grit his teeth. “I’m just getting started,” he growled before taking his turn.

Almost twenty minutes later, the two Keyblade Wielders were tied for points. Aqua glanced at the Chrono Twister; it was almost out of sand. If she tried, she could score another point and win. But Vanitas had been so upset after losing last time… Aqua made her decision. She purposefully let her fingers brush past the ball and it flew directly into her goal. Vanitas’s whoop of joy was cut off by the sudden casting of Stopga by the Chrono Twister. After a few seconds the time-stopping spell wore off. Vanitas was grinning. 

“I won!” he stated proudly.

“Yes, you did,” Aqua smiled at him. “Did you have fun?”

Vanitas tilted his head. “Does it matter? I won! Now we have to spar.”

“What? But you lost at chess!” she said indignantly. Had he really not enjoyed himself? Or… did he not understand the concept of fun?

“Yeah, but I won at Fruitball,” he countered.

Aqua snorted. “I suppose you did.” She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Vanitas’s habits were a bad influence. “So what?”

“What do you mean, ‘so what’? So I get to choose what’s next, that’s what!” he said pompously. “And I say we spar!”

Aqua crossed her arms. Perhaps she shouldn’t have let him win, after all. He was acting absolutely obnoxious.

“Why don’t you wanna spar? Afraid you’re gonna lose again?” he goaded.

“You didn’t say anything about win or lose conditions,” she said in an annoyed tone. “I call best two out of three.”

“Fine, whatever,” Vanitas huffed. “So, what’s the third thing?”

“Well…” Aqua scratched her head thoughtfully. “Disney Town had a speedway for racing, but neither of us have Keyblade Gliders.”

“Who said we need Gliders? Glidewinders will do just fine. We can each ride on one of those.”

Aqua blanched. “Maybe we should just have a footrace.”

Vanitas shook his head. “That’s not nearly as fun. Besides, I think we both know who the slow one is,” he smirked.

“We don’t have a racetrack, and we’d probably wreck the Castle racing in here,” she pointed out.

“There’s a path in the gardens. I saw it from the windows.”

“I don’t know… We haven’t cleared out that area yet, and I know there are Heartless out there. It could be dangerous.” When was he going to give this up? She was running out of arguments.

“Like we haven’t fought Heartless before,” Vanitas rolled his eyes. “Come on, it’ll be fine. Besides, if we meet something really tough out there, we can always outrun it. Nothing’s faster than a Glidewinder!”

“I heard from Chip and Dale that Terra beat them in a race.”

_“…Nothing’s_ faster than a Glidewinder,” he insisted with a slight growl.

She thought for a moment. “You… have more control over them than I do.”

“I promise I won’t cheat,” Vanitas said rather earnestly. “Come on Aqua, _please?”_

Aqua sighed. She’d run out of arguments. “Oh, fine…” she conceded. “Since you did say please…”

Vanitas flashed a wide grin, and that was how Aqua found herself just beyond the red doors to the gardens, standing in front of two large, jittering Unversed. They both hovered about a foot off the ground, each of their twin engines whirling. Vanitas patted the Glidewinders’ sides.

“Are you _sure_ these things are safe?” Aqua asked nervously.

“They’re about as safe as any Unversed,” he shrugged. “Glidewinders are fairly non-aggressive, relatively speaking. If it makes you feel any better, they’re made of Desperation, not Anger. They just don’t like to sit still.”

Unversed could be made out of emotions other than hate and rage? She hadn’t even considered the possibility, but if they really were Vanitas’s feelings then of course they would include more than just two emotions.

He hopped up on a Glidewinder, grabbing ahold of the key-shaped protrusion on the top of its head and balancing his feet on its shoulders to keep steady. “See, there’s nothing to it.”

Aqua bit her lip apprehensively. 

“Do you trust me?” Vanitas asked, holding out his hand.

_‘No,’_ she wanted to say. Or rather, she didn’t trust his _Unversed._ Giving a long, drawn out sigh, Aqua took his hand and used it to hoist herself up onto the other Glidewinder, cautiously placing her feet on its shoulders and gripping the key like a set of handlebars. The Unversed bucked wildly under her feet. Aqua gave a shout and held on tightly, squeezing her eyes shut. Vanitas grabbed ahold of the key and muttered something, immediately calming the creature down.

“This is a terrible idea,” she said for what had to be the fifth time, opening her eyes once her stomach had settled. “What did you say to it?”

“I told it I’d rip that key straight out of its skull if it didn’t settle down.”

“Charming,” Aqua deadpanned.

“I meant it,” he smirked.

_Of course you did._

“So, how do I fly this thing?” Aqua asked, peering down to meet the Unversed’s twisted red eyes. She was pretty sure it was glaring back at her.

“Well…” Vanitas gave his Glidewinder’s key a sharp tug and the Unversed pitched forward. “You’ve got your forward, and back…” He leaned backwards and the Glidewinder followed his movements. “Side to side.” He twisted the key, turning the Unversed in either direction. “Not much different than your Glider, I’d imagine.”

“Except my Keyblade Glider wasn’t alive,” she pointed out. Or likely to kill her if she looked at it funny.

“Neither are the Unversed, really,” he shrugged again.

Aqua wasn’t sure what to make of that. If the Unversed weren’t really alive, then how could they act without Vanitas’s permission? She had a suspicion he wasn’t telling her everything about his fledgling emotions, which was probably true.

“Alright, we’re just gonna go around the garden path, so the finish line will be right here,” Vanitas explained before summoning his visor. “You ready?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Aqua muttered dryly.

He hunched his shoulders slightly and grasped the Unversed’s key in a tighter grip. “On my mark…”

She swallowed in apprehension and followed his example.

“Ready, set… and _go!”_ Vanitas’s Glidewinder surged forwards.

Aqua leaned forward on hers. The creature was slow to start, but then rocketed forwards, chasing after Vanitas. Aqua instantly knew she’d made a terrible mistake; this was nothing like flying a Keyblade Glider! The Unversed bucked and twisted under her grasp, seemingly forgetting its master’s previous threat and was now determined to shake her lose. She was pretty sure she was screaming, but was drowned out by the wind whistling in her ears and Vanitas’s wild laughter from up ahead.

_This is it; I’m going to die. I’m going to die and it’s all his fault._

A sharp corner was coming up. Aqua twisted the Glidewinder’s key, but it wasn’t paying any attention to her. At the last second, it swerved on a dime, still following Vanitas down the path. Aqua almost lost her balance due to the momentum. The Unversed wasn’t obeying her commands at all, she realized; just following its master without any regards for the safety of its passenger.

Trees whipped past in a blur of green. She felt dizzy —borderline nauseous— and suddenly very, very cold. Something was wrong. This wasn’t regular motion sickness; rather, it was as if something was pressing in on her chest, five points of icy, burning pressure around her heart. Aqua faintly gasped for breath as she crouched on the Glidewinder, no longer paying attention to where it was taking her. Her grip on the Unversed’s key was slackening, her entire body going weak and numb. The World around her turned grey.

_What’s… happening…?_

Was she dying? It wouldn’t surprise her. The Realm of Darkness had been trying to kill her ever since she’d set foot in this dreadful place, this hellish World of monsters where warmth and Light and happiness faded into a timeless abyss. There was no escape; this World would be her grave. Everything was just so… hopeless. Futile. In vain.

_Maybe I should just give in… fade away into the Darkness…_

_But… wasn’t there someone I was supposed to protect…? Someone I needed to wake up…?_

She tried to recall who, but his name escaped her like a dying breeze. Aqua could barely contemplate how empty she felt before the World spun and everything faded to black.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Vanitas heard a thump as Aqua’s Glidewinder tore past him, its rider absent. He slowed his own Unversed, turning back to see Aqua laying on the ground. He jumped off his Glidewinder and ran to her, the now riderless Unversed zipping away down the path. 

“Aqua? What’s wrong?” he asked worriedly. Aqua was just lying there, chest rising and falling, but otherwise dead to the World. Vanitas checked for blood, but she had no injuries to speak of. She was just… sleeping. Was she playing some sort of prank on him? Vanitas knew Ventus liked to do that kind of thing with her and Terra, at least when they were younger… But if this was a joke, he wasn’t laughing. 

“Aqua, get up. This ain’t funny.” He shook her shoulder but her eyes remained closed. Vanitas tried to bite back his mounting Panic. “Please, Aqua,” he begged. Not for the first time in his life, Vanitas wished he’d learned Curaga. He tried to bring up the feeling of Disgust in order to summon a Vile Phial, but he felt too Panicked and created a Yellow Mustard instead.

“Damn it, not you!” Vanitas howled, grabbing the electric pot-shaped Unversed and smashing it against the ground. He ignored the jolt of lightning and pain that raced up his arm. Suddenly, he heard a strange noise coming from the direction of the trees. Looking up, Vanitas saw a dark puddle slither across the ground towards him and Aqua. “Stupid Shadows, why can’t you just—?” The growl died in his throat as the Heartless emerged from the puddle. 

It wasn’t one of the small Shadows, like those that infested the Castle. This Heartless was tall, with a hunched posture and swaying limbs tipped with razor-sharp claws. Blue veins crisscrossed its body, its long antennae almost touching the ground. More were emerging from the trees, their unblinking yellow eyes fixated upon their prey, like dozens of stars in the gloom.

Neoshadows.

Vanitas froze, eyes wide. His chest felt so tight that he couldn’t breathe. 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

_The boy choked on the dust-filled air, the glare of the hot sun beating down on him as he stood before his Master in the middle of the Badlands. Dark, eerie shapes surrounded him, monsters his Master had summoned. The monsters leapt upon him, tearing at his flesh. His Master was shouting at him from the cliff, something about using his power, letting the Dark storm within him run its course, but he couldn’t do it. It was hopeless._

_He would rather die._

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

The Neoshadows were closing in. Hatred pumped thick and black through Vanitas’s veins. Hatred for that worthless, spineless coward he used to be; that weak little boy who refused to stand up against the Heartless, refused to embrace his Dark impulses, refused to sharpen his fear into rage; a complete failure. Back then he had been terrified and alone. But now… now he was never truly alone.

Dread and Terror sharpened into beaks and talons. A mixed flock of Archravens and Axe Flappers winged their way into the sky before dive-bombing the Neoshadows, clawing and pecking at their beady yellow eyes. One Heartless approached closer than the others, arching its long talons over Aqua’s sleeping form.

“Get away from her! She’s _mine!”_ Vanitas screamed, swinging his Keyblade into the Neoshadow’s face. Void Gear lodged itself inside the creature’s thick skull. He spun around and fried another Heartless with a black bolt of Dark Thundara. The Neoshadows had finally caught the Archravens and Axe Flappers in their talons, tearing the Unversed into shredded hunks of wet, black gore. Vanitas flinched at the phantom pain of claws raking down his spine as his Fear returned to him twofold. He needed Aqua, fast.

“Aqua! Aqua, wake up!” Vanitas grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her like a rag doll.

“Ven…?” she groaned. 

_“I am not Ventus!”_ he snarled and slapped her across the cheek.

Aqua’s eyes popped open. “Ow! What was that for—?” She gasped and jumped to her feet, staring around in bewilderment.

“You fell asleep!” Vanitas spat, calling Void Gear to his hand and swiping at another Heartless.

“I didn’t—” She dodged an incoming strike from a Neoshadow and summoned her own Keyblade.

The Heartless were surrounding them, their Darkness cold and oppressive. Vanitas could vaguely sense Aqua’s Light at his back, but it did little to sooth his panicked mind. His instincts screamed at him to run, but he felt rooted to the spot. Vanitas eyed the Neoshadows wildly, glancing from one doll-like face to the next. “Stay back!” he hissed. Void Gear shook in his trembling hand. Why, _why,_ _WHY_ couldn’t he fight them?

“Vanitas! Don’t just stand there, do something!” Aqua shouted.

He shed his Fear the only way he knew how. Floods poured from his back, dozens of the little purple Unversed hiding in their own quivering puddles. Snarling like an animal, Vanitas swept his Keyblade in a wide arc, a blast of Dark Firaga blazing from the tip. A terrible burning smell filled the air as the Heartless were lit ablaze by the black fire, the creatures making horrible shrieking cries despite their lack of mouths. Maybe Heartless _did_ feel pain. He ran Void Gear through another Neoshadow, ignoring the pain as the creature’s claws tore into his arm.

Aqua fended off several more Neoshadows. Those that had not been lit on fire she froze with Blizzaga, shattering their frozen bodies with her Keyblade. Soon the two Keyblade Wielders stood panting in the middle of a pile of shattered, reeking, melting corpses. Vanitas wordlessly turned away from the dying Heartless and walked back down the path towards the courtyard. Aqua followed silently. He shoved open the large red doors to the courtyard and Aqua pushed past him to sit on the pool’s stone edge, nursing her injured cheek.

Vanitas slammed the doors shut behind him and dismissed his visor, rounding on her. “What the fuck was that?! You could’ve gotten us both killed!”

Aqua’s head snapped up. “If I recall, _you_ were the one who wanted to go into the gardens in the first place!” she yelled back.

“You fell asleep!” he insisted.

Aqua rubbed her cheek. “You hit me!”

“Don’t play pathetic princess, Aqua,” Vanitas scoffed. “We both know you’re strong enough to take it.”

She glared daggers at him. “This isn’t about what I can take!”

Any retort he might have mustered died on his lips at the sight of her piercing blue eyes. Vanitas looked away uncomfortably, unable to meet her gaze. Aqua hated him. She had every right to, he supposed. A slap to the face probably wasn’t the most pleasant way to wake up. Although, Vanitas wouldn’t know; Xehanort had always kicked him instead. 

There was a strange new emotion in his chest, heavy and unpleasant; something stronger than Regret. It wanted to become a Mandrake, but letting out another Unversed wouldn’t do him any favors at the moment, so he buried the feeling. Instead, Vanitas turned his attention towards Aqua. She was sitting with her legs crossed, pointedly not looking at him. The mark where he’d slapped her stood out red against her cheek and was slowly purpling into a bruise.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he murmured, sitting down a little ways away from her. He really hadn’t, but then he’d never been good at holding back.

“…I know,” Aqua said, not meeting his eyes. Her Light was now more sharp than sweet.

They continued to sit in silence. Vanitas curled his hands into loose fists. While there was no chance of the Regret _—or whatever it was—_ escaping from him now, it still felt heavy in his heart. He used to want to cause Aqua suffering, but that had been before she’d saved his life. Seeing her in pain just wasn’t fun anymore. 

Vanitas swallowed thickly. “Aqua, I could try… I wanna make it better.”

She sighed and slowly turned towards him, her face still set in a disappointed frown. “…Alright,” she conceded.

Vanitas scooted closer and hovered his hand over the mark, careful to not let his fingertips touch her face. He tried to think of positivity; the relief that they were alright, the satisfaction he’d had at winning Fruitball…

Warmth flowed through his heart, similar to how it felt whenever Ventus had a positive emotion. But this wasn’t some dim feedback from his other half’s heart. This was real. Slowly, ever so slowly, a sparkling green light trickled from his fingertips and swirled around Aqua’s cheek. The bruise lightened from a deep purple to a faint pink.

Aqua gingerly rubbed her face. “You can cast Cure now,” she said, surprised.

“Yeah, I guess I can,” Vanitas said in wonder, flexing his fingers as the green light faded.

A small smile tugged at her lips. “…That’s wonderful, Vanitas. It really is.” Her Light sweetened with her words. Vanitas felt a surge of pride which helped flush out the heavy, Regret-like emotion. “You’re hurt too,” Aqua said, indicating to where his Dark Suit was stitching up over the claw marks on his arm.

“It’s nothing,” he said dismissively, ignoring a twinge of pain. _I’m not weak._

She shook her head and cast Cura over him anyway, instantly sealing up the wounds. Vanitas rubbed his arm, once again marveling at the tingling sensation. It really was quite pleasant… Maybe next time he should just swallow his pride and let her heal him.

“May I confess something?” Aqua asked suddenly.

“Go ahead.”

“Just before I fainted, I suddenly felt drained, empty, as if… as if I didn’t have any positive emotions anymore.”

Vanitas was well versed with that feeling.

“I was just thinking, I’ve never had such prolonged contact with an Unversed…” She let the implication hang in the air.

“You think I did something to you on purpose.” For some reason it hurt that she would think that. 

_Of course she would,_ a little voice hissed. _You’ve done nothing but hurt her, lately._

Okay, he had to admit hitting her was his fault. But draining her positivity? Was it even possible for an Unversed to do that, close proximity or not? It didn’t make any sense. 

Vanitas shook his head. “The Unversed only feed on negative emotions. They can’t steal your positivity.”

“Of course; Master Eraqus said they feed on negativity.” Aqua let out a breath. “I’m sorry I blamed you. I just know so little about them, and so little about you. You’ve told me you hate the Heartless, but it’s more than just that, isn’t it. I’ve never seen you so…” She bit her lip.

“Weak? Helpless?” he supplied, trying not to let his voice betray his emotions.

_“Paralyzed._ I’ve never seen you react to a Heartless like that. I… I want to help you through this, whatever this is.”

Should he tell her? He’d be admitting another weakness. But she’d already noticed, and he couldn’t afford her abandoning him if he froze up again. 

“…Neoshadows are what Xehanort used to train Ventus, back when he first wanted us to create the X-Blade,” Vanitas explained.

Aqua’s eyes widened. “But Ven— You were just a kid. He made you fight those _alone?”_

“You think Xehanort cared?” he asked bitterly.

“No, I suppose I don’t. It’s just… That’s awful,” she whispered.

_Can’t argue with you, there._

“Xehanort wanted Ventus—” Vanitas swallowed thickly. “He wanted _me_ to sharpen my fear into rage. To give in to the Darkness so I could balance it within myself. But I couldn’t. I was so scared…” He clenched his fists in his lap. “This time, those Neoshadows were surrounding me and I thought I was back _there_ and I was gonna die _again._ It’s stupid. I’m not a little kid anymore. I was being path—”

“That’s not pathetic! Vanitas that’s— _Anyone_ would be scared by that. It’s okay to be afraid,” Aqua said earnestly. “I’m scared of a lot of things. I’m scared I won’t ever see my friends again. I’m scared I’m going to be stuck in the Dark World forever.” Her eyes were glistening as she pulled a shiny object out of the belt of her skirt. It was a blue star-shaped charm. Vanitas hadn’t noticed it before. 

She gripped the charm tightly. “I know you hate my friends, but… I need them. I’m so worried about them. I have to get back h-home.” Her voice became choked and forced the more she spoke. Aqua began to cry, her face turning red and water leaking out of her eyes. Vanitas couldn’t help but stare with a mixture of incredulity and disgust. Had he looked this gross when he cried?

“Shut up, Aqua. Stop it,” Vanitas said in an attempt to calm her down. She just cried harder at that. He hadn’t even known Aqua was the type of person to cry; she was always so strong. No matter how much being a Keyblade Master was a sham, it didn’t seem right for a Master to cry. 

What was he supposed to do? The only other time he’d heard a person cry besides himself was Cinderella, and she’d had Terra and the old fairy to magic her troubles away. Vanitas didn’t know words of comfort like Terra; all his magic was steeped in Darkness. What had Xehanort done for him when he’d cried? Well, the old man had just laughed at him. That obviously wouldn’t help. What did _normal_ people do to make each other feel better? They… hugged, right? Like Cinderella and the Prince. Well, there was no way in hell he was doing _that._

Instead, Vanitas took in a deep breath and awkwardly patted her shoulder. At least she didn’t flinch away from him. “Aqua, you’re stronger than this,” he said, frantically trying to think of something to cheer her up. “It’s not your fault you fainted. You’re just tired from playing Fruitball, that’s all. Just… _please_ stop crying,” he finished weakly. The magic word wasn’t working, either.

Aqua tried wiping her eyes with the back of her glove, but the tears wouldn’t stop. “It’s just… I don’t know what to do. Terra and Ven need me, but I’m stuck here and you still _h-hate_ me…” she sobbed.

Vanitas blinked, lips parted in surprise. Did he hate her? He should, shouldn’t he. Vanitas had hated everyone and everything in all the Worlds since the day he’d been born.

He hated the Unversed, both for being the disgusting physical manifestations of his own weakness and the constant agony they caused him. He hated Ventus for being weak, cowardly, and spoiled, for rejecting him when they’d been so close to becoming whole. He hated Xehanort for tearing him apart and starting this entire mess in the first place, for tort— _training_ him to the point of exhaustion and tears and then laughing at his pain.

Aqua had caused him pain, too. From the sting of her magic and the bite of her Keyblade —whether through his own flesh or that of his Unversed— to shattering the X-Blade and therefore his heart, ruining his one chance of salvation and trapping him down here in the Darkness…

It should be easy to hate her. In fact, just thinking about what she’d done, how she had wronged him, should bring it boiling up to the surface, but… the feeling just wasn’t there. His Hatred for Aqua… Where had it gone? Vanitas peered into the depths of his heart, seeking the missing emotion. His search brought up his Annoyance towards her, his Frustration and Anger. There was Embarrassment, too. Spite, Bitterness, Confusion…

Vanitas turned them over and examined them one by one. There were so many negative emotions, yet the one he was looking for was gone. That wasn’t all; others were missing too, or were at least dampened. In place of his Loneliness, Hunger, and Boredom was a different feeling, the soothing warmth he had only ever felt through his connection to Ventus, something he was too scared to name lest the emotion slip away. 

Had Aqua given this to him? This… positivity? An emotion he could savor, hold close and nestled deep within his heart? And in exchange, what had he given her? Accusations, insults, and pain? Looking up at Aqua’s tear-streaked face, Vanitas felt both Sorrow and Regret. Not for himself, but for her. 

“I don’t hate you, Aqua,” he murmured. _Not anymore._

She finally looked at him, her blue eyes bloodshot and wet. “How can you not? I _k-killed_ you.”

_Don’t remind me._

“Well I’m not dead _now,_ am I? And neither are you. And…” He shoved down his jealousy, if only for a moment. “I can tell you for sure that Ventus is safe.”

“How do you know?” she sniffled.

“Our hearts are still connected. I don’t know where he is but… I think he’s sleeping.”

“That’s right.” She wiped her face with her glove. “I put him where no one can find him.”

Vanitas resisted the urge to ask where Ventus was. Somehow, it seemed wrong to think about his plan at the moment.

Aqua’s tears finally dried up and she gave him a tired smile. What a relief. “I’m sorry. I guess I just had all those feelings bottled up,” she said.

Vanitas gave an awkward chuckle. “I know what that’s like.” He leaned back. “Sometimes it’s good to let them out.” At least when they manifested as tears rather than monsters.

Aqua was still cradling the blue charm in her hands.

“What is that?” Vanitas asked, indicating towards it.

“Hmm? Oh, it’s my Wayfinder. It’s supposed to lead me back to my friends. Each of us have one.” She held it out in her palms. The charm was a five-pointed star of blue-tinted glass, a similar hue to her hair and eyes. It was trimmed in silver with a shining pendant in the center, the same as the symbol on her chest.

“It’s beautiful,” he breathed.

“You like it? Even though it’s connected to Terra and Ven?” she asked, eyebrows raised.

His face flushed slightly. “Well, I’m sure theirs aren’t nearly as good as yours.”

Aqua actually laughed, even though he was insulting her friends again. Vanitas’s heart lit up at the sound. “I’m glad you like it,” she said. “They didn’t seem to appreciate it very much.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well… I’m not sure Ventus really understood its significance. He was disappointed it wasn’t a ‘real’ good luck charm because I didn’t make it out of seashells.” 

_Seriously? Ventus, you idiot; what’s so great about seashells?_

“So, you made this?” Vanitas asked, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Mhm,” she nodded.

“…It’s really good,” he said, his blush deepening. What the hell? It wasn’t like he was complimenting her, just telling the truth…

“Thank you. That means a lot, really,” she beamed. “Terra thought I was being too girly.”

He blinked. “But you _are_ a girl. How could you be too much of a girl?”

Aqua laughed again. “I guess that really is the question, isn’t it.”

Vanitas tilted his head. “I don’t understand. You were just crying your eyes out over them, and now you’re upset with them?” Not that hearing bad things about Ventus and Terra didn’t delight him, but it just seemed strange for her to say anything negative about her friends.

Aqua snorted. An odd sound, coming from her. “Well… friendships aren’t perfect, Vanitas; they’re not supposed to be. Sometimes people fight or disagree. What matters is that you care about each other.”

_Care…?_

Did Aqua… _care_ about him? Vanitas had wondered that when she had brought him soup the other day. Cooking for him, teaching him magic, playing games, saving his life… Aqua had spent all her time with him for the past week, when she’d admitted she barely knew him, when he had hurt her and her friends. Vanitas wanted to ask, wanted to _know_ if she cared… but the words refused to come out. He was afraid of what would happen if she said no.

_A coward to the end, huh Vanitas?_

It was time for a change of subject. “You really like stars, huh?” he asked, noting the Wayfinder’s shape.

“Well, yes. But that’s not why it’s shaped like this.” Aqua sat up a little straighter. “Somewhere out there, there’s this tree with star-shaped fruit, and the fruit represents an unbreakable connection. So as long as you and your friends carry good luck charms shaped like it, nothing can ever drive you apart. You’ll always find your way back to each other.” She traced along the Wayfinder’s silver edge. _“Technically,_ you’re supposed to make them with seashells, but I did the best with what I had.”

Star-shaped fruit? And seashells…? Vanitas frowned and closed his eyes. Where had he seen those before?

He could see it in his mind, bright rays of sunlight reflecting against a white, sandy shoreline… The crashing sound of ocean waves and the salty tang of sea spray… The honeyed scent of tropical fruits and sharp cries of coastal birds…

…Of course. Destiny Islands. Everything came back to _Sora._

The plan he had shoved to the back of his mind bubbled to the surface, along with a vortex of intrusive, whispering thoughts. If the Wayfinders were connected, then would Aqua’s Wayfinder guide him to Ventus? He should just _take it from her now, escape the Dark World, kill Sora, take what Ventus owes you, BECOME WHOLE._

But what about Aqua? He couldn’t just leave her behind, could he?

“Vanitas, are you okay?” Aqua’s anxious voice broke through his swirling thoughts. His yellow eyes snapped open and met her blue gaze, her eyes so full of pity. Of _concern._ Even if it was just out of Light-blinded selflessness, it made him feel… safe, somehow. Warm.

No… When he left the Dark World, it would be with her.

“You got really quiet all of a sudden…”

Vanitas cleared his throat. “I’m fine; just thinking. Can the Wayfinder lead us back to the Realm of Light?”

“Maybe…?” Aqua said uncertainly, frowning at the charm in her hands. “It hasn’t really worked that way.”

Well, it was worth a shot. “It’s still beautiful, even if it’s not a ‘real’ good luck charm.”

She glanced back up at him. “You know, I _did_ work a little magic on it…”

“Really? What?”

Aqua smiled warmly. “An unbreakable connection.” She finally stood, looping the Wayfinder back on her belt. “I know you don’t like the stars, but… I’d like to show you something. It might help.”

“…Alright,” Vanitas agreed and followed her back into the Castle.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Aqua felt a little strange inviting Vanitas into the library. It wasn’t as if she owned the place, but it was the one room in the Castle where she felt the safest and happiest, almost like a home away from home. But… maybe it could become that for him, too.

“So this is where you’ve been spending all your time,” he said, glancing around. “Not a bad spot to hang out.”

“Mhm. I’ve always loved to read. I spent so much time in the bookstore back home, though it wasn’t nearly as grand as this. This place is kind of like a sanctuary for me.”

“A sanctuary…?” Vanitas mused, taking a seat on the couch in front of the fireplace.

Aqua picked a book off the shelves and handed it to him. He took it with a blank look like he wasn’t quite sure what to do with it. Something she hadn’t considered before crossed her mind. “Can you read?” she asked.

Vanitas scowled darkly. “Of course I can read; I’m not an _idiot._ I’ve just never had much use for books, is all. Literature doesn’t exactly forge X-Blades.”

“I was just curious,” Aqua said exasperatedly. Vanitas’s short-tempered outbursts were exhausting and she was already tired. “Why do you always think I’m insulting you?”

Vanitas blinked sheepishly. “I…” Clearly, he wasn’t going to answer because he turned his attention to the book instead, silently sounding out the title. _“…‘Constellations’?_ Like those pictures in the stars?”

“Mhm.” She sat next to him on the couch, casting a Fire spell to light the hearth. Vanitas scooted slightly away from her and opened the book to a random page. “See there?” Aqua said, pointing to the illustration. “That’s the Kingdom Key. I could see it from the Land of Departure.”

He tilted his head, curiously tracing his fingers over the page. It depicted a single line of stars with a square group of four at one end. Each star was joined together by lines illustrating the shape of a key. “You can really see all that in the stars?” he asked in wonder.

“Well yes, but you have to use your imagination,” she said as he turned the page. “Oh, that’s the Trinity Hearts. You could only see it in winter.” This image consisted of a circular cluster of stars, three in particular shining brightly— one red, one blue, and one green.

Vanitas kept turning page after page, seemingly enraptured by the pictures. In fact, he barely even flinched when she leaned closer to him. Aqua was glad she could share this with him, the same love of stars that she, Terra, and Ventus all shared.

“I wish I’d payed more attention to the stars,” Vanitas said wistfully. “It’s too bad we can’t see them from here.”

“It really is,” Aqua agreed sadly. “Everything here is just… Dark. I’m glad you’re here, Vanitas. I was so scared I’d be wandering the Dark World alone, forever; that eventually I would just fade away into nothingness.”

“…You’re not alone,” he whispered.

“Neither are you. I don’t want to lose either of us to the Darkness.”

Vanitas slowly closed the book and stared forlornly at the hearth, the fire reflecting in his golden eyes. “Is Darkness really so bad?”

Her first instinct was to say _‘of course’._ Darkness had no right to exist. It upset the balance of the Worlds, caused chaos and destruction. Xehanort, the Heartless, the Realm of Darkness itself… All were Dark, and all were evil.

Aqua leaned back and gave a deep sigh. “You have to understand; the Darkness has taken so much from me. Master Eraqus, Terra, Ven… Not to mention being trapped in the Realm of Darkness, myself.”

Vanitas nodded solemnly, avoiding her gaze.

“But…”

But Vanitas had a heart of pure Darkness, and he had saved her life. Twice. Three times, if she counted what just happened in the gardens. His eagerness to play games with her, his delight in her cooking, holding back his insults _—at least towards her—_ and not to mention complimenting her Wayfinder… Perhaps saving his life had had a greater effect on him than she’d realized. Or maybe, deep down… Vanitas had never been as bad as she’d thought he was. If a heart of pure Darkness could perform kind and selfless acts, then was Darkness truly evil? Or perhaps a better question would be, could Darkness be used for good? 

Her heart squirmed at the thought. It would be a betrayal of her values to question her Master’s teachings, to sympathize with the Darkness, but wasn’t that what she was already doing by helping Vanitas? He was a walking contradiction of everything Master Eraqus had ever taught her about the Darkness— which she now had to admit, wasn’t much.

“You were right; I don’t know anything about the Darkness,” Aqua said. “I was taught to eliminate it no matter what, but maybe that wasn’t the right thing to do.”

_‘Light and Dark go hand in hand. You can’t have one without the other.’_ Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother’s words came back to her once again.

“Vanitas, you say you’re a heart of pure Darkness, and you used the Darkness to save me. So maybe that means… not _all_ Darkness is bad,” she concluded.

“So… you _don’t_ hate me?” he asked carefully.

Aqua’s eyes widened. Was that what he’d been thinking this entire time? “Vanitas, if I hated you, would I be helping you?”

He shook his head. “That’s the part I haven’t figured out yet. You’ve already paid your debt to me. Do you want me to owe you some kinda favor?” His yellow eyes narrowed. “Do you think I’m weak?”

_“What?”_ Aqua exclaimed, utterly baffled. “Of course not! None of that is true.”

“Then _why?!”_ he cried out, nearly shouting. “You’re Light, I’m Darkness! I hurt your friends; I hurt the _Worlds._ Even if you don’t completely hate the Darkness _—which you should—_ why don’t you hate _me?”_

“Can’t you see things are different between us?”

“Different?” Vanitas gave a half-hearted scoff. “Aqua, I haven’t changed. I’ve been nothing but cruel to you. I hurt you earlier.”

“But you didn’t _want_ to hurt me.” 

“Well… no…” he mumbled slowly.

“If I recall correctly, just a week ago you said you could never use healing magic. But now you can, and that takes a great deal of positivity. I’d say that’s a change. And as for hurting me, well…” She brushed her fingers along her cheek. The skin was still a bit tender, but his Cure spell had been pretty decent for a first-time casting. “Honestly you wounded my pride more than anything,” she said with a slight laugh.

Vanitas still looked uncertain.

“Do you want me to hate you?” Aqua asked gently.

“I… No. I don’t.”

“And you said you don’t hate me. Was that a lie?”

He shook his head.

Her smile widened. “Well then, how can I hate you when you don’t even hate me? Sure you’ve hurt me, but I’ve hurt you, too. It’s like you say. We can’t change the past, but we can change the future. We don’t have to fight each other anymore.” Aqua curled her hand around the pendant on her chest. “You say you haven’t changed, but you’ve done things for me I would’ve never expected, even things my _friends_ wouldn’t do. You called my Wayfinder beautiful; that means so much to me. And I appreciate you trying to cheer me up.” She traced a finger along the pendant’s hairline scratch and took a deep breath. “I guess what I’m trying to say is… I forgive you.”

Vanitas stared at her in open-mouthed shock, before doing something truly odd. A genuine, almost goofy smile spread across his face, a far cry from his usual smirks. “So… if I don’t hate you, and you don’t hate me, then… what does that make us?”

Aqua considered his question. They weren’t exactly _friends,_ per se. But they knew each other too well to be mere acquaintances. She thought back to the first day they had met in the Realm of Darkness. Even back then, Vanitas had wanted them to survive together.

“We’re allies,” she said confidently.

Vanitas blinked in surprise before grinning impishly. “I thought you didn’t need my help.”

Amazing how two words were enough to stroke his ego. She rolled her eyes. “I think we both need _each other’s_ help. We need to look out for each other. It’s what allies do.”

“Yeah… Alright,” he nodded.

“And I definitely don’t think you’re weak,” Aqua said earnestly. Honestly, weak was the _last_ thing Vanitas was.

“You… don’t?”

“Not at all,” she said, shaking her head. “Vanitas, you’re not weak or stupid or any of those horrible things you say about yourself. In fact…” Aqua tucked a strand of blue hair behind her ear. “I think you’re the smartest person I know.”

“Wha— I’m not—!” he sputtered in protest. “I thought _Eraqus_ was the smartest.”

“I said he’s the _wisest.”_

His eyebrows furrowed. “What’s the difference?”

“Wisdom is like… the amount of knowledge you have, and intelligence is how easily you can understand stuff and how quickly you learn. Like that Cure spell you learned in what, a week?” She leaned in, whispering her next words as though they were a secret, “Took Terra two and a half _months.”_

Vanitas burst out laughing— not a manic cackle, but a true, genuine laugh. It was good to hear. Aqua chuckled along with him, though she resisted telling him she had learned Cure in three hours. He settled down after a minute, eyes glistening with mirthful tears. “Well, if that’s the case… I guess I’ll take your word for it,” he said, wiping his eyes and giving her a lopsided smile.

“Just don’t make me fly another Glidewinder,” she said wryly. Not that he could _make_ her hop on another one of those things anytime soon, or _ever._

Vanitas gave a shaky laugh. “I won’t. But… we never finished our race. How are we supposed to know who won two out of three?”

She winced. “…Maybe we should just call it a tie.”

“Sounds to me like someone doesn’t wanna admit she lost,” he said slyly.

Aqua closed her eyes and gave an overly dramatic sigh. Fueling Vanitas’s arrogance was a bad idea. When she opened them, he was once again thumbing through the constellation book.

“When you think about it, if it wasn’t for Darkness, you couldn’t even see the stars,” he mused.

She gave him a thoughtful look. “…I hadn’t thought about it that way. That’s rather poetic of you.”

_“Poetic?”_ Vanitas snorted. “It’s not poetic, just a fact.”

They talked for a little while longer, mostly about constellations but occasionally about other things, like their favorite foods and the time Terra accidentally set fire to the Master’s favorite Cherryberry tree. It made her feel a little guilty, joking about Terra without him around— when he was in _danger,_ but the joy in Vanitas’s golden eyes was almost worth it. 

She wished he could’ve been there, raised and trained in the Land of Departure alongside her and Terra and Ven. Under Xehanort’s tutelage, Vanitas never had the chance at a normal life. Of course, Aqua couldn’t exactly say her own life was normal, either. She was a Keyblade Wielder, sworn to protect the Worlds from Darkness. 

It made her uncomfortable to think Master Eraqus could’ve been wrong, that everything she knew about Light and Darkness wasn’t true, but there was another explanation as to why Vanitas had saved her life, why he could be _good._ It was an explanation that made her much more comfortable and honestly just made much more sense. Either not all Darkness was evil, or perhaps there was more to Vanitas than just Darkness.

The Vanitas of just over a week ago wouldn’t have cared if he hurt her. In fact, he probably would’ve done so just for fun. And he would’ve mocked her tears, not tried to comfort her. Something must’ve changed in his heart. Vanitas longed for the Light; she could see it in his eyes. Food, shelter, someone to talk to… All mundane pleasures he desperately craved but had been denied. The Darkness was hurting Vanitas; that was certain.

Aqua could do it. She could chase out his Darkness, help him find the Light. She hadn’t been able to save Terra —it was her deepest regret— but Vanitas was here with her, not out on some different World or Realm. She could reach him. 

“You hungry?” she asked, standing to leave.

Vanitas’s stomach immediately growled in reply.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Aqua grinned as he flushed slightly. “I’ll go get food started.” She stopped in the doorframe. “Hey, Vanitas?”

“Yeah?”

“…Maybe you’re not as Dark as you think.”

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Vanitas paced in front of the fireplace, his thoughts troubled.

_‘Maybe you’re not as Dark as you think.’_

Aqua’s parting words echoed in his mind. Was she saying what he thought she was saying? Did she think he had… _Light_ in him?

No. Impossible. Aqua was just seeing what she wanted to see. She wanted him to be Ventus, that was all. She just missed her friend.

But… Vanitas flexed his fingers, calling up the healing magic of the Cure spell. The green sparkles danced around his palm. He felt it again, that soothing warmth, so much like the Light that passed through his heart from Ventus’s positive emotions. But these weren’t Ventus’s feelings; they were his own.

A wave of nausea washed over him; Vanitas felt like he was going to throw up. The green light in his hands took on a sickly hue and fizzled out. What if he _did_ have Light in him? He’d said it himself, a heart of pure Darkness could never use healing magic. Granted, that was all conjecture. Vanitas was the only heart of pure Darkness in existence, so it wasn’t as if he had a standard to compare to.

But if he wasn’t pure Darkness anymore, then what was he? Aqua believed he and Ventus had become separate people. Vanitas had dismissed her theory before, but now… How else would he have gained a Light of his own? 

…Would having Light be so bad? 

_YES,_ a voice screamed in his mind. If he had Light, if he wasn’t a heart of pure Darkness, then he wouldn’t be able to merge with Ventus’s heart of pure Light. If something as tiny and insignificant as _Sora_ could block out Vanitas from the other half of his heart, than certainly having his own Light would.

He would never be whole.

No, Aqua was wrong. Just because he could cast Cure and was playing nice with her for now didn’t mean he had Light. Their alliance was born from circumstance, a need to protect each other from the Heartless because there were no other options. Once they returned to the Realm of Light, after what he would do to Sora and Ventus… Aqua might not hate him now, but she was going to; she would never be his friend.

_Friend?! Since when do you need friends?_

…Since Aqua had shown him kindness. Since Aqua was the only person in all the Worlds who didn’t hate him. Despite all their fights and arguments and misunderstandings, Vanitas felt happier with Aqua than he ever had in his entire life.

Happiness. The emotion he hadn’t wanted to name, the emotion which had always been out of his reach. It felt like the opposite of creating an Unversed, so warm and feather-light, something that wanted to stay close to him rather than tear itself away. Vanitas had never thought he could feel happy, or rather that he only would once he became whole. Darkness was made of negativity, so to be able to feel something as positive as _happiness…_

Vanitas choked back a sob. Aqua had given him happiness, and a part of him wanted to hate her for it. He had always been a heart of pure Darkness, a vessel of negative emotions. It was who and what he was. She had no right to change his heart; to do so would be more the work of an enemy than a friend. But he and Aqua weren’t really friends, were they. No matter how much he wanted it. No matter how much he wished and hoped and desired, it would never be enough to make them friends.

How long had they really known each other? A couple of weeks at most? He couldn’t beat a friendship of four-plus years. Ventus and Terra shared something special with Aqua, something he could never hope to be a part of. The Wayfinder was proof of that. Once they returned to the Realm of Light, Aqua would go chasing after her real friends and leave him behind.

Pathetic. He was absolutely _pathetic._

Vanitas slumped on the couch and curled his arms around himself, mimicking the Scrappers of Loneliness which so desperately wished to burst from his body. And there was something else, another emotion, one much deeper and Darker.  The Envy the Tremaines had felt for Cinderella as she danced with the Prince was the same he felt now for Aqua and her friends. Just like the Cursed Coach, the Symphony Master had been a regular Scrapper before feeding on the Tremaines’ negativity to grow strong. It made sense, Vanitas supposed; for him, Jealousy and Loneliness had long been intertwined.

His broken heart ached. Vanitas dug his fingers tighter into his arms, hard enough to bruise. Was there even anything left in the Realm of Light? Somehow the Dwarf Woodlands and Castle of Dreams had been dragged down into the Realm of Darkness, and if those vines had anything to do with Maleficent, then the Enchanted Dominion could be here too. Who knows how many Worlds had fallen.

What if it were years before he and Aqua could escape? Their food stockpile would run dry by then, and he’d have to start sharing Prize Pods with her. Could Aqua even survive off Unversed food? How long would it take her to tire of his company? Would they both grow old and die here? Or since time didn’t pass in this Realm, would they instead be immortal, living in the Castle forever?

So many questions swirled in his mind and none of them had answers, but Vanitas did know one truth. If he returned to the Realm of Light and found Ventus, if he took what his other half owed him, then Aqua would hate him forever.

What was worth more to him? What Aqua thought of him, or being whole?

It was a choice Vanitas didn’t want to make. Perhaps it was for the best then, that they couldn’t escape the Realm of Darkness. Unlike Aqua, he didn’t have a home or friends to return to in the Realm of Light; it was in the Dark World where he had felt the least alone. As long as they stayed here, Aqua wouldn’t leave him. _‘Sanctuary’_ was how she had described the library. Well then, the Castle of Dreams was _his_ sanctuary. 

And if this was a dream, Vanitas never wanted to wake up.


	5. Chapter 5

The following week was much less hectic compared to the weeks before it. Vanitas followed Aqua around like a peaceful shadow, curling up on the couch in the library while she silently read a book or watching her while she cooked— although he never offered his help. While she had grown accustomed to his presence always being nearby, Aqua eventually had to insist that he give her some privacy, though he in turn insisted on having an Archraven follow her wherever she went. 

Vanitas refused to allow Aqua to fight any of the Castle’s resident Heartless by herself, much to her growing exasperation. It seemed he was afraid she would collapse at any moment, even though she hadn’t felt faint since the Glidewinder incident. She still wasn’t sure exactly what had caused it; Vanitas dismissed it as a fluke, but Aqua believed it was likely some ambient effect of the Dark World. Beings of Light weren’t meant to survive down here, after all. It made searching for a way out even more of a priority. 

Aqua removed the darts from the dartboard she and Vanitas had set up in the library and returned them to the table. While not particularly physically engaging, playing a competitive sport had done Vanitas some good. His restlessness had settled down and he’d stopped pestering her to spar. Now that she thought about it, Terra had always wanted to compete with her and Ven too, although Ventus had always been much more interested in that kind of stuff than she was. Maybe it was a boy thing.

Aqua laughed a little bit and shook her head. “The friendship between boys. It almost makes me jealous.” She smiled wistfully at Vanitas’s Archraven. It turned its head and glared at her out of one twisted red eye. Vanitas assured her that the avian Unversed wouldn’t attack her, but she still didn’t quite trust it.

What would Vanitas do, Aqua suddenly wondered, once they were in the Realm of Light? She had been so focused on just getting there —and saving Terra and Ventus once she did— that she hadn’t even considered what would happen to her current companion. She couldn’t expect him and her friends to just get along. He’d said they would start fighting again, but she hoped that wasn’t true. 

Would he really just go back to his old ways, his old life, spreading Unversed and seeking the X-Blade? Would he go after Ven again? Aqua’s stomach churned as her heart went cold with dread. If it came to that, if she had to pick between the two of them in a fight, Aqua knew who she would choose. 

She would have to kill Vanitas.

The Archraven suddenly squawked and flapped its wings in irritation. Right, the Unversed fed on negative emotions; if she wasn’t careful, it might attack her. Aqua took some calming breaths and opened a window to lean out on the balcony. The Archraven flew over and perched on the railing. She almost wanted to pet it, but decided against it. The avian Unversed’s beak looked wickedly sharp. She found herself wishing the winged creature was larger. If it was, she and Vanitas could just fly out of the Castle. To _where_ exactly she didn’t know, but it would be better than being stuck here forever. 

Aqua summoned Master Keeper and studied it. Her Master’s Keyblade looked the same as always; a square silver hilt and a simple black shaft with teeth in the shape of an ‘E’ for ‘Eraqus’. If only she could transform it into a Keyblade Glider, she could fly out of here. Master Keeper still only obeyed her half the time. Vanitas was right. It wasn’t yet hers to bear.

“If only I had Stormfall,” she sighed.

“Stormfall?”

Vanitas’s voice behind her made her jump. How had she not smelled him coming? Although now that she thought about it, it had been a long time since his Dark scent had been anywhere near overpowering. Perhaps she had simply gotten used to it.

“It’s my old Keyblade,” Aqua answered, turning to him and dismissing Master Keeper. “I know how to turn it into a Keyblade Glider, but I haven’t figured out Master Keeper yet. If I could, we could just fly out of here.”

“Yeah, that’s what I figured.” He reclined on the couch. “Xehanort never taught me how to make a Glider; he wanted me using Dark Corridors instead.” 

“Even if you had a Glider, you wouldn’t have been able to travel the Worlds until just a little while ago. Master Eraqus only unlocked the Lanes Between after the Mark of Mastery,” she explained.

“Huh. You know, I did go through one of those Lanes to mess with Ventus, once,” he smirked. “Wish I could’ve seen the look on his face, but he was wearing that Keyblade Armor of his.” Vanitas frowned thoughtfully. “Say, where _is_ that fancy Armor of yours? And your old Keyblade?” 

Aqua shuffled her feet uncomfortably. “…Terra has them,” she mumbled to the floor.

“You mean _Xehanort_ has them. How the hell did he get ahold of those?”

She sank into a soft chair next to the couch and sighed. “It happened when I saved Terra. After the Graveyard, I fought him in Radiant Garden. He was so full of Darkness…” She shook her head. “Some kind of Heartless opened a portal to the Realm of Darkness. He fell in and I dived in after him.”

Vanitas jolted upright. “You _what?!”_

Aqua held up a hand. “Let me finish. He was falling into the Dark World, and I tried to reach him with my Glider. It couldn’t carry both of us, so I sent my Keyblade and Armor with him back up to the surface—”

“And got yourself trapped down here instead.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Shit, Aqua. You ever think you’re taking the selfless act a little too far?”

“I thought I was saving Terra!” she insisted. “I couldn’t just abandon him! And my selflessness isn’t an act. It wasn’t any different than what you did for me, against those vines. But… if Xehanort really was possessing him, then that means…”

“That you didn’t actually save him ‘cause he’s nothing but an empty shell filled with Xehanort’s heart.”

“That’s not true!” she cried out suddenly. “He was fighting back, I know it! You’re just saying that because you hate Terra!”

Vanitas recoiled and stared at her, wide-eyed. Aqua bit her lip guiltily and looked away. She hadn’t meant to yell at him, but she was just so frustrated and anxious and his constant pessimism wasn’t helping.

“Aqua, I— Look, I’m just trying to warn you not to get your hopes up. Even if we do escape, it’s not gonna be all sunshine and rainbows up there. We already know that _something_ bad happened to the Worlds, and I’ve got a hunch Xehanort’s behind it. You said he had amnesia, but who else could it be? Maybe he really did manage to start a Keyblade War.”

“That doesn’t matter,” Aqua said, shaking her head. “We have to keep fighting him, no matter what.”

Vanitas sighed exasperatedly. “Been there, done that. It didn’t end well.”

She blinked in surprise and leaned in closer. “You fought Xehanort? When? What happened?” Did Vanitas have any knowledge of how to fight the old Master? Any weaknesses he might have?

“…It didn’t end well,” he repeated.

“You just said that.”

“It’s the truth,” he said simply. “We need to be realistic. The Terra you know could be gone forever, and I don’t… I’m not sure we’ll be getting out of here.”

“I refuse to believe that. I’m not giving up, and neither should you.” It just wasn’t in her nature.

“Aqua…” Vanitas’s golden eyes softened. Since when could his tone be so gentle? “It’s been three weeks. We haven’t found anything.”

“Three— Has it really been three weeks?” She sank further into the chair.

“I think so?” He tilted his head. “It’s kinda hard to tell without the sun.”

The sun… Just another thing she missed about the Realm of Light, along with the stars and clear blue skies, the birds singing and the wind in the trees… Aqua could barely remember what they sounded like, now. She had no idea how long she’d walked the empty, silent forests of the Dark World before meeting Vanitas. 

Aqua curled her arms around herself. “It’s strange. It hasn’t even been a month since we met down here, but it feels like it’s been so much longer than that… It’s almost as if I’ve lost my perception of time.”

“That’s not surprising, seeing as time doesn’t actually exist down here,” Vanitas mused lightly before taking on a more ominous tone. “Maybe in the Realm of Light, it’s been centuries since we’ve been away.”

_Centuries?!_

Aqua make a choking noise and stared at him in mortification.

“I’m joking!” he said quickly. “I told you, Ventus is still alive. Trust me, you’d know if he wasn’t.”

“That’s not funny!” His dark sense of humor still caught her off-guard sometimes. “But… you _will_ tell me, right? If something happens to Ven?”

“…Of course.”

Aqua nodded at that. He had been honest with her so far, though she did note the slight hesitation in his answer. She pulled out her journal and opened it to her notes. Vanitas peered at it curiously. 

“I decided to start keeping a journal— Or rather, I started writing in it again,” Aqua explained, running a finger down the page. “I’ve been keeping track of what we do, the Heartless we encounter, our food stockpile, where we’ve gone…”

“Well, we’ve cleared out the first three floors and most of the fourth,” Vanitas said. “I guess we could try exploring more of the upper levels, but I doubt there’s gonna be a way out of here up there.”

“I know… Maybe there’s some kind of dungeon? Some way underground?” she suggested.

His eyebrows creased. “What would be underground? We’re trying to get _out_ of hell, not go deeper.”

“I don’t know, but I’d feel like we were making progress if we weren’t stuck in one place.”

Vanitas hummed thoughtfully. “Well, as far as places to be stuck in go, the Castle is a pretty good spot. It could be worse. We could be in a cave somewhere, sleeping on rocks. I know I’ve had my fair share of that in the Badlands.”

“That is true… Maybe I should be looking more on the bright side of things.” Aqua sat up a little straighter and smiled broadly. “Hey, you just said something positive!”

“What?” He blinked, then scowled. “No I didn’t. Just ‘cause I said something could be worse doesn’t mean I’m being positive.”

“Uh huh, sure. So do you know a way to the lower floors?”

“I think I saw steps leading down next to the pantry,” Vanitas shrugged.

“Great, we’ll start there.” She put her journal away and stood up, adjusting her blue skirt.

“Are you sure you’re up for it?” he asked, slight worry lacing his tone.

Aqua placed her hands on her hips in mock indignation. “I’m a Keyblade Master. Of course I’m up to it.”

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

As she and Vanitas walked through the hallways down to the first floor, Aqua once again noticed the suits of armor lining the walls. They were completely motionless and silent, but the eerie feeling of being watched was back.

“Hey, Vanitas? I meant to ask you a few days ago… Have you seen anything strange around the Castle?”

“Huh?” He glanced over his shoulder at her. “Strange how?”

“Like objects moving around, or maybe you’ve felt like you’re being watched?” she elaborated.

“Hmm, can’t say that I have,” Vanitas said, raising an eyebrow before looking forwards again. “That kinda stuff happen to you?”

“It happened before we played Fruitball.”

“Maybe the Castle’s haunted,” he suggested darkly.

“What?!” Aqua sputtered.

“It’s obvious, ain’t it? When this World fell, the people lost their hearts and left their souls behind. The spirits of the damned probably still haunt these very halls.” Vanitas flashed a wicked grin, his slightly prominent canine teeth gleaming in the candlelight.

She frowned, eyes still wide. “…Don’t try to scare me like that.” He was being _especially_ not funny today.

Vanitas laughed. “What, is _Master_ Aqua afraid of ghosts?”

“N-no! Of course not. Who said I was afraid? Ghosts don’t exist.”

_…Do they?_

“And here I thought it was okay to be scared,” he teased. “Well, I ain’t afraid of no ghost.”

They continued through the kitchen, past the pantry and down a short flight of stairs into a wine cellar. Vanitas looked around disinterestedly at the barrels and wine racks, scratching at the red veins of his bodysuit. 

Aqua looked around a little more thoroughly, but came up with nothing. She absentmindedly shook a green wine bottle. Maybe the Castle wasn’t haunted necessarily, but she had still seen _something_ strange on her first day here. It wasn’t as if she’d forgotten about it; rather, she hadn’t wanted to _think_ about it— hadn’t wanted to know what it _meant,_ because if it had really been a ghost… Aqua set the wine bottle on the shelf with a sharp _clink._

Vanitas stopped picking at his bodysuit and looked up. “What’s wrong?”

Aqua took a deep breath. “I need to tell you something. I saw a… vision… of Terra, on the stairs to the ballroom.”

“…He’s been on your mind that much, lately?” Vanitas asked huffily, a slight bitterness tingeing his voice.

“No, this was when I first came to the Castle. It was so real and vivid… Like he was right there, like I could reach out and touch him.”

Vanitas scoffed. “You mean right before I found you half-starved and unconscious? I think that’s called a hallucination, Aqua.”

She shook her head. “There was another time when I saw Ven. I thought it was just a dream, but now I’m not so sure…”

He huffed again. “Obviously you’re just seeing things ‘cause you miss the two idiots. Or maybe the Realm of Darkness is playing tricks on your mind,” he said dismissively, before taking on a more serious tone. “You can’t go chasing after shadows.”

“But what if that really _was_ Terra, and he’s…” She couldn’t say it. Saying it would make the possibility all the more real.

Vanitas caught her meaning. “If Ventus isn’t dead, then why would Terra be? Xehanort would’ve skinned me alive if I even lay a finger on his chosen vessel. I’m sure he’s taking good care of Terra’s body, so don’t worry about him right now.”

Aqua sighed despondently. “I suppose you’re right…” That wasn’t exactly the most encouraging thought, but it was better than nothing.

Leaving the wine cellar and traveling down a couple of halls, they descended more stone steps and passed through a wooden door to find themselves in a pitch-black room. Aqua noticed for the first time how Vanitas’s yellow eyes glowed in the dark. It was kind of eerie, reminding her of wolves and other feral beasts.

She lit a Fire spell to illuminate the room. It was an armory. The firelight glinted off shiny swords and suits of armor mounted on wooden racks lining the stone walls. Walking just a little further in, Aqua was immediately accosted by the stench of Darkness. “What a horrible smell,” she said, covering her nose with a gloved hand. 

“It wasn’t me,” Vanitas said quickly. 

_Seriously?_

Aqua rolled her eyes. “Not you; I meant the Darkness.” 

“Oh.” He blinked and looked around. “It feels like it’s coming from all around us.” 

Vanitas was right about that, but there was nothing to be seen. Not a single Heartless, just swords and suits of armor. The way her Fire shone off the armor, it almost looked as if it were moving. Aqua bit her lip.

_Ghosts don’t exist._

She summoned Master Keeper just in case. Walking to the far end of the room she found something strange, a large double door of stone upon which was an embossed carving of two gargoyles. Aqua frowned. “Hey, Vanitas,” she called him over from where he was examining a rack of axes. “Look at this door. It’s so different from everything else we’ve seen in the Castle.” It was almost as if it didn’t belong.

Vanitas stepped in front of her and tried the handle. “Locked,” he muttered and summoned his Keyblade, pointing it at the door. “Alright, time to say open sesa— Aqua!”

In a blink, Vanitas was behind her, the clang of metal on metal reverberating in the air. She spun around to see he had flash-stepped behind her, his Keyblade locked with a sword which had no wielder attached. Her mouth went dry at the sight of it. The other swords rattled and shook on the racks as they came to life. They floated in the air, swiping and stabbing at her. Aqua fended them off but more joined the fray, a frenzied flurry of sword strikes from an unseen enemy. There were far, far too many. 

She backed up into Vanitas and cast a Barrier spell around the both of them, the swords bouncing off the pink bubble of protective magic. The Barrier wasn’t meant to encapsulate more than one person so she found herself pressed with her back against his. Aqua shuddered at the feeling of half-summoned Unversed crawling and writhing against her spine. 

“Alright Aqua, you’ve convinced me; ghosts are real. Now have you got any bright ideas that _don’t_ involve waking the dead?!” Vanitas asked with a mixture of sarcasm and panic.

Aqua flinched as something sharp jabbed into her back. Unversed claws, no doubt. That gave her an idea. “Vanitas, can you summon some kind of armored Unversed? Maybe a Buckle Bruiser?”

She felt him shake his head, the metal of his helmet rubbing against the back of her neck. “I don’t think it’ll be able to cram in here with us, and it’ll take more than a few seconds to make one if you let down that Barrier.”

Aqua couldn’t move with the Barrier cast, either. It was one flaw in the spell she’d never been able to overcome. The wielder-less swords were chipping away at the magic bubble. This wasn’t the same as the vines. Those she could cut and burn; swords were metal. 

“I’m not going to be able to hold this much longer,” she warned him. The spell was eating away at her Mana. It really wasn’t meant to be held this long…

“Fuck this.” Vanitas suddenly grabbed her wrist and and spun around, positioning himself in front of her. “Remember the tornadoes in the Graveyard? And the Keyblades, when they flew?” he asked, glancing up at her over his shoulder.

Of course she did, but why would he—? Oh. Oh no.

“…You can _not_ be serious,” Aqua groaned.

“Aqua, do you trust me?” There was an intense glint of determination in his golden eyes.

_Was this how he looked when he carried me out of those vines?_

Aqua wet her dry lips and met his gaze. “Okay. I trust you.”

“Then come on, let’s move,” he said, tugging on her arm.

Aqua dismissed the Barrier. Not a second later, the swords dived straight for them. Her hair suddenly whooshed around her face as Vanitas’s Aeroga spell took effect, sweeping the swords into a raging funnel cloud around them. A very pointy funnel cloud. 

Vanitas took a step forward, and then another, his hand never leaving her wrist as he lead her through the eye of the storm and towards the armory entrance. Aqua flinched as one sword buzzed dangerously close to her ear. Another almost sliced through a lock of hair. But none could fully penetrate the wind barrier. 

When the magical wind began to die down, Aqua cast her own Aeroga to keep the swords at bay. She and Vanitas alternated casting, walking steadily towards the door. Vanitas’s gaze never strayed from their target. Aqua could’ve sworn she saw a glimmer of yellow eyes in the storm, but maybe it was just his eyes reflecting off the swords.

Finally they reached the exit and slammed the door behind themselves, and not a moment too soon. Vanitas hopped back as a sword pierced through the wooden door, followed by a barrage of others. Aqua wasn’t quite quick enough and one of the swords pierced her side. She fell to the stone floor with a sharp cry. 

“Aqua?!” Vanitas was at her side in an instant. “Are you okay?”

Wincing, Aqua placed pressure on the wound. It wasn’t deep, but it was bleeding a lot. Great, she would have to replace her clothes _again._ “I’ll be alright,” she reassured him. “It looks worse than it is, just give me a second to regain my Mana.”

“Why wait?” Vanitas said, hovering his hand over her wound and casting Cure.

To her surprise, the wound sealed completely, and the pain was reduced far more than it had the first time he’d used that spell. “You’re really getting the hang of that.”

Vanitas smirked. The glow of the healing magic reflected in his eyes, turning them an impish green. “Let’s see… How many times have I saved your life, now?” he drawled playfully, pushing himself to his feet.

Aqua rolled her eyes. She seemed to have picked up that bad habit from him. “That was rather reckless of you.”

“If ‘reckless’ is another word for _‘awesome’.”_ Vanitas folded his arms behind his head and grinned.

Aqua startled and stared at him in shock. His stance and expression looked so much like Ven…

“What’s wrong?” he asked, hands falling to his sides. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

As if on cue, the swords started rattling against the wood, causing the door to vibrate on its hinges. Giving the door a wary glance, Vanitas offered Aqua his hand, easily pulling her to her feet before quickly letting go. 

“What are we gonna do about that?” he asked, nodding towards the door.

“…I think I have an idea,” Aqua replied. “Stand back.” 

Vanitas obeyed and Aqua stood in front of the door, pointing Master Keeper at it and closing her eyes. Golden chains sprouted from the Keyblade’s tip, crisscrossing over the door and holding fast.

“How’d you learn that?!” Vanitas asked in awe.

“Master Keeper isn’t just good for opening locks. Master Eraqus taught me how to create locks with it. It’s how I sealed away Ven—” Aqua stopped suddenly. Perhaps she’d imagined it, but she thought she saw Vanitas’s yellow eyes flash brightly at the mention of Ventus’s name. “Anyway, it’s a much more permanent solution than a Bind spell. Only Master Keeper will be able to unlock it.”

“Only Master Keeper, huh?” he muttered before turning to her with a sardonic smile. “So… about them ghosts…”

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

“This is hopeless!” Vanitas groaned. They’d been looking through a dozen books on ghosts, spirits, hauntings, and exorcisms for hours. Everything involved either crackpot conspiracy theories, chants in foreign languages, or strange rituals they didn’t have the ingredients for. Nothing that could kill a ghost. How the hell were they supposed to kill something that was already dead?

“Maybe we need a break,” Aqua suggested.

“Maybe we need to give this up entirely.” Vanitas snapped the book shut. “I can’t believe you seriously wanna go back there. Since when do you got a death wish?”

“I’m not just going to sit around and wait for this place to kill us. I think we’ve forgotten that while this Castle _is_ better than nothing, we’re still in the Dark World. This Realm wasn’t made for beings of Light. Or _you,”_ she amended before he could correct her. “There’s something behind that door, I just know it.”

“You really think that’s our ticket out of here?” Vanitas asked, scooping up some darts from the table. Their scores were written on a piece of paper that they had pinned to the wall next to the dartboard. Aqua was currently in the lead and he intended to correct that.

“What else could it be?” she asked, leaning against the table to watch. The Archraven he’d tasked to tail her the past week flew over and perched on a chair next to her.

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe that door is locked for a _reason?_ Who knows what could be lurking behind it.” He closed one eye and lined up a dart.

“The Realm of Light,” Aqua answered simply.

“Doubtful.” His first dart glanced off of the double ring.

“Another World in the Realm of Darkness, then. It’s obviously not part of the Castle of Dreams. It could be some kind of portal.”

“Or it’s just a fancy door.”

“Why are you being so argumentative about this?” she asked, frowning deeply. “Don’t you want to go back to the Realm of Light?”

_Did_ he? Vanitas averted his eyes. Master Keeper was apparently the only way to unlock wherever Ventus was hiding, but he couldn’t just steal it from her. It wasn’t as if Eraqus’s former Keyblade would obey his commands. And he still didn’t know where his other half was. What could he do, follow Aqua when she went to wake up Ventus? And then what? She wouldn’t back down without a fight, and Vanitas knew that when she did… it would be to the death.

He didn’t want either of them to die.

But if he let her go then she would drop this little charade and abandon him for her real friends. Not to mention, if Aqua went after Terra —which knowing her she _would—_ then Xehanort would kill her for sure; amnesiac or not. In fact, it wouldn’t be safe for either of them to return to the Realm of Light, not with his former Master still on the loose.

_…Former Master? Is that all he is to you now? He made you, he raised you, you ungrateful—_

“Xehanort’s still up there,” he said, just to block out the noise in his head. “It’s too dangerous to go back.”

Aqua’s eyes softened, the pity _—concern, sympathy—_ plain on her face. “Vanitas… what did he do to you?”

“I told you. He tore me apart. Forced me to fight the Heartless. Made me sleep in the dirt.” Vanitas turned his attention back to the dartboard.

“There must be more to it than just that.”

“No.”

“But—”

“Drop it,” he growled as his second dart hit the triple ring. Xehanort was far away now. He didn’t want to remember; he’d rather forget. “I don’t want your pity. I’m not that easy to break.”

Oh, but he was. He had been broken again and again; it was the reason he was in this mess.

“Vanitas, I want to help you,” Aqua pleaded. “I can’t if you won’t tell me what happened.”

He shook his head. “It’s not that simple. If you wanna change the past, then you’re four years too late.”

“It’s _not_ too late,” she insisted. “You knew the Light once, when you were Ventus. You can find it again.”

“Well I’m _not_ Ventus!” he suddenly shouted and rounded on her, rage pulsing through his veins. “And maybe I don’t _want_ Light, did you ever think of that?!” He hurled his last dart into the board with a loud _thunk._ He barely even registered that it had hit the bullseye.

Aqua looked taken aback. “That’s not true. You crave the Light; I know you do.”

Vanitas snickered darkly. “You know what else craves the Light? That would jump at the chance to devour a heart as Light as yours? You said it yourself; a heart of Darkness is no different than a Heartless.”

Her face flushed. “Vanitas, I didn’t— That’s not what I meant. You’re not a Heartless.”

“Then what am I?” he sneered. 

“You’re human.”

That didn’t have the effect on him he was sure she wanted. Vanitas cackled mirthlessly. “You’ve gotta be kidding! Last time I checked, humans don’t create monsters out of every negative emotion they feel.”

“Every _negative_ emotion?” she muttered to herself.

His yellow eyes narrowed. “Have you forgotten already? How many times do I have to tell you; I’m a heart of _pure. Fucking. Darkness.”_ Nothing she did could change that. He didn’t _want_ her to change that.

“I don’t believe that!” Aqua said earnestly. “I think deep down, even if you don’t realize it yet, there _is_ Light in you.”

“Shut up! That’s a fucking lie!” Vanitas snapped. Why couldn’t she just drop this crazy theory?

It looked like Aqua’s temper finally got the best of her. “It is _not_ a lie!” she shouted. The Archraven began to caw loudly, feeding off the negative emotions swirling within her heart. Vanitas silenced it with a bolt of Dark Thunder. Aqua flinched before continuing. “Vanitas, can’t you see what the Darkness has done to you?”

“What it’s _done_ to me? I _am_ Darkness!” His heart, his body, his soul… Whether ripped straight out of Ventus or fashioned from the ambient Darkness of the Badlands, every fiber of his being was born from Darkness. “You think I’m Ventus, but I’m not! I’ll never be Ventus again! I’m not… I’m not a replacement.” His anger finally deflated, but the misery that superseded it was somehow worse.

Aqua’s next words were quiet, almost a whisper. “I know you’re not a replacement. I never wanted you to be. I want you to be _you.”_

“Sure,” he snorted half-heartedly. “That’s why you don’t want me to be Dark.”

“I just don’t want you to hurt anymore! Is that so unbelievable?”

Vanitas didn’t know _what_ to believe anymore. Having Light, not having Light, whether that was bad or good… Blue Sea Salts and Triple Wreckers and Red Hot Chilis scraped at his arteries, begging for release. He pushed them down as deeply as he could, sealing off his emotions until he was numb. “What if I said Ventus needed more Darkness in him?” Vanitas asked in a tone that was emotionless, detached, and cold. It was all he could do to hold the Unversed at bay.

Aqua gave a half-suppressed shudder. “Isn’t that what you tried already?”

“It’s just a ‘what if’ scenario,” he snapped icily. “Fine, what if I said _Cinderella_ needed to have more Darkness in her? That I needed to flush out her Light? Replace it with Darkness?”

“That’s horrible.”

“And what you want for me isn’t?”

“No, I—” She shook her head. “Light and Darkness aren’t the same. Darkness, it’s— it’s _dangerous._ In the wrong hands, it can cause _terrible_ things. It hurt Terra and it’s hurting you, too. If you would just let the Light in—”

“Let it _in?”_ he scoffed loudly. He’d had Light in him plenty of times, and it had always been painful, only seldom pleasant. But those times it _had_ been pleasurable were enough to make him crave it despite the pain, like a horribly addictive drug. Maybe, just maybe, if Aqua didn’t completely hate the Darkness, if she even had the same sick sort of longing for the Darkness that he did for the Light, then maybe he could believe her; maybe he could trust her to give him Light.

Unless she had been lying to him.

“And here I thought Darkness ‘wasn’t all bad’. That _is_ what you said, isn’t it?” he asked, testing her. “If Light is so great, then why is Darkness in everything?”

She bit her lip. “I… _did_ say that, but…”

“But _what?”_

Aqua looked him straight in the eyes, sparkling blue on Darkness-induced yellow. “Light is in everything, too,” she whispered, as if that were some major revelation.

“Everything but me,” he countered coldly.

Apparently that still hadn’t deterred her. “That’s exactly why I need to help you. I wasn’t there for Terra; I let him go astray. But I _am_ here for you. I know you can push back the Darkness.” Aqua held out her hand. “Please Vanitas, let me help you.”

So she _had_ been lying. Why had he expected anything different? He shouldn’t be so disappointed. Vanitas glared at her open palm. “Is that you talking, or your Master?” 

Aqua’s eyes widened.

He sighed and turned away from her, going to retrieve the darts out of the board. “The Light hates me,” he murmured, just loud enough for her to hear. “It _hurts_ me as much as I crave it. It rejects me; it never stays… The Light can’t be trusted. And just ‘cause people like Eraqus think that Darkness— that _I_ shouldn’t exist… I thought you were different, Aqua.”

“Vanitas, I—”

“You know what? Forget it. The score’s even, now.” He wrenched the darts out of the board so hard they took chunks of cork with them, and deposited them on the table next to her. One dart rolled off and clattered to the floor. “I’m going for a walk,” he said gruffly.

“Wait—!” She reached out for him, fingertips just brushing against his Dark Suit. 

Vanitas snarled instinctively and slapped her hand away. Aqua gasped and drew it back to her chest, clutching that silver pendant she always wore— the one that resembled the one on her Wayfinder. His own chest felt heavy with a mixture of Jealousy and Regret. He turned to leave before he could hurt her any further.

“Vanitas wait, I’m sorry!” 

He paused in the doorframe at the sound of her pleading voice, looking back at Aqua. Her blue eyes were glistening with unfallen tears. “…I’ll see you at dinner,” Vanitas mumbled to the hardwood. He almost stayed. 

Almost.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Dinner that evening was an uncharacteristically silent affair. Vanitas hardly spoke, though he did eat. Of course, he probably would’ve eaten anything Aqua put in front of him. After a rather awkward goodnight, she left for a sewing room the two of them had previously discovered on the fourth floor.

Aqua sat at a wooden table and laid out some sewing equipment— scissors, needles, and thread. She wore a borrowed indigo nightgown while she stitched up the hole in her corset where the haunted sword had sliced through. 

Aqua pulled the needle through the fabric, a flash of silver metal and black thread. It reminded her of Vanitas’s curious bodysuit, that mesh of black, veinlike fibers. It seemed magical in nature —perhaps even woven from Darkness itself— and was able to stitch itself up automatically, at least from what she’d observed. It must be nice, not having to repair one’s clothes manually. 

Was that why Vanitas wore it all the time? Or… could he not take it off? That seemed unlikely, since he could remove his mask. Maybe he just didn’t _want_ to take it off. Although… Aqua had noticed him scratching and picking at it multiple times. If the bodysuit was really that uncomfortable, wouldn’t he rather wear something else? There were plenty of clothes in the Castle, and she knew Vanitas had no qualms against stealing.

What purpose did the bodysuit serve in covering him from jaw to toe, especially when it didn’t offer much in the way of defense? Was he hiding something underneath all that Darkness? His face was human, but what about the rest of him? The way he’d laughed when she had called him human, that horrible sound she hadn’t heard in weeks… Vanitas _was_ human, wasn’t he? He’d come from Ven, so he had to be… 

Except —even discounting his Unversed— Vanitas still had almost unnatural strength, teeth just a little too sharp, and glowing yellow eyes just like the Heartless. Aqua thought of the pitch-black, semifluid skin of the Heartless and the thick, rubbery hides of the Unversed. Was that what his body was like underneath that bodysuit? Twisted, deformed, marred by Darkness?

She startled as she accidentally pricked her finger on the sewing needle and instinctively put it in her mouth, tasting the faint tang of copper.

_‘Monsters don’t bleed red, right?’_

…And Vanitas’s blood was as red as hers. Aqua pulled her finger from her mouth and bit her lip, ashamed of herself for thinking of him as if he was some sort of monster. He needed to eat and breathe and sleep just like her, and he could talk and think and feel… Even if Vanitas wasn’t entirely human, he was close enough.

Still, he _was_ hiding something from her, something involving his past with Master Xehanort. Whatever Xehanort had done to him had left some sort of psychological damage or deep emotional scar, enough to make Vanitas terrified of returning to the Realm of Light. This went further than breaking his heart; Xehanort had damaged Vanitas’s _soul._

Was he really less a victim of the Darkness, and more a victim of Xehanort? Aqua had thought of the two as one in the same. Xehanort had tricked Terra into falling to Darkness, and in turn Darkness had corrupted Terra’s heart.

Aqua had thought she’d known hatred. She had felt it for the Heartless and the Realm of Darkness, for Vanitas and Xehanort both. But the Heartless ran on pure instinct and the Dark World was just a place— albeit a horrible one, and she had stopped hating Vanitas a long time ago. He couldn’t help what he was, yet had become someone she trusted and relied on, who in turn very much relied on her. But Master Xehanort… 

Xehanort had _chosen_ the Darkness, _chosen_ to hurt her family, and _chosen_ to steal away Vanitas’s Light. And she hated him for it all.

Could Light fix the damage done to Vanitas’s heart? Or was he really too far gone? If the Light really did hurt him as he claimed, then had Aqua been hurting him this entire time? No, she couldn’t have been, otherwise he wouldn’t seek out her company, wouldn’t be so happy. Pain wasn’t something Vanitas could easily disguise, not even with that frighteningly frigid tone he sometimes slipped into. Still, maybe she really _had_ been presumptuous in assuming he had, wanted, or needed Light.

Ventus had called her ‘awful’ when she’d chastised Terra for his Darkness, for walking his own path. More than anything, that was what had hurt the most. He’d said she had let her new authority as Keyblade Master ‘go to her head’. Did she really have the same obsession with power that Master Eraqus had warned Terra about? Did Vanitas think she was trying to control him? Was she?

_I need to apologize._

Aqua finished the final stitch and set down her corset on the table, the chair legs screeching against the wooden floor as she stood up and stretched. An icy chill blew through her thin nightgown as she entered the hallway. Aqua hugged her arms around herself. The curtains at the far end of the hall were fluttering in the breeze. It was just a draft. She approached the window to close it but then stopped dead in her tracks.

The Realm of Darkness had no wind.

In a flash of white a robed figure appeared on the balcony railing. Aqua screamed and jumped back, Master Keeper appearing in her hand. The figure didn’t move. It was a man, his black hair flecked with grey and pulled back into a high ponytail. He regarded her with a stern expression.

_“Master?!”_ Her— no, her _Master’s_ Keyblade fell from her fingers and clattered against the tile.

_“Aqua.”_ Master Eraqus’s voice sounded distant and echoed, as if through water.

“Master—! How… You spoke…!” She reached out for his hand but met empty air. Or rather, her hand passed right through his. Aqua gasped and drew her hand back. Of course; Master Eraqus was dead. But… he was here. He was _here._ “I am so, so sorry…” In a way, it was her fault the Master was dead. If she had only taken better care of Terra and Ven—

_“Aqua, I named you Keyblade Master for a reason. You were tasked with striking down any who would upset the balance of Light and Darkness. You failed.”_

She gaped at him. “Master…”

_“I instructed you to watch Terra, and he murdered me because you were too weak or foolish to stop him. I told you to bring Ventus home, but you allowed his heart to be shattered and lost. You failed your duty as Keyblade Master.”_ He pointed to Master Keeper, where it lay dead on the cold floor. _“That Keyblade is not yours to bear. Return it to me at once, and revoke your title as Master.”_

Aqua choked in horror. “I— No Master, please—!”

_“Silence.”_ His dark blue eyes narrowed. _“Or perhaps you wanted this, wanted the Darkness to consume Terra so you could feel superior to him. You always did believe you were the better student.”_

Aqua wanted to deny it. She couldn’t have grown that arrogant without realizing it, could she? Could she really be so blind? Her entire life had always revolved around her boys, her friends, her family. She cared for them dearly, but it hadn’t been enough to save them, hadn’t been enough to protect their hearts…

_And now I’m failing Vanitas._

_“Ah yes, Vanitas… The boy in the mask. A demon of Darkness,”_ the Master said disdainfully. _“That you, my only daughter, would consort with such a monster is… despicable. You have betrayed the Light, and me; rejected everything I have taught you, become a disgrace to all Keyblade Wielders. I wonder… was it truly Terra who fell to Darkness, or you?”_

“No…” Aqua moaned weakly. How did he know about Vanitas? Had he been watching her this entire time? She felt faint, dropping down on her hands and knees and curling in upon herself. A heavy weight pressed in on her chest. It was so _cold._

_This can’t be happening._

_“Perhaps you require more time to consider your folly.”_ He took a step backwards off the balcony rail.

“Wait, no!” Aqua scrambled up to grab his robes, but her hands phased straight through him as he plummeted off the railing. She peered over the side in horror, but there was no body on the ground below. He had vanished into the still air, gone without a trace that he had ever existed. Either Aqua had gone mad, or Master Eraqus’s spirit was haunting her. 

And he was furious.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Vanitas returned to the second-floor the bedroom he had claimed for himself, removing his helmet and placing it on the bedside table next to the constellation book he’d stolen from the library. He flopped down on the bed and stared into the mask’s dark visor, the yellow glow of his own eyes reflecting off its glassy surface.

Why did Aqua have to be so confusing? Why couldn’t she understand? Why did she have to try to uproot everything he was?

_It’s your fault you let this happen,_ a silky, slimy voice whispered. _You let her twist your mind and poison your heart. If you just kill her—_

“SHUT UP!” he screamed, covering his ears in a vain effort to block out the voice. Why couldn’t everyone just _shut up_ and give him some damn _peace?!_

Is that what he wanted? Peace? Would becoming whole give him peace? Would having Light give him peace? Vanitas didn’t do peace. He did conflict and violence. He didn’t know anything else— _hadn’t_ known anything else, until Aqua had shown it to him. Until she had made him _happy._

Vanitas pressed his hands over his face. He felt horribly confused. His entire identity was wrapped up in being pure Darkness, fighting the Light, forging the X-Blade… But now, a Wielder of Light was his companion; his ally. The X-Blade was out of his reach, likely forever… Unless that door really _was_ the way to the Light.

He was terrified of it, honestly; terrified to go through that door. Once he did, if it really led to the Realm of Light, he would become nothing to Aqua. Little more than a shadow in her memory, or perhaps more like a nightmare she would forget in that Realm’s morning Light.

“No…” Vanitas moaned into his hands. “Aqua doesn’t think that. She doesn’t hate me…”

_Aqua lied to you; she still hates the Darkness. But why should that matter? Why should you give a shit what she thinks?_

“I don’t _know,_ okay!” He pulled on fistfuls of his black hair so hard that it hurt. _“I don’t fucking know!”_

But he did know. It was because he wanted Aqua to be more than just an ally. He wanted her to be his _friend._ Friendship was folly. Friendship got you killed. But now he found that friendship was something he wanted just as much as being whole.

Vanitas was crazy. He knew he was, lying here and arguing with himself in the dark.

Triple Wreckers, Blue Sea Salts, and Scrappers hopped, floated, and cowered around the room but he was too exhausted to clean up his wayward emotions. In fact, Vanitas was so tired he hadn’t even noticed them escaping his heart. His hands relaxed and fell to his sides. Restrained tears burned his eyes, whether from pain or sorrow didn’t really matter. He hadn’t cried in a long time, and he wouldn’t start now. Just as his eyelids felt heavy and he began to slip into his usual nightmares, there was a loud knock on the door.

“Vanitas! _Vanitas!”_

He jumped to his feet at the sound of Aqua’s urgent cries and quickly reabsorbed the Unversed, stumbling to the door as the Confusion and Sorrow and Loneliness hit him all at once. Vanitas threw open the door and blinked blearily up at her. “Aqua, what the hell—?” He stopped mid-sentence as he noticed the tears welling in her eyes. “What happened?”

“I… He…” She burst into tears.

_Not again…_

Aqua just stood there trembling in the doorway, dressed in an indigo nightgown she must’ve stolen from one of the wardrobes. If he didn’t know better, he’d say she was trying to hold back from just hugging him right then and there. 

“Uh… come in?” he offered uncertainly and stood aside to let Aqua pass. She slumped down on the bed, one hand covering her face as she silently sobbed. Closing the door behind himself with a soft _click,_ Vanitas stood in the middle of the bedroom, staring at her awkwardly. 

What should he do? Everything he’d done the last time she had been like this hadn’t worked… not until he’d mentioned _Ventus,_ anyway. That idiot was too busy sleeping to help his friend; Vanitas would just have to do his job for him. Food always cheered him up, and while he couldn’t cook, he had the next best thing. 

Reaching into the drawer of the bedside table, Vanitas pulled out his personal stash of Prize Pod food— perfect for late-night snacking. Aqua blinked as he dumped a whole pile of Merry Mints, four sticky cubes of Galactic Caramel, a half-finished jar of Golden Jam, and two glass bottles of Crystal Soda on the bed beside her.

“Here.” He popped the cap off a Crystal Soda and handed her the bottle. “I hope you don’t mind drinking something made of negativity.”

“I think I’ll be fine,” she almost smiled and took a sip of Soda. Apparently he’d done something right because her tears weren’t flowing as freely.

_Point one for Vanitas._

Maybe he’d add that to the dartboard tally when she wasn’t looking.

Sitting on the bed with the snack pile between them, he took the jar of Golden Jam and scooped some out, licking the sweet vanilla goo off his fingers. Aqua wrinkled her nose.

“What? You want some?” he asked, tilting the jar towards her.

“No thanks; I’d rather not get sick.”

What, did she think he was carrying some sort of disease? Just because he used to live like an animal didn’t mean he was rabid. “Whatever, more for me then,” Vanitas shrugged and continued to stuff his face full of Jam.

The corners of Aqua’s mouth twitched upwards and she wiped the remaining tears from her eyes. Vanitas was hesitant to ask what she’d been crying about. It was probably about her stupid friends again, and he had nothing nice to say about that particular subject. Besides, he didn’t want to upset her now. That smile on her face… It felt good to see it. He used to find pleasure in other people’s pain, but now… Maybe he really _did_ have Light.

Ignoring his inner Darkness’s screams of protest, Vanitas breathed in slowly and was instantly met with the sweet scent of Aqua’s Light, a pleasant mixture of Rose Honey and Cherryberry. His nose only tingled a little bit, a far cry from the burning sensation he used to feel. Then it hit him, the stirring of the mysterious Hunger deep down in his heart. He coughed out Aqua’s scent before it could affect him further. She was eyeing him strangely. “I’m not sick,” he said immediately.

“Uh huh.” Aqua rolled her eyes but her smile grew brighter; with it her Light grew all the more sweet.

Vanitas found himself grinning along with her. He set the jar aside and licked his fingers clean, wiping the back of his hand across his sticky mouth. “See, isn’t that better? Keyblade Masters shouldn’t cry.” 

Her smile immediately fell. How the hell had he fucked up this time?

“That’s just it,” she mumbled to the carpet. “You were right; I’m not worthy of being a Keyblade Master. I screwed everything up. I feel so… _worthless.”_

_Worthless? If anyone deserves to be called ‘worthless’ here, it’s me._

“Shut up. Don’t be stupid,” Vanitas growled.

Aqua stared at him in startled bewilderment. 

“Not that you’re stupid, I mean,” he corrected quickly. “It’s just… you shouldn’t say that kinda shit about yourself ‘cause it ain’t true. You’re crazy strong and brilliant at magic. What I said about Keyblade Mastery being a sham, well… it _is,_ but that doesn’t mean _you’re_ a sham, you know? And if you wanna talk about screw-ups, well, _I’m_ the most screwed up of them all.”

She blinked.

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Shit, I’m terrible with words, aren’t I. I wish I could just kill all your problems.”

Aqua made a small noise of amusement. “You’re doing just fine, Vanitas. I appreciate it, really.” She plucked a Galactic Caramel off the bed and popped it into her mouth. “This is really good,” she mumbled with her mouth full. Aqua really _must_ be upset if she was neglecting her manners— not that Vanitas minded.

“Glad to know I’m good for something,” he said before wincing. He hadn’t meant for that to come out as depressed and sarcastically as it had.

Aqua frowned even as she took another sip of Crystal Soda. “Are the Unversed really only made from negative emotions?”

“Yeah,” he answered the unexpected question, tilting his head curiously. “Why?”

“It’s just… you’re making them all the time. Do you really feel negative emotions that often?”

“Kinda goes hand-in-hand with the whole pure Darkness thing,” he shrugged.

“And the Light—?”

“Hurts like hell.”

“I’m sorry,” Aqua apologized for the umpteenth time. 

“It’s not your fault,” Vanitas sighed in exasperation. Why did she keep thinking she was to blame for all his suffering? Well, other than the time she’d killed him, of course. 

Aqua tried one of the Merry Mints, next. “Do you think if no one had healed Ven’s heart, he would be able to make some kind of… positive Unversed?”

Vanitas shook his head. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t considered the possibility of Unversed made out of positive emotions; it just didn’t happen. “I doubt it. He’d probably have just died.”

“…What would happen to you if he did?”

He raised an eyebrow. “I’m not especially eager to find out.” Not that his murderous instinct towards his other half hadn’t made him attempt to kill Ventus in the past.

“Of course.” Aqua finished off her Crystal Soda. Vanitas grabbed the second one before she could take it for herself. Sure, he was willing to share, but that didn’t mean she got to have _all_ his food.

Honestly this was all too strange. Aqua waking him up in the middle of the night, crying for no reason, asking him strange questions… Was she still upset from earlier? Probably, even though _he_ should really be the one crying after what she’d said to him. 

“So what brings you to my humble abode?” he asked teasingly. “I doubt you came here for a midnight snack, even if the food _is_ pretty damn good.” He took a swig of Crystal Soda. Sweet fizziness burst over his tongue, distracting him enough that he almost missed Aqua’s next words.

“…I saw Master Eraqus. Here, just now, in the Castle.”

Vanitas almost spat out his Soda. “What?!” he exclaimed after swallowing. “But he’s—!”

“I _know_ he’s dead,” Aqua interrupted. “But he was _here._ The Master _spoke_ to me; he said… horrible things.” She choked back a sob.

He narrowed his eyes. “He called you worthless?”

“Well, not in those exact words, no…”

“Bullshit,” Vanitas snapped. “What did he say?”

Aqua shook her head, kneading the fabric of her nightgown. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Whatever Eraqus had said to Aqua must’ve been truly awful if she was acting like this. Vanitas ground his teeth together, his grip tight enough to form a small crack in the Soda bottle. He knew anger. Next to loneliness, it was his most constant companion… But he had never felt angry _for_ someone. Aqua was hurting on the inside, and her Master had caused it. Vanitas knew all too well what it was like to have a Master who caused pain. Instead of turning into a Bruiser, his Rage solidified into a strong sense of raw determination. 

“That’s it. I don’t care if this is a haunting or whatever. This ends now,” he assured her.

Aqua took in a sharp breath. “But— but if it’s the _Master—”_

“Master or not, I’m not gonna let some shitty ghost fuck with you.” Vanitas drained his Crystal Soda in one gulp and stood from the bed.

“I’ll go with you,” she said quickly.

“What, you’re just gonna charge in there on no sleep? We’ll handle this tomorrow.”

“What if he comes back?”

“You can sleep here tonight,” Vanitas said, gathering up the rest of the food and dumping it back into the drawer. 

Aqua bit her lip uncertainly. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I’ll be right across the hall if you need anything.” He opened the door to leave.

“Alright,” she nodded. “Thank you, Vanitas.” She let out a shaky breath that almost sounded like a laugh. “It seems we keep taking turns worrying about each other.”

Vanitas blinked slowly. “…You don’t have to waste time worrying about me.”

Aqua opened her mouth as if to protest, but then closed it and gave a small smile instead, though her eyes were sad. “I just want you to know… you’re not alone.”

He looked away. “Course I’m not. I have you.” _For now._ “‘Night, Aqua.”

“Goodnight,” she said softly, lying down on the bed.

Vanitas quietly closed the door behind him, a glare of determination spreading across his features.

_Eraqus, you’re gonna pay for this._


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning was all preparations, though Vanitas was ready right after breakfast. Aqua by contrast took forever getting dressed in the sewing room, and had screamed at him for some reason when he’d tried to enter to tell her to hurry it up. When she finally came out Vanitas handed her a couple of Vile Phials in case she ran out of Mana mid-battle. Aqua didn’t look particularly happy about it, but she did accept them when he pointed out their lack of Ethers.

Aqua was in better spirits than she had been last night, or at the very least not crying her eyes out, so she explained everything Eraqus’s ghost had said and done without hesitating too much. By the time she finished her story it was already afternoon.

“So your hand went straight through him? Like he wasn’t solid at all?” Vanitas asked, leaning against the kitchen counter.

“That’s right,” Aqua said, placing the last dirty dish from lunch into the sink.

“Hmm… That might actually be a good thing, if the ghosts can’t hurt us directly,” he mused. “They’d need to possess some object to do that— in this case, those swords.”

“So how do we fight them?” she asked, sitting at the servants’ table.

“We’ve gotta break whatever they’re attached to; release their hold on it.”

“Easier said than done.” Aqua crossed her arms. “How are we supposed to break metal?”

That was a good question. Thundaga would be useless. Firaga might make the metal malleable, but it would also be like handing the ghosts a hot poker. A Keyblade would be able to break an average steel sword with enough force, but not when there were dozens of them at a time. 

“Remember when Xehanort used Blizzaga to shatter Ventus’s Keyblade Armor?” Vanitas asked.

“It’s kind of hard to forget when your best friend is turned into a popsicle,” Aqua said dryly.

“Yeah, whatever,” he snorted at her defensiveness. As if Xehanort hadn’t shattered _his_ helmet dozens of times. “If Blizzaga can shatter _Keyblade Armor,_ what do you think it’ll do against regular swords?”

“We’d just end up with a bunch of smaller pieces— you know, _more_ swords for them to possess,” she pointed out.

“Not necessarily,” he countered. “If it comes to that, we’ll just cast Aeroga again and get out of there.”

“I don’t know… This isn’t much of a plan.”

Vanitas titled his head and gave her a lopsided grin. “Hey, who’s the smartest person you know?”

“I also said you’re impulsive,” she said with a wry smile.

He raised an eyebrow. “You got a better idea?”

Aqua sighed. “I suppose I don’t. It’s just…” She hesitated, gripping her upper arms a little more tightly. The Vile Phials squirmed where she’d tied them to her belt.

“Aqua?”

“…I don’t know if I can face the Master again,” she said in a half-whisper. “I’ve never seen him so angry. He didn’t even raise his voice, but what he said…”

“About you falling to Darkness? Bullshit. You’re about as Light as they come without being a Princess of Heart.” Vanitas tried to forget about the part where Eraqus had called him a monster.

Aqua blew out a breath of air and relaxed her arms at her sides. “I guess you’re right.”

“Of course I’m right.” He put on his best reassuring smile. “If he shows up again, I’ll fight him for you.” Terra managed to kill him, so the Light-blinded fool couldn’t be that tough. Plus, Eraqus was a ghost now. What could he possibly do?

Aqua still looked a little uncertain, but nodded all the same.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Walking down a couple of hallways and down a flight of steps brought them back to the armory. Vanitas and Aqua approached the door slowly. The golden chains still held fast but the swords were no longer embedded in the wood. They must’ve gone back to their places on the armory racks, or perhaps were lying in wait to attack once the door was opened. Either option, really.

“Remember— you cast Blizzaga, I’ll shatter them,” Vanitas said.

“I know,” Aqua replied. She took a deep breath and pointed Master Keeper at the chains, dissolving them into a golden mist. The door swung open to reveal the poorly lit armory, suits of armor and racks of swords sitting in the gloom. Aqua’s night vision must not have been nearly as exceptional as his because she lit a small orb of Fire and sent it inside to illuminate the room. Vanitas could already hear the faint rattling of swords.

The two Wielders stepped inside, Keyblades bared. A couple of swords lifted themselves off the racks and into the air, spinning to point their blades directly at them. Vanitas readied his stance as Aqua shifted beside him, the Vile Phials clinking together at her hip.

“Steady,” he muttered under his breath as three more swords joined the first two.

The tension was suddenly cut as all five swords rocketed towards them. Vanitas barely had time to shout, “Now!” before Aqua cast Blizzaga and a Barrier spell in quick succession. One frozen sword shattered against the Barrier, releasing a puff of wispy black smoke while the others glanced off it, wobbling and spinning in the air as if disorientated. 

She released the Barrier and Vanitas sprang forwards, slicing through another frozen sword with an audible _snap._ More smoke poured out of it. The other three twisted in the air, two aimed at him and one at Aqua. The swords’ movements were sluggish, and he easily caught one between Void Gear’s teeth and smashed it against the stone wall. 

He turned around to see Aqua had already broken her sword in half, smoke also raising from its shattered pieces. The last sword hovered in the air, twitching side-to-side as though observing them before fleeing further into the armory.

Vanitas chuckled darkly. “Looks like the ghosts are afraid of _us,_ now.”

“What’s with all the smoke?” Aqua asked, frowning as it curled around the shards of broken sword.

“Must be the ghost. Maybe it’s trying to possess the sword again, but can’t.” The smoke suddenly shifted, slithering low to the ground in the same direction the other sword had fled. 

She glanced at Vanitas. “You think it went to possess another sword?”

“Probably, but that won’t save it,” he smiled wickedly.

Vanitas and Aqua walked further in, but nothing attacked them this time. They passed rows of armor and weapons, but everything was silent save for their footsteps. The ghosts were hiding, obviously too chickenshit to show themselves now that they were on the losing end. Vanitas had the distinct sensation of being a predator stalking prey… Oh how he had _missed_ this feeling. A creak from behind signaled an incoming attack. He spun around, Keyblade clashing against a battle-axe, this one wielded by an empty suit of armor. 

“Getting creative, are we?” he smirked.

“Vanitas, step back!” Aqua called out. 

He quickly backpedaled out of range just as her Blizzaga spell hit the suit of armor, frosting it over. It slowly swung the axe in a wide arc, armor creaking as it did so, but Vanitas easy sidestepped, twirling Void Gear in his hand. “Too slow,” he laughed.

“Would you just destroy it,” Aqua said exasperatedly. 

“Oh fine, but you’re spoiling the fun.” He rolled his eyes before plunging his Keyblade through the brittle armor. More black smoke wisped out as the armor crashed to the floor.

Aqua watched the smoke slink away, shaking her head. “I don’t like this.”

“What’s wrong? Not enough of a challenge?”

“Yes, but not in the way you’re thinking. Are they just going to keep possessing everything in the room until we destroy it all?”

“Probably,” he shrugged, then grinned. “Good thing destruction’s my forte.”

Vanitas and Aqua moved through the armory, freezing and smashing weapons and armor, whether possessed or not. The black smoke began to fill the room, along with mountains of ice crystals from Aqua’s near-constant casting of Blizzaga. The temperature was dropping quickly. Aqua closed her eyes and hugged her arms around herself, shivering near the magical Fire she had cast earlier. 

Vanitas supposed he was lucky his Dark Suit kept in most of his body heat— perfect for cold nights in the Badlands. The frost was covering the floor and sticking to his boots, and he could see both his and Aqua’s breaths now, pale fog mingling with black smoke. The smoke coalesced and condensed into several hovering black spheres, each with a pair of gleaming yellow eyes and a jagged mouth.

“Of course!” Vanitas slapped a hand to his forehead, disturbing the dusting of snowflakes in his hair. “How could I have been so _stupid?!”_

Aqua opened her eyes, blinking frost from her eyelashes. “What h-happened?” she asked, teeth chattering.

“Aqua, they’re not ghosts. They’re Heartless!”

“So we can k-kill them?”

“Exactly.”

“Oh, thank the Light,” she said, but didn’t move from her spot near the Fire.

The Heartless —Possessors, Vanitas decided to call them— shivered and twitched as they floated sluggishly through the air. It seemed they didn’t like the cold, either. Vanitas lazily cut them down one by one, each Heartless dissolving in a puff of smoke. The last Possessor seemed a little less disorientated than the others and tried to take a bite out of his arm.

Vanitas just laughed. “That ain’t gonna work,” he told it before slicing Void Gear through its face and grinning back at Aqua. Her eyes were closed again. “Hey, are you okay?” he asked, walking over to her. She was starting to look a little blue. Well, bluer than usual.

“Mhm?” Aqua blinked down at him. “It’s c-cold.”

“Yeah…” Vanitas felt a twinge of regret for letting her be cold for longer than she needed to be. “Well, the Heartless are gone now so… how about we warm up the place before you freeze to death?”

“Oh, I thought you’d never ask,” she sighed in relief and cast Fira to melt the ice. Vanitas joined his own Dark Fira to hers, the orange and black flames mixing together before dying down again. They were left with a wet, trashed armory of broken bits of metal.

Vanitas shook some of the dampness out of his hair and inspected a shard of sword with his boot. “That was too easy. I thought I was gonna get a real fight.”

Aqua tucked a wet strand of hair behind her ear. “Just be glad your plan actually worked.”

“Yeah,” he agreed mildly, eyeing her. She was soaking wet— definitely worse off when it came to clothing. His Dark Suit was waterproof, not that he’d been in water more than a few times in his life. At least Aqua had stopped shivering. 

Vanitas turned his attention to the large stone door. It was decorated with a carving of two gargoyles. Aqua had been right. It really didn’t look like anything else in the Castle of Dreams, more like it had been transplanted here from another World entirely. 

_The Realm of Light._

Vanitas swallowed thickly. This was it. Once they walked beyond that threshold, his life with Aqua would end. She would abandon him, no matter if he took Ventus’s heart or not. She would die, either by his hand or Xehanort’s. Vanitas realized his arms were shaking, his whole body trembling. All he had to do was point his Keyblade and unlock that door, but… he couldn’t do it. He was paralyzed.

Wild, frenzied thoughts raced through his mind, thoughts of grabbing Aqua and running back to the upper levels, thoughts of staying with her in the Castle forever. But she wouldn’t stay… unless he _made_ her stay. He could steal her Keyblade; she had trouble calling it back. She wouldn’t be able to fight back as easily then, wouldn’t be able to open locks… 

“Vanitas?”

He could lock her up somewhere— a bedroom, one without windows. But she could burn down a wooden door… He’d have to find a room with a stone one instead. Have his Unversed guard her; make sure she couldn’t escape. Keep her safe. Keep her near. Keep her for himself. Keep her—

“Vanitas, something’s wrong.”

Wait, he didn’t have to do any of that. Just toss Master Keeper down the chasm. She’d never be able to open this door without her Master’s precious Keyblade. Then she would _have_ to stay with him forever. Eraqus couldn’t have her. Terra couldn’t have her. Ventus couldn’t have her. She was _his—_

_“Van—!”_

Vanitas was brought out of his madness by Aqua’s half-choked scream. The gargoyles— they had come to _life._ One had wrapped its giant clawed hand around Aqua and was crushing her in its tight grasp.

_“No!_ She’s _MINE!”_ Vanitas howled as the other gargoyle’s hand swiped at him. He jumped back, splashing in the water formed from the melted ice. It clenched its hand into a fist and tried to squash him. He dodged under it and ran in close to the other gargoyle, stabbing Void Gear into its elbow. The gargoyle roared and dropped Aqua. Vanitas caught her in his arms and sidestepped the other clawed hand. 

Holding Aqua close as tightly as he could, Vanitas ran for the armory entrance, stopping only when he was sure they were out of range. The gargoyles couldn’t move from where they were embedded in the door, but their arms had an extremely long reach. Vanitas set Aqua down on her feet, hands on her shoulders to hold her steady.

“Are you alright?” he asked, peering up into her face. Floods of Anxiety and Worry scratched and clawed at the insides of his heart. If she had gotten hurt because of him, because he _wasn’t paying attention…_

“I’m… fine…” Aqua panted breathlessly. “Just had… all the air… squeezed out of my lungs, that’s all.”

“I’m sure you’ll make a full recovery,” he joked to relieve the tension. She couldn’t have been squeezed too tightly, as neither of the Vile Phials on her belt had cracked. Vanitas reluctantly let go of her shoulders and turned back to the gargoyles on the door. Even from across the room he could see their glowing yellow eyes. Just another Heartless, then. It was still swiping ineffectually towards them, arms stretching and bending unnaturally. It was honestly a little nauseating to watch. 

“That Thresholder sure has a long reach,” Vanitas muttered.

“‘Thresholder’?” she frowned in bewilderment. “Wait, you _named_ it?”

“You got a problem with that?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “Or did you wanna name it?”

She stared at him incredulously. “Are the Heartless’ names actually real or did you just make them all up?”

Vanitas rolled his eyes. “Aqua, this really isn’t the time. But I _did_ name all of the Unversed, so I think I’ve got a knack for this sort of thing. I promise you can name the next one.”

She laughed and shook her head. “So, what’s the plan?” she asked, looking back towards the Thresholder. The Heartless banged its fists together in frustration.

“Well it’s got two arms, and there’s two of us, so I’d say we’re even,” he mused.

“That just means if it grabs both of us, we’re dead,” Aqua pointed out. “We’ll be safe if we stay out of it’s range, so a spell or a Shotlock is our best bet.”

“I’ll let you do the honors, then.” She was the one it had hurt, after all.

He stood back as Aqua charged her Focus towards the tip of her Keyblade. She let loose her Shotlock, a bright volley of rainbow colored orbs which flew straight into the Thresholder’s two faces. The Heartless roared defiantly, but was no match for the beautiful display of color and destructive power that was Aqua’s magic. Beautiful and destructive. It fit her to a tee. Vanitas grinned in awe. _This_ was what he had admired about her heart, the first day they’d met.

The Thresholder gave one last feeble growl before melting off the door, leaving only two slabs of stone behind. A large, shadowy orb floated out, an almost shocked expression in its beady yellow eyes.

“Quick!” Vanitas shouted. “Kill the Possessor before it gets away!”

Aqua stabbed Master Keeper through the Heartless and it faded into nothingness. She turned to him and frowned. “‘Possessor’? That’s not very creative.”

“Hey, it works,” he shrugged. They walked together across the armory to the stone door. Vanitas watched warily as Aqua stepped in front of it, trying his best to stay calm. 

She smiled at him. “Vanitas, I just want to say… Thank you, for everything you’ve done to help me. I wouldn’t have gotten this far if it weren’t for you, so… thanks for sticking by me for so long.”

_Is this a goodbye?_

“…Yeah. What are allies for, right? We make a pretty good team.” His voice cracked slightly on the last word. Vanitas suddenly realized he would have to let Aqua go. If he didn’t, if he forced her to stay with him in the Castle of Dreams, she would hate him forever and neither one of them would be happy. He bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from crying. His heart had already been broken dozens of times. What was one more, right?

_It was fun while it lasted._

At least he would have his memories. They would have to be enough.

“Alright. This is it,” Aqua said with an air of finality and aimed Master Keeper at the door. A beam of light shot out of the Keyblade’s tip and into the keyhole. There was an audible _click,_ and the doors swung open to reveal—

…A spiraling stone staircase leading further down. A deep Darkness emanated from it. 

Immense relief washed over him. Vanitas almost smiled before catching sight of Aqua’s disappointed— no, _devastated_ face. Then her expression turned blank, emotionless. It was a bad look on her, he decided. She took a step forward.

“Aqua… I don’t think we should—”

“We have to keep moving forward,” she interrupted dully. “No matter the cost.”

“Wha— Are you hearing yourself right now?! You _do_ sense all that Darkness, don’t you? There’s _something_ down there and it sure as hell ain’t the Realm of Light.”

“We can’t turn back.”

_“Yes,_ we _can,”_ he insisted. “We can go back to the upper levels and—”

“And _what?!”_ she screamed, rounding on him. “Rot away in this Castle forever?!”

“…It’s better than dying,” he said quietly.

Aqua blinked and bit her lip, her gaze dropping to the floor. “I— I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I just thought we were _this_ _close_ to getting out of here and…” She sighed deeply, shoulders slumped. “I guess I knew escaping the Dark World wouldn’t be so easy… But we haven’t exhausted all our options. I’m going down there.”

_Stubborn to the end._

“I’ll go with you,” Vanitas said. He didn’t want to know what was down there, but he couldn’t let Aqua put herself in danger. Not like this.

She shook her head. “You don’t have to risk your life for me.”

“Who do you think you’re talking to? I’ve risked my life plenty of times.” He put on the best smile he could manage, though it probably looked more like a grimace. “Besides, I can’t just let you go and get yourself killed. Who knows, maybe I’ll actually get a decent fight this time…”

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Vanitas reluctantly followed Aqua down the spiraling stone steps into the darkness. The only light was the Fire spell held aloft in the palm of her hand. The thin staircase finally opened up into a dungeon hall, the metal bars of the prison cells all rusted with age. Shackles were either falling off the walls or completely absent. 

It looked as if the dungeon hadn’t been in use for a while. Aqua mused that it was rather comforting that the Castle of Dreams hadn’t been in need of such practices in a long time. Vanitas had to agree. The thought of being chained away for years in a tiny cell was more than enough to set him on edge.

The further they walked in, the heavier and more oppressive the Darkness felt. Aqua was covering her nose with the hand not holding the Fire. Vanitas sniffed the air but it didn’t smell any worse than the armory, just of stone and rust. The hall finally opened into a wide chamber. The Fire couldn’t do much to light the gloom. It was impossible to tell how big the room really was.

Vanitas nearly jumped and Aqua gasped as the chamber was suddenly illuminated by dozens of torches lining the walls, each carrying a bright blue flame. The room was large and ovular, with many stone columns supporting a high ceiling. The room’s exact purpose wasn’t entirely clear, but what _was_ was the massive, pitch-black ball of Darkness wreathed by blue flame which floated in the center.

“Another Heartless,” Vanitas growled as the creature blinked open its beady yellow eyes and unfurled multiple red-tipped tentacles. It looked like a cross between an enormous Possessor and a gigantic Darkball— more face than body and uglier than both, iron chains crisscrossing its round form. Its mouth curled into a snaggletoothed grin as it floated there twitching, gyrating, and shaking with erratic energy. Had this thing been asleep under the Castle this entire time?

Vanitas glanced sideways at Aqua. “So, what do you wanna call this one?”

She gave it a thoughtful look as she extinguished her Fire. “…Shadow Stalker.”

“‘Shadow Stalker’, huh? Not bad.” He was going to go with ‘Big-ass Darkball’.

The Shadow Stalker gave a loud shriek, rising into the air before diving into the floor, spreading a thick black substance across the stone. Vanitas and Aqua jumped back as Darkness filled the chamber, crawling up the walls and columns and up into the ceiling.

“It’s possessing the entire dungeon?!” Aqua asked in shock.

“Looks that way,” Vanitas replied, glancing back at the chamber entrance. Of course it was blocked by more of the black substance. There was no going back now; they would have to fight.

The Shadow Stalker burst up from the floor and launched a barrage of blue flames at the two Keyblade Wielders. Aqua cartwheeled out of the way while Vanitas flash-stepped to the side of the room opposite her, countering with his own volley of Dark Firaga. The Heartless swiftly evaded the black flames and sank into the shadowy floor.

“Where did it go?!” he called to Aqua. She shrugged in reply, staring at the floor intently. The rattling of chains was the only warning Vanitas had before the Shadow Stalker burst out of the floor right in front of him, striking him hard with a thick, flailing tentacle and sending him flying several yards across the room until he skidded to a stop. He sat up with a groan just in time to see Aqua encase the Heartless in an icy crystal of Blizzaga. 

He was about to give her a shout of praise when the Shadow Stalker suddenly burst out of the crystal, its blue flames melting the magical ice. Aqua jumped backwards as the Heartless swiped at her with another tentacle. She lopped it off and the creature shrieked before sinking into the floor again.

“Slippery bastard, ain’t it,” Vanitas huffed, standing and brushing himself off while watching the tentacle twitch and writhe before it too sank into the floor. They wouldn’t be able to use the same strategy as they had against the Possessors. 

“What’s the plan?” Aqua asked, jogging up to him.

He glanced around, keeping a look out in case it attacked again. “Ice magic ain’t gonna cut it, so… Thunder, maybe? I could hit it with a Shotlock if it would just stay still.” As if on cue, the Shadow Stalker once again burst out of the floor, floating high up towards the ceiling before dive-bombing them. Both he and Aqua cast bolts of lightning magic its way but it quickly swerved into one of the stone pillars and disappeared.

_“Damn,_ it’s fast,” Vanitas growled. Faster than both of them. Despite his mild irritation, he was honestly rather excited to have a challenge.

“Did it just possess that column?” Aqua asked incredulously. It had Indeed. And not just one; multiple stone columns creaked and groaned, writhing as if in pain before striking out at the two Keyblade Wielders. Vanitas just barely dodged one and Aqua blocked another with a Barrier. He shot a bolt of Dark Thundaga at the pillars but the spell just glanced off the stone. This would require heavier magic. 

Vanitas charged his Focus to the end of his Keyblade. Three spinning white crystals materialized around the tip, firing a wide beam of Dark energy across the room directly into the columns. The pillars were blasted apart by the Dark Cannon Shotlock, forcing the Shadow Stalker out of hiding. It flew around the other columns, weaving through them and zigzagging up towards the ceiling. The Dark Cannon carved hunks of stone out of the pillars and ceiling as Vanitas trained it on the Heartless’s erratic movements. 

The columns began to collapse and chunks of the ceiling rained down, missing Aqua by inches as she cartwheeled away. “Vanitas! You’re going to bring the whole dungeon down on us!” she yelled. One column groaned and collapsed between them, cutting off Aqua from view.

“Aqua?! Are you alright?!” Vanitas called to her, coughing through the resulting dust.

“I’m okay!” she answered from somewhere beyond the collapsed pillar. “Just don’t do that again!”

“You don’t have to tell me twice!” he yelled back, smirking even though she couldn’t see his face. He jumped up on the column but was immediately bowled over by the Heartless and tumbled to the floor.

Aqua clambered over the column and hopped down, winding through chunks of rock towards him. “Are you okay?” she asked, slightly breathless.

He stood up again, shaking out his wrist. “I’m fi— Watch out!”

The Shadow Stalker swooped in. Aqua brought up her Keyblade to block, but it caught between the chains covering the Heartless’s body and was wrenched from her grasp. The Shadow Stalker flew across the room, taking Master Keeper with it. She reached out towards it, but nothing happened. 

“No, not now!” Aqua cried out in frustration. She opened and closed her hand, obviously trying to summon Master Keeper, but Eraqus’s Keyblade was ignoring her calls.

“I’ll get it,” Vanitas reassured her before charging after the Heartless.

“Wait!” Aqua called behind him.

The Shadow Stalker turned towards Vanitas, hissing before diving into the floor as soon as he got close. Master Keeper was dislodged from its chains and clattered against the floor. Before he could retrieve it, he heard Aqua cry out. Vanitas spun around to see that the Heartless had burst from the ground in front of her, engulfing itself in blue flames and unwinding the chains from around its body. A burning chain shot out and wrapped around Aqua’s legs, dragging her to the floor. She screamed in agony as the hot metal dug into her flesh. 

Vanitas had to do something! Blizzard wouldn’t work, Fire wouldn’t work. He couldn’t use Thunder, not when it had those chains wrapped around her; the lightning would just channel straight into Aqua. Focusing a Shotlock would take too long. Vanitas’s mind whirled with all these thoughts as he rapidly closed the distance between himself and the Heartless, slicing Void Gear across the Shadow Stalker’s back. It released Aqua and swiftly rounded on him, whipping the chain across his chest. 

He was thrown through the air again, this time crashing so hard into the fallen pillar that it cracked from the impact. His vision swam. Vanitas was pretty sure the only reason his skull wasn’t fractured was because of his helmet. Squinting, he could vaguely see that Aqua had raised a Barrier around herself. The Heartless breathed blue flames from its mouth like a dragon, attempting to roast her alive. 

Vanitas knew the Barrier spell burned through Aqua’s Mana like nothing else. He got to his feet as quickly as he could, trying to ignore the pain and his dancing vision. Even from this distance he could see her clumsily unhook one of the Vile Phials off her belt and pop off its crystal cap, grimacing before she chugged it down. He knew the Dark healing magic was working from the fact that she looked like she was about to throw up.

“Aqua, stay behind the Barrier!” Vanitas shouted across the room.

She glanced up, looking more green than blue. “Are you sure?!”

“Just shut up and trust me!” He fired a bolt of Dark Thundara into the Shadow Stalker’s back. It hissed and turned towards him. A disgustingly wide cheshire grin spread across its hideous face. Vanitas gave it his biggest shit-eating grin in return. “Come on!” he taunted gleefully. “Come and get me!”

The Shadow Stalker soared towards him, quick as lightning, but he stood his ground. It clamped its jaws tightly around his left arm, jagged, razor-sharp teeth sinking deeply into his flesh. Vanitas bit back a scream as agony seared through his arm, but the sweet rush of adrenaline that accompanied it more than made up for the pain. He was pretty sure Aqua was yelling something, but that didn’t matter. This was the first real challenge he’d had in ages. 

He was going to enjoy this. 

Vanitas stabbed Void Gear into the Heartless’s eye, black ichor splattering out all over him. It shrieked in anguish, releasing his mangled arm only to burst into blue flames in an attempt to shake him loose. A peal of psychotic laughter forced its way from his throat as the fire scorched his Dark Suit. Even to his own ears he sounded demented; probably looked that way too, covered in a mixture of Heartless gore and his own blood in the middle of a raging blue inferno. Vanitas ground his Keyblade deeper into the creature’s eye socket, the metallic scent of their mingling blood fueling his lust for more. 

It felt good, making something really hurt. Really _suffer._

He was only vaguely aware of the arms grasping around his chest until they forcibly yanked him off the Shadow Stalker, Void Gear loosening from his grasp. He tumbled backwards on top of whatever it was that had grabbed him, thrashing and snarling to escape its grip. A familiar grunt of pain brought him back to his senses as he realized it was just Aqua. Vanitas rolled off her and she pushed herself to her knees, casting a quick Curaga over him. The flesh of his arm knitted itself back together and the burns healed instantly. 

“Are you _crazy?!_ What is _wrong_ with you?!” Aqua yelled at him, eyes wide with worry. 

“I’m fine,” he snorted dismissively, pushing himself up off the floor. Vanitas felt better than fine, actually. The strange combination of adrenaline and healing magic was perhaps the most euphoric sensation he’d ever experienced, save for the scent of Aqua’s Light. 

The Shadow Stalker was still twitching in the air, Void Gear embedded deep within its eye socket. The Heartless glared at him with its remaining eye before wrapping a tentacle around the Keyblade and ripping it out, throwing it towards the far end of the chamber. Vanitas simply called Void Gear back to his hand mid-flight. 

“Looks like we made it mad,” he chuckled darkly as the Shadow Stalker gave a hissing snarl and dived into the floor again. Experimentally, he cast a Dark Fira at where it had disappeared but the spell just glanced off the stone floor. 

“We need some way of slowing it down,” Aqua said, still looking at him with a concerned expression. “And don’t even _think_ about using yourself as bait again.” 

Vanitas reluctantly had to agree. As thrilling as it was to throw himself into the Heartless’s maw just to deal a little damage, there were probably smarter, less life-threatening ways to pin it down. As much as he hated to admit it, he needed some backup. 

He spread his arms wide, searching his heart for useful emotions. Anxiety and Loneliness were at his beck and call. Tendrils of Darkness snaked out from his back, carrying with them a swarm of Floods and Scrappers. He coaxed Anger out too, though it took a little more effort. A half-dozen Bruisers joined his small army. 

Vanitas blew out a breath. He hadn’t made so many Unversed at once in a long time, but he felt better with the emotions out of his system. In place of the usual emptiness was the still lingering warmth of Aqua’s Curaga. He grinned at her, but she had taken a few steps backward and was frowning apprehensively, her eyes flicking between him and the Unversed. His smile fell and a few Thornbites painfully tore themselves from his spine. Whatever; they would be useful, too. He gave a mental command and the Unversed scattered.

Several seconds later, the Shadow Stalker burst up from the floor and devoured a Flood. Vanitas flinched at the jolt of pain before ordering his Unversed to converge on the Heartless. One Bruiser grabbed a tentacle in its crushing grip and refused to let go. The Shadow Stalker rose into the air lopsidedly, just barely able to carry the Bruiser’s weight. Another Bruiser tackled it to the floor. Scrappers dug in their claws and held on tight.

It attempted to fly again, but the Bruisers and Scrappers held it down while the swarm of Floods dog-piled on top. Thornbites latched on with their vines, their sharp thorns digging into its flesh. The Heartless bucked and writhed in an attempt to dislodge the horde of Unversed, breathing blasts of blue fire from its mouth. A terrible burning sensation built up in Vanitas’s chest as his Unversed sizzled against the creature’s flaming body, but he could bear it for a few more seconds. This would be over soon. 

“Playtime’s over,” he smirked, lining up Void Gear with the Shadow Stalker to charge his Shotlock. The Heartless unleashed another barrage of fire blasts towards him. He dodged out of the way, gritting his teeth in frustration at his lost Focus. Vanitas quickly checked to see if Aqua was alright. She was standing across the room, out of range and not looking any worse for wear. He turned his attention back to the struggling Heartless, raising his Keyblade once again. If he could just charge enough Focus for another Dark Cannon while the Shadow Stalker was pinned—

Vanitas could smell the spell before she cast it, the pungent stench of ozone burning his nose. A massive lightning storm arced across Aqua’s fingertips, pointing directly at where his horde of Unversed crowded around the Heartless. Thundaja was a spell he’d only seen performed once before, back when Xehanort had wanted to test the strength of his Trinity Armor. Needless to say, his most powerful Unversed hadn’t survived.

“Aqua, wait—!” he yelled, but it was too late. Crackling streaks of white hot electricity shot from her hands and pierced through the Shadow Stalker, the lightning bolts chaining together through each and every Unversed. Vanitas dropped to his knees and screamed as excruciating agony ripped through his body down to his very soul. The sensation of lightning burned through his heart as if he had been struck himself, coursing down his spine and setting his nerve endings on fire. He gasped for air. It felt like his lungs were going to _burst._

After what seemed like an eternity, but had likely been less than six seconds, it ended. Like always, the Unversed’s pain left no physical mark on his body. Vanitas gulped air down into his searing lungs as he lay in a convulsing heap, twitching like his Unversed as they died. His fledgling emotions melted into puddles of black slime, slinking across the floor and burrowing back into his body.

Vanitas squeezed his eyes shut at the deluge of Anxiety, Loneliness, Rage, and Spite that returned to his heart, all merging with the pain and drowning out all positive feelings. The emotions built up into a cascading torrent which writhed and twisted inside his chest. It was too much, far too much at once. He’d never had so many Unversed destroyed so violently all at the same time. If only Aqua had waited just a few more seconds, if she hadn’t been so _stupid—_ Rage towards Aqua boiled up thick and black in his heart. He wanted to make her _suffer,_ show him _anguish—_

_NO!_

He tried to bury his Anger, choke it down, just numb all his feelings as well as the pain. Worry and Fear and Panic joined the throng of emotions tearing at his heart, fear for what they— what _he_ would do to her. He was so pathetic, just a slave to his own emotions; just an empty creature, just half a heart… Vanitas scrambled for purchase on the stone floor, choking back both Unversed and the thick bile rising in his throat. His skin crawled with uncontrollable emotions and he gagged at the sensation of them sliding along his spine, all as slick and disgusting as ever.

Vanitas couldn’t hold them inside the sieve that was his heart and they all bled out of him again, Darkness bubbling up from beneath his skin and Unversed ripping themselves away from his back in waves. He was pretty sure he was screaming again as Distress, Anguish, Fury, Malice, Dread, Terror, and Hysteria burned through his veins and burst forth as a whole horde of Floods, Scrappers, Bruisers, Thornbites, Archravens, Axe Flappers, and Yellow Mustards. Their red, twisted eyes all turned on Aqua.

She had hurt him, and now the Unversed were hellbent on destroying the source of his pain. He could feel it starting again; the terrible, vicious lifecycle of the Unversed. Vanitas hadn’t felt this way since his early years in the Badlands, back when he would hurt himself by killing his own emotions. The pain and negativity would replace itself over and over again, spawning more and more Unversed for each one he killed until he was an empty, sobbing husk. 

Back then, he’d had only himself to hurt. Now, there was Aqua.

He couldn’t let this happen, couldn’t allow her to be hurt because of him. Vanitas lurched upright and stabbed his Keyblade through an Unversed, Void Gear easily rending its thick hide. He would kill them all if he had to— all these disgusting, wretched creatures. The bite of his own Keyblade was nothing compared to the pain of Aqua’s spell. Even still, each one he struck down just sent another fresh wave of agony into his heart, the pain of the returning Unversed spawning twice as many more.

Aqua was keeping her distance; from the look on her face she was either too stunned or too disgusted to do anything but stand there and watch. It was honestly the best thing she could do at the moment.

Vanitas grabbed an Unversed by the neck, digging his fingers into its flesh and absorbing it into his skin. The emotion returned to him, made him sick, but caused him no pain. This was the only way to halt the explosive chain reaction of the Unversed. He continued to do this, grabbing each Unversed with either his hands or long tendrils of Darkness and stuffing them back inside the void of his heart.

When Vanitas was done, he was a panting, sweaty, shaky mess; but at least the monsters were once again confined under his skin. His mouth tasted of copper, as he had bitten the inside of his cheek hard enough to draw blood. He cast a quick Cure to soothe his aching muscles but the skin on his back still felt raw.

Vanitas wanted to cry. That those _things_ were inside him, were a _part_ of him… There was a time back in the Badlands when he had wished he could be like Ventus, empty and dead to the World. Surely being _nothing_ would’ve been better than being this _abomination._ That was what he had thought back then, and now, catching the look of utter horror on Aqua’s face, he just might believe it once again.

_Stop it. Stop looking at me like I’m a monster._

He couldn’t meet her blue gaze. Instead, he turned his back on her and surveyed the room, the destruction he had caused; broken pillars and chunks of stone… The black substance that had covered the floor and walls had receded. There was nothing left of the Shadow Stalker but a smoking pile of gore, and even that was swiftly melting away.

“Some ‘Realm of Light’, huh,” he said hoarsely, dismissing his Keyblade and reluctantly facing Aqua.

“I— I’m sorry, I didn’t even know I could—” She stared at her hands, fingers still twitching with the aftershocks of the spell. “What _happened?”_ she asked in a horrified whisper.

Looks like his secret was out. Vanitas sighed deeply. “…Maybe you should avoid killing my Unversed from now on.”

“W-what?”

“I told you, they’re my emotions; a part of me,” he explained numbly, trying to keep his voice as steady as possible. “I feel everything they feel, so I’d rather you not kill them anymore.”

Aqua looked like she was going to be sick as the implication dawned on her. “You mean, you feel their pain when they die?! But Vanitas, I’ve already killed hundreds, if not _thousands—!_ Oh _Light…”_

“I know you have. I felt each one,” he deadpanned. In some ways, he’d gotten used to the pain. Xehanort’s tort— _training_ had built up a tolerance.

Aqua stood there, wringing her hands. “How could you… How could _I…_ Oh Vanitas, I didn’t _know…”_

All of the anger and pain he’d just swallowed bubbled back up to the surface, but rather than Unversed it boiled over as words. “Shut up! You can’t tell me if you’d known it hurt me back then, that you wouldn’t have still killed them!”

She flinched as if he had struck her.

He couldn’t hide this anymore; he might as well tell her the whole truth about the monsters inside him. “Whenever I feel a negative emotion too strongly, it becomes an Unversed. When it dies, the negativity returns to me, but with a nice dose of pain as a bonus. And if it hurts too much, the emotion just comes right back out as an Unversed… Sometimes more Unversed than what I started with.”

Vanitas clenched his fists. Memories flooded his mind, of when he was just a lonely child in the Badlands, when he couldn’t control all his Fear and Anger and Confusion… When he could do nothing but slaughter his own emotions until it made him _sick._ When he’d collapsed in the dirt and sobbed from the exhaustion and torment caused from suffering such constant, excruciating agony and his Master had just stood there and _laughed…_

“You think that was bad, what you just saw? Try my first week of living. You have no idea what it’s like, having all your emotions claw their way out of your heart until you’re numb and empty, just to crawl right back in and leave you worse off than before. Even after all these years, I can still just barely control them. Just barely hold on to my—”

_To your what, Vanitas? Your humanity? You never had any to begin with._

He closed his eyes and took a steadying breath. When he opened them again he spoke in little more than a whisper. “…My emotions turn into fucking _monsters,_ Aqua. And my heart’s too broken, too _unstable_ to hold them back or keep them inside. There’s a _reason_ I named my first Unversed the Flood.”

Aqua stared at him, open-mouthed but with nothing to say. What _was_ there to say?

The Unversed were evidence of the unnaturalness of his existence. They, far more than his Darkness, were what truly made him an abomination. Tears stung his eyes and his cheeks burned with the Humiliation of it all. The resulting Hareraiser peeled itself off him. Without even thinking, Vanitas grasped the leporine Unversed tightly by the throat and twisted its neck with a wet crack. Aqua flinched as its limp body hit the floor and dissolved into a puddle of nothingness. 

She suddenly found her voice. “Why do you keep doing that?!” Aqua cried out hysterically. “You’re _killing_ yourself!”

Vanitas let out an exasperated sigh. “Look, they don’t actually _die._ They’re so unversed in their own existence it’s impossible to really call them living beings.”

_“That doesn’t matter!”_ She tore at her hair. Strange, that was something _he_ would do. “I promised I would help you, but this entire time I’ve been _murdering_ pieces of you, and you neglected to tell me?! Do you _like_ being hurt?!”

Vanitas’s eyes widened. _Do I… like it?_

Aqua’s eyes were wet with tears. She scrubbed at them furiously, trying to stymie the flow. “You say you feel their pain, but then you go out of your way to kill them as violently as possible! You’re _hurting_ yourself like some kind of sick, sadomasochistic freak!”

He flinched. _Monster. Abomination. Freak._ Something inside of Vanitas snapped. His Keyblade was in his hand before he could stop himself. “I am not a _fucking FREAK!”_ he screamed so loudly that his voice echoed, exacerbating his already raw lungs.

Aqua stared at him with wide, tearful blue eyes, wrapping her hand around the pendant on her chest before giving a choked sob and turning heel, walking swiftly out of the chamber. Vanitas wanted to call her name, call her back, but the words stuck painfully in his sore throat. Void Gear tumbled from his limp fingers and dissolved into a shower of gear-shaped sparks. For the first time in over three years, he let his tears fall. 

It was stupid, pathetic, crying over— What? Some harsh words? It wasn’t as if he hadn’t heard them before. Monster. Abomination. Freak. It was all he would ever be. Why should it matter what Aqua called him; she wasn’t wrong. But then… why did it hurt so much? Why did he feel the need to prove otherwise?

_I made Aqua cry again…_

Vanitas was no stranger to the feeling of regret. He regretted not completing the X-Blade. He regretted not managing to kill Master Xehanort when he’d had the chance. But this feeling, deep inside his heart… It was an emotion stronger and heavier than mere regret— the one he had felt when he’d slapped her. Vanitas finally realized what it was. He felt _guilty._ A heart of pure Darkness shouldn’t feel Guilt, but he did; Guilt for making Aqua cry.

A Mandrake slithered off his back and burrowed into the stone floor. Vanitas grabbed it by its leafy head and yanked it out. It gave a weak shriek, wriggling in his grasp. He carefully studied its sad, disgusting little face. Why would Aqua care about creatures as revolting as this? He reabsorbed the Mandrake in a flash of black smoke. It didn’t cause pain to recall his emotions that way; maybe if he had just reabsorbed his Unversed in the first place rather than killing them, Aqua wouldn’t be so upset right now.

Perhaps he shouldn’t reabsorb them at all. The only reason Vanitas had always done so before was because if he didn’t, if he just let his negative emotions roam free, then he would feel stretched thinner and thinner until he was empty. But now he had positive emotions to help fill the void of his heart. It wasn’t like being whole, exactly, but it was better than nothing. Better than _being_ nothing.

Vanitas bent down to retrieve Master Keeper. The Keyblade was cold to the touch.

He wanted Aqua to stop hurting and the Guilt to go away. If he couldn’t unleash it as an Unversed, then… maybe he could apologize. He’d never apologized to anyone before, nor was he entirely sure how one went about such a task. Was simply saying ‘I’m sorry’ really good enough to fix everything? No… he needed something bigger than that, more sincere. 

Vanitas had already shared his Prize Pod snacks with her, so that idea was out. Although, Aqua _did_ love sweet food… He gripped Master Keeper more tightly. Terra had given Ventus that stupid wooden Keyblade of his. Vanitas could do better than that. He needed to make Aqua something with his own two hands, prove to her that he could create more from his heart than just disgusting, slimy things.

It was settled, then. Vanitas nodded to himself and headed off towards the kitchen.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Aqua bent over the toilet in the bathroom adjacent to her bedroom, vomiting up the last of the Vile Phial’s disgusting green sludge. The other Vile Phial squirmed on her belt; she had almost forgotten it was there. Aqua unhooked the bottle-shaped Unversed and it wobbled into the air, staring at her with unblinking red eyes. How many Unversed had she killed in the days before the Graveyard? How many times had she caused Vanitas such terrible pain?

Aqua didn’t even look at herself in the mirror, didn’t want to see her own guilt-ridden face, how red and tired her eyes must look. She washed out her mouth in the sink before entering the bedroom. The Vile Phial followed her, hovering beside her bed.

“Please, just go,” she whispered to it. Surprisingly the Unversed obeyed, floating out into the corridor. Aqua closed the door behind it and collapsed on the bed, shivering in her still damp clothes. Her legs still ached where the Shadow Stalker’s chains had burned her. She cast Cura over her wounds, the spell repairing the tissue damage so it wouldn’t scar. How in the Worlds had Vanitas survived on just Potions and Vile Phials alone? How had he survived at all, when he threw himself into danger like that?

_Why?_

Why hadn’t he told her the truth behind the Unversed, the pain he was going through? Perhaps she should’ve figured it out sooner; the incident with the knife that day in the courtyard, his overall viciousness in slaughtering the Unversed, his reckless, near-suicidal behavior in fighting the Shadow Stalker… Did Vanitas really believe his life held so little value? That he meant so little to her that he couldn’t trust her with information as important as this?

_‘I’m asking you, as a friend… just… put an end to me.’_

Those horrible words Ventus had said to her… They felt so long ago, now. Ven had been willing to throw away his life, too. And to think, just yesterday she’d had the passing thought of _killing_ Vanitas… Aqua sobbed again, curling up in the blankets and burying her face into the pillow as tears flowed from her eyes, the memory of Vanitas’s anguished screams echoing inside her mind. 

She was so tired, and tired of _being_ tired. Tired of crying and being trapped in the Realm of Darkness. Tired of questioning her beliefs and not knowing what to do. Tired of losing the people she cared about the most— Master Eraqus and Terra and Ventus and now Vanitas, too…

She just wanted to sleep.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Aqua had the strangest sensation of falling. She opened her eyes to discover she was rapidly sinking headfirst through a vast, empty ocean. Despite this, she felt more confusion than panic.

_Where… am I?_

Her descent abruptly slowed as her body righted itself, landing feet-first on the dark seafloor. It felt surprisingly hard; not like sand at all. Suddenly, a flock of bluebirds flapped out of the seabed, rushing past her and leaving loose feathers floating in the air… or was it water? But if she was underwater, then how could she breathe?

_What is going on?_

The birds’ departure revealed a glowing, circular stained glass platform underneath her feet. Depicted upon it was her own image, asleep yet holding her true Keyblade— not Master Keeper, but Stormfall. Next to the stained glass Aqua’s head were three circles which encapsulated portraits of her family. Terra, Ven, and Master Eraqus all smiled up at her from the glass, their faces reminding her of happier times.

_If only things could’ve stayed like this…_

Now that her body was illuminated by the platform below, Aqua was startled to find herself wearing her complete original outfit from the Land of Departure, not the new clothing she had borrowed from the Castle of Dreams. The silver pendant on her chest was completely unharmed.

“Hello?” she called out into the pitch-black darkness surrounding the platform. The stained glass was the only source of light in the gloom. Everything was eerily silent. Wait… she _could_ hear something if she concentrated. It was the low drone of a distant choir. Aqua jumped at the sudden appearance of a reddish-brown door in the center of the platform. she took a curious glance around it. The door was by itself, standing free of any walls. What was the purpose of a door that led nowhere?

_I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to open it…_

It wasn’t as if she had anywhere else to go. Aqua pushed the door open only to be blinded by a bright white light. She threw a hand up in front of her face, covering her eyes. After just a few seconds, the bright glow abated somewhat. Lowering her hand, Aqua found herself no longer on the platform. She was back on the mountain summit in the Land of Departure. Aqua walked past the stone bench and looked out over the cliff’s edge. Gone was the swirling, stormy vortex overhead. Instead, the castle sat completely intact under clear skies bathed in bright sunlight. Her home was no longer broken.

“Is this… some kind of dream?” she mused in wonder. “…Or was the Dark World all just a nightmare?”

“Both are true, from a certain point of view,” a familiar voice said.

Aqua gasped and spun around. Sitting on the stone bench —which had previously been unoccupied— was a man in white robes with black hair tied in a high ponytail. He looked real, solid; not like a ghost at all.

“Master?! You— You’re still alive?!”

Master Eraqus smiled sadly but did not answer.

“Or… are you just another illusion of the Dark World, playing more tricks?”

“Aqua, where do you think we are right now? Is it the Realm of Darkness?” the Master asked, gesturing towards their surroundings.

Aqua closed her eyes and concentrated. She couldn’t sense nor smell any Darkness. No, this was not the Realm of Darkness, nor the true Land of Departure. This was somewhere else.

“Come, sit with me.” Master Eraqus gently patted the empty space beside himself. Aqua sat on the stone bench. He placed his hand upon hers. His skin was warm.

“Master, why have you come to me now?” she asked warily. This was nothing like the way he’d acted the night before.

“Your heart was yearning for guidance,” he said matter-of-factly. “You’ve begun to question your place in the Worlds, and my teachings.”

Aqua took a sharp intake of breath. “Master—”

He squeezed her hand reassuringly. “It is nothing to be ashamed of. It is alright to reconsider your beliefs. I certainly have had to reconsider mine. Perhaps… I was wrong about the Darkness,” he lamented. “I did not teach you as properly as I should have.”

Aqua shook her head. “Master, no. You’re the wisest person I know. You’re a Keyblade Master.”

“Does being a Master absolve one of all potential failure?” There was warmth in her Master’s dark blue eyes. A warmth she didn’t deserve.

“I…” Of course not. She herself was an obvious example that Masters could fail. “I’m not a true Keyblade Master. I wasn’t ready.”

“No one is truly ready for the difficulties of life, but we must still face them head on,” Master Eraqus explained.

“B-but, you said I wasn’t worthy.”

“Did I?” he asked, a single eyebrow raised. “Or was that vision of me simply an illusion conjured by the Darkness?”

“I… I have no idea,” she admitted solemnly. “What I saw acted nothing like you, Master. He… he wanted to strip me of my title, and my… I mean, _your_ Keyblade.”

“No, what you said the first time is true. Master Keeper is no longer mine to bear. It has been passed down to you, Aqua.”

She frowned. “That can’t be right. It won’t listen to me.” Or at least it only did so half of the time. “What must I do to bond with Master Keeper?”

The Master shook his head. “I’m afraid that is a question I cannot answer. I can only tell you what you already know.”

“…You’re not really Master Eraqus, are you.”

He smiled sadly. “No, I am not. I am an Eraqus formed by your memories. If I believe I was wrong about the Darkness, it is because you do as well, deep down in your heart.” He tapped her pendant. “Terra and Vanitas needed guidance, not scorn. True, within them runs a deep, powerful Darkness, but it isn’t all they are. Terra is still fighting his Darkness, and Vanitas has proven himself capable of kindness and selflessness even when his heart holds no Light.”

“How do you know about…” But of course. If he truly was created from her mind, then this Master Eraqus would know about Vanitas. “I don’t know how to help Vanitas. I’m so worried for him… Can I really heal a heart of pure Darkness?”

“You met someone similar on your journey, did you not? One who was created to destroy, yet all he sought was friendship?”

She frowned thoughtfully, before a smile lit up her features. “Experiment 626!”

Aqua had befriended the little blue alien on a spaceship in Deep Space. Experiment 626 had been called an abomination by Captain Gantu, as Doctor Jumba had created him for the sole purpose of causing chaos and destruction. But 626 had gone against his destructive instincts all because Terra had befriended him and shown him his Wayfinder.

“Do you think Vanitas could be the same?” she asked.

“I can only think what you think. But yes Aqua, I do believe there is hope for Vanitas.”

She wanted to believe him too, but… could she really trust her own heart, anymore?

The Master noticed her troubled expression. “Tell me, what is it you are so afraid of?”

Aqua sighed. “I’m afraid of losing myself to the Darkness… No, losing who I am; my values, your teachings, what I’ve known my entire life as a Keyblade Wielder.”

“Is losing yourself really so undesirable?” Master Eraqus asked.

“I… What?”

“Aqua, you mustn’t be afraid of losing.” His tone was gentle. “Everyone fails. It is how we learn, grow, and change. The only true failure is if we give up.”

“But I’ve already tried so hard…”

The Master squeezed her hand a little tighter. “You gave it your all, and sometimes that is all we can give. But all is not lost; there is hope in you yet, _Master_ Aqua.” His tone lacked the sarcasm Vanitas had when speaking those same two words. “I believe in you, because you believe in yourself. No matter what happens, you will always be my little girl. I’m so proud of you, Aqua.” He smiled broadly.

“M-master Eraqus,” Aqua sobbed, but this time her tears were not of sadness, but of relief and joy. She wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug. He returned it, smoothing her hair with his hand. There was a flash of light and the Land of Departure melted away into a sea of white.

Aqua blinked as her surroundings came back into focus. She was now standing in the central square of Radiant Garden. Out of all the Worlds she had visited on her travels, this was the most beautiful. It truly lived up to its name; everywhere she looked were multicolored beds of flowers, flowing artificial waterfalls, and giant fountains. Atop the hill in the middle of the city sat a grand castle of massive columns and sweeping buttresses, a giant bronze gear adorning its face. 

Aqua had so many memories from this place, both good and bad. The last time she’d been to Radiant Garden the World had been cloaked in Darkness, and she had fought Terra— no, _Xehanort,_ and fell into the Dark World. This was the World in which she had met both Vanitas and Kairi, one with a heart of pure Darkness, the other with such a pure Light. It was where she, Terra, and Ven had reunited and fought the Trinity Armor… and unfortunately, each other.

“This is where it all fell apart,” she said despondently. 

“Where what fell apart, Aqua?” a voice behind her asked.

She spun around, not daring to believe it. Sitting on a ledge next to one of the small waterfalls was a blond teenage boy with windswept hair and a black-and-white jacket. “Ven!” Aqua rushed over to him but then stopped in her tracks. “You’re not real either, are you.”

“I’m as real as I can be,” he shrugged with a smile. “Or… as real as you imagine me to be.”

Just another memory, then. Still, even if this wasn’t the real Ventus, it wouldn’t hurt to talk to him. Aqua took a seat next to him, closer to the waterfall. “I’m sorry, Ven. I wasn’t able to save you. It’s my fault you were hurt. I should’ve taken you home when I had the chance.”

He tilted his head. “I told you already, I’m not a little kid anymore.”

Aqua blinked. “That’s what Vanitas said.”

“Can you blame me? I mean, we used to be the same person after all…” Ventus grinned and folded his arms behind his head.

“Does that bother you?” Aqua asked.

“Well… I’m not sure,” Ventus frowned thoughtfully. “I guess you’ll have to ask the real me, if I wake up.”

“I _will_ wake you up, Ven,” she assured him. “I promise as soon as I find your heart, I’ll set this right.”

“I know you will.” He smiled, though his expression remained thoughtful. “Aqua, I’ve gotta ask you, what do you want most out of life? What do you wish?”

Before the Mark of Mastery, she would have said the same thing she and Terra and Ven had all wished for, to be a Keyblade Master and travel the Worlds. But now… “I wish… I wish everything could go back to the way it was, before all this. When we were still all together.”

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. “Is staying together really such a big deal?”

“Of course it is!” Aqua said, appalled. “Ven, how could you say that?!”

Ventus shrugged. “You didn’t really think we could stay in the Land of Departure forever, did you? We’d all become Masters eventually. That meant getting out there, exploring new Worlds, meeting new people. It’s what we always dreamed of, remember?”

She shook her head. “Ven, you weren’t ready.”

“Just like you weren’t ready to be a Keyblade Master?” he said wryly, with just a hint of hurt. Had Ventus always been like this and she just hadn’t noticed? Or were her memories of Vanitas overlapping with those of Ven?

“…I’m doing it again, aren’t I,” Aqua said quietly. “Being overprotective, pushing you away… You said I had grown arrogant. That I’d let being a Keyblade Master go to my head. You… you called me _awful.”_ It had been the single worst thing Ventus had ever said to her.

He winced, setting his hands on his lap. “I’m sorry I said that, Aqua. I didn’t mean it.”

“I know. Thank you, Ven.” Even if he wasn’t the real Ventus, his apology still lifted some of the hurt from her heart.

Ven sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that sometimes… sometimes it’s just our time; everyone has to leave the nest eventually. But just ‘cause we’re not always together, doesn’t mean we won’t always be friends. You can’t change the past, but you can keep moving forward into the future.”

“Vanitas said that, too.”

“So have you,” he pointed out. “Promise me you’ll keep fighting,” he said earnestly.

“I promise,” she smiled. Aqua let the cool rushing water wash over her hand as she took in the sweet scent of flowers. The Master had said her heart was yearning for guidance. If this wasn’t the Dark World, and both Ven and Master Eraqus were formed out of her memories, then…

“I think I’ve figured it out,” she said. “We’re in my heart, aren’t we.”

Ventus grinned. “Yep! You know, for someone so worried about losing herself to Darkness, it sure is pretty damn _Light_ in here.”

“Language, Ven,” she tutted good-naturedly.

He stuck out his tongue. “Hey, you don’t complain when Vanitas swears!”

Aqua chuckled. “Honestly, I don’t think I could get him to stop if I tried.” It had taken her long enough to get Terra to stop swearing in front of Ven.

“Probably not.” Ventus leaned back and looked at the clouds. “About Vanitas… I was thinking —or maybe you were thinking, honestly this is all kinda confusing— if my heart is pure Light, then why can I feel negative emotions like sadness and anger? And why can Vanitas feel positive emotions like joy, if his heart is pure Darkness? Maybe the two aren’t as different as we always thought.”

Light and Darkness weren’t so different? _‘If it wasn’t for Darkness, you couldn’t even see the stars.’_ It was just a fact, Vanitas had said. Did the Worlds really need both Light… _and_ Darkness? 

Aqua closed her eyes and thought. The warm nights she had spent gazing up at the stars with Terra and Ven… The fireflies she and Terra caught in the evenings when they were younger… The dappled shade of the trees where she read books during hot summers… The moon shining down upon them when she and her friends camped in the woods… Every night she had slept in her comfortable bed… And _life,_ so much life in the Darkness, fluttering bats and moths, singing crickets and frogs, and the moonflowers upon the hill outside her bedroom window…

And Vanitas, who —for all his rough patches— laughed and played with her, shared with her, comforted her, saved her from loneliness and despair. Who would nearly sacrifice himself just to protect her, who would hurt himself to keep the monsters inside him from hurting her. Without Darkness there would be no Vanitas nor stars nor any of those things, and the Worlds would be that much emptier.

Aqua opened her eyes, tiny teardrops flecked upon her lashes. “You’re right… There are good things that come from Darkness. And even natural-born pure Lights like the Princesses of Heart can feel fear and loneliness.”

“I guess you could call me a Prince of Heart, huh?” Ven grinned.

“Now, don’t go getting a big head.” Aqua reached out and tousled his hair.

“I won’t,” he laughed. “No matter what happens, I’ll always be your little brother.”

She drew him into a tight embrace. There was another flash of light and white obscured her vision once again. When it faded, the sky was dark save for the massive, heart-shaped moon which hung overhead. Kingdom Hearts. Its blue light shone down upon Aqua as she stood atop a dusty plateau in the middle of the the Keyblade Graveyard, the last place she had seen Terra and Ven when they were still themselves.

Aqua turned around. Standing across from her was a young man with ridiculously wide pants and long brown hair. After meeting Master Eraqus and Ventus, he was exactly who she expected to see. “Terra,” she greeted warmly.

He startled. “Aqua? Can you see me?”

“Of course! Terra, what’s wrong?” Aqua frowned, closing the distance between them.

“Where are we?” He was looking around everywhere but directly at her.

“Well, currently we’re in my heart, but physically I’m in a World the Darkness has consumed; the Castle of Dreams,” she explained, waving a hand in front of his face. Terra didn’t respond to her gesture.

“Consumed? The Worlds fell?”

“What’s gotten into you? Aren’t you just a memory my heart created?” It was strange. He wasn’t acting like the memories of Master Eraqus and Ven. This Terra had no idea what was going on; it seemed he couldn’t even _see_ her.

“Aqua, listen. I promise this is me. But I’m not myself,” Terra said, his blue eyes staring vaguely at the space above her head.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re using the name ‘Terra’. That means you’re seeing me the way that you remember me. But your heart is just painting the picture that it so wants to see. The real me is lost in shadow.”

“What do you mean, ‘lost in shadow’?” He wasn’t making any sense. Was this the real Terra, or not?

“My heart has ties to the Dark. That must be why we can talk. But I can’t see anything, Aqua.”

“How did you find me?” she asked.

“I looked here…” Terra placed his hand on his chest. “And heard you in the Darkness.”

This wasn’t an illusion, vision, nor memory. This _must_ be the real Terra. “I understand,” Aqua said. Or at least, she thought she did. “It’s Xehanort, isn’t it. He’s the reason your heart has ties to the Darkness.”

He nodded solemnly. “Aqua, just… forget about me.”

“No! Terra, you’re not lost in shadow. I’ll find you, I promise.”

Terra shook his head. “No, Aqua. You were right. I’ll go astray again. My Darkness? This hate and rage? It’s still here.” He clenched his fist over his heart.

Aqua bit her lip. _‘How does that honor our Master’s memory, Terra?’_ That was what she had said to him when he had promised to never go astray again. The last thing she had said to him when he was still… himself. There was a question Aqua needed to ask him, yet didn’t want to bring up— not when they had just reunited. But… she _had_ to know. 

“Terra, please tell me… Why did you kill Master Eraqus?”

He stared blankly for a moment before lowering his gaze towards the dry, cracked earth. “I told you; he was going to kill Ven,” he murmured.

“The Master wouldn’t—”

_“YES HE WOULD!”_ Terra roared, his eyes shining a horrible yellow. He suddenly shrank back as if terrified by his own voice, trying to regain his composure. “I’m sorry Aqua it’s just…” Blue seeped back into his irises, but the yellow didn’t fully recede. “I didn’t know why, but the Master was going to kill Ventus. I couldn’t let him do that, but I… I went too far…” He began to cry.

Aqua took both of his hands in hers. “It’s not your fault. Xehanort tricked you.”

Terra looked up and smiled sadly, his tearful blue eyes still flecked with gold. “Xehanort might’ve dealt the final blow, but it’s my fault it escalated to that point in the first place. I allowed myself to be manipulated by Xehanort; my Darkness is my own, not his. I should’ve had more self-control.”

“No, Terra. Master Eraqus and I should’ve tried to understand you, you and your Darkness; instead we just pushed you away. _I_ pushed you away. I realize that now. I’ve done the same to Van…” Aqua trailed off before she could finish Vanitas’s name, unsure of how Terra would react. Maybe he hadn’t heard her.

He blinked. “Van?” 

Too late; he had. “Vanitas. He’s here with me, in the Realm of Darkness. I— It’s hard to explain.”

Terra’s startled expression twisted into rage. “Vanitas is with— _Has he hurt you, Aqua?!”_ The yellow in his eyes flared again as he squeezed her hands in a near-crushing grip. Aqua gasped. She needed to calm him down.

“No, it’s not like that at all! We have an… alliance, I guess you could say. Honestly, I think we’ve become friends.” She sighed. “Or at least we were, but I’ve already messed that up. I promised to help him and instead I insulted him, pushed him away.”

Terra relaxed his hands and furrowed his brow, yellow eyes wary. “You _do_ know what he is, right?”

She did. “Ventus’s Darkness.”

“Yeah, and—”

“The source of the Unversed. I know. But he’s human, and he has a heart,” Aqua insisted. “In fact, he looks almost exactly like Ven.”

Terra blinked in surprise, still not quite looking at her. “Are you sure he isn’t tricking you? Like how Xehanort tricked me?”

“I’m sure,” she nodded, even though he couldn’t see it. “Vanitas is changing. He was just as much a pawn of Xehanort as we all were, but now… He saved my _life,_ Terra. More than once.”

He frowned thoughtfully at that. “I suppose if that’s what your heart tells you, then… you should listen to it. You _are_ a Master, after all.” He released one of her hands to scratch his head. “I have the strangest feeling I need to ask you this…” he muttered before clearing his throat. “Aqua, what is most important to you?”

This time, she was able to answer with complete confidence. “My friends. You, Ven, _and_ Vanitas.”

Terra smiled, the yellow finally gone from his eyes. “He must really be your friend for you to say that.”

“He is.”

Terra nodded, then took on a half-serious, determined look. “Let him know that if he hurts you, I’m going to come down there and kick his ass.”

“Will do,” Aqua laughed and drew him into a hug. “No matter what happens, we’ll always be the best of friends,” she assured him. “If Vanitas can change for the better, then so can you. I know you can.”

“I… Alright. Thank you, Aqua,” he whispered.

They stayed like that for a long moment. Strangely, her surroundings didn’t disappear. Terra finally broke away from the hug, frowning deeply.

“Terra? What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Aqua, I have to go. Xehanort is trying to locate Ven.”

“Don’t worry. I hid Ven well, in a place he’ll never find him. He’s sleeping.”

Terra closed his eyes before opening them again. “…This ‘place’. Is it the Chamber of Waking?” he asked, voice uncharacteristically deep.

“Yes—” She noticed the flicker of yellow dancing in his eyes. “Xehanort!” Aqua hissed.

Terra-Xehanort groaned and clutched his head. “No, I can’t control—!” His eyes blazed, equal parts blue and gold. “Aqua, get back!”

“Terra!” Aqua reached for his hand.

He grit his teeth. “I messed up. Xehanort is part of me. Now he’s using me so you’ll tell him where you hid Ven!”

“Silence!” a second, deeper voice growled from his throat.

“I won’t give in! Aqua, you have to—!” Terra’s words were choked off, his fingers wrapping around his own throat.

“Still you _struggle!”_ Xehanort’s voice hissed through clenched teeth.

“Terra! Keep fighting!” Aqua pleaded. Oh Light, what should she do? What _could_ she do?

“That _is_ _ENOUGH!”_ Terra bellowed and wrenched his hands from his neck, breathing heavily. 

“Terra…” she whispered.

He reached into his back pocket, pulling out an orange star-shaped charm. His Wayfinder. “I… still have it. Use the Wayfinder… to find me. Remember, we have… an unbreakable… connection…” he panted, his voice growing weaker as white light started to fill her vision for the third time.

“Terra, please stay strong!” Aqua called. “I’m coming for you as soon as I can!”

The World around her flashed white, and she was left once again standing in the middle of the stained glass platform, the afterimage of smiling blue eyes burned into her vision. Aqua blinked and looked down at the platform, gasping at what she saw. There, alongside the smiling faces of Master Eraqus, Terra, and Ven, a fourth member had joined them— one with spiky black hair, intelligent golden eyes, and an iconic smirk.

“An unbreakable connection…” she whispered to herself. Vanitas was a part of her heart now, just as much as the rest of her family. Aqua smiled as warmth, Light, and hope filled her, the glass below glowing brighter.

_Terra hasn’t given in. Ven is safe. And Vanitas is my friend._

Another door appeared in the center of the platform. Aqua pulled her eyes away from the stained glass image of Vanitas and placed her hand upon the handle, taking a deep breath before pushing it open and striding confidently into the white light.


	7. Chapter 7

Aqua awoke with a smile on her face. She rubbed the dried tears from her eyes and stretched, startling slightly when something sharp poked into her thigh. Aqua sat up to find it was just her Wayfinder. She unlooped it from her belt and cradled the blue charm in her hands, holding it close to her heart.

Vanitas loved the Wayfinder, despite its connection to Terra and Ven. The way his eyes had lit up the first time he’d seen it… He had called it beautiful. _Twice._ And a couple days later he had even shyly asked if he could hold it, taking the charm so gingerly from her hands as if he thought it would break just by his touch, even though she assured him it had survived countless battles and there was no need to be quite so cautious. She had never seen him look at anything with so much wonder, nor treat an object with such tender respect.

Aqua wanted to do something special for him, something to help make up for all the times she’d hurt him, something to let Vanitas know how much she cared. She knew just the thing. The answer was plainly engraved upon her heart, after all; an unbreakable connection.

Aqua would make Vanitas a Wayfinder.

With that decision firm in her mind and an emptiness in her stomach reminding her that she had yet to make dinner, Aqua cast a quick Aero spell to dry out her clothes before heading down towards the kitchen. What she walked in on could only be described as a complete disaster. 

Almost every cabinet had been opened; various bowls, utensils, and a host of ingredients were littered across the countertop. Master Keeper was propped up precariously in a corner. And to top it all off, flour and sugar covered everything in a powdery layer of white— including Vanitas, who stood in the center of all the chaos, frowning intensely at a mixing bowl in front of him.

“Uh—” She’d barely made a sound but that was enough to make Vanitas jump nearly a foot into the air. 

“Aqua! What are you doing here?!” he blurted out, eyes wide with panic and a flush quickly rising in his cheeks.

“What am _I_ doing?” she repeated, flabbergasted. “What are _you_ doing?”

He avoided her eyes. “I watched you make those Open Sesame Cookies the other day, so…”

“You tried to recreate them from memory?” Aqua peered into the bowl and winced. Were those _eggshells_ in the dough?

“Yeah… They weren't sweet enough so I thought I’d add more sugar…” He rubbed the back of his neck with a sticky hand, disrupting the coating of flour on his shoulder. 

Aqua sighed exasperatedly, picking up Master Keeper and shaking off the sugar before dismissing the Keyblade. “Why are you trying to cook by yourself?” _Or at all, for that matter?_

Vanitas blushed deeper and shuffled his boot in a pile of flour, sending up a small dusty cloud. “I figured you’d like something nice after… Well, you know.”

She blinked in realization. “Oh Vanitas, you don’t have to make me anything.” Especially not when he could just summon Prize Pods… She bit her lip. How many times had she just casually bashed those Unversed open without a second thought…?

“No, but I _wanted_ to,” he insisted, bringing her out of her thoughts. “To make up for what I did.”

For what _he_ had done? _She_ should be the one apologizing.

“That isn’t necessary. I—”

“I know I fucked up,” he interrupted solemnly. “If I was just stronger, had more control…” Vanitas sighed before mumbling, “Cookies won’t exactly fix it, will they.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Aqua picked up the bowl, swirling the contents around. Yes, those were _definitely_ eggshells. “This isn’t exactly salvageable, but if you bring me a dessert book from the library I’ll help you make something new, maybe with more sugar. How’s that sound?”

“…Alright,” he nodded sheepishly.

“But wash your hands first!” she said as he took a step towards the door. Vanitas muttered something under his breath but complied. Aqua watched him leave, his boots trailing flour out into the foyer. 

She sighed, surveying the messy kitchen. It wasn’t the first time she’d cleaned up after one of her friend’s messes. Aqua smiled a bit despite that. One of her friends… That was what Vanitas was now, if he still accepted her after what she’d said and done to him. Given his obvious desire to apologize to her, she hoped that was the case.

_Even if he doesn’t, he’ll be alright. I can’t push him anymore._

Whatever it was that had happened to Vanitas, his heart would recover. She had to believe in that.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

How the hell was he supposed to find a dessert book by himself? The library was huge! Maybe Aqua had already taken one out since she was so interested in cooking and baking… Vanitas walked over to a pile of books she had already laid out on a table. Most of them were the books on ghosts from their research yesterday, but one in particular caught his eye. 

It had a silver trim and a red ribbon bookmark. Vanitas had seen Aqua reading this book before. If she had marked it than it must be important, although the language on the cover wasn’t one he recognized. Vanitas opened the book to the page marked by the ribbon. The words inside were also in a foreign language, but there was a watercolor illustration of a beautiful woman in a blue dress dancing with a prince. The prince was tall, with long brown hair and blue eyes. Vanitas felt a twinge of jealousy. What was wrong with him, feeling jealous over a drawing?

_Whatever, he’s not that great. Those pants are ridiculous._

He flipped to an earlier page in the book. This one depicted the woman cowering before a hideous black-haired, yellow-eyed monster. Vanitas huffed in irritation and threw the book down. Of course this was what Aqua was interested in reading. A story where a handsome prince had slain a terrible beast, and saved the girl, too.

Jealousy and Anger bubbled up in his heart. _No,_ he had to keep control. He wouldn’t be able to convince Aqua he wasn’t a monster if he kept unleashing them everywhere. Vanitas picked up another book, this one with an illustration of a chocolate cake on the cover. Much more promising. He placed the book under his arm and made his way back towards the kitchen. 

By the time Vanitas returned, Aqua had already closed all the cabinets and swept most of his mess to the far end of the counter.

“Did you find one?” she asked, washing her hands in the sink.

“Yeah,” Vanitas answered, holding up the dessert book. He flipped through it, landing on a page with an illustration of a squat yellow cake. “Can we make Dancin’ Lemon Cake?” he asked. Honestly he was simply drawn to the name more than anything.

“Sure,” Aqua nodded. “Although it’s not very sweet.”

“Can’t we just add more sugar?”

“If that’s what you want… Oh wait.” She searched through the pantry with a frown. “I think we’re out of lemons.”

“Lemons, huh…?”

“What are you doing?”

“Stand back and be amazed,” he grinned.

Vanitas focused on his Hunger for cake and the dessert book’s illustration. Slowly a tendril of Darkness poured from his back and wrapped around in front of him, coalescing into a round floating form. The Prize Pod glanced uneasily at Aqua, looking ready to fly away. Vanitas snatched the Unversed out of the air before it had the chance to escape. He looked over at Aqua. He’d expected her to be smiling, but instead she looked apprehensive.

Vanitas’s face fell. “You’re still mad about my Unversed, aren’t you,” he muttered to the flour-dusted floor.

Her eyebrows creased. “Vanitas, I wasn’t angry, I was _terrified.”_

“Of me.”

_“For_ you.” Aqua blew out a breath. “I will admit you do frighten me at times. And so do the Unversed, when I’m not expecting them.” She looked pointedly at the Prize Pod, the timid Unversed trembling under her gaze. “But I was so _worried_ about you…”

_Worried…?_

For more than two weeks now, Vanitas had wondered if Aqua cared about him. He hoped more than anything that she did, but hadn’t had enough courage to ask. Now he wanted— no, _needed_ an answer.

Vanitas prepared himself for disappointment. “Aqua, do you… _care_ about me?”

She looked almost appalled that he would ask such a question. “Of _course_ I do! We both care about each other. Don’t we?”

“…I’m not like you, Aqua,” he said quietly after a long moment of hesitation. “I’m selfish. I just kept you around ‘cause…” _I’d be so lonely without you._ “Well, the Unversed don’t exactly make great conversationalists.”

“Why do I get the feeling that’s not the whole truth?”

Vanitas hugged the Prize Pod tighter but didn’t say a word. He didn’t know what he would say if he did.

Aqua spoke instead. “I want to apologize.” She placed a hand over her heart and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Vanitas,” she said sincerely. “I’m sorry for all the times I’ve hurt you and your Unversed, all the times I called you a… a monster, or a freak…” Her voice wavered as tears formed in the corners of her eyes.

He glanced down at the Prize Pod. “You weren’t wrong,” he shrugged. “And we were enemies most of those times.”

Aqua shook her head. “But we aren’t anymore. I have no right to call you that. I was being insensitive. You’re not a freak.” 

Vanitas looked up and opened his mouth to protest, but then closed it again at the sight of her sparkling blue eyes. He was curious to hear what else she had to say.

“You say you’re selfish, but I’d say you’ve been pretty selfless,” Aqua continued. “Everything you’ve done for me… It all came from your heart, no matter how Dark it is. In fact, _I’m_ the selfish one,” she insisted. “I convinced myself that you needed Light, that I needed to change you. I was being a hypocrite. It’s not like I don’t have Darkness in me, too.”

“Oh, _please,”_ he snorted softly. “You’ve gotta have the least amount of Darkness of anybody I’ve ever met, besides Ventus of course. So what if you ain’t a perfect princess?”

“Exactly.”

“Huh?”

“I’m not a Princess.” She fidgeted with the end of her skirt. “So there _is_ a little Darkness in me, just like everyone else. And maybe… maybe that’s okay.”

Vanitas gaped at her, eyes wide with surprise and disbelief. “Who are you and what’ve you done with Aqua?!”

She just laughed. “I told you not all Darkness is bad, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, but… I thought you were lying,” he admitted bluntly. At least _he_ was being honest.

Aqua looked hurt by that. “I didn’t mean to lie. I just needed time to reconsider my beliefs and listen to my heart. I’ve realized there are many things I wouldn’t have if not for Darkness.”

“Like what?” Vanitas asked, intrigued and perhaps a little hopeful. Did she really have a secret longing for the Dark?

“Well… like the stars, and sleep, and shade. And… you.”

_“M-me?!”_ he sputtered, almost dropping the Prize Pod. “What do you want _me_ for?!”

“You’ve made my time here in the Dark World bearable… No, more than just that.” Aqua shook her head before giving him a bright smile. “I’ve enjoyed spending time with you, and even if things sometimes get a little rough between us—”

Vanitas scoffed loudly. “I’d say the Dark World and I are more than just a little ‘rough’. Hell, if it wasn’t for Darkness, you wouldn’t even be stuck down here in the first place.”

“Maybe so.” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “But we _are_ going to get back to the Realm of Light, and we’ll do it together— even if it takes longer than I expected. Speaking of which… It’s okay that you don’t want Light, especially since it hurts you.” Aqua spoke sincerely, though she looked a little sad. “There are other ways I can help you, but only if you _want_ my help. I won’t push anything on you.”

His lips parted uncertainly. How was he supposed to explain his feelings towards the Light when he barely understood them, himself? Light never made any sense. It was a sweet poison, a dual concoction of searing pain and immense pleasure— one which gave him such a sick, wonderful rush that he couldn’t help but drink in as much as he could even as his body and heart rejected it. How could something hurt so badly and yet be so intoxicating? 

Of course, pain was something Vanitas was used to, something he could endure. _Had_ to endure, to get what he wanted— whether it be power or adrenaline or the X-Blade itself. Or at least, that was how it used to be.

There were two Lights in all the Worlds whose pleasure was stronger than their pain. Merging with Ventus’s heart had been nothing short of amazing, even as incomplete and short-lived as it was. It had felt like coming home— not to the Badlands, nothing physical like that, but rather a deep nostalgia created by his other half’s warm, pure, and familiar scent.

Aqua’s heart was another matter entirely. Her Light was bright, clean, and beautiful, and while it had hurt worse than Ventus’s, it was still the sweetest thing he had ever tasted. The scent of her Light had been a burning fire in his lungs, once; now it only made him slightly dizzy, if that. Somehow, for some reason, the pain was gone, leaving only warmth and sweetness behind. And that wasn’t all. Vanitas brought a hand up to his chest, careful not to drop the Prize Pod. His heart hadn’t hurt as much, lately… almost as if Aqua’s Light was _easing_ his pain.

Vanitas couldn’t trust the Light. But he _could_ trust Aqua.

He met her blue eyes. “Of course I want your help, Aqua. Don’t be stupid. Everything you’ve done for me… You make me _happy._ And so…” Vanitas swallowed thickly. There had to be a reason why her Light no longer hurt him. Either he had simply grown accustom to it, or… “Maybe you were right. Maybe I do have… _Light…_ in me.” He almost choked on the word.

“You don’t have to believe that if it makes you uncomfortable,” Aqua said gently.

It did make him uncomfortable, and scared, and confused. But… perhaps a little hopeful, too. “If you’re okay with having Darkness then… why should I be upset about having Light?”

“What does your heart tell you?” she asked.

“My heart?” What could a broken thing like that tell him? He averted his eyes. “I… I don’t know. I need more time.”

“You have all the time in the Worlds, Vanitas.”

He breathed a sigh of relief. “Alright. Thank you.” Aqua smiled at him again. She looked a little relieved, too. Vanitas considered the pot-shaped Unversed in his arms. Usually he just bashed Prize Pods open, but after Aqua’s apology and the day’s events, he didn’t want to upset her again. Instead, he simply lifted off its lid and spilled the contents onto the table. Every item was a Dancin’ Lemon, just like he’d imagined.

“It worked,” Vanitas grinned and let go of the Unversed. It immediately flew off somewhere to hide.

Aqua’s face lit up. “That’s amazing!”

“I know I’m awesome,” he smirked. “So, how do we bake this cake?”

“What does the recipe say?”

Vanitas picked up the dessert book and began to read aloud. “Put the following…” He squinted at the text, silently sounding out the word before continuing. _“Ingredients_ into a large mixing bowl. One cee butter, two cee flour, one half tisp baking powder…” He looked up. “What the hell is a ‘cee’? And a ‘tisp’?”

“What?” Aqua asked, pulling a stick of butter out of the icebox. “Oh, cup and teaspoon.”

“Why don’t they just write ‘cup’ and ‘teaspoon’?”

“It’s simpler to write it shorthand,” she shrugged, placing a box of baking powder on the counter.

“Sounds pretty lazy to me, but whatever.” Vanitas continued to list off the rest of the ingredients. “One cee sugar, one half cee milk, four eggs, and one grated lemon rind with half the juice. It says to save the other half for the icing.”

“What’s in the icing?”

“One cee sugar and one half cee butter. I want more sugar in it, though,” he reminded her.

“Yes, yes.” She rolled her eyes but still smiled. “Here.” Aqua handed him a clean bowl and the carton of eggs. “Could you crack these into the bowl for me? _Without_ the shells,” she added hastily.

Aqua set to work grating a Dancin’ Lemon while Vanitas tried his best to crack the eggs how she wanted. She handed him some measuring cups and spoons, teaching him how to measure out the right amount of butter, milk, flour, and baking powder, although they added twice as much sugar at Vanitas’s insistence. Aqua had him mix it all up in a bowl while she juiced the Lemon. It was fun, even if Aqua wouldn’t let him lick the spoon until they were all done. She poured the resulting mixture into a pan and placed it inside the oven.

“How long do we have to wait?” Vanitas asked.

Aqua glanced at the book. “About forty minutes.”

_“Forty minutes?!”_ he shouted. “I’ll starve by then!” He could already feel another Prize Pod coming on.

“No you won’t,” she said with mild exasperation. “Here, help me make the icing.”

There really wasn’t much to help Aqua with, just mixing more butter, sugar, and lemon juice into another bowl. Vanitas leaned against the counter when they finished, licking the spoon while Aqua kept an eye on the oven. She glanced at him and laughed.

“What’s so funny?” he asked, tilting his head.

“It just feels like forever since we got to do anything really fun, doesn’t it.”

“I don’t know about that…” Vanitas mused. “I had a decent time fighting those Possessors.”

She crossed her arms in mock indignation. “That’s because you weren’t the one freezing to death.”

He shrugged. “It’s not my fault you barely wear any clothes.”

“W-what?!” Aqua sputtered, her face oddly pink. “I’ll have you know I designed most of this outfit myself, thank you very much!” she said, placing one hand on her hip and the other on her chest.

“That just makes it worse! If you had a Dark Suit you wouldn’t be cold.”

Aqua raised her eyebrows and hummed sardonically. “I think I’ll pass. Is that why you wear it all the time?” she asked, a shrewd look in her eyes.

“Hey, it’s not like I had much of a choice,” he shrugged again. “There aren’t exactly Moogle Shops in the Badlands.”

“There are plenty of clothes in the Castle,” she pointed out.

Vanitas snorted and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, like I’d be caught _dead_ wearing any of those. I mean, did you see what those people were wearing at the ball? Talk about tacky.” The Tremaine sisters’ dresses had been _especially_ atrocious. What poor chocobo had sacrificed its tail-feathers for _that?_

Aqua stared at him for a few seconds before she burst out laughing.

“What?” he asked defensively.

“It’s just— The thought of you skulking around, judging everyone else’s fashion sense—” She burst into another giggling fit of laughter.

_What does she mean, ‘everyone else’s’?_ Vanitas felt a sudden hot flush of embarrassment but he wasn’t exactly sure why.

Aqua finally stopped laughing long enough to ask, “Was that what you were doing before I showed up?”

“Well… really I was just tailing Terra and Cinderella, but I managed to sneak an hors d’oeuvre or two.” Or twenty. Honestly, he’d kill for some more deviled eggs. Maybe later he could convince Aqua to make some. 

“You— You’re not serious. How did no one notice you?!” she asked in a mixture of shock and amusement.

Vanitas grinned a little. “You’d be amazed what people don’t pay attention to. All their eyes were glued to Charming and the Princess. Of course, it was hard _not_ to see her. That dress was blindingly bright.” Probably because it was made out of magic. Just like a Princess to want to be the center of attention.

“It _was_ a beautiful dress…” Aqua said wistfully. “I wish I could wear something like that. Maybe it would remind Terra that I’m a girl.”

Not surprising that Terra was too stupid to remember something as obvious as _Aqua being a girl._ “It’s too bad that old fairy ain’t down here, she could’ve magicked one up for you.”

“What?” she asked in bewilderment.

“Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother,” Vanitas explained. “She made the Princess’s dress with magic, and a carriage out of a big pumpkin, turned some mice into horses… Honestly it was all really fucking weird.”

Aqua’s eyebrows shot up high enough to disappear into her bangs.

“Don’t look at me like that, I’m serious!”

“I believe you, it’s just…” She shook her head and smiled. “The Worlds are very strange sometimes, but very wonderful too… almost like a fairytale.” Aqua pulled on an oven mitt and reached into the oven. “It looks like the cake is done,” she said, pulling out the pan and placing it on the counter.

“Finally. I’m starving,” Vanitas said, reaching for the yellow dessert.

Aqua waved his hand away. “We need to let it cool before we put the icing on.”

“What?! You didn’t say anything about that!” Seriously, how long was this going to take?

“It’s in the book.”

“Forget the book. Come on, I wanna eat now!” he begged. Sure he was acting childish, but so what? He was hungry.

Aqua shook her head in exasperation. _“Patience,_ Ven— Vanitas…”

He narrowed his eyes. “Did you just—”

“What do you want to make for dinner after this?” she interrupted quickly.

Vanitas huffed but decided to let Aqua’s mistake slide. “I thought this _was_ dinner,” he said instead.

“Dessert for dinner isn’t very nutritious,” she frowned slightly. “And we _did_ add twice as much sugar…”

This again? Why did she keep criticizing his eating habits? “Hey, I survived on nothing but Prize Pod food practically my entire life. Most of that stuff’s nothing but sugar.” Honestly, it was shocking he was in as good a shape as he was. Probably had something to do with Xehanort’s brutal training regimen.

“Well… at least you actually _like_ sweet foods,” Aqua mused.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Terra hates sugar. He refuses to eat anything sweet unless it’s chock full of nuts.” She laughed a little. “I guess you could say he’s ‘nuts’ for nuts.”

“Yeah, I’d say he’s a nut,” Vanitas muttered. Terra must be crazy to pass up on Aqua’s desserts. Crazy, or really, _really_ stupid.

“Ven loves sweet foods, though,” she continued. “Spongecake especially, with tons of icing. And Master Eraqus’s favorite is— _was_  Cherryberry Tart…” Aqua suddenly trailed off and went very silent. Was this going to happen every time she thought about her friends or Master? Just shut down or cry?

_…Would she cry for me, if I died?_

Vanitas swallowed slowly and stared down at his boots. Aqua was hurting again, because of Eraqus. How was he supposed to help her, when the source of her pain was already dead? They hadn’t even encountered his ghost in the armory, nor the dungeon. Of course, they hadn’t really encountered any ghosts at all, just those Possessors… Vanitas slapped a hand to his forehead in realization, scattering flour out of his hair and startling Aqua.

_Of course! I’m an idiot!_

“Vanitas? What’s wrong?”

“Aqua, about Master Eraqus—” he said in a rush, “There’s a lot about the Realm of Darkness we don’t know. There could be all kinds of Dark magic or other weird shit. Those ‘ghosts’ we fought turned out to be Heartless, so what you saw probably wasn’t Eraqus at all, just some kinda illusion— or maybe another Heartless _pretending_ to be him.”

“I know,” she said simply.

“You— you _know?”_

“I mean, I think you’re right,” Aqua clarified. “It was just the Darkness messing with my mind and heart, trying to trick me into giving up. But the Master would never say those things to me; he wouldn’t want me to stop fighting. And I saw visions of Terra and Ven, too, and they’re both still alive.”

“Well, we know _Ventus_ is alive, but…” Vanitas trailed off as Aqua started shaking her head.

“Terra is alive too. I spoke to him.”

“You _what?!”_ he shouted, struggling to stop a Yellow Mustard from bursting out. “When?! How?!”

“About an hour and a half ago, in my heart.” She tapped the pendant on her chest.

Vanitas blinked, utterly baffled. “In your— Wait, slow down. What happened?”

“Well, after you…” Aqua cleared her throat. “After the Shadow Stalker, I fell asleep and somehow ended up on this platform inside my heart.”

“Stained glass?”

“Well, yes,” she blinked in surprise. “How did you know?”

“That’s what the inside of _my_ heart looks like,” he explained. 

On nights after particularly rough sessions of tort— _training,_ Vanitas had started taking solace in his own Station of Awakening. He’d lie near the cracked, jagged edges of his heart’s half-platform and stare off into the surrounding abyss, letting the low drone of a distant, mysterious choir lull him to sleep. 

“I’ve been there before, but mine is—” _Broken._ “…Anyway, what happened?”

“I spoke to some memories of Master Eraqus and Ven. I thought Terra was just a memory too, but he was _real._ He said he heard my heart calling out in the Darkness, and somehow we were connected long enough for us to talk.”

_Connected…?_ Vanitas swallowed down the Jealousy that threatened to tear from him.

“You were right about him being possessed by Xehanort, but he’s still fighting,” Aqua continued. “He said to use the Wayfinder to find him.”

Vanitas frowned. “Use it _how,_ exactly?”

“I’m not sure. But there’s still hope,” she smiled brightly. 

Hope for Terra? How could there be hope for him when he was still Xehanort’s vessel? A crueler part of Vanitas wanted to point this out, dash Aqua’s hopes so she would abandon that lost cause she called her friend, convince her to stay with _him_ instead… but he didn’t want to ruin the smile on her face. It wasn’t as if it mattered whether or not Terra was alive, anyway. If they couldn’t return to the Realm of Light then Aqua wouldn’t be able to go after him, wouldn’t be able to get herself killed by Xehanort. She would stay right here in the Castle of Dreams— safe, where she belonged.

“Yeah…” he reluctantly agreed before changing the subject. “The cake should be cool enough by now, shouldn’t it?”

“Mhm.” Aqua took up a butterknife and scooped the icing from the bowl, spreading it thickly across the cake. She stood back after she finished. The Dancin’ Lemon Cake looked amazing, all bright sunshine-yellow and smelling like the perfect blend of sour and sweet. Aqua cut the cake into small slices. She picked up a slice with her fingers and smiled, turning towards Vanitas and stepping closer to him. He backed up into the counter. 

_No room to escape,_ a more primal part of his mind hissed. His fight or flight instinct was on the verge of kicking in. Aqua lightly pressed her thumb under the jagged metal of his mask, tilting his chin up. Vanitas opened his mouth, whether to protest or bite her fingers he wasn’t entirely sure, but Aqua took that opportunity to shove the cake between his lips. 

Vanitas sputtered in surprise, trying not to choke before swallowing it down. “It’s good!” he exclaimed after realizing Aqua _wasn’t_ trying to kill him.

“Of course it is,” she laughed. “You did a good job.”

He grinned at the praise. Grabbing another slice of Lemon Cake, Vanitas attempted to reciprocate the gesture, but ended up smearing it all over her mouth.

“Uh… Whoops?” he said sheepishly. 

Aqua blinked in surprise but then started giggling. She took up another slice, popping it into her mouth before arming herself with one in each hand, a mischievous smile playing on her cake-covered lips. “You know this means war, right Vanitas?”

He frowned before realizing her intentions. If Aqua was looking to spar, well… who was he to tell her no? Sure, their weapons were dessert rather than Keyblades, but this could still be fun, right?

Vanitas dived for the Lemon Cake just as Aqua pounced. What proceeded could only be described as absolute chaos, if chaos tasted of sugar and citrus. The two Keyblade Wielders chased each other around the kitchen, both attempting to cover the other with as much cake as possible. Despite there being far too much physical contact for his liking, Vanitas found that he was actually enjoying himself, even trying his best to not flinch or snarl when Aqua’s fingers brushed cake through his already messy hair.

By the time it was over, both of them sat panting and laughing in the middle of the sugar-coated, flour-dusted floor, the Dancin’ Lemon Cake half-eaten with the rest of it smeared across both themselves and the already ruined kitchen. They had wasted so much food, but at the moment Vanitas was in such high spirits that he couldn’t bring himself to care. Aqua regarded him with a gentle emotion dancing in her eyes, one he didn’t quite recognize. Vanitas’s face grew a little hot under her sparkling blue gaze and he instead turned his attention towards his sticky, cake-covered hands. 

“So… what… now?” he asked in between licking the icing off his fingers.

“I think we both need a bath,” Aqua answered with a laugh, looking down at her messy clothes.

Vanitas thought for a moment before grabbing her wrist, unintentionally smearing more cake on her glove. “I know just where to go.” He led Aqua out of the kitchen and across the foyer, heading for the large set white doors leading to the hallway.

“Vanitas, slow down! Where are we going?”

“I saw a huge bathroom when I was exploring the fourth floor.” Fit for royalty, he supposed. “The tub’s big enough for both of us.” 

Aqua squeaked and yanked her arm free. “We can’t bathe together!” she said, appalled.

“Why not?” Vanitas turned around and frowned in confusion.

Her cheeks turned bright pink. “It’s— it’s _indecent!”_

“Huh? Did I say something wrong?”

Aqua’s face reddened further. “Of course it’s—! We’d be—!” She seemed to struggle for a moment.

Vanitas stared at her in bewilderment. Apparently he’d made some sort of mistake, one big enough that Aqua was freaking out. How was he supposed to apologize for this, when he didn’t even know what he’d done wrong? 

Aqua bit her lip and stared at his hair, then down at her own messy clothing. She finally placed a hand over her face, some of the flush fading from her cheeks, though they still remained slightly pink. “Okay, fine. But we _have_ to keep our clothes on,” she mumbled into her palm.

Their clothes? Wouldn’t that make it harder to bathe? And why was she so concerned about that when he wore more clothes than she did, anyway? Not that Vanitas wanted to argue with Aqua after she just had agreed.

“Well, come on then,” he said encouragingly.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

The bathtub in the royal suite was indeed large, more like a small pool than a tub. The entire suite —bedroom and bathroom— was incredibly ornate compared to the rest of the Castle, all gilded in glimmering gold with a dark blue ceiling. A wide silver mirror hung above a marble countertop holding two sink basins and drawers full of various toiletries. Aqua gathered the supplies while she ran the bathwater. Not for the first time, she was grateful that the Castle of Dreams had indoor plumbing and hot water. Royalty really did get the best.

Aqua couldn’t believe she had agreed to this. She had wanted to say no on principle, but the confusion and hurt in Vanitas’s wide, innocent eyes had swayed her decision. He really didn’t know why this was wrong, did he. Was he really that sheltered? No, that wasn’t it. _Isolated_ would be more accurate. Vanitas had been raised in near isolation, with Xehanort as his only company… Aqua shuddered and glanced at him. He tilted his head in response, specks of flour falling out of his hair and onto the golden tile.

Bathing with him wouldn’t be too strange, would it? After all, if she left on her undergarments, would it really be any different than wearing a swimsuit? She’d gone swimming with Terra and Ven in the ponds at the Land of Departure tons of times during hot summers. It should be fine.

Aqua placed various combs, a bar of soap, and a little bottle of sweet-smelling shampoo on the bathtub’s marble edge. Vanitas watched her with inquisitive eyes. Noting his curiosity, she felt another wave of sympathy for her friend. To grow up in the Badlands without any amenities at all, only being trained how to fight without being taught any of the basics of life… This must all be very strange to him.

“Have you ever had a bath?” Aqua asked out of her own curiosity. She wasn’t exactly looking forward to having to teach him. 

Vanitas smiled mischievously. “I’ve bathed a few times.”

A _few_ times? Aqua suddenly wondered how much of his scent really was from the Darkness, or just because he hardly ever bathed. “When was the last time you had a bath?”

His grin broadened. “About a month ago, in a stream near the Dwarf Woodlands.”

“What?!” Aqua squeaked. “I drank from that water…” At least he’d taken a bath relatively recently. She sighed and shook her head. “Well, you’ll find this is a lot warmer than river water. Cleaner, too.”

Vanitas blinked. “Really?” He peered into the tub.

Fascinated, Aqua watched as he retracted the bodysuit’s fabric from his hands, the black veins twisting and thinning into nothingness. It really _was_ woven from Darkness. Vanitas flexed his fingers. They were perfectly normal human hands, not claws or talons or anything like that. Aqua wasn’t quite sure why she’d expected otherwise. He dipped his fingertips into the water, then quickly drew back. “It’s hot,” he said, startled.

Aqua tested the water herself. It was at a comfortable temperature, but probably much warmer than what Vanitas would expect if he had only ever bathed in natural water sources. Warm water was just another of life’s simple pleasures that had been denied to him. Xehanort had forced Vanitas to live like an animal. No, worse. At least wild animals had their freedom. He had been like a chained dog.

_He’s free now, from Xehanort at least. I’ll take solace in that._

“I guess we should… undress,” she said, trying not to blush. “Just… leave your pants on, okay?”

“If you say so,” Vanitas shrugged and summoned his visor just to remove the helmet entirely and place it on the marble countertop.

Aqua turned around, looking down at herself and her messy clothing. She made a mental note to do the laundry tomorrow. She pulled off her boots and gloves first, then her stockings before shimmying out of the borrowed blue skirt. She undid the lace of her corset next and removed the rest of her clothing, leaving only her dark blue undergarments. Her heartbeat raced at the feeling of cool air against her bare skin.

_It’s just like wearing a swimsuit. Calm down._

Taking a deep breath, she turned around. In addition to his helmet, Vanitas had removed his boots and was in the process of unbuckling his belt when he paused, eyes going wide as he gawked at her chest. Aqua immediately covered herself.

_How dare he—!_

But before she could give an angry response, she caught sight of his expression— one of confusion rather than perversion. 

“What are _those?”_ he asked, gesturing towards her chest.

Aqua sputtered in shock and embarrassment, heat flooding her cheeks. “I— Wha— They’re _breasts,_ you—! You really don’t know?” His blank stare answered her question for her. “Vanitas… do you know what makes boys and girls different?” she asked apprehensively.

“Uh…” Vanitas blinked and slowly shook his head. He really had no idea… 

Aqua did _not_ want to have this conversation. It had been embarrassing enough when she’d turned fourteen and Master Eraqus had given her ‘the talk’, as he’d put it, one which contained far too many metaphors involving Keyblades and keyholes. But if Vanitas really didn’t know, then… “How do you know I’m a girl?” 

He looked uncertain. “Instinct, I guess? And the way you smell.” 

Aqua pinched the bridge of her nose and tried really hard to not think about him smelling her. At least he thought of her as a girl; Terra forgot half the time, if he noticed at all. If Vanitas really didn’t know the difference then at least that explained why he wore a _skirt_ of all things.

He slowly placed said navy-blue length of fabric with the rest of his discarded clothes. “Are you okay?” he asked cautiously.

“I’m… _fine,”_ Aqua said before letting her arm fall to her side, her voice strained and a little more high-pitched than she would like.

Seemingly satisfied enough with her answer, Vanitas glanced back down at himself and placed a hand over his chest. The fabric of the bodysuit receded from his arms and torso, the black material wisping into tendrils of smoke and fading away until only the portion covering his hips down to his toes remained.

Aqua gasped in surprise and horror. Vanitas’s skin was littered with scars. Between the scratches and burns were the distinctive toothmarks of a Keyblade. Not the kind of wounds received in battle either, but deliberate shallow cuts; not meant to kill, but to inflict pain. One scar in particular stood out for its size, a ragged white mark stretching across the length of his right shoulder from collarbone to armpit. It too bore the toothmarks of a Keyblade.

_‘Lessons don’t stick if you can’t feel pain.’_ Vanitas’s words came back to her. He had spoken so casually, far too casually for something like _this._

“Xehanort did this,” she said. It wasn’t a question. 

“Just discipline,” he deadpanned. “Not undeserved, either.”

_“Discipline?!_ Vanitas, it’s torture!” He honestly believed he _deserved_ this?

He flinched before shrugging. “If I had been more obedient it wouldn’t have happened, but I’ve never been one for following orders. Besides, not all of them are from Xehanort. Some are from Ventus; some are from you. You’ll notice Terra didn’t get any in.” He gave a rather forced laugh.

“…Which ones are mine?” Aqua didn’t want to know but she had to ask. 

Vanitas’s face fell as he contemplated his own body. “Ventus and Xehanort preferred the Keyblade, so most of the magic-based ones are from you.” He pointed out a few burns and a crisscrossing spread of lightning-induced scars, all faded white against his pale skin. “This one too.” He gestured to a long thin scar on his left forearm.

Aqua felt sick. Whether through the Unversed or his physical body, she had already caused Vanitas so much pain… And she couldn’t take any of it back. Aqua knew an apology wasn’t enough, but she had to try anyway.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“Don’t be. Fighting you was a thrill.” His smile was surprisingly genuine. “You’re incredibility strong, Aqua. One of the strongest people I know.”

Whatever positive effect Vanitas wanted his words to have on her, it wasn’t working. The knowledge that she was strong enough to cause him permanent damage made her feel horrible, even if they had been enemies at the time. With his hair matted with cake and flour and scars riddling his body, Vanitas looked so very lost. Aqua reached out towards him and he jerked backwards, his leg bumping into the marble rim of the tub. A shadow of terror passed over his eyes. 

“Why do you keep touching me?” he asked, voice oddly timid.

“I just thought… Oh, I don’t know…” she sighed and drew her hand back, running it through her hair. Aqua had known Xehanort had mistreated him, but the abuse went far deeper than she’d realized. A simple Cura spell would’ve healed most of these wounds without leaving scars, but Xehanort hadn’t wanted Vanitas to know that. 

Vanitas had known suffering she couldn’t possibly imagine. It was all too likely he had never known a touch that didn’t cause pain, only the sharp bite of a Keyblade or the sting of hostile magic, never once receiving a gentle touch from another human being. It was why he kept flinching and became aggressive whenever she got near him. He thought she was trying to hurt him.

“No one’s ever touched you before, have they,” Aqua whispered. “Not in a way that wasn’t supposed to hurt?”

Vanitas shook his head with a slight smile. It seemed now that the ‘danger’ of her touch had passed, he was starting to relax again. “Not true,” he said. “The first person to touch me was you, in Radiant Garden.”

Radiant Garden. The first time they’d met, and the first time they’d fought. The scar on his left forearm… Aqua remembered now. He had blocked her attack with his arm and Rainfell’s teeth had bit deeply into his flesh. That and a few other blows had knocked him flat on his back. She had approached him then, thinking he was unconscious. Vanitas’s manic laughter when she had touched his mask… At the time Aqua had thought it was insanity, but now it seemed much more like a defensive reflex.

“You wanted to see my face, remember?” he smirked. “More handsome than you expected, huh?”

_That_ brought her out of her memory. She blushed again.

“Don’t be jealous, you’re beautiful too.” His smirk widened into a toothy grin.

“Wha— _what?!”_ she gasped. Was he _flirting_ with her? No, she had to be imagining it. He was far too naïve for that… Right?

“What do you mean, ‘what’? It’s not a compliment, just the truth.”

The way he spoke _seemed_ innocent enough, or at least she hoped so. Aqua tried to calm down. “I— It’s just, no one’s called me ‘beautiful’ before. Other than my mother, I mean.”

Vanitas’s expression darkened and he muttered something that sounded like ‘at least you have a mother’.

“Vanitas…?”

“I said, at least your face is your own. I’ve always been someone else’s reflection. Just a shadow.” He crossed his arms, looking vulnerable rather than defiant. There it was again— another mood swing, his tone shifting from teasing to bitter in an instant. It happened so easily, but this time Aqua knew the cause. Vanitas had been so angry the first time she’d compared him to Sora; now she was beginning to see why. 

Vanitas was still struggling to see himself as his own person, separate from Sora and Ven. It probably didn’t help that she still mixed up his and Ventus’s names, sometimes. With his arms crossed and shoulders hunched, he looked so helpless— ready to withdraw again. Aqua had to reassure him somehow, so she did the only thing she could think of. 

“May I?” Aqua extended her right hand, palm upwards. Uncertainty crossed his features. Vanitas had rejected her touch so many times before, but then, she hadn’t exactly asked permission. For a long uneasy moment, Aqua wondered if he would leave again. “Please?” she whispered.

He searched her eyes, glancing between them and her palm. Aqua’s heartbeat quickened even as she held her breath. Slowly, ever so slowly, Vanitas finally stretched out his left hand and made skin-to-skin contact for the first time in his life, fingertips featherlight as he tentatively pressed his palm against hers. His skin was hot and his hand was shaking. Darkness swirled behind his back and Aqua caught a glimpse of little red eyes.

She ignored the Unversed and slowly slid her other hand over his. His wary yellow eyes studied her movements as she gently brushed her fingers over the back of his hand, from knuckles to wrist. Vanitas’s breath hitched, but he didn’t pull away. Aqua lightly traced over muscles and veins to the long scar her Keyblade had carved into his skin. To her, it was less like a battle-wound, and more like a brand. She had permanently marked him with the same hands that held his now; it felt like the worst sin in all the Worlds. Aqua couldn’t meet his gaze, even as she spoke her next words.

“Vanitas, I am so, _so_ sorry.” Tears welled in her eyes. It wasn’t enough to fix his pain, but it was all she could do.

“I forgive you.”

Aqua looked up, startled. Vanitas was staring directly into her eyes. The trembling in his fingers ceased as the Darkness behind him dissipated.

_He… forgives me?_

Those three words bore so much weight, yet also lifted it off her shoulders. Aqua stroked his hand several more times before squeezing it in a gentle hold. She took a few steps towards him, closing the distance as slowly as she could, lest she scare him off. However, he kept his gaze steady with her own. 

Aqua cupped the side of his face with her free hand and stroked his cheek. His pale skin was as soft as it looked. Vanitas shuddered under her touch, then went completely still. He slowly blinked his large golden eyes, the thick eyelashes tickling her thumb, then leaned into her hand and sighed, entwining his fingers with hers. Whatever mental barrier he had placed around himself, she had finally broken through.

“Vanitas, you and Sora aren’t the same person,” Aqua whispered as she caressed his face. “You’re not anyone’s shadow. You’re _you—_ not Sora, not Ven. Besides,” she smiled. “You and Sora don’t look exactly alike. He doesn’t have your eyes.” She hadn’t realized until now that his yellow eyes didn’t scare her anymore. The color no longer reminded her of wolves and feral beasts, but of bright sunlight and molten gold. In Radiant Garden she hadn’t known what to expect beneath his dark mask, but it certainly hadn’t been this. 

Vanitas was right. He _was_ handsome.

They stood together for a long time. A tear escaped Aqua’s eye and trailed down her cheek. Vanitas gently took ahold of her wrist and guided her hand down to the long ragged scar on his right shoulder. She could tell just by looking at it that it ran very deep.

“I got this the first —and _last—_ time I tried to kill my Master,” he murmured.

Everything came back to Xehanort. What he had done to Vanitas and her family was unforgivable. How could one man ruin so many lives? And he was still out there somewhere in the Realm of Light, wearing Terra’s body like a suit. Her only solace was that Ventus and Vanitas were safe from him.

“He can’t hurt you anymore. _I’m_ not going to hurt you anymore,” she choked out with a sob. Her tears were flowing freely, now.

“Shut up, Aqua,” Vanitas said in a gentle tone which held no malice. He squeezed her hand and smiled softly. “I’m gonna tell you something very important, so you’d better listen.”

Her vision was wet and blurry, but she tried her best to meet his eyes.

“You’re _nothing_ like Xehanort, so quit apologizing, okay? All the bad stuff between us is in the past. Without you, here and now, I wouldn’t know what to do. You’re the best damn thing that’s ever happened to me. That’s a fact.”

Aqua nodded, not trusting herself to speak. He finally let go of her hand, only to wipe away her tears. 

“Come on,” he beckoned. “The water’s gonna get cold.”

Warm water did wonders to sooth her nerves. As soon as she stepped into the bathtub, Aqua began to feel better. Water just seemed to be her natural element; Master Eraqus had called her a natural-born swimmer. Vanitas was still standing outside the tub, staring warily at the bathwater with one hand firmly grasping the marble edge.

“Is something wrong?” she asked, sinking until the water was up to her shoulders.

“I’ve never been in water this deep before,” he said hesitantly.

“Can’t swim?”

He shook his head and looked away, embarrassed. It made sense; Vanitas had grown up amongst the dry canyons and plateaus of the Badlands. Ventus hadn’t been able to swim either, when he had first come to the Land of Departure.

“I could teach you,” Aqua offered.

“…No, I think I’ll be okay,” he said, finally stepping into the tub. The water only came up to his waist, but was certainly deeper than the stream in the Dwarf Woodlands.

“Alright, then.” Large as it was, the bathtub wasn’t quite big enough to actually swim in, anyway. Aqua leaned back and ran her wet fingers through her hair to wash out the crumbs of Lemon Cake. She was pretty sure her hair was getting longer; she hadn’t cut it in a while.

Vanitas sank a little further into the bathwater, blinking slowly before closing his eyes as the tension visibly bled out of his body.

Aqua smiled at the sight; he looked so relaxed. She took the little bottle of shampoo and squirted some onto her hands, lathering it through her hair. “Hey Vanitas?”

He opened one eye.

“There’s soap on the edge, there,” Aqua said, nodding towards it. “Do you… need help using it?” she asked awkwardly, praying he would decline.

He snorted. “I think I’ll manage.”

_Thank the Light._

Vanitas reached over and grabbed the bar of soap. He turned it over in his hands before raising it to his nose and giving a tentative sniff. He frowned contemplatively.

Aqua quirked an eyebrow. “Is something wrong?”

“No… It’s just that it smells like Light.”

“You can _smell_ Light?”

Aqua had never considered that Light could carry a scent, as Darkness did. It made sense, she supposed. Master Eraqus had told her the ability to smell Darkness was a rare gift and she should be proud of this skill, though it was often more of a curse than a blessing. Ventus couldn’t sense Light and Darkness at all, and the stench of Darkness had never bothered Terra.

“What does it smell like?” she asked.

“Depends on the heart,” he shrugged, running the soap along his arms. “Ventus’s Light is clean and warm— kinda like a sunny day or a light breeze. Eraqus’s was sterile; stung like needles.”

_Sterile…?_ Did her Light smell as bad to Vanitas as his Darkness did to her? 

“And me?” Aqua asked, curiosity getting the better of her.

He sank deeper into the water until it reached his chin. “…What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever tasted?”

_Sweet?!_

“…Probably the Royalberry Ice Cream I had in Disney Town.” Although some Prize Pod foods _did_ come close. She couldn’t believe he thought she smelled _sweet._ Surely it was just her shampoo.

“Ice cream, huh?” he said wistfully. “Probably like that, then.”

“What does Darkness smell like to you?” 

Vanitas blinked. “Darkness smells?” 

“Uh…” Aqua hesitated. Could Vanitas not tell how bad Darkness smelled? Had he really gotten so used to it? Or could he not smell it at all? She bit her lip.

“That bad, huh?” he deadpanned before continuing to wash himself. “Good to know I still make you nauseous.”

“Vanitas… It’s really not that bad, honestly.” That wasn’t untrue; his scent _had_ improved over time. “Although you _could_ take baths more often…” she mumbled, rinsing out the shampoo suds from her hair.

“Yeah, yeah…” He rolled his eyes, although she could tell from his smirk that he wasn’t too insulted. Vanitas set the soap back down near the combs and picked up the shampoo bottle, shaking it a little. “So uh, how do I use this?”

“I can show you. Turn around for me?”

He hesitated before handing her the bottle and turning away from her, glancing back over his shoulder. Aqua squirted out more shampoo and worked it into a foam. Vanitas tensed as her fingertips brushed his scalp.

Her eyes softened with concern. “Are you—?”

“I’m fine,” he said quickly. 

His shoulders relaxed after a few moments so she continued lathering the shampoo through the absolute rat’s nest that was his hair. Vanitas squirmed around, especially whenever her fingers caught on a tangle. 

“Hold still, will you?” she scolded exasperatedly. “And close your eyes unless you want shampoo in them.”

He grumbled something under his breath but complied.

Aqua washed out his hair before taking up a comb and brushing through the matted black spikes, Vanitas swearing and complaining loudly whenever she tugged too hard.

“I don’t understand how you can live with your hair all tangled up like this, especially wearing that helmet,” she said, shaking her head. “I’ve never seen anyone with spikier hair.”

“What about Sora?” Vanitas asked, looking back at her.

“Not even him. _Maybe_ Zack…”

His eyebrows furrowed. “Zack? Who’s he?”

“Just someone I met at the Olympus Coliseum…” Aqua said, blushing a little. She wondered if he still wanted to go on that date… Hopefully he’d found some other pretty girl to woo. Aqua was a little preoccupied at the moment.

“Hmm…” Vanitas frowned before facing forwards again.

She finally stopped brushing his hair when she could easily run her fingers through it. Aqua petted his head, smoothing down the spiky locks that wanted to spring up again. Vanitas leaned into her touch. Ven had always enjoyed this sort of affectionate brotherly gesture from Terra— although to her, Vanitas didn’t exactly feel like a sibling. 

Aqua didn’t quite know what she was doing. She pressed up against his back, tentatively sliding her arms around his waist and resting her chin against the side of his head.  Vanitas went stock still, but his breathing was even. The comb tumbled from her fingers and sunk into the bathwater.

“I’m so sorry this happened,” Aqua whispered. “I wish things had been different for you.” She hugged him closer, resisting the sudden urge to trace over his scars.

Vanitas shook his head, wet hair brushing against her face. Now that it was clean, his hair was surprisingly soft. “Don’t wish that, Aqua. If things hadn’t gone this way, I never would’ve met you.”

“I suppose not,” she sighed.

“Hey, Aqua?” he asked, peering up at her.

“Yes?”

“Will you sleep with me?”

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Vanitas toweled his hair dry in front of the bathroom mirror while Aqua rummaged around for clothes in the adjacent bedroom. She hadn’t spoken a word to him since getting out of the bath. He had just asked a simple question and she’d started blushing furiously and shaking her head. Had he said something wrong _again?_ Honestly this whole past hour she’d been behaving strangely. 

Was it because he had called her beautiful? Sure, he’d been teasing her, but it wasn’t as if it was untrue. Vanitas had simply stated a fact, one he had known since he’d first seen Aqua during his secretive outings to the Land of Departure— trips he had taken unbeknownst to Xehanort in order to spy on Ventus’s pitiful training. Vanitas hadn’t dared roam too closely to the castle, but even from a distance he could see that Aqua’s hair was a unique hue, reminding him of rain and storms. Not to mention those sparkling blue eyes…

Vanitas lightly touched his cheek where she had placed her hand. He felt… _different_ somehow, but looked the same as always. Seeing his own bare skin without the Dark Suit was always an odd experience, but not too unfamiliar— although he’d never gone so long without his Suit completely covering his body, nor given so much consideration to his scars. Sure, each scar had a story, but some of them were so old, scattered, or random that his memory of the events had faded. Others he wouldn’t forget for the rest of his life.

He contemplated his reflection. Vanitas rarely had the opportunity to see himself so clearly. His mask had been the only reflective surface in the Badlands; it wasn’t the best mirror. He’d only called himself handsome to tease Aqua; he hadn’t expected her to take it so seriously. Vanitas knew he wasn’t particularly attractive. Still, having a face was so much better than being the blank doll he’d been born as. 

Vanitas had hated this face when he was younger —the black hair and yellow eyes— because it wasn’t _his,_ wasn’t Ventus’s; it was why he wore the mask. Over time he had grown to like that it made him distinct in his own way, more than just a shadow. But now he knew his face was Sora’s, and he wasn’t so unique after all.

He gazed into his own eyes. The dark circles beneath them were the lightest they had ever been, though his irises still retained their inhuman yellow glow. And yet… Aqua had _complimented_ his eyes— or so he assumed. She had said they were _different_ from Sora’s. Was that a good thing? Vanitas didn’t know the color of Sora’s eyes, but guessed they were blue like everyone else’s. As far as he could tell, nearly every being of Light had blue eyes. Only he and Xehanort had yellow eyes. Them, and the Heartless. What did Aqua see, when she looked into eyes as steeped in Darkness as his?

Shaking the rest of the water out of his hair like a dog, Vanitas entered the bedroom. Just like the bathroom it was gilded top-to-bottom in gold, with a high blue ceiling and an enormous red bed sitting in the middle of the golden tile floor. The room was so large only half of it was illuminated by the candelabra on the bedside table. Aqua stood next to the wardrobe, dressed in a periwinkle nightgown. Did she ever wear anything that wasn’t some variation of blue?

“Are you sure you don’t wanna sleep with me?” Vanitas asked. “Unless the bed’s not big enough…”

_Or maybe she just doesn’t want you around, idiot._

_Shut up. That’s not true._

“That’s not— It’s not about the bed. When you asked me that, I thought you meant…” Her face turned a little pink again as she fidgeted with her nightgown. “People don’t normally sleep _in the same bed_ together.”

“Why? Is that ‘indecent’ too?” Honestly all these social formalities were starting to give him a headache. Maybe he’d let a little too much irritation slip into his voice because Aqua was looking at him with a slight frown.

“Vanitas,” she said gently. “Why do you want to sleep with me?”

The answer was simple, but required him to admit another weakness. Well, he’d already been doing that all day, so one more wouldn’t hurt.

“I don’t wanna be alone,” he said honestly.

Aqua contemplated his answer, searching his eyes before nodding. “Alright. You win.”

He blinked. “Really?”

“Mhm. Don’t make me change my mind,” she warned, though with a smile warm enough he knew she wouldn’t actually go back on her word. Aqua contemplated him for a moment. “Are you sure you don’t want a change of clothes?” she asked. “That —what did you call it, a Dark Suit?— looks uncomfortable to sleep in.”

Vanitas frowned. “What’s wrong with my Suit? I’ve worn it all my life,” he said defensively. Aqua was right, of course. His Dark Suit was itchy, and occasionally restrictive, but it was all he’d ever known. He’d literally been _born_ wearing it. Besides, it had its benefits. It was weaved from fibers of Darkness, and could therefore repair itself automatically. He’d like to see normal clothing do _that._ But, since he’d already taken most of it off… 

Vanitas called on his inner Darkness to make the Suit recede, retracting it from his legs. Aqua squeaked and turned around. 

_Seriously, what the hell is her problem…?_

He rifled through the wardrobe until he found men’s sleepwear— a deep burgundy color. He struggled a little pulling on the pants, even more so trying to put on the nightshirt. Aqua finally turned around at the sound of his struggling and sighed in exasperation. 

“Vanitas here, let me help.” She pulled the shirt over his head.

“Yeah, well. It’s not my fault normal clothes are stupid.” He refused to be embarrassed about this. Vanitas tugged a little on the nightshirt, intrigued by the odd tactile sensation of soft fabric against his skin and the smooth, cool tile beneath his now bare feet.

Aqua was staring at him again. 

“What?” he asked sharply. Was she going to criticize his choice of sleepwear, next?

“N-nothing. It’s just you look so… ordinary,” Aqua said, taking his hand in a gentle hold.

Vanitas shivered slightly but didn’t pull away from her touch. “I’m anything but ordinary,” he protested.

“Yes, I know. You’re a _‘heart of pure Darkness’,”_ she said with a wry smile.

“Hey, smirking is _my_ thing.” He attempted to scowl but it came across as more of a pout.

Aqua giggled, squeezing his hand tighter. He could feel her Light through her fingertips, all dazzlingly warm and sweet. His chest felt lighter, as if a great weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Vanitas placed his free hand over his heart as he realized that —for the first time in forever— he wasn’t in pain.

“Are you alright?” Aqua asked, releasing his hand.

“Yeah…” he breathed before smiling at her. “Never better, actually.”

“Oh, good,” she said, though she still looked a little concerned. “I’m not hurting you, am I? With my Light?”

Vanitas slowly shook his head and grinned more broadly. “Your Light hasn’t hurt me in a long time.”

Aqua nodded but still looked like she wanted to say something.

“What is it?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

She averted her eyes and intertwined her fingers with the lace of her nightgown. “…I don’t know if I should—” 

“Just spit it out.”

Aqua sighed. “…Why do you kill the Unversed?”

_Oh._

Vanitas slowly sat down on the edge of the bed, hands in his lap. Aqua sat next to him.

“…A lot of reasons, I suppose,” he said, staring down at the golden tile. “I kill them ‘cause I hate them. Their existence has caused me nothing but pain and misery my entire life. They’re proof of my failure; my lack of control, humanity, wholeness…” He looked up. “Why do you ask?”

Aqua leaned forward, resting her hand near his thigh. “I just don’t want to see you hurt yourself like that. You understand, right?”

Vanitas tilted his head forwards but didn’t dare speak. Now that Aqua had combed it out, his hair was long enough that his dark bangs fell over his eyes.

She continued in his silence. “It’s just that sometimes it seems like you _want_ to get hurt, and I can’t…” Aqua shook her head. “You don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to, but… I don’t want to see you in pain, Vanitas.”

“That’s not…” He sighed, curling his hands into loose fists as he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. She was right; he _didn’t_ want to talk about this… but he felt like he should. “I don’t _enjoy_ pain, necessarily. But having to endure it for so long… I guess I’ve grown used to it, you know? It’s to be expected.”

Her eyes softened. “No one should have to expect pain.”

Vanitas snorted half-heartedly. “Tell that to Xehanort. He knew pain was the best teacher.”

“What he did to you wasn’t right. You have to believe that.”

He blinked slowly before dropping his gaze to his shaking hands. “…Maybe. But my Master knew what he was doing. Pain, loneliness, hatred… It _did_ make me stronger.”

Throughout all his years of suffering, Vanitas had grown accustomed to conflict and violence. It was Xehanort who had taught him to hate the Worlds, that hatred would make him strong. He’d been right, of course. Xehanort was no fool. Hatred —whether towards himself or others— was Vanitas’s greatest weapon, with which he could create his most powerful Unversed. He had to give the old man grudging respect for that, at least. Other lessons he’d learned on his own.

Pain fueled strength. Xehanort hadn’t needed to teach him that; destroying his own Unversed had been educational enough. The more Vanitas hurt the Unversed— hurt _himself,_ the more powerful he’d become. He had channeled all that pain, hatred, and sorrow into power. In a way, Vanitas had become just as power-hungry as Xehanort— for if he gained power, he would never be hurt again. The X-Blade would’ve made him invincible.

“It’s not entirely Xehanort’s fault. You should know by now that I love to fight. It’s what I’m best at… The _only_ thing I’m good at, really. Fighting was all I lived for— the adrenaline, the _rush,_ the only thing that actually felt _good…_ even if I had to go through pain to get it.” He curled his legs up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. “I spent all that time in the Badlands alone, knowing no one would ever save me; no one even knew I _existed._ Pain was the only thing that could fill the void in my heart, and I would rather have that than nothing at all. Sometimes I almost liked it, ‘cause it was the only thing reminding me I was still _alive…”_

He had _wanted_ to be empty, once… asleep just like Ventus, unable to feel anything at all. But that time had long since passed. Vanitas peered through his bangs at Aqua. She’d just been sitting there, listening quietly. Her eyes were dry but she still looked miserable… Perhaps she didn’t have any tears left to shed. He swallowed thickly and continued. “Maybe I convinced myself I liked pain ‘cause I had to, ‘cause otherwise—”

_I’d be even more of a broken wreck than I already am._

“…I guess I’m pretty fucked up,” he chuckled humorlessly. “Now I just want it to _end.”_

“Vanitas—”

“Don’t mistake my words,” he interrupted quickly at the sight of Aqua’s wide, fearful eyes. Vanitas uncurled his legs and took both of her hands in a gentle hold. “I told you, I don’t wanna die. If I did, I would’ve ended this a long time ago. I just… I just don’t wanna _hurt_ anymore.” His voice cracked pathetically. It was all he could do to not start sobbing in front of her. “I wanna be happy but I’m just so _broken…_ I need help. I know you can’t be my Light, but I just want… I _need_ something, but I’m so scared to ask…” 

Aqua squeezed his hands. “You can ask me anything.”

He looked directly into her eyes. They were so beautiful, as deep and blue as the ocean and practically glowing with an inner Light.

“Aqua, will you… be my friend?”

Her arms were around him in an instant, squeezing tight. Vanitas gave a muffled grunt of surprise. She quickly released him, looking just as shocked as he felt.

“Oh! Light, I shouldn’t have— I should’ve asked permission…”

“Aqua, it’s fine.” He shook his hair out of his face and gave her a lopsided smile. “I’ll uh, take that as a yes, then?”

“Of course! Oh Vanitas, don’t you see? We’re already friends.”

“Huh. I guess I’m a little slow on the uptake.” He rubbed the back of his neck.

“I told you I care about you, silly,” she smiled. “But you need to care about yourself, too.”

“…I’ll try,” he promised. And he _would_ try. For Aqua’s sake, if not his own. Vanitas tentatively spread his arms towards her. “Can I…?”

She blinked before realizing what he was asking for. “Of course you can; anytime you need.” Aqua leaned forward, wrapping her arms around him. Her fingers ran down the thin fabric of his nightshirt and spread warmth across the sensitive skin of his back, still tender from the amount of Unversed he’d spawned earlier today. 

Vanitas leaned into her warm embrace, hugging her close. He now realized how much he craved Aqua’s touch; he hadn’t known how much he was starved for it. The closest thing to physical contact he’d ever received prior to meeting Aqua had been the heel of Xehanort’s boot.

_Don’t think about him. He’s ancient history._

For once his mind didn’t talk back. Vanitas buried his face in Aqua’s hair. He inhaled as slowly and silently as he could, letting her soothing scent waft over him, a sweet, fruity mixture of Light and shampoo. The mysterious Hunger stirred deep within his chest but he felt too content to pay it much attention. Perhaps nothing could truly fill the void of his heart, but right now the hole felt just a little bit smaller.

Maybe having Light wouldn’t be so bad, if it came from _her._

“Aqua… Thank you,” Vanitas whispered.

“Thank _you_ for opening up to me, and letting me help you,” she returned gently, running her hand over his spiky hair in a vain effort to tame it. “You don’t have to do that stuff to yourself anymore, okay? You’re already plenty strong. In fact, you’re the strongest, smartest, bravest person I know. No one else could’ve gone through what you have and come out of it so well. You’ve already improved so much. You’re not broken, Vanitas. You’re my _friend,_ and you’re going to be okay.”

_Friend. I’m her friend, and she’s mine._

Vanitas silently nodded into Aqua’s shoulder, something cold and hard inside him melting as warmth blossomed in his heart. Tears dripped from his eyes, staining her nightgown. He didn’t feel sad, so why was he crying?

Vanitas held on to her for several more minutes. He never wanted to let her go, but Aqua eventually did that for him, loosening herself from his embrace. “We should get some sleep,” she suggested softly.

“Yeah, alright…” he yawned. He really was exhausted.

Aqua crawled over to her side of the bed and snuggled into the soft blankets. Vanitas blew out the candles and curled up next to her, a little space between them.

He glanced at her with a small grin. “I guess friendship isn’t so stupid, after all…”

She laughed. “I think it’s worth it.”

“…Me too. ‘Night, Aqua.”

“Goodnight, Vanitas.” She squeezed his hand one last time before rolling over onto her side.

Vanitas smiled. Even in the dim light, he could see Aqua’s blue hair flowing out across her pillow like a small river. She really was beautiful… and strong, and smart, and kind. She really _cared_ about him… And best of all, she was his _friend._ Not a single being in all the Worlds could ever hope to mean more to him than she did, now.

_Congratulations, Ventus. I’ve outgrown my need for you. I have Aqua now; she’s all the Light I need._

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

_Where… am I?_

All around him was an empty expanse of black. The darkness below his feet peeled away to reveal a circular platform, featureless aside from its steady white glow. He peered over the edge into the inky nothingness below.

He heard something in the distance. A woman was running across a similar platform which floated near his own. She wore an elegant blue ballgown, and had blue hair to match. She was beautiful. Something was chasing her closer to the edge of her platform, a Dark, black-haired beast. As the woman drew closer, it suddenly dawned on him that he knew her name.

“Aqua!” he called to her from across the gap between their platforms.

She ran towards him, relief washing over her features. Reaching the edge of her platform, she reached a hand out towards him, but the gap between them was too wide. The monster slowly stalked closer behind her. He reached for her; their fingers almost touched, but he flinched back upon seeing the checkered band adorning his left wrist.

_I— Who—?_

This was wrong. _He_ was wrong.

“Ven!” Aqua pleaded from the other side.

_I’m not— That’s not my name…_

In his momentary hesitation the beast had caught up to her. Its teeth clamped tightly around her neck and her scream was silenced as the monster ripped the vocal cords from her throat. Its claws dug into her torso, slashing through her ballgown to reveal mangled skin beneath. Aqua choked and gurgled on the blood that poured from her mouth and throat, staining her tattered dress with red. 

He couldn’t do anything. He couldn’t move, couldn’t speak. All he could do was stare at her from across the platform, sheer horror rooting him to the spot. Even as the Light faded from her eyes, Aqua met his gaze with an accusing glare.

The beast caressed her dying body even as it devoured her, tearing through raw chunks of sinew and flesh and he could do nothing but stand and watch and silently beg it to stop, even though he knew it never would. When it reached her chest the monster finally paused, locking its feral eyes with his and flashing a psychotic grin before sinking its teeth into her heart.

His last thought was of how horribly familiar its yellow eyes were.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Vanitas awoke suddenly, though his own yellow eyes remained squeezed shut and his body was paralyzed with fear. Something feather-light was touching his arm. His instincts screamed that he was being attacked—

No. He was safe and warm in bed; next to him was Aqua, alive and well. Vanitas could sense her Light, her sweet scent. She was gently touching his arm, her Light washing over him through her fingers. Had she noticed his nightmare? It had been a while since the last time he’d dreamed he was Ventus, and seeing that twisted mockery of his own face, teeth dripping with Aqua’s blood…

He must’ve woken her with a noise. Willing himself to not be embarrassed, Vanitas allowed her sweet Light to sooth him into a state of calm. There was nothing to be afraid of, just a dream. There were far scarier things in the waking realm.

Aqua withdrew her hand and rolled back onto her other side. He listened to her breathing slow to a steady rhythm, like a heartbeat. It was strange to think, a little less than a month ago, they had been enemies. Less than a month ago, he had wanted to eat her heart. And now…

_Aqua is my friend. No matter what, I have to protect her. She’s all I have._

Vanitas didn’t want to be a monster anymore.


	8. Chapter 8

Aqua awoke the next morning to find the bed empty. She yawned loudly and stretched, briefly glancing around for any sign of Vanitas— but the open door signaled he had already gotten up. Aqua set one foot on the floor and immediately pulled back in surprise as her toes came in contact with something soft and rubbery. She peered over the edge of the bed to find she had stepped on a little quivering puddle. It blinked open two tiny red eyes and stared at her. A Flood? But why was it blue? The Unversed slithered off into the hallway before she could inspect it too closely.

Frowning slightly, Aqua stood and headed towards the bathroom. She had to wade through a pile of clothing to reach the bathroom door— some articles were from last night while others were obviously new additions. A quick look around told her that the bathroom was also empty. Her messy, cake-covered outfit from last night was unsurprisingly still on the floor, while Vanitas’s mask was surprisingly still on the sink counter.

Aqua once again found herself tempted by her own morbid curiosity. She gingerly picked up the helmet and weighed it in her hands. It was rather heavy, but Vanitas was obviously used to the weight. She studied it, the ugly piece of opaque black glass embedded in jagged grey metal. Why did he wear this, other than to conceal his emotions? Unless… Aqua’s mind wandered to the scars covering Vanitas’s arms, chest, and back… but none had been on his face. Her grip on the helmet tightened as she grit her teeth together. This hideous thing had been his only protection against Xehanort’s torture. And yet he had left it here this morning. Why?

Quickly glancing once more to the open bathroom door to make sure its owner wouldn’t catch her in the act, Aqua placed the mask upon her head. She steadied it in place —it really was _very_ heavy— and looked at herself in the mirror. While she could see out of the mask perfectly fine, her vision only a little darkened, she couldn’t see her own face at all. It was rather odd —not to mention _eerie—_ wearing the mask herself. How did Vanitas dismiss the visor? Probably through the same Dark bond he had with the rest of his Suit. What was it like, wearing clothing he could control with his mind? Was it possible for Aqua to make some sort of… Light Suit? 

Her neck was getting tired from holding up the mask. Aqua pulled it off before she could get caught and placed it back on the sink counter. Washing her face and getting dressed in a lacy white morning gown, Aqua considered the previous night. 

Vanitas had accidentally woken her up in the middle of the night. He had been sweaty and shaking, curled tightly into a ball with his knees drawn close to his chest, all while whimpering her name. He must’ve been having a nightmare, given the Dark mist that had been swirling behind his back. Could Vanitas summon Unversed in his sleep? That Flood couldn’t have come from nowhere, after all. Just how dangerous was it to sleep near him? Or perhaps a better question would be, what had caused his nightmare in the first place?

…She should go check on him to see if he was alright.

As Aqua arrived on the first floor, she smelled something coming from the kitchen— something like food not-quite burning. She walked quickly down the hall.

“Fuck— _Shit!”_ echoed across the foyer. 

She picked up the pace.

Aqua paused at the kitchen door and took a deep breath, mentally preparing herself before entering. While still a mess from last evening, the scene before her was… not as bad as she’d been expecting; certainly not as bad as it had been yesterday. Vanitas was standing in front of the oven nursing his thumb in his mouth, with an obviously hot tray of _something_ sitting on the counter along with an open cookbook and various messy bowls. A Yellow Mustard twitched in the air behind him and the strange blue Flood was gallivanting around the room. 

_…This is what my life has become._

Vanitas noticed her. “M-morning!” he greeted, hastily hiding his hand behind his back.

“What’s all this?” Aqua asked _—though the answer was obvious—_ with a tone which was part amused and part concerned.

“…Breakfast,” Vanitas answered sheepishly.

“I can see that.” Aqua tried to peer around him, but he shuffled to keep his hand hidden. “You’re hurt,” she pointed out.

“I’m fine,” he gave his usual response.

Aqua was having none of that. “May I?” She held out her hand, palm up.

Vanitas blinked before hesitantly placing his bare hand in hers.

She inspected the burn. It didn’t look too bad, but probably still hurt a lot. “Next time, you should cast Cure immediately,” she chided lightly as her healing spell took effect, the glittering green light dancing around his fingers.

Vanitas rolled his eyes but gave a slight grin. “Whatever you say, _Doctor_ Aqua.”

Ignoring his sarcastic quip, she stepped back to really look at him. Vanitas was no longer wearing his Dark Suit, but rather a red dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and a black unbuttoned waistcoat, as well as a pair of slim black trousers— all obviously keeping to his iconic color scheme. It seemed he was also reluctant to abandon his boots or his red belt, though thankfully it was without the skirt.

“Here, let me…” Aqua reached for his waistcoat. Vanitas stiffened slightly before relaxing, watching with mild interest as she did up the buttons for him. She placed her hands on her hips after finishing, smiling as Vanitas admired her handiwork. “You look good,” Aqua said before she could stop herself.

Vanitas glanced up quickly, his startled expression giving way to a mischievous grin. “Implying that I didn’t look good before?”

“You know what I mean,” she rolled her eyes to hide her slight embarrassment. “I thought you said you wouldn’t be ‘caught dead’ wearing these?” Not that she was complaining. Vanitas looked… _normal._ Maybe he _did_ have some fashion sense, after all.

Vanitas snorted and leaned against the counter, crossing his arms. “You’d have to kill me again for that to happen,” he deadpanned. “But between Master Xehanort and every Heartless in the Dark World, you’ll have to wait in line.”

Aqua winced slightly at his joke. At this rate, she and Vanitas very well might have to face down all kinds of danger, if there were more higher-grade Heartless like the Shadow Stalker lurking in the Castle. Fighting Xehanort would be no picnic either, especially not while he was possessing Terra. Would she even be able to face him again…? 

Not to mention, she would have to awaken Ventus before she could even _think_ of confronting Xehanort. To do that she would need to find his heart, but how? Not even Vanitas knew where he was. Even still, the two of them would have to try. Of course, their first priority was escaping the Realm of Darkness.

Vanitas’s face had fallen while she was contemplating this. “Come on, Aqua. you have to admit that was pretty funny,” he muttered glumly, interrupting her thoughts. “But if you’re really _that_ worried, just know I’ve got no plans of dying anytime soon, okay?”

“Of course,” she chuckled softly, putting on a small but sincere smile. “I’m sorry. It _was_ funny, I was just thinking…” 

Vanitas hummed thoughtfully and tilted his head, regarding her closely before shrugging. Aqua glanced at the hot tray, upon which sat a half dozen unidentifiable dark brown blobs organized into two rows. She recalled the first and only time Terra had attempted to cook pancakes. He’d nearly burnt down the kitchen, so at least Vanitas’s cooking skills weren’t _that_ bad. All in all, if it weren’t for the two fledgling emotions roving about the kitchen, she’d say it was a rather domestic scene.

As if reading her mind, Vanitas stood up a little straighter and cleared his throat. “I should probably clean these up,” he said, gesturing towards the Yellow Mustard. Vanitas caught the jittery electric Unversed around its middle and absorbed it in a flash of black smoke. 

“Doesn’t that hurt?” Aqua asked worriedly.

“Not usually,” he replied. “Reabsorbing them just gives me the emotion back— no pain. Sometimes the elemental ones give me trouble, though.” Vanitas shook out his hand, tiny sparks of lightning jumping between his fingers.

If he could just reabsorb the Unversed painlessly then why did he always kill them so violently? Well, at least he was putting in an effort to not hurt himself… 

_I can’t think about that now; today is a fresh start._

Vanitas reached for the blue Flood next, but it bounded out of his grasp and headed straight for—

“Aqua!”

She squeaked in surprise as the Flood climbed up her leg and clambered over her shoulder. It chittered softly in her ear. “Vanitas, what’s it doing?!” The murine Unversed wasn’t attacking her, but its tiny pointed feet were digging sharply into her back.

“I don’t know— _Come here!”_ Vanitas lunged, grabbing for the Flood but it leapt off, using Aqua’s shoulders as a spring board and scampering out into the foyer. Vanitas’s momentum carried him far enough that he collided directly into Aqua.

She gasped in surprise as she tried to keep her balance, somehow suddenly finding herself trapped between Vanitas and the kitchen counter, his arms braced against the countertop on either side of her and their chests pressed together. Vanitas blinked up at her, disorientated. Heat rose in Aqua’s cheeks as their eyes met, the heavy pressure of his Darkness coiling lazily around her heart. 

With his close proximity, Aqua suddenly realized that his Darkness didn’t carry the same scent as it once had. Her nose tingled with a strangely familiar smell, that of the Land of Departure’s woodlands on the rare occasion a lightning storm lit the conifers ablaze— pine smoke and sweet resin, cozy and dangerous at the same time. Had soap and water really made that much of a difference? Or had something else about him changed? Aqua cleared her throat and Vanitas quickly drew back, taking his oddly nostalgic scent with him. 

“I don’t know what’s wrong with that one,” he muttered, shaking his head and confusing Aqua for a moment. She’d forgotten about the blue Flood. “I don’t remember summoning it, but it’s been annoying me for the past fifteen minutes. I nearly dropped the tray ‘cause of it, _and_ I burned the food.” Vanitas sighed in frustration, drumming his fingers against the countertop. “I even used the cookbook this time…”

Aqua shook off her embarrassment. Now that she had the chance to take a proper look, she could tell that the dark brown blobs were supposed to be muffins— though made without the proper kind of tray, they were more like biscuits.

“I thought I could make you a nice breakfast, but…” He sighed again. “I don’t know; I’m not good at this. Maybe I should just stick to Prize Pod food.”

“Well, I don’t know about _that…”_ Aqua frowned, inspecting a muffin now that it was a bit cooler. It was certainly dark around the edges, but it didn’t have any signs of eggshells or other oddities. “I’d definitely call this an improvement.” 

Vanitas still looked unconvinced. Aqua was reminded of the way Terra used to sulk if he didn’t get something right on the first try. Back then she had sometimes teased Terra, especially when it came to his lack of cooking prowess, but perhaps that hadn’t been the right thing to do. Vanitas needed encouragement, not derision.

Fetching a plate from the cabinet and a knife from the rack, Aqua sliced into the muffin. The inside looked surprisingly good— golden yellow with dark red spots of some sort of fruit. Cherryberries, probably. “Look, it’s not burnt; just a little crispy,” she said, showing it to Vanitas before taking a bite. It was sweeter than most muffins —not a surprise, given who had made it— but still very tasty. “Thank you for making this,” she beamed.

Vanitas blinked in surprise before his whole face lit up into a wide grin. “Yeah, well. It was nothing.” He ran a hand through his black hair, ruffling the spikes. Seriously, how _did_ he fit all that under his helmet?

“Your hair is longer than I thought it was,” Aqua mused aloud. “I guess it was just all tangled up.”

“Really?” he asked, twisting a dark lock between his fingers.

“Mhm.” She reached over and tucked a stray strand behind his ear. 

_So soft…_

Aqua was suddenly aware of just how close she was standing to him and quickly stepped back, unsure if it was embarrassment at her own impulsiveness or just because she didn’t want to take up his personal space. “S-sorry, I didn’t ask permission…”

“Aqua, it’s _fine._ Seriously.” He took ahold of her free hand and squeezed gently. “I— I like it. It’s nice.” He slid his other hand over hers, a nearly imperceptible tremble in his fingers.

Aqua slowly placed the muffin back on the plate. “Vanitas, do you need…?”

He gave a quick nod.

She opened her arms and Vanitas rushed forwards into her embrace, burying his face into her shoulder and enveloping her once again with the smokey-sweet scent of firewood. Aqua found herself hugging him back surprisingly tightly, running a hand through his soft hair; she hadn’t realized how much she’d missed simple human contact. How long had it been since she’d last hugged Terra in person, or ruffled the real Ven’s hair? Months? _Years?_ Time didn’t matter the Realm of Darkness, and her memories of this place prior to entering the Castle of Dreams had swirled together into one dull blur of grey.

_What would I have done without Vanitas?_ Aqua thought solemnly. _Would I have fallen prey to the Heartless, or perhaps faded away into the Darkness…?_

It was something she didn’t want to contemplate. Aqua closed her eyes and leaned her cheek against the side of his head. Life without Vanitas seemed impossible now, as impossible as life without Master Eraqus or Terra or Ven. But… the Master was gone forever; Aqua knew that. And the longer she stayed in the Dark World, the further and further Terra and Ventus’s chances slipped away…

_That’s enough,_ she scolded herself. Terra and Ven weren’t dead; not yet. She was going to get them back, and she wouldn’t be doing it alone, now that she had Vanitas by her side. The two of them would survive this, see the light of day again. She knew they would.

“You smell good,” Vanitas mumbled into her shoulder, abruptly yanking her out of her thoughts.

Aqua’s face went beet-red as she awkwardly replied, “Y-you too.”

He pulled back and stared at her incredulously. “Lying again, are we? That’s not very becoming of a _Master,_ Aqua.”

“I’m not lying!”

“Yeah, whatever.” Vanitas rolled his eyes. “Come on, let’s eat before the muffins get cold.”

Once situated at the long table in the dining hall, Aqua ate her breakfast while watching Vanitas deftly utilize a knife to spread butter across half a muffin. The past few weeks, both his table manners and his overall utensil skills had improved immensely. His etiquette wasn’t perfect —she still had to remind him to keep his elbows off the table sometimes— but compared to how he had _started…_ he might as well be a prince.

“So, what are we doing today?” Vanitas asked as he finished off the last bite of breakfast.

Aqua leaned back in her chair and slowly sipped her Heroic Orange Juice, thinking. She was still partially exhausted from yesterday’s activities, from combatting the Heartless to baking the Dancin’ Lemon Cake, not to mention the amount of emotional turmoil she’d suffered the past couple of days. Aqua needed a break, something to distract herself from her thoughts. There were chores to do around the Castle— that was simple enough. And she needed to start on Vanitas’s Wayfinder.

“Well, the kitchen’s still a mess, and I need to do the laundry, and… a couple other things,” she listed off the tasks, careful to keep the last one a secret. “Just boring stuff.”

Vanitas hummed in acknowledgment and picked up his plate, taking it to the kitchen. Aqua gathered her own dishes and followed suit, placing them in the sink before grabbing dishcloths from the cabinet. Vanitas idled near the icebox, his eyes flicking between her and the messy countertop.

“Do you need something?” Aqua asked.

“…I wanna help,” he mumbled, his gaze lowering to the floor.

Aqua blinked at him in shock, lips parted in surprise. Vanitas had never offered to help clean anything… But then, he’d never been so eager to cook before, either. Was he still feeling guilty about yesterday? Not that she didn’t welcome the help, but… “You don’t have to—”

“I _want_ to,” Vanitas interrupted more forcefully. “Might as well make myself useful,” he muttered under his breath.

She frowned at his tone. “Well, alright… You can start by doing the dishes,” she said, handing him a dishcloth.

Vanitas nodded and began scrubbing the dirty plates and utensils in the sink while Aqua set to work sweeping the counter. They fell into what she hoped was a comfortable silence as they cleaned. Aqua considered what Vanitas had just said. He had expressed a similar sentiment the other night.

_‘Glad to know I’m good for something,’_ he’d muttered with a dull look in his eyes. ‘Weak’, ‘pathetic’, ‘stupid’… All words he directed more at himself than her friends, nowadays. Once again, she was reminded of Terra, though this wasn’t exactly the same. Even when Terra beat himself up over every little mistake, he’d never gone as far as Vanitas did. Terra had only acted like this whenever he _made_ a mistake. But Vanitas… Vanitas acted as though he _was_ the mistake.

“I really do appreciate the help, you know,” Aqua said. “Ven would’ve complained,” she added after thinking a moment.

Vanitas immediately perked up. “Is that so?”

“Mhm. Oh, he’d whine for _ages_ if I ever asked him to do any chores.” That was an exaggeration, of course. Ventus whined as often as he helped without complaint, though she _did_ always have to ask.

“Can’t trust that worthless loser with anything, huh? Bet he couldn’t do anything right,” Vanitas said enthusiastically, scrubbing with renewed vigor. The plate cracked under the pressure. “Uh… whoops.”

Aqua winced. Okay, maybe this was getting a little out of hand. “Of course, a person’s worth isn’t determined by what they can _do…”_ she backpedalled.

“What?” Vanitas stared at her blankly.

She began to repeat herself. “A person’s worth—”

“I heard what you said.” He frowned in confusion. “What worth does _anyone_ have other than their power? How else are you gonna survive, unless you’re strong? Predators devour prey; that’s just a fact of life, and Keyblade Wielders like us? Top of the food chain.” Vanitas tilted his head. “So what value is there in the _weak?”_ His yellow eyes narrowed on the last word.

_The weak?_

Aqua didn’t like the way he’d said that. She didn’t like it at all. How could he think something so horrible— borderline cruel, even? No… this was _Xehanort_ talking— what the old Master had _taught_ him. 

Vanitas’s spirit had been fractured again and again, his mind twisted and warped by Xehanort’s cruelty. It wasn’t really surprising he’d have difficulty in caring for other people, let alone himself. How could he, when the only other person in his life had done _this?_ Aqua’s eyes hovered on a jagged scar running along the side of his neck before returning to his confused face.

Despite all that, Vanitas’s heart wasn’t totally lost. There was a warmth inside him that was worth saving, someone who in just a short amount of time she’d been able to coax out of hiding. A boy who against all odds trusted and cared about her, opened up to her, allowed her to touch him when no one else ever had… Perhaps she had already undone some of the damage. Aqua couldn’t push Vanitas to change, but she could open his heart and mind to something new.

Aqua sighed. Philosophical discussions about the intrinsic value of human life was not what she had been anticipating this early in the morning; she would handle this as delicately as she could. “Vanitas… why are you helping me clean up?” she asked, deciding to start with something he could relate to. “You’ve never done this before.”

Vanitas slowly placed the broken plate on the counter, his face reflected on its cracked surface. “I guess… If we’re gonna be here for a while then…” He took a deep breath. “I just wanna be useful. I told you; I’m only good at fighting, but… I don’t wanna see you cry anymore. It makes _me_ feel like crying, too. I know that doesn’t make any sense, but… I want you to be happy, Aqua. And if doing this helps, then…” Vanitas trailed off, looking more and more uncomfortable.

She placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. He blinked and looked up at her. “Feeling what others feel and wanting them to be happy… That’s called _empathy,_ Vanitas. It’s why I help people.”

_“You_ can feel other people’s emotions?!”

Aqua startled at his shocked expression. “Well, not _literally._ It’s more like I can read facial expressions to understand what another person is feeling,” she clarified.

Vanitas visibly calmed down at that. What had he thought she meant? “Oh. That makes sense. So, ‘empathy’… It’s like ‘sympathy’?” he asked, tilting his head.

“The terms are related, yes.”

“So… you pity the weak,” he frowned, his expression bordering on disgust.

She shook her head. “No, I _care_ about them. Just like how I care about you— How _we_ care about each other.”

His eyebrows furrowed further. “But _why?_ Sure, _we’ve_ helped each other, saved each other’s lives, but you don’t even know them; what could _they_ ever do for you? It’s not like they can wield Keyblades.”

Aqua bit her lip. Altruism was harder to explain than she thought, and there was no way she’d be able to convince Vanitas that non-Wielders weren’t inherently weak. “It’s not about what they can do for me, but what _I_ can do for _them._ Helping other people feels good because it’s the right thing to do, whether I get something out of it or not.”

“So it’s all part of the selflessness act,” he scoffed. “I don’t get it.”

Aqua sighed again, rubbing her temples. “It’s not an act, and you _will._ Just… think on it a little bit, and it’ll come to you. If you can feel empathy for me, then you’ll be able to feel it for others, too— once we get out of here.”

Vanitas still looked skeptical. “If you say so.”

“I _do_ say so. And just so you know…” Her eyes softened. “There’s more to you than just fighting. You don’t have to be _useful_ to me, Vanitas; you’re worth so much more than that. You’re my _friend,_ and that’s what really counts.”

Vanitas stared at her wide-eyed, an obvious blush rising in his cheeks. “Well, when you put it that way… I’m not so sure you’re that selfless after all.”

Aqua blinked, taken aback. “What makes you say that?”

“‘Cause you _do_ get something out of it… You get me as a friend,” he winked with a grin.

Aqua snorted lightly and ruffled his hair. “That I do. And you get me, so we’re even.”

They finished cleaning the rest of the kitchen, scrubbing until it was spotless.

Vanitas placed the wet dishcloth on the counter. “Hey, so… you really think I look _good?”_ he asked sheepishly, tugging on his shirt collar. His face was still a little flushed.

“Mhm,” Aqua nodded sincerely. His new outfit was perhaps a little old fashioned compared to… say, Radiant Garden. But for this World? _“Very_ stylish,” she complimented. “Why’d you choose to wear that, anyway? What about your mask?”

“It’s… more comfortable this way,” he shrugged, looking a little nervous. “And… I thought you might like it…”

Aqua blinked. Why would that matter to him? “You should wear what _you_ want, Vanitas. As long as you wear _something,”_ she amended quickly.

“Oh, well now you’ve gone and ruined my afternoon plans…” he said with a disappointed pout. “And here I was gonna streak around the Castle, naked…”

_He— he’s not serious…!_

Vanitas laughed as Aqua’s face turned bright pink. “I’m kidding! I swear, you’re making this _way_ too easy. Don’t worry; I’ll wear clothes, seeing as it’s such a big deal to you.”

“It’s a big deal to a lot more than just me,” she huffed, shaking her head. 

He snorted. “What, you see anyone else here? This Castle’s a ghost town.” He crossed his arms. “Speaking of which, I should probably off any more Possessors that might be floating around. You said you saw something weird before we played Fruitball, right?”

Fruitball? Oh, right. That had been over a week ago, but Aqua _had_ heard something strange when she’d gone to fetch a ball from the storage closet. “Mhm, in a hallway on the first floor. There’s these suits of armor…” She frowned, her eyes flicking down to the scars on his exposed forearms. “Are you sure you can handle them on your own?”

Vanitas raised an eyebrow. “Do I _look_ like I need a babysitter?” His voice held a slight edge.

Aqua blinked and averted her eyes. She hadn’t meant to imply he was helpless; she just wanted him to stay safe… 

Vanitas seemed to notice her discomfort. “Aqua, I’ll be _fine,”_ he assured in a softened tone. “You said you’ve got shit to do, right? And my magic skills _could_ use the practice. Ice isn’t exactly my forte.”

“Well… alright. If you’re done teasing me, I _do_ have some very important laundry to take care of.”

“See? This is why normal clothes are stupid. You have to wash them and, uh… Well, whatever else you have to do.” Vanitas took a step towards the doorway before glancing over his shoulder. “I’ll yell if I need anything, okay? So quit worrying so much.”

Aqua nodded. “Be careful.” 

_He’ll be alright,_ she assured herself, parting ways with Vanitas and heading up to the fourth floor sewing room.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Now dressed in her outfit fresh from the laundry complete with a new pink skirt, Aqua settled down at the wooden table in the sewing room. _Pinewood,_ she thought with a blink before shaking herself. She laid out the materials she’d gathered to craft Vanitas’s Wayfinder— soft silver metal, bronze thread, and several sheets of colorful glass— along with her own Wayfinder for reference. 

Which color would suit him best? Black was obvious… No, too boring. Purple? Closer, but not quite… Aqua closed her eyes. What colors came to mind when she thought of Vanitas? Gold was first, that strikingly bright shade of his eyes, but it was too similar to the orange of Terra’s Wayfinder. Ven’s was green, and her own charm was blue… so what about red? Aqua examined the sheets of red glass from her selection, passing over vermilion, scarlet, and burgundy until she settled on a deep yet vibrant crimson which gradated to maroon.

And what would she do for the symbol at the center…? Aqua’s hand went to the silver pendant on her chest. She removed it, turning it over and over in her hand, considering. This pendant was the same symbol as on the other three Wayfinders, and was necessary to complete the charm. But she had received it as a sign of her apprenticeship to Master Eraqus. Should she really use this for Vanitas’s Wayfinder?

She ran her thumb over the hairline fracture where Vanitas had scratched it with his Keyblade. Aqua had to chuckle at the irony. It was so strange to think, she and Vanitas had been enemies, once. And now he was one of her closest friends. They’d changed. Both of them had. What would the Master think of her now, making friends with the Darkness? Would he accept her as he had in her dream-memory? Or would he be more like that horrible phantom…?

There was a thump outside the door. “Vanitas?” Aqua asked, hurriedly replacing her pendant and throwing a tarp over the table before he could see what she was working on. But instead of Vanitas walking through the door, a dark puddle slithered under it.

Aqua hopped up and summoned Master Keeper, but what formed from the puddle wasn’t a Shadow like she’d been expecting, but the little blue Flood from earlier. It cocked its triangular head to one side, staring at her with tiny red eyes. Aqua held perfectly still, unsure whether or not to break eye contact, her grip loosening around her Keyblade before tightening again. What should she do? If the Unversed attacked her, then she would have to defend herself… But if she killed it, that would hurt Vanitas.

The Flood approached slowly, like a cautious animal, before darting under the table. Aqua yelped and jumped back, but the Unversed remained hidden underneath the furniture. She stood there for a whole minute, wondering if she should fetch Vanitas so he could come clean up his wayward emotion. 

Dismissing Master Keeper, Aqua turned to leave, but a soft chittering sound stopped her in her tracks. She looked back to where the Flood had stuck its little quivering snout out from underneath the table. For the second time today, Aqua’s morbid curiosity was piqued. Why was this Unversed acting so strangely? Even Vanitas didn’t know what was wrong with it.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” she reassured it. The creature just stared at her with its unblinking red eyes. Aqua felt a little silly, talking to an Unversed. But… the Vile Phial yesterday had obeyed her command, hadn’t it? And they were a _part_ of Vanitas…

Swallowing down her trepidation and throwing caution to the wind, Aqua crouched down and held out her hand towards the Flood. If it attacked her, it wouldn’t be anything a simple Cure spell couldn’t fix. The Unversed stared for several more moments before hesitantly crawling forward, the tip of its pointed snout almost brushing against her fingertips. She leaned forwards and the Flood ducked and quickly drew back, sitting on its haunches and quietly regarding her. 

Aqua wiggled her fingers, trying to coax it closer, but the creature now seemed distracted by a sight over to her left. She looked in the direction it was facing, spotting a row of wooden drawers lined up against the wall. Aqua hadn’t noticed before how one drawer was slightly ajar, a faint blue glow emanating from it.

_What is that…?_

Giving one last glance towards the Unversed, Aqua strode over and opened the drawer— gasping at what she saw inside. Upon a blue silk pillow in a little silver box rested a single sparkling glass slipper. 

“How did you—?” she turned to ask the Flood, but the little blue Unversed was already squeezing itself under the doorframe and back into the hall. Aqua sighed and gingerly picked up the pillow holding the glass slipper and sunk into the chair at the table, setting it in her lap. Why was Cinderella’s slipper here? Was this her personal sewing room? It _was_ on the same floor as the royal suite…

Aqua suddenly felt like an intruder in her friend’s home; it wasn’t her right to use these things. She figured stealing food was passible as a means to survival, but these clothes, these materials— They were all non-essentials. But… perhaps Vanitas was right. What use was any of this stuff to an empty Castle, who’s inhabitants had already fallen prey to the Heartless? Despite providing her and Vanitas shelter for the past three weeks, the Castle of Dreams was hollow and devoid of life— A world swallowed by Darkness along with the Dwarf Woodlands and quite possibly the Enchanted Dominion.

_What if it’s too late for Cinderella? And Snow White, and Prince Phillip, too…? Their Worlds, lost to Darkness… What if I never see them again?_

Her grip on the silk pillow tightened. No one else knew of these Worlds, their people— Jaq and the Fairy Godmother, the seven kind dwarfs, the three good fairies… With Terra possessed, Ventus comatose, and Vanitas’s overall apathy and distain towards the common folk, Aqua was the only one left to remember and mourn them.

Memories… Would that be all she’d have left of Terra too, if she couldn’t release him from Xehanort’s hold? Of Ven, if she couldn’t find his heart? Would her missing friends become nothing more than memories within her heart? That irreversible fate had already befallen Master Eraqus. Aqua had yet to truly allow herself to mourn the Master’s death. Always on the move, fighting for her life, trying to escape… She’d told herself she didn’t have time for tears.

_‘The Master tried to destroy me,’_ Ventus had said. Aqua hadn’t wanted to believe it at the time, but now…

There was a horrible thought, one she’d shoved to the back of her mind— of Terra shrouded in Darkness and standing above their fallen Master, Ends of the Earth dripping with blood and Master Xehanort at Terra’s shoulder, whispering venomous words of false praise… But after taking in both Terra and Vanitas’s accounts, along with what Ventus had said so long ago in the Graveyard, the image had now changed— Terra, defending Ven from Master Eraqus, and Xehanort, his wicked Keyblade poised to plunge into the Master’s back… 

Aqua had thought Terra was the aggressor, that he had killed Master Eraqus out of rage, allowed the Darkness to take his heart… But no, it was the _Master_ who had fallen, who had really tried to _kill_ Ven. What difference was there in Light and Darkness when even the Master, someone with a heart of nearly pure Light, was capable of such a terrible deed? Aqua couldn’t quite picture it, her kind and loving Master, the man who had been like a father to her and her friends, raising his Keyblade against Ventus with the intention to kill… But she couldn’t hide from the truth anymore.

Even if— no, _when,_ she scolded herself… Even when she saved Terra and Ven, her family would remain permanently broken. They would never be able to go back to the simple life at the Land of Departure. Her home was broken too, fallen to Darkness same as all these other Worlds… Transformed by her own hand into something bleak and sterile.

She would never see the Master again. She would never hear his gentle words of encouragement during training or listen to his wise teachings. He would never be able to enjoy her sweet cakes or exchange lighthearted banter with Terra and Ven. She had taken Master Eraqus for granted, same as everything else in her life. And now he was gone, forever. All she had left was Vanitas, at least until she rescued Terra and Ventus.

Aqua didn’t even know if Vanitas would be able to get along with her other friends, or if he would even _want_ to befriend them, seeing as he hated them so much. Would Terra and Ven accept him as part of their family? Perhaps Terra would, now that he knew Vanitas had saved her life, but what about Ven? He was the one Vanitas had hurt the most. 

Would she be forced to choose? Choose between her family and the boy she now called a friend? Who had saved her in more ways than one? 

…Who was also partially to blame for all this? Who had attempted to start a second Keyblade War, who had shattered Ven’s heart and caused his coma, who had distracted her from her efforts to save Terra…

_No… Vanitas is my friend. I’ve already forgiven him; I can’t go back on that now._

Then what was this specter of doubt weighing heavily on her chest? When they returned to the Realm of Light, would Vanitas _really_ stand by her side? 

Aqua’s resolve cracked, and her tears began to fall.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Vanitas wandered the hallways back up towards the fourth floor. Killing the remaining Possessors had gone off without a hitch. Sure, his Dark Blizzard spells hadn’t been casted with the finest finesse, but they’d been good enough to get the job done. Those Heartless wouldn’t be bothering him and Aqua for a very long time.

The real question was, what now? Despite his earlier joke, Vanitas really didn’t know what he and Aqua were going to do today. Maybe they could play a game again… The chess incident wasn’t something he wanted to repeat, but they hadn’t played Fruitball for a while. Maybe Aqua would come up with a new game! Vanitas grinned with excitement, increasing his pace. 

Hopefully Aqua would be done with the laundry by the time he got back. Vanitas really didn’t understand what the big deal about wearing clothing was. Sure, his Dark Suit kept him warm and his mask offered plenty of protection when it wasn’t shattering in his face, but other than that, what were clothes for? Decoration? Sure as hell seemed that way. 

As for his new outfit, Vanitas had simply copied what the prince in the storybook had been wearing, though he refused to wear pants quite _that_ wide. Aqua thought he looked ‘stylish’, so he’d obviously chosen well. Vanitas rubbed his new shirt collar between his fingers, fascinated by the soft material. Between bathing more often and wearing normal clothes, tactile sensations were just another strange thing to get used to. Well, as long as Aqua liked it, he’d bathe and wear clothes _every day_ if that was what made her happy.

And it wasn’t as if she didn’t have the right idea; despite requiring stupid things like ‘washing’, normal clothes _were_ more comfortable than his Dark Suit— although he hadn’t completely ditched his old outfit. Vanitas had kept his boots and belt, though he had left its navy-blue fabric behind; the prince hadn’t been wearing anything similar. It was an odd feeling, not having something swishing around his legs, but not too much of a loss. However, there was another article of clothing that he hated to admit he actually _did_ miss.

Vanitas felt vulnerable without his mask. Even though he’d stopped wearing the visor weeks ago, the lack of its heavy presence on his jaw felt strange. Like his Dark Suit, he’d been born wearing it, a featureless mask to hide his featureless visage— Dark and inhuman… What he truly was under the human facade Sora had unwittingly granted him. A faceless freak, as Aqua had once called him— a side of him he didn’t want her to see… And so he had ditched the mask.

Yes, Vanitas felt vulnerable without his mask… but also more free. 

The way Aqua had touched him last night, her warm, soft fingers against his bare cheek… Vanitas truly hadn’t known what to expect from Aqua’s hands. A cut? A bruise? A new scar? Then again, his Master had never needed his _hands_ to deliver discipline. The sharp bite of a Keyblade, a well-placed kick to the jaw, a bolt of Dark Thundaga… All had been more than enough to educate Vanitas. The old man needn’t get his hands dirty. Shocking then, that someone as pure as Aqua _would ever wanna touch YOU._

Vanitas flinched.

Aqua had been so worried about him last night; she needn’t be. Sure, she’d given him a handful of scars, but Aqua wasn’t Xehanort— she wasn’t like him at all. The scars she’d given him had been from combat, when she’d been fighting for her life as much as he’d been fighting for his. Aqua had always ceased whenever he was incapacitated, never needing to hurt him beyond that. She’d never held a Dark Firaga to his skin or pinned him down with a Keyblade at his throat. No, Aqua would never be anything like Xehanort; it just wasn’t in her nature. Vanitas hoped she could see that.

She had broken down something inside him last night, or perhaps built something back up. Was that the power of Aqua’s Light? Could she even do such a thing? She wasn’t a Princess, after all… But something about Aqua’s approval made him feel… Well, Vanitas wasn’t quite sure. But his pulse quickened every time she praised or complimented him. Aqua’s Light eased his pain, that was certain, but it still didn’t explain why he felt so _different_ on the inside.

He’d barely felt any pain at all today, other than when he’d accidentally burned his hand earlier this morning, and hadn’t felt a single Unversed stir since before breakfast. Maybe… maybe someday soon… he could go an entire day without pain. 

Vanitas froze. _A… a whole day…?_

Dizziness overtook him along with shortness of breath. He braced his hand against a wall, barely registering as his fingers brushed against the smooth, cold stone. That was what beings of Light felt, right? They didn’t have to feel pain like this. This was… _normal_ for them. Normal people didn’t have hearts that constantly burned and ached. Normal people didn’t have hordes of monsters writhing under their skin. Normal people didn’t have Masters who left them sobbing and bleeding out in the middle of the Badlands.

Vanitas suddenly slammed his fist against the wall, leaving a crack in the stonework. He blinked in surprise at the stinging pain. Right, he wasn’t wearing his gloves anymore; he’d need to be more careful if he wanted to keep his promise to Aqua. Vanitas pulled back, staring at the droplets of blood beading out of the fresh scrapes on his knuckles. Red, just like hers; human.

_Am I…?_

The question hung unspoken in the empty air, and went equally unanswered. Vanitas slowly drew himself out of his stupor, casting Cure to seal up the tiny cuts and licking the remaining blood off his hand until it was clean.

Vanitas stood there silently for a long moment, contemplating the familiar taste of copper. He felt fear when Aqua was hurt and anger when she was sad, and he couldn’t help but smile and laugh when she did. Vanitas had thought these strange feelings were the Light encroaching upon his heart, but perhaps it was this ‘empathy’ instead. If Aqua knew a word for it, then perhaps what he was feeling was normal… Unless empathy was also a part of the Light?

He shook his head. Whether or not Aqua’s theories about him were true, this one didn’t matter. There wasn’t anyone else around to test these feelings on, nor would there ever be. It was easy to like Aqua; she was his friend. But Vanitas doubted it was possible for him to feel this way for anyone besides Aqua… Then again, he had never thought he’d feel this way about _her,_ either…

Reaching the sewing room, Vanitas paused to knock on the door, remembering how Aqua had yelled at him for barging in yesterday. He heard what sounded like a muffled ‘just a second!’ and the scraping of chair legs before Aqua slowly opened the door. Vanitas startled upon seeing how wet her eyes were. “H-hey, did something happen?” he asked, instantly concerned.

_I only left her alone for a little while…_ Apparently that had been a mistake.

“No, not really,” Aqua sighed. “Something in the back of my mind just caught up with me, and…” She trailed off as another tear fell from her eye.

“Damn it, Aqua. I hate it when you cry,” Vanitas said softly. 

She sniffled. “I’m sorry. I hate crying, too.”

“Don’t _apologize,”_ he said exasperatedly. “Here…” Vanitas hesitantly reached up and ran his thumb across her cheeks, wiping away the tears. It was the least he could do.

Her expression softened. “Thank you,” Aqua whispered, gently catching his hand before he could pull away.

Vanitas squeezed her fingers in return and clasped his other hand around hers, stroking her wrist. “You uh, wanna talk about it?” he offered with a half-shrug— not that he really knew what to say. Words of comfort always failed him, but wasn’t this what friends were supposed to do?

She averted her eyes. “…I’m not sure you’d understand.”

He scoffed lightly. “You said I’m smart, right? So try me.” Vanitas tilted his head as he noticed something glowing behind her— a sparkling object sitting on a pillow in the middle of a tarp-covered table. “Hey, ain’t that the Princess’s?”

“Mhm.” Aqua let go of his hand and turned to retrieve the object. “It’s Cinderella’s glass slipper— the one Lady Tremaine _didn’t_ break.” She held out the tiny glittering shoe. Vanitas didn’t need the burning sensation in his nose to tell him it was full of Light; the sight of it alone was nearly blinding.

“You’re crying over _that?”_ he asked, trying to not sound incredulous. A broken slipper wasn’t worth crying over, especially when it wasn’t even hers to begin with… Unless she was planning on wearing this one, and couldn’t without the full pair? “It’s not exactly your size.”

Aqua made a choking sound halfway between a laugh and a sob. Vanitas didn’t know what to make of it. If only he could sense Aqua’s emotions the same way he could Ventus’s. It would tell him what was troubling her, at least.

“So are you gonna tell me what’s wrong, or not?” he asked after Aqua composed herself.

She smiled a little sadly and nodded. “Alright, come on. There’s more comfortable places to talk than just standing in the doorway…”

Aqua led him to the royal bedroom, sitting on the edge of the enormous red bed with the glass slipper held gently in her lap. Vanitas reluctantly sat a little further away from her than he would’ve liked, not wanting to get too close to the Princess’s crystalline footwear. He watched Aqua stare at it for a few minutes before tilting his head expectantly, nudging her side a little to catch her attention.

Aqua gave a lengthy sigh and looked at him with tired eyes. “Vanitas… I’m not sure I can keep doing this.”

He frowned at her tone. She sounded… sad. Sadder than she had in a long time. “What are you talking about?”

Her eyes took on a distant look. “These Worlds— the Castle of Dreams, the Dwarf Woodlands, maybe even the Enchanted Dominion… All of them have fallen to Darkness. When we escape, what about the people who used to live here? What happened to Cinderella and Snow White? And Prince Phillip and Aurora too, not to mention Terra and Ven… What good was it, preventing a Keyblade War when everything else is just… lost? No matter what I do?”

Vanitas blinked, open-mouthed. “H-hey, where’s the Aqua from yesterday? Ventus is still safe, and you said you’d rescue Terra, right?”

“I know I did… And I know I should be more positive,” she said, misery still evident in her expression. “I know I have to continue believing and hoping for the future; I keep telling myself that I need to move on, that I can’t keep dwelling in the past, but…”

“It’s hard. I get it. I… I try to forget, too— about Xehanort, I mean. But…”

“The memories keep coming back?”

“Exactly,” Vanitas sighed and ran a hand through his hair. 

Aqua took a little while before she spoke again. “I’m a Keyblade Master. It’s my duty to protect the Worlds, but… I _did_ this. If Xehanort caused the Worlds to fall, then _I’m_ the one responsible; it’s my fault for saving him. All those people are _dead_ because of me.”

“You couldn’t have known—”

“I _should_ have. But even if I had… I don’t know if I would’ve chosen any different.” Aqua placed her hand over the silver pendant on her chest. “Would I really rather rescue Terra and let the Worlds fall in his place? What kind of Master does that make me?” Her voice lowered to a whisper. “How could I be so _awful…?”_

“Shut up,” Vanitas snarled, startling her. He winced at his own harsh tone. Why could he never comfort her properly? “It’s just— you’re not awful, okay? You don’t have to be a Keyblade Master right now. You’re _Aqua—_ just Aqua to me. That’s more than enough.” 

Aqua blinked in surprise and stared straight into his eyes, the reflected glow of the glass slipper making them appear even more blue and sparkling than usual. Her lips parted as though she wanted to say something, before closing again.

Vanitas continued in her silence. “All those people are already gone. You can’t do anything about them, and you shouldn’t worry about Ventus and Terra either. We know they’re still alive, but there’s nothing you can do for them right now.”

Aqua’s gaze turned back to the glass slipper. She ran her thumb along its thin, glittering edges before placing it down on the sheets next to her. Vanitas took that opportunity to scoot closer to her until their thighs nearly touched. To his surprise Aqua leaned into him, resting her shoulder against his.

“Vanitas, can I ask you a favor?”

“What is it?”

“Please promise me you won’t fight Terra and Ven,” Aqua implored. She fidgeted with the edge of her skirt, looking for all the Worlds like she didn’t want to say whatever she was going to next. “I’d appreciate it if you’d help me get them back, but I’d understand if you don’t want to…”

Aqua was right— Vanitas didn’t want to; he didn’t want to at all. He looked away and clenched his fists until his knuckles turned white, digging his fingernails painfully into his palms in an effort to smother the Rage and Jealousy building inside him. Of course Aqua still cared about those two idiots more than him; why should last night have changed anything? So what if he was her friend? He was simply one of three. 

But… Vanitas glanced at Aqua out of the corner of his eye. Was it possible to surpass Ventus and Terra’s friendship with her? Four-plus years were nothing next to an eternity. As long as he and Aqua stayed right here in the Realm of Darkness —this Dark World where time never passed— then perhaps she’d finally realize that she didn’t need those losers anymore— that she belonged with _him_ instead, that here she would be safe from Xehanort. Yes… Aqua would realize that eventually. But as for now…

“Yeah… I promise, Aqua. When we return to the Realm of Light, I’ll help you get Ventus and Terra back,” Vanitas said, not meeting her eyes. It was a promise he intended to keep, yet hoped to Kingdom Hearts he’d never have to fulfill.

_Good thing there’s no way back._ A Mandrake squirmed inside his chest. He wasn’t lying, so why did he feel Guilty?

Aqua looked genuinely shocked before her face settled into a sincere smile. “You’ve changed.”

Vanitas bit the inside of his cheek and looked away. _Have I really changed?_

Maybe a little… Okay, maybe a lot. Vanitas was still violent and selfish and not quite sane; he knew this, so surely Aqua must know it too… Yet she was his friend because she cared about him, and he cared about her. He couldn’t deny there was _something_ different about himself, nor could he deny it was a change for the better. The happiness Aqua made him feel… He wouldn’t trade it for all the Worlds.

He forced himself to meet her steady gaze. “You’re right; I have changed,” Vanitas said in a half-whisper. _“You’ve_ changed me, Aqua.”

She shook her head. “No Vanitas, I think you made those changes yourself.”

“Huh?”

“I’ve realized I can’t force you to change. Maybe no one really has the power to truly change anyone else; at least not on purpose.” Aqua placed a hand over her heart. “I think that’s something that has to come from within— the power to make your own decisions, forge your own path.”

“…My path was set the day I was born,” Vanitas muttered.

“I know Xehanort must’ve told you that, but haven’t you already proven that’s not true?” she pointed out. “He ordered you to kill me, didn’t he? But you chose to spare my life.”

“Yeah… I did.”

Her eyes softened. “See? You’ve already chosen to change. I’ve changed, too,” she chuckled lightly. “If the Master caught me talking to a heart of pure Darkness—”

“He’d kill us both?” Vanitas grinned to match her smile. That was only half-true. He knew Eraqus would never harm a blue hair on Aqua’s head.

Aqua looked stricken. “Maybe Master Eraqus _would_ kill me, if he thought I was dangerous or if I’d fallen to Darkness…”

“Aqua, that was a joke—”

“He tried to _murder_ Ven!” she cried out suddenly, clutching at her skirt. “Just on the _chance_ that the X-Blade might’ve been forged!” Her voice softened to a whisper. “And he would’ve killed you too, just for existing…”

“Well, it’s a good thing he can’t see us now,” Vanitas deadpanned.

Aqua became very silent.

“I mean, not good that he’s dead and all…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Shit, I should really learn to keep my big mouth shut.”

“No, it’s— It still hurts.” She let out a breath. “I’ve never lost someone before. I can’t imagine you know what that’s like.”

“No, I don’t,” Vanitas said matter-of-factly. “But I _do_ know I don’t wanna lose you. When those vines attacked you, and when you fainted, and then yesterday with the Heartless…” He shook his head. “I was just so _worried._ I— I’ve never felt this way about _anyone…”_

Aqua smiled softly, a certain gentleness in her eyes spreading warmth through his chest. Vanitas swore his broken heart skipped a beat. “You’re a good person, Vanitas.”

“I’m not—”

“Yes, you are!” Aqua insisted.

The warm feeling was suddenly gone. “No, I’m _not,”_ Vanitas growled. He was barely a person, much less a _good_ one. No matter how many positive emotions he was able to feel, no matter how much he cared about Aqua, some things were impossible to change. “I was Xehanort’s apprentice for _years,_ Aqua. I helped him do this; forging the X-Blade was only half of my goal. Plunging the Worlds into a Keyblade War was something I wanted just as much as my Master.”

“Did you?” Aqua asked boldly. “Or was that just what you were told?”

Vanitas didn’t have an answer— not one Aqua would like, at least. The Worlds deserved to end— to be destroyed for allowing an empty creature like himself to exist in a state of such perpetual agony, for having no troubles at all while he alone had to suffer like this… His hatred of everyone and everything would make him strong enough to forge the X-Blade and begin the War that would’ve brought that suffering to everyone else. Or at least, that was what Vanitas had believed for the past four years.

And now? Well, now that didn’t matter anymore. The Worlds had fallen even without the X-Blade. Vanitas’s mission had failed, yet the end result was the same. His only solace was that he and Aqua were still alive. Whatever had happened to all the talking animals and pretty Princesses was none of his concern. Aqua was far more important than any of them.

What was the point in arguing with her now? This wouldn’t convince her that he wasn’t the same monster he’d been three weeks ago, nor would it do their newborn friendship any favors. But at the same time he needed to prove he wasn’t just some mere pawn of Xehanort’s. He wasn’t a _pet._

“I knew my own actions, and I took them. I’m not some mindless puppet,” Vanitas said defensively.

Aqua gave him a strange look. “That’s not what I’m saying. What I meant was, you were just a kid; Xehanort didn’t give you a choice.”

“So? I’m not a kid anymore.”

She blew out a long breath. “You remind me of Terra, sometimes. And before you say anything, he’s not stupid. Neither of you are,” Aqua said as soon as Vanitas opened his mouth to protest. “What I mean is, Terra has low self-esteem. He won’t forgive himself even for the tiniest mistakes. He still blames himself for the Master’s death— he thinks it’s his fault.”

“Well, ain’t it?”

Aqua shook her head. “No. It was Xehanort,” she said solemnly.

So the old man _had_ lied. Not surprising.

“Terra said he didn’t know why the Master had tried to kill Ven,” Aqua continued. “But Ventus said Master Eraqus was going to _destroy_ him to prevent the X-Blade from being forged. How could the Master _do_ something like that?” She wrung her hands in her lap, sounding more and more distressed with every word. “I know the X-Blade is dangerous, but… but _killing_ Ven?!”

Vanitas put a hand over hers to calm her. “Ventus made his decision, too. He knew if we clashed the X-Blade would be forged and the Keyblade War would begin, but he wanted to save you anyway. He’d rather let the Worlds burn than watch you die.” And if Ventus would risk the Worlds for Aqua, then Vanitas would destroy them twice over just to keep her safe. His thoughts turned to last night’s horrific nightmare— his own monstrous visage, teeth dripping with Aqua’s blood…

He would never hurt her again. He’d done that enough already.

“S-sorry,” Vanitas whispered, his head tilted down so his hair fell into his eyes. He knew he should say more than that. He’d done so much to cause Aqua pain— things he’d said and things he’d done…

Aqua turned to him, mouth slightly agape. “…What— what did you just say?”

He shifted uncomfortably, not meeting her gaze. “I… I said…” Vanitas took a deep breath. “Aqua, I’m sorry.” He finally looked at her, trying to gauge her reaction. “I’d be lying if I said I regret what I did to Ventus. If I hadn’t gone along with Xehanort’s scheme, he would’ve just killed me— thrown me away and found some other tool to do his dirty work. And I’d never—” Vanitas swallowed thickly and rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. “I’d never have met you,” he whispered before sighing deeply. “Maybe that’s just an excuse. But I _do_ regret everything I’ve done to hurt you, Aqua. I’m sorry.”

She blinked a few times, eyes wide with disbelief until they softened, a gentle smile spreading across her lips. “I forgive you, Vanitas. For everything.”

“You… you do?” he asked slowly, not daring to hope.

“Of course I do, silly!” Aqua giggled. “I’ve forgiven you before, haven’t I?”

The Mandrake in his chest dissolved at her words. “Y-yeah…” Vanitas laughed in relief.

She closed her eyes and shook her head, her grin broadening. “And here I figured you didn’t even know what ‘sorry’ meant,” she teased.

“H-hey! It’s not like I’ve ever needed to say it before.”

“Uh huh. Well, you’ll have plenty of time to practice once we return to the Realm of Light. The first thing you can do is apologize to Ven for breaking his wooden Keyblade.”

Vanitas groaned. “You can’t be serious! I told you he’s outgrown that childish toy.”

“That Keyblade was special to Ven,” Aqua scolded lightly. “Terra made it for him— carved it by _hand.”_

“I know.”

“You _know?”_

“Uh…” Vanitas hesitated. Could he trust her with this information? Just confess another one of his abilities? He studied Aqua’s face, her expression a mixture of confusion and innocent curiosity. 

_…Yes,_ he decided. He could.

“It’s not just his location that I can sense,” Vanitas explained. “I’ve always been able to feel a little of what Ventus is feeling, know a little of what he knows… especially his positive emotions. Comes from sharing a heart, I suppose. It ain’t a two-way street, of course— he doesn’t get any feedback from me. Not without my direct input, anyway.” He recalled the time he’d shared the memory of his birth with Ventus, just before the Graveyard. _That_ had been painful for both of them, to the point Vanitas had been horribly sick afterwards.

“Sometimes I forget you two used to be the same person…” Aqua mused, an inquisitive look in her eyes. “What do you remember from when you were Ventus?”

“Not much,” Vanitas shrugged. “He— I’ve been Xehanort’s apprentice for as far as I can remember. We were twelve when we were split. The week or so before that is a little blurry, mostly fragments— but anything further back is just blank.”

Aqua bit her lip and frowned. “You were robbed of a childhood. Both of you. Maybe… maybe that’s why Ven always seemed so young. He was trying to make up for lost time.”

“I think I did too, when I could,” Vanitas said, then mentally kicked himself. He didn’t need to share _that._

“Hmm?”

“Nothing… Just some stupid kiddie stuff.” He scuffed his boot against the golden tile.

“I doubt it’s stupid,” Aqua said softly.

Should he tell her about this, too? No, he’d spilled enough secrets for one day. “Trust me; it’s really boring.”

“Well, alright.” Aqua frowned thoughtfully. “If you know what Ventus is thinking, then… do you know why he used to be afraid of Keyblades? He was never able to remember why.”

Vanitas gave her a sideways glance, subconsciously running his hand over a scar. “I think you know the answer to that question.”

Her eyes widened in understanding before she lowered her gaze. “I wish I could’ve been there for you.”

“There’s nothing you could’ve done. But you’re here now, and we still have each other, right? That’s gotta count for something.”

“More than you can imagine.” She reached out and brushed a loose strand of hair from his face. “Maybe we can’t change or forget the past… but we can learn from it.”

Vanitas nodded and wrapped an arm around her waist, leaning against her shoulder. Aqua reciprocated the gesture, running her hand up and down his back. He exhaled and closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation.

_Isn’t this backwards? I’m the one supposed to be comforting her, right?_

Vanitas slid around to fully face Aqua, placing his knees on either side of her and straddling her lap.

“What are you doing?” she gasped as he drew her into a tight embrace.

“Hugging you,” he answered simply. Wasn’t it obvious? Vanitas placed one hand between her shoulder blades to keep her from toppling backwards and used the other to stroke her blue hair. It was as soft as Cotton Cloudcandy against his fingers.

Aqua leaned into his chest after a few moments, hugging him in return. “You’re really heavy,” she mumbled into his shoulder.

Vanitas snorted and continued petting her hair. “Things are better between us, now. Aren’t they?”

“Mhm,” Aqua nodded and pulled back. “Vanitas, I think… I’m ready to spar with you, if you still want to.” 

“Really?!” He bolted up in his eagerness, a big smile on his face.

“Now, I don’t want to hurt you—”

“Shut up, Aqua! I already told you it’s fine. I don’t mind if you hurt me.”

_“Don’t say that!”_ she suddenly shouted, startling him. “Vanitas please, _never_ say that.” Her cheerful manner had been replaced by a serious tone. “Maybe we shouldn’t…”

Vanitas found himself both touched and annoyed by Aqua’s concern. On the one hand, he didn’t exactly _enjoy_ being on the receiving end of her Keyblade’s teeth— but on the other, combat was _fun_ for him. Didn’t she know what a thrill it was to fight her? A little pain was nothing next to that rush. Vanitas couldn’t let this opportunity slip away, not when it was so close. 

“Aqua, _please,”_ he implored. “I need this.”

She still looked uncertain.

“It’ll be okay. I trust you— I feel _safe_ with you.” Safer than he felt with anyone.

Her eyes widened and then softened at his words. “…Yes, alright.”

“Awesome!” Vanitas grinned. He grabbed Aqua’s wrist and pulled her to her feet— pausing before sliding his hand down to entwine his fingers with hers. Much more comfortable. “Come on, then!” he said enthusiastically, and headed towards the ballroom with Aqua, hand-in-hand.


	9. Chapter 9

Aqua held Vanitas’s hand as he led her down several flights of stairs towards the ballroom. She hadn’t exactly meant she was ready to spar with him _right this second,_ but just one look at his sparkling golden eyes made her change her mind. One little sparring match couldn’t hurt, anyway.

The ballroom was back to normal, mostly. Aqua had already cleaned and repaired the tile where Vanitas’s mask had shattered to the best of her ability. One stone wall was still cracked from her encounter with the giant Heartless —or Dark Thorn, as Vanitas had called it— but there wasn’t much she could do to fix it other than hang some red curtains over the impact crater. She hoped that if by some miracle Cinderella was still alive, her friend wouldn’t be _too_ upset about the damages. 

“We doing two out of three again?” Vanitas asked, releasing her hand to stand on the far-side of the ballroom before summoning his Keyblade.

“I suppose…” Aqua mused, Master Keeper materializing in her own grip. “Is there really any point in that, though? I’ve already beaten you four times in a row, now. Although I guess I _did_ have a little help from Mickey, once…”

“Mickey…?” He scrunched up his face, perplexed. “Wait, the _mouse king?”_

“That’s the one,” she smiled fondly.

Vanitas scoffed and raised an eyebrow. “You really think you and that rat defeated me all on your own? When I had the _X-Blade?_ Get real. I was fighting Ventus in our heart at the same time.” He tapped the center of his chest. “So that doesn’t count. Neither does the first time; I _let_ you win.”

“Oh really,” Aqua deadpanned. “Didn’t seem like it.”

“I let you walk away alive, didn’t I?” He waved a hand dismissively. “More than once, I might add.”

Aqua couldn’t help but giggle and shake her head. It was so odd, her and Vanitas speaking so casually about the times they’d nearly killed each other. Both of them really _had_ changed. Vanitas wasn’t the same boy in the mask she’d met in Radiant Garden, nor was she the same girl.

While trash talk had never been Aqua’s style, Vanitas seemed a little _too_ good at it. But maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to lower herself to his level, just a little bit. She might as well have fun with it. 

“So are you just going to stand there all day, or are you actually ready to lose again?” she taunted with a grin, tapping her boot near the chipped tile where Vanitas’s mask had shattered weeks prior.

Vanitas gave a bark of laughter. “I’ve really rubbed off on you, huh.”

Aqua shrugged, still smiling. Maybe he had. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing…

“Well, there’s no royal rodents around here this time, so let’s see what you’re _really_ made of,” he said, taking up a fighting stance. “Don’t hold back,” he warned. “I’ll know if you do.”

She scoffed before falling into a stance of her own. _“You_ of all people should know very well what I’m made of. And don’t worry about me holding back. I’m not going to make this a cakewalk.” Still, Aqua wouldn’t hurt him. Vanitas felt safe with her; she wouldn’t break that trust.

Vanitas rolled his eyes with an amused smirk. “Alright, alright… Let’s go!”

True to her word, as soon as Vanitas gave the signal Aqua rushed forwards and went in for a low strike. Vanitas easily parried and returned with one of his own. She jumped back a few feet and then ran around to his left side. He raised his hand, icy crystals of Blizzard magic forming around his fingertips. Aqua cast Barrier and the Dark Blizzara spell reflected off the protective bubble, spreading a glittering sheet of black ice across the floor.

Vanitas grimaced and shook off the frost clinging to his fingers. “That’s colder than I was expecting without gloves,” he mumbled.

“Allow me to warm you up, then,” Aqua teased, gathering a Fira spell at the tip of her Keyblade. “How’s _this!”_ She slashed Master Keeper through the air, launching the fireball in Vanitas’s direction. He casually flash-stepped to the side; the fireball soared through the place he’d been standing only to ignite one of the curtains hanging on the wall behind him.

Aqua gaped in shock. Vanitas doubled over and shook with laughter. 

“Don’t just stand there! Do something!” she shouted in exasperation.

He just laughed harder at that.

_“Vanitas!”_

“Yeah, yeah…” he wheezed, wiping tears from his eyes before casting Dark Blizzard to extinguish the flames. “When I said ‘don’t hold back’, I didn’t mean against the _drapery._ If you wanted to get some remodeling done, you could’ve just said so.”

Aqua’s face flushed as red as the curtains. “Y-you…!”

Vanitas grinned mischievously and leaned on his Keyblade. “You know, as much as I do _love_ your angry face, right now you’re just wasting your energy.”

Aqua huffed and rested a hand on her hip. “You’re just trying to get a rise out of me.”

“Aqua, I’ve been doing that since the day we met. _And_ I’ve got a pretty successful track record.”

“If only your bite lived up to your bark,” she sniffed.

“Ouch, Aqua. That one actually stung a little,” he said mockingly, placing a hand over his heart before a predatory gleam settled in his eyes. “But if biting is what you want, I’d be more than happy to oblige.”

Aqua’s face heated even more, if that was possible. “Just sh-shut up and fight me.”

They continued their faux battle, circling around each other and occasionally exchanging taunts or blows. It was exciting and fun, Vanitas filling the ballroom with laughter both wild and genuine, and Aqua unable to help herself from joining along. She’d missed this, the thrill of fighting without any real sense of danger.

Is this what it would’ve been like, if Vanitas had lived with her and her friends at the Land of Departure? Laughing and training together on the mountainside… Sharing Nutty Nut and Jumbo Almond Cupcakes at picnics… Swimming in the ponds during summer and cozying up around the fireplace at winter… She could see it in her mind, clear as day— another life, another time. The four of them and the Master together at home, at peace…

Aqua just barely dodged a bolt of Dark Thunder.

She shook off the daydream. Pleasant as it was, she needed to focus. Aqua’s attention was drawn between Vanitas’s eyes and his footwork as she attempted to anticipate his next move. He darted forwards and Aqua tensed for his attack. Just as he was about to close the distance, Vanitas disappeared. She spun around, expecting him to flash-step behind her. Her gaze was met with nothing but empty air.

_Where—?!_

“Too slow!” his voice rang out in the direction she’d just been facing.

Aqua jumped to the side to avoid his strike, not paying attention to where she landed. Instead of solid tile like she’d been expecting, her heel slipped on the thick sheet of black ice Vanitas had summoned earlier. She struggled to regain her lost footing before promptly falling hard on her rear.

“Ow…” Aqua groaned, rubbing her smarting posterior. 

Vanitas casually approached, stopping in front of her and resting the flat edge of his heavy Keyblade on her shoulder. “Gotcha. That’s round one,” he smirked. “Give up yet?”

“That was a dirty trick,” she huffed, brushing back some strands of blue hair that had been sticking to her sweaty forehead.

Vanitas just laughed as he helped her to her feet. “That was a _neat_ trick, you mean. I’ve always been a bit of a pragmatist,” he replied, grinning broadly to show his slightly prominent canine teeth.

“Uh huh.” Aqua certainly hadn’t forgotten his previous sneak-attack in the Keyblade Graveyard. She was still shocked it had only barely left a scar. “How do you do that, anyway? The flash-step?”

“Not sure,” he shrugged. “I’ve always been able to do it… Then again, so can Master Xehanort. Maybe it’s a Darkness thing.”

Aqua thought back to when she’d fought Terra-Xehanort in Radiant Garden, how he had flash-stepped right behind her at the start of their duel. She suppressed a shudder. Terra had never been able to move like that; not until the old Master had possessed him.

Terra was always slower but more deliberate in his powerful Keyblade strikes and as steadfast as a mountain. Ventus was fleet of foot and as fast as the wind. But Vanitas, he was both— speed and strength like nothing she’d faced before. Every victory she’d scored against him had been won by the skin of her teeth.

“Do you think I could learn it?” she asked curiously. Having an ability like that in her repertoire would be useful. Although, if it was something instinctual or based in Darkness… In the latter case, would she even _want_ to use it?

“I don’t know,” Vanitas tilted his head, regarding her. “I ain’t much of a teacher. Never been regarded as _‘Master material’,_ if you know what I mean.” He almost sounded bitter.

“I thought you said Keyblade Mastery was a sham.”

“Oh, it is,” he said dryly. 

Did he truly believe the title was so empty? She, Terra, and Ven had always dreamed of becoming Keyblade Masters, ever since they were kids. Vanitas was already nearly as strong as she was, if not her equal. He could easily pass the Mark of Mastery if given the chance. But… if Vanitas had ever hoped of attaining Keyblade Mastery, Xehanort likely would’ve crushed that dream early on. 

“You _could_ be a Master. You never know if you don’t try.”

Vanitas snorted dismissively. “Oh? And who’s gonna grant me _that_ title? Yen Sid? _You?”_

“…I could,” she said honestly. It _was_ her right as a Keyblade Master…

Vanitas stood very still, chewing on the inside of his cheek and staring at her with an unreadable expression. After a long moment he gave an odd laugh and shook his head. “You’re stalling. come on, time for round two.” He walked a few paces away before turning back to face her.

“Can’t I catch my breath?” She was honestly more exhausted than she’d realized.

“Nope!” Vanitas replied gleefully, easily falling back into a fighting stance. “Come on, miss _Master;_ don’t give up so easily.”

Aqua groaned. “Not even my Mark of Mastery exam was this bad…” she muttered.

Vanitas scoffed playfully and straightened up, resting his Keyblade on his shoulder. “At least you _got_ a crack at Terra. I was barely given the chance, you know. Would’ve wiped the floor with him of course… if I’d been _allowed_ to. Xehanort didn’t want me potentially damaging his chosen vessel.” He rolled his eyes. 

Aqua frowned. She still didn’t like Vanitas referring to Terra that way, as if he wasn’t a person.

“He wasn’t much of a match against you though, huh,” he continued. “You’ve always been the better fighter. That’s not a compliment, by the way,” he amended mischievously. “Just the truth.”

That wasn’t entirely true. Terra had always been more physically powerful than her or Ven, and could be quite imposing in one-on-one combat; Aqua just applied her skills differently. It all came down to matter of discipline, really— of self control. Or at least that’s what Master Eraqus had always lectured Terra about… But that wasn’t information Vanitas should know, was it?

“How do you know that?” she inquired. Aqua knew he’d been secretly watching the Mark of Mastery exam, but just how often had Vanitas spied on her and her friends?

“I know a _lot_ about you, remember?” he replied. “Ventus thinks about you and Terra a lot— or rather, he _feels_ things about you two a lot. Sometimes enough for it to feel like I was really there…” His eyes turned distant.

Aqua didn’t know how to respond to that. Just how much did Vanitas know about her life? How many embarrassing details about herself or little mistakes she may have made during the past four years with Ventus? The thought was more than a little unsettling. On the other hand, this mind-reading power of his— or emotion-reading power, rather… The way Vanitas spoke of it made it seem like the Unversed— something he couldn’t really control. Perhaps he hadn’t meant to invade her or her friends’ privacy at all, but was rather an unwilling participant forced to partake in whatever emotions Ventus had unwittingly shared with him. 

She swallowed the urge to ask him what Ventus thought of her; it seemed rude to ask. Vanitas still had that distant look in his eyes. “Are you okay…?” she asked.

He blinked and refocused on her, smiling a little. “Don’t worry about it. I haven’t gotten any feedback from him in a while. The loser’s still sound asleep, wherever you stashed him.”

Aqua gave a slight nod. “That’s good.” Or at least, it was better than the alternative.

Vanitas hummed thoughtfully. “Alright, you’ve had your break. Come on.”

They continued their sparring match, falling into a rhythm of strikes, dodges, and occasional bursts of magic. One particularly swift move from Aqua caused Vanitas to lose his footing, landing on his back with a grunt of surprise.

“Too slow,” Aqua teased, pinning his chest under her boot. The effect was immediate— Vanitas’s eyes widened in terror before turning dull, his entire body slackening against the tile floor. Aqua gasped and quickly stepped off his chest.

Vanitas blinked up at her once— twice— before seeming to come back to his senses.

“Are you okay?” she asked, helping him to his feet. “What happened?”

“I’m fine.” Vanitas’s response was as canned as ever. He rubbed his right shoulder, avoiding her gaze.

“No, you’re _not,”_ Aqua argued. He’d never looked so frightened— so much like a trapped animal. Nothing about that was ‘fine’.

Vanitas was becoming visibly agitated. His yellow eyes flashed as he shot her a sharp glare.

Aqua briefly looked away and took a calming breath. Arguing wouldn’t improve this situation. “Vanitas, I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong,” she said gently.

He lowered his gaze and shuffled his boot against the floor, looking _guilty_ of all things. “I-it’s nothing. Just a bad memory.”

She regarded him warily. Whatever his strange reaction had been, it must’ve had something to do with Master Xehanort; Aqua was sure of it. “Should we stop?” she asked in concern.

Vanitas shook his head. “No… no, I’m good. Let’s keep going.” He stepped back a few paces and raised his Keyblade over his head. Even at a distance Aqua could tell his arm was trembling— perhaps from fear or exhaustion? Either way, if Vanitas kept pushing himself like this, he was bound to get hurt.

“I think it’s best we take a break,” she insisted.

His expression darkened. “I’m not ending this on another tie,” he snapped. “I can do this.”

Aqua frowned at his sudden aggression. Mood swings again— never a good sign. “It’s not that important. We can pick this back up tomorrow after we’ve _both_ had some rest.”

Vanitas only gripped his Keyblade tighter, his breaths coming quicker. Small tendrils of Darkness began seeping from his arms.

_I shouldn’t be so dismissive,_ she realized. _Whatever’s going on with him, it’s important._

“Won’t you tell me what’s wrong?” Aqua implored. _“Please,_ Vanitas; talk to me.” She took a step forwards and offered him her hand in the same manner as she had last night. “I want to help you. Do you trust me?”

“I…” Vanitas blinked before slowly lowering his Keyblade. The Darkness around him dissipated. “Of course I trust you, Aqua. I’m sorry,” he murmured. “It’s just… If I can’t even win against _you,_ then how am I supposed to stand a chance against…” He ran a hand through his hair and gave her a pleading look. “I’m still not strong enough; how am I supposed to protect you?”

So _that’s_ what this was about; he was worried for her safety. She shook her head and took another step towards him. “I told you last night, you’re already plenty strong—”

Aqua gasped and staggered mid-stride as something icy and tight suddenly clenched around her heart. She struggled to keep her balance as the freezing sensation spread through her chest, so cold that it almost _burned._ Had Vanitas cast Blizzara again? No, he wouldn’t harm her. Unless…

Would it really be surprising, coming from a _monster_ like him?

_…_ What? No, that wasn’t how she felt about him at all; why would she…?

_This is… just like before… This… emptiness…_

Aqua couldn’t think— couldn’t _breathe._ It was as if her mind was trapped in a fog. The room spun and blurred, colors swirling together into a dull shade of grey— save for two large, glowing yellow eyes staring straight at her. Heartless eyes. _Xehanort’s_ eyes. Eyes of Darkness, of the _enemy—_

_No… Eyes of a friend… Right?_

Her legs went numb and her knees buckled. Warm, solid arms suddenly wrapped around her as blackness obscured her vision. The boy in the mask… What was his name again…?

…She couldn’t remember.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Vanitas watched in confusion —then horror— as Aqua suddenly collapsed right in front of him.

“Aqua? _Aqua!”_ He darted forwards, sending Void Gear clattering to the floor and catching Aqua before her head could hit the tile. Vanitas stared at her unconscious face in shock. What had happened? This wasn’t— this couldn’t be his fault, could it? He pressed a hand against her cheek and flinched. 

Her skin was as cold as ice.

White-hot electricity crackled up through his spine, a burst of sparks dotting his vision. Vanitas’s thoughts scrambled, his body spasming as a swarm of twitching Yellow Mustards ruptured painfully from his shoulders. Aqua was… _dead?! NO!_ No, she was breathing— shallowly, but breathing. Still, she was _freezing cold…_

Having just violently shed its Panic, Vanitas’s mind worked quickly; a single fact was clear— he had to get Aqua someplace warm. The library’s fireplace was two floors up, but there was one much closer in the dining hall. 

Despite their difference in height, Vanitas easily scooped up Aqua’s limp form and cradled her in his arms. It was then he noticed something else was horribly wrong; her scent —that overwhelming flavor of sugary-sweet Light— was almost completely gone. 

Swallowing hard, Vanitas rushed past his fidgeting swarm of physically manifested Hysteria and down the foyer’s long staircase, past the kitchen and into the dining hall. He laid Aqua down in front of the fireplace before igniting the hearth with a blast of Dark Fire. Vanitas yanked off the tablecloth —ignoring the silverware that crashed to the floor— and wrapped her up as tightly as he could, hoping this would warm her. He checked Aqua’s temperature again. Still cold. Damn it; what the hell was he supposed to do now?

_Think, idiot!_

Vanitas bit down hard on the inside of his cheek and closed his eyes in concentration. The last time Aqua fainted had been during their Glidewinder race, and she hadn’t awoken until he had slapped her. That obviously wasn’t an option; he’d already promised himself he would never hurt her again. 

After she’d woken up Aqua had said she’d felt empty, as if drained of all positive emotions… Had something _stolen_ her positivity? Was that even possible? And how could it have happened right in front of him without either of them noticing? Or perhaps he had unknowingly injured her during their duel…? Vanitas dropped down to her side and cast Cure over her, the sickly green glow casting a ghoulish shadow across her skin. Aqua shuddered but didn’t wake. 

Vanitas stood and frantically paced back and forth, anxiously entangling his fingers in his hair. Had Aqua been Poisoned somehow? He cursed himself for never learning Esuna. Perhaps she was sick… Ventus became ill sometimes, from chocobo pox or the flu… Vanitas himself had never been sick— not really; not like that. The illnesses he had experienced hadn’t been caused by something as middling as mere _disease…_ Unversed squirmed inside his chest. Vanitas swallowed again to keep both bile and something much more deeply unpleasant from rising in his throat. Now wasn’t the time for it.

He cast Cure on her again. This time Aqua gave no response. Vanitas grit his teeth and resisted the powerful urge to chew the inside of his cheek bloody or tear out black fistfuls of his own hair. He needed to save his meager healing magic for Aqua. Vanitas cast Cure again and again until his Mana ran dry, yet Aqua did not wake. Whatever had caused this wasn’t an injury, that much was clear.

_Why is this happening?! What the fuck did I do…? This must be… This is all my fault…!_

_Of course it’s your fault, idiot. It’s always been your fault. She says she’s your ‘friend’. So what? Does that really change anything? She’ll leave you, no matter what you do… and then you’ll be alone again. You were always meant to be alone, you disgusting, useless,_ empty _creature—_

_Shut up! Just SHUT THE FUCK UP already!_

A guttural, animal cry tore from his lips as he screamed into his hands, the sound muffled against his palms. Unversed slithered off his back and bubbled up from his shadow. Soon negative emotions of all kinds stalked the dining hall, all his Terror and Sorrow and Frustration hopping, flapping, and crawling about. Red eyes leered from the gloom, kept at bay from Aqua’s prone form only by Vanitas’s sheer force of will.

If Aqua were to— If she were to die… 

_I’d have nothing left to live for._

Vanitas’s broken pulse pounded in his ears. He couldn’t lose her— his first and only friend. The only person in all the Worlds who treated him as if he were a human being, as if he were more than just vermin, more than just some Dark _thing…_

_It doesn’t matter what Aqua thinks; she’s wrong. Stop pretending you’re not a monster._

His emotions hissed and chittered around him. That’s right… Vanitas knew he was a monster and a maker of monsters. It was what he’d been created to be. Without Aqua, would he have to go back to that life again? Of nothing to do but be trapped wallowing in his own misery and spreading Unversed? Alone? Forever? 

…Or would that half-existence even be worth living?

His eyes strayed to the Dark flames devouring the logs in the hearth, reducing them to pale ash and blackened cinders. His vision blurred with tears.

_Why…? Why am I so weak…?_

It was a full twenty minutes since she’d collapsed before Aqua finally woke. 

“Vanitas…?” came her soft voice. Blinking blearily, she attempted to sit up while struggling to untangle herself from the tablecloth.

“Aqua!” Vanitas cried out and embraced her in a crushing hug, throwing his full weight against her and digging his fingernails deeply into her bare back. 

Aqua gasped and tried to steady herself. “Ow, Vanitas! That’s too tight—!”

He loosened his grip— but just barely, drawing back far enough to see her bewildered face. He couldn’t believe it. She was fine… Aqua was _fine._ “I thought… I thought you were—” He choked back a sob.

Aqua gave him a perplexed look as if she thought he was crazy. Well, she wasn’t _wrong…_ “What happened?” she asked, placing a hand on his arm. “Are you alright?”

Vanitas gave a shaky laugh, taking her hand as he stared at her incredulously. “Am _I_ alright? Aqua, you— What do you remember?”

She glanced at the fireplace, eyebrows furrowed. “We were sparring, then suddenly I felt cold and dizzy…” Her eyes widened in realization. “Did I faint again?”

He nodded, wiping away the dried tears from his cheeks. “I was so worried, Aqua. You— you scared me.” He fixed her with a firm glare. “Don’t ever do that again,” he growled seriously.

“I didn’t mean to,” she frowned, looking a little miffed.

“I— I know.” Vanitas flushed slightly and rubbed the back of his neck. Of course Aqua wouldn’t do that on purpose. Unless she really _was_ pranking him… He pushed that paranoid thought aside, only for it to be replaced by another. It sounded ridiculous, but… “Was it the muffins?”

Aqua blinked. “What?”

“The Cherryberry Muffins. Did they make you sick?” If he had unintentionally poisoned her…

“I— No.” She shook her head. “You ate them too, remember?”

“…Right,” he sighed in relief. Maybe this wasn’t his fault after all. 

Just as Vanitas was beginning to relax, Aqua jolted, staring wildly around in startled apprehension. He followed her gaze and realized she must’ve just noticed the horde of Unversed still surrounding them. With Aqua awake, he’d honestly forgotten their presence.

“Vanitas…” she whispered fearfully, tightening her hold on his hand.

“Don’t worry,” he quickly assured her, reaching out to caress her face. “I won’t let them hurt you.” 

Vanitas stood and strode through the Unversed swarm, inky black tendrils of Darkness snaking from his back to grab each creature and reel them in. Vanitas gasped and staggered as he drew his negative emotions back into himself all at once. They were unpleasant, thick, slimy emotions that weighed heavily on his heart, but without any physical pain to accompany them they settled back down in his chest without any danger of bursting forth again.

He turned back to where Aqua was sitting. “You’re okay now, right? Didn’t hit your head or anything? I’m out of Mana, but—”

“Vanitas, I’m fine now,” Aqua interrupted softly. “What about you? You made so many Unversed…”

“…I was worried,” he explained with a shrug.

Aqua’s blue gaze pierced right through him. _‘That was more than a little worry,’_ her eyes seemed to say. Wordlessly she opened her arms for a hug. Vanitas was more than happy to accept her offer. He embraced her more gently this time, stroking her soft hair and nuzzling her neck, filling his nose with as much of her sweet, calming scent as he could. It was returning, slowly but surely. Between that and her increasingly warm body heat, he knew she would be alright. 

Vanitas took in a shaky breath before speaking, his voice barely above a whisper, “I can’t lose you…”

“You won’t,” she assured him, running her hands up and down his back. “I’m right here.”

That’s right… Aqua wasn’t going anywhere.

_It’s just the two of us; no one else… Exactly how it’s meant to be._

“I’m sorry I scared you, Vanitas,” she continued, her voice low. “I really didn’t mean to. I honestly don’t know what happened.”

“I know. I’m sorry I blamed you, Aqua,” he apologized again and drew back a little. “Can I make it up to you somehow?”

Aqua smiled a little playfully. “A drink would be nice… And maybe something to eat?”

He laughed weakly. It _was_ almost lunchtime… “Sure, I’ll see if I can whip something up. Don’t worry, I won’t touch the stove.”

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Aqua watched Vanitas enter the kitchen before taking a glance around the room, suppressing a groan at the sight of the silverware strewn all across the floor. She untangled herself from the rest of the tablecloth before laying back on top of it, soaking up the heat from the fireplace next to her.

What in the Worlds had happened?

Aqua rubbed her chest to dispel the sensation of tightness and a strange, lingering chill. The last thing she remembered was feeling as if something was _squeezing_ her heart, before waking up to Vanitas’s tear-streaked face. His eyes had been wet last night too, but she’d never actually seen him _cry_ before. Not to mention all those Unversed… Aqua had _felt_ the negativity wafting off them. Whatever had happened had been dire. Just how long had she been out?

Aqua pressed a hand to her forehead, still a bit lightheaded. These blackouts couldn’t be normal, could they? Of course, the last few days she’d been fighting the Heartless, sparring with Vanitas, dealing with emotional stress, not to mention casting the most powerful lightning spell she ever had in her entire life… And here she’d been worried _Vanitas_ had been pushing himself too hard. Perhaps the cold in her chest was a side effect of using too much ice magic yesterday?

“Maybe I just overdid it,” Aqua mused aloud. She wasn’t entirely sure she believed that, but what else could it have been? A soft chittering sound startled her out of her thoughts. She bolted upright, instantly regretting it as the tension in her head increased. Looking for the source of the sound, Aqua spotted the strange blue Flood poking its head around the doorframe. “Hello…?” she greeted it uncertainly. The creature dived into the floor and slithered over to the table, popping out again to peer at her from between the chair legs. 

Just what did this Unversed want from her? 

Aqua nearly screamed when the Flood scrambled towards her and jumped into her lap. She was halfway from casting Fire before realizing it wasn’t attacking her. Instead, it curled up against her like a cat. Aqua’s eyes flicked towards the door before returning to the Flood. Vanitas wasn’t doing this, was he? He _had_ become rather… _affectionate,_ since last night; he really did have a way of invading her personal space… But then, she couldn’t really blame him. Vanitas had been deprived of four years worth of hugs; Aqua was more than happy to indulge him.

She cautiously rested her hand upon the Unversed’s back. The creature squirmed slightly but otherwise remained seated in her lap. Aqua ran her hand along the Flood’s smooth, rubbery hide. Unlike the chilly Darkness exuded by the Heartless, the Unversed’s skin was mildly warm. It chittered again, turning its small pointed face to nuzzle her fingers. It was actually kind of _cute._

“You’re a strange little one,” she murmured, scratching it under the chin. The Flood made a low warbling noise, almost like a _purr._

Could this day get any _weirder?_

Vanitas took that moment to walk in from the kitchen. “I made you a sandwich,” he announced cheerily, setting down a full plate and a glass of water on the dining table. “I didn’t know what you wanted, so I just—” He stopped mid-sentence as he spotted the Unversed.

Now, Master Eraqus had always praised Aqua on her maternal instincts —much to her mild chagrin— especially when it came to caring for Ventus when he had first arrived to the Land of Departure comatose and zombielike. However, she had never in her wildest dreams thought she’d feel the urge to protect an Unversed. But from the way Vanitas’s expression darkened and his yellow eyes burned with malice, she suddenly wanted to defend the little blue Flood. As though sensing the danger it was in, the Unversed leapt from her lap and took off, sprinting on its tiny pointed hindlegs towards the door.

_“What are you doing?!”_ Vanitas practically screamed after the fleeing creature, flexing his fingers as if to summon his Keyblade. “Get away from her!”

Aqua stood as quickly as she could on shaky legs, grabbing Vanitas’s arm as the Unversed scurried out the dining hall. “Wait, don’t hurt it!” she pleaded. “I don’t think it’s dangerous.”

Vanitas rounded on her, his face twisted into a snarl— canine teeth bared; eyes wild and gleaming. Not for the first time, Aqua worried for his sanity. _“Not dangerous?!”_ he shouted incredulously, his tone bordering on hysterical and loud enough to aggravate her already growing headache. “Aqua, you _sure_ you didn’t hit your head? I’m pretty sure we both know the Unversed are _dangerous.”_

“Not this one,” she protested “It hasn’t tried to hurt me.”

Vanitas scoffed and narrowed his eyes.

“You said it yourself, this one’s different.”

“How so?” he growled.

“It’s… tame, I guess.” Was that a strange thing to say about one of Vanitas’s emotions?

“Tame…?” he repeated quietly, his gaze trailing to the door through which the Unversed had escaped.

Aqua sank into a chair at the table, feeling somewhat drained. “I think it knows you’re trying to reabsorb it,” she suggested. It would explain why the Flood continually fled from its master.

Vanitas huffed and looked at her. “Unlikely. The Unversed aren’t _that_ bright. It’s just acting out its emotion.”

“Its emotion?”

“Yeah…” He slowly took his usual place opposite her at the table. “Each Unversed is born from a different negative emotion. Floods are my Fear, Anxiety, Irritation… Guess you could say they’re Antsy.”

Anxiety? Aqua felt a twinge of sadness for how common those particular Unversed were. Was Vanitas dealing with that all the time? Although, something didn’t quite add up— the blue Flood hadn’t acted scared or agitated around her; quite the opposite. “And the others?”

“What, you want a list?”

“Just curious.”

Vanitas hummed thoughtfully, drumming his fingers against the tabletop. “…Alright. But you better eat that,” he gestured to her lunch. “Don’t let my cooking go to waste.”

Aqua ate her sandwich —a simple yet tasty one filled with lettuce, cheese, and ham— while Vanitas explained each of his Unversed and the emotions that comprised them. Bruisers, Shoegazers, and Red Hot Chilis all fell under Anger and Frustration. Archravens and Axe Flappers were made of Dread and Terror. Blue Sea Salts, Scrappers, and Mandrakes came from Sorrow, Loneliness, and Shame. Yellow Mustards were Panic, Triple Wreckers were Confusion, Chrono Twisters were Boredom; the list went on and on.

Aqua listened closely, partially out of morbid curiosity but also because she realized this could help her figure out what Vanitas was feeling, no matter how cryptic he insisted on being. She had never thought each Unversed was so specific to a single emotion, but the more she learned about them the more it made sense.

“…And Vile Phials are Disgust,” Vanitas finished, crossing his arms and reclining in his chair.

“I kind of figured,” Aqua said, pushing aside her now empty plate and brushing breadcrumbs off her lap. Seriously, that horrible Unversed sludge had been the _nastiest_ stuff she had _ever_ put in her mouth. How did Vanitas manage to choke those down without puking? Was he really that used to the taste? A dark thought told her that under Xehanort’s tutelage, he’d probably had plenty of opportunities to acquire one. Aqua couldn’t imagine the old Master offering him a Hi-Potion.

She must’ve have made a face because Vanitas gave her a look. “Vile Phials aren’t all bad. They’ve saved my ass on more than one occasion. And the other Unversed… have their uses,” he admitted reluctantly. “They make for good training dummies, at least.”

Aqua sucked in a sharp breath through her teeth. That’s right, Vanitas had spread the Unversed to train Ven in order to strengthen him enough to forge the X-Blade. But if that was true of Ventus, then did that mean… “Vanitas… did Xehanort ever… Did he force you to—”

“Kill my own Unversed?”

Aqua nodded solemnly.

He regarded her for several moments. “He… _encouraged_ it.”

_“Only_ encouraged?”

Vanitas shrugged dismissively, his next words dripping with sarcasm. “When Xehanort was feeling _generous_ he’d take time out of his ‘busy schedule’ to train me himself. That’s how I got most of these _lovely_ scars.” A strange, high-pitched sound escaped him. It took Aqua a second to recognize it as a _laugh._ “But he knew killing the Unversed made me stronger; I knew it too. Long as I’m around, they’re an infinite resource— the ultimate replaceable punching bag. No need to waste his precious time on the likes of _me.”_

Aqua paled and raised a hand to her mouth. So Vanitas’s fits of violent anger towards his own emotions weren’t just random; he’d been _forced_ to kill parts of himself as some sort of _routine._ “That’s… Oh Light, that’s horrible,” she breathed.

Vanitas gave a stiff nod. “Look, Aqua,” he started, leaning forwards to rest his arms on the table and catching her blue gaze with a desperate one of this own. “I get it’s easier to blame the old man for everything, but _I’m_ the one who came up with the idea in the first place. I wasn’t as strong as I needed to be, and the Unversed made the perfect opponents.” He dug his fingernails into the back of his forearm where the scar tissue was thickest, his lips curving up in a weak imitation of a smile. “It’s like what you and Terra said, remember? All these dents and nicks I got? Each one of them is proof I was learning. He might be an idiot but… it was good advice.”

Aqua stared at him in shock. _Dents and nicks…?_ Light, that conversation had been _years_ ago… and Terra had been talking about Ven’s wooden sword, not _himself._ Ventus had only just begun his training with her and Terra. He had fallen down from a particularly hard blow and had continued to look miserable even after the spar was over, so she and Terra had tried to cheer him up with a pep talk. Out of every lesson they had ever told Ven, it was _that_ Vanitas had taken to heart?!

She shook her head, gently prying Vanitas’s fingers from his arm. “We didn’t mean it like that. We meant to always get back up on your feet, no matter how many times you fail. Not— not _hurting_ yourself.”

“I made myself stronger,” he insisted.

Was that really strength? _Hurting_ so much, all the time?

“Training alone wasn’t good enough,” Vanitas continued. “I needed to be filled with Darkness, and Ventus needed to be filled with Light. That’s why Xehanort sent him off to be coddled by Eraqus. ‘Light requires positivity to flourish’,” he said as if quoting someone. “And Darkness… Darkness is made of loneliness, hatred, and…”

“Pain,” she whispered.

“Yeah.” He lowered his eyes. “I could sense it, you know. Ventus had everything— food, friends, a warm place to sleep at night… Meanwhile I had to suffer all alone in that fucking wasteland. While Ventus was cared for, I was… I was being…”

“Tortured?” Aqua supplied quietly; Vanitas flinched. She cursed her own tactlessness.

“I was being _trained,”_ he hissed, pulling free of her grip. Before she could react, Vanitas’s eyes widened a little, as if startled by his own anger. He placed his hand over his face and took a steadying breath. “We were supposed to be having fun today, but I’ve fucked it all up.” He mumbled into his palm.

“The day’s not over yet.”

“Yeah, twelve more hours left for me to screw up again.”

“Vanitas…”

He avoided her gaze and instead stood from his seat, setting to work gathering up all the dishes off the floor. Vanitas picked up a cracked plate —his second one today— and sighed again. “Fucking worthless. Can’t do anything right,” he muttered under his breath.

“It’s just a plate,” Aqua implored. “It doesn’t matter. We have tons more.” 

He was silent for a long moment, picking up the rest of the silverware. When he next spoke, his voice was low. “I’ve already failed Master Xehanort. Four years worth of _training_ and I still couldn’t forge the X-Blade. And today I almost failed—” Vanitas closed his eyes and let out a long sigh. “I don’t want you to pity me, Aqua. I just need you to be my friend. _Please.”_

Vanitas sounded so tired and defeated. Aqua knew he viewed himself as broken; now her own heart felt close to breaking, too. Xehanort had convinced Vanitas there was nothing to life but pain and suffering, scarred his body and mind… And all for what? Power? The X-Blade? Was that worth harming a _child?_ Vanitas had been denied such simple things… No wonder he hated Terra and Ventus. No wonder he had once hated _her._

“I _am_ your friend, Vanitas. It’s just— I can’t stand it; what Xehanort did to you is unforgivable.”

Vanitas placed the final piece of dinnerware on the table before shoving his hands in his pockets and moving closer to the fireplace. “…My Master needed a weapon,” he shrugged glumly, staring at the dwindling flames.

Was he talking about the X-Blade, or _himself?_

“That’s not an excuse for him to _abuse_ you.”

Vanitas stiffened, his eyes narrowing as his teeth audibly clicked together. “I could take it.”

“Just because you _could_ doesn’t mean you should have to!” Aqua insisted. “…Why do you keep defending him? I don’t understand this,” she muttered to herself before glancing back at him. “Vanitas, he _used_ you—”

_“Aqua,”_ he interrupted curtly, grabbing a log from the woodpile near the fireplace and tossing into the hearth with a loud _thump._ “Just drop it, okay?”

She’d pushed him too far.

An uncomfortable silence followed as Vanitas sat in front of the fireplace with a troubled expression, the reflection of the Dark Fire dancing in his golden eyes. Wood sizzled and popped from the heat as he curled his knees up to his chest. He looked so lost.

Aqua bit her lip in frustration— frustration at herself, frustration at Vanitas… but most of all frustration at what Master Xehanort had done to him. That monster had forced Vanitas to hurt himself and called it ‘training’. Perhaps Vanitas had convinced himself it had been his idea just so he’d feel as if he had a modicum of choice in his life. With his deep, gravelly voice and muscular build, it was easy to forget sometimes that Vanitas was just a teenager, and younger than her to boot. 

Light, she was just a teenager too, but sometimes Aqua felt older with the weight of all the responsibilities that had been thrust upon her over the years, from caring for Ventus to protecting the Worlds. If Vanitas was the same age as Ven, then he would’ve been just a boy when he was first under Xehanort’s control. Had the abuse started immediately? Or had it taken time for Xehanort to decide to mold his apprentice into the perfect weapon? Had Vanitas had a chance at a normal childhood at all? Something in Aqua’s heart told her it was the former.

Tears of shame pricked her eyes. Aqua had promised Vanitas just yesterday she wouldn’t push him anymore, yet here she was once again prying into his personal history. She couldn’t save the Worlds, she couldn’t save her friends, she couldn’t save the heart of just one boy. By attempting to help, she’d only made things worse. _Again._

_What is_ wrong _with me?_

Aqua opened her mouth to apologize, but Vanitas beat her to the punch.

“…I’m sorry, Aqua,” Vanitas whispered miserably. “This is… It’s hard for me to explain.”

“Please don’t apologize,” she insisted, shaking her head and placing a hand over her heart. “It’s _my_ fault. I shouldn’t have pushed you. You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to.”

Vanitas seemed to mull it over. “…I _know_ I was being used,” he finally said. “I wanted to kill Xehanort for what he did to me. I still do. But… he _made_ me; he raised me. I didn’t ask for this, to be split apart. But now that I’m here, I—” He shook his head. “I’m not sure if he saw me more as a person or a doll; honestly, I don’t know which is worse.”

_A doll…?_

Her stomach churned as she realized what he meant. If Xehanort had believed Vanitas was human, and still treated him like that… Perhaps it would’ve been better if the old Master thought of him as nothing more than a mere object, no matter how dehumanizing it was. The alternative would be crueler than anything.

“It wasn’t all bad, though. Xehanort’s smart,” Vanitas continued, a hint of reverence in his tone. “He taught me things, about nature and magic and how to play chess; sometimes he’d even reward me if I did well enough with my training. My master showed me a lot of Worlds— forests and jungles and all kinds of places where I could hunt and play…” Vanitas glanced at her; the nostalgic fondness in his eyes made her sick. “Xehanort made me strong. He gave me a purpose; a reason for living. Without him, I wouldn’t even exist. Don’t I owe him for that?”

_Did_ he? How much did Aqua owe her own father, a man she’d never even met? Who had left her mother to fend for herself? Who couldn’t have been bothered to stick around for his only daughter’s sake? No, creation alone wasn’t enough; not without love and care. And Master Xehanort knew _nothing_ of love.

“No,” she answered firmly. “You don’t owe him a thing; not after what he did to you.” Aqua sat next to Vanitas and wrapped an arm around him. She wanted to hold him— hold him and erase everything that man had ever done to him. “We don’t get to choose who we come from. No one does. But you don’t need a _reason_ to be alive, Vanitas.”

“Don’t you?” he asked, wide-eyed. “Doesn’t everyone? Your purpose is to protect the Worlds, isn’t it? Them and… your friends.” It almost sounded as if he was excluding himself.

“…I don’t know,” Aqua admitted slowly. “Maybe just being alive and happy is enough.”

“Happy…” Vanitas repeated as he leaned against her shoulder. “It’s funny… When I merged with Ventus we were fighting for control inside our heart, and I thought ‘it’s either gonna be you, or it’s gonna be me’. I didn’t really care about the balance of Light and Darkness anymore, who was stronger than who… I just didn’t wanna be the one to disappear.” His voice lowered to almost a whisper. “Ventus though, he said something to me… ‘my friends are my power’. I didn’t understand what he meant at the time. I’d always thought no matter how much I wanted friends… they would make me weak.” He shook his head, strands of soft hair tickling her chin. “I was wrong. We’re stronger together, Aqua. Arguing gets us nowhere.”

“I know,” she said solemnly. “I’m sorry I’ve been so overbearing.”

Vanitas sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “I think I get it. You say those things because you care, right?”

“Yes. I guess… sometimes I just don’t know how to say it.”

He regarded her with a sad smile. “Some pair we are, huh?” 

Aqua returned his smile. “Well, you’re stuck with me now,” she said a little jokingly, running her fingers through his hair. “And hey, if my purpose is to protect my friends, then that includes you, too.”

Vanitas’s golden eyes softened. “Yeah. I’ll be fine… as long as you’re here.” His smile became more genuine. “Enough about me. You feeling any better?”

“Mhm.” She rubbed her forehead. “I had a bit of a headache, but that’s gone now.”

“That’s good…” He tilted his head. “Any idea why you fainted? Was it like the last time?”

Her eyebrows creased. “I can’t really remember, but I think so. I’ve been under a lot of stress, lately.”

“Stress?”

“Well… within three days I’ve been stabbed, burned, suffocated, and nearly froze to death from my own Blizzard spells,” Aqua said matter-of-factly, listing off each one on her fingers.

“Sounds like a normal day to me,” Vanitas deadpanned with a shrug. Then, at catching her mortified expression, he quickly said, “I’m kidding! Mostly… You fried my Unversed pretty good, too. I didn’t even know you could cast Grand Magic.”

“Neither did I.” Magic as powerful as Thundaja could come at a cost if the caster wasn’t experienced enough. Perhaps that was what had caused her blackout? But it couldn’t have been why she’d fainted the first time… Plus there was that horrible yet mysterious sensation of drained positivity. She had felt so _empty_ inside. Maybe this wasn’t a random occurrence, but rather… “Do you think the Dark World is causing it? Like you said, there’s a lot about this place that we don’t know. People aren’t meant to survive down here, especially not for so long…”

Vanitas blinked and shifted a little. “What do you mean? You’ve been down here as long as I have.”

“But the Darkness wouldn’t effect you the same way, would it?”

“…I suppose not. But why’s it only happening now?”

“I don’t know.” Vanitas was right; she had been down here for so long, yet nothing like this had ever happened before. Why _was_ it only happening now?

“I bet you were right the first time. You’re just tired.”

“Mhm.” Maybe he was right. She was physically and emotionally exhausted and sleeping in damp clothes yesterday couldn’t have helped, either. Perhaps she was catching a cold. “Still, I want to reach the Realm of Light as soon as possible.”

Vanitas looked uncomfortable.

Aqua hugged him closer. “Don’t worry, we’ll defeat Xehanort. I know you’re scared; you have every right to be. But the three of us will fight him together; you, me, and Ven, once we find his heart. Maybe Master Yen Sid will know how to get Xehanort out of Terra.”

Vanitas squirmed out of her embrace, looking appalled. “Wait, _find his heart?_ You don’t know where Ventus’s heart is?!”

Aqua startled, taken aback. “Oh Vanitas, I thought you knew! When Mickey took Ven and I to the Mysterious Tower, Master Yen Sid said Ventus’s heart wasn’t in his body, but rather lost somewhere between Light and Darkness. He can’t wake up without it.”

_“L-lost?!”_ Vanitas choked. Aqua watched him struggle with himself for several moments in stunned shock. “But I thought… I thought you knew where he was.”

“I know where his _body_ is, but his heart— You kind of… broke it.”

Vanitas blinked slowly and stared at his knees. “So what you’re saying is… you don’t even know how to get him back.”

“No. I’m sorry. But we’ll find him. What Ven needs is someone to believe in him— a connection.”

Vanitas stood abruptly.

“Wha— Are you alright?”

“Don’t worry about me,” he said flatly. “I just need some air.” Vanitas turned and headed towards the foyer door.

“O-okay…” Aqua watched after him, noticing the way his shoulders shook as he exited the dining hall. Was he really that worried about Ven? Maybe Vanitas hated his other half less than she’d thought. Aqua sighed to herself. Mentioning her plan to fight Xehanort hadn’t been the smartest move, especially not after what Vanitas had just divulged. It was clear even in his absence Xehanort still had a thick chain wrapped around Vanitas’s mind. Still, Aqua would do everything in her power to help him break it.

_He’s stronger than he thinks._

One couldn’t wield a Keyblade without a strong heart after all, and Vanitas had the strongest heart she knew. He’d proven himself to be her equal, and worthy of Keyblade Mastery whether he desired it or not. Together, they would find Ventus and the three of them would defeat Xehanort and save Terra. It would take time to mend the rift between the boys of course, but she had to believe. As Terra had said, there was power in dreams. Becoming a Keyblade Master had once been her greatest desire, but now Aqua found that her dream had changed— her, Vanitas, Terra, and Ven, together— as a family.

_I refuse to choose. I’ll make this work._

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Vanitas swiftly walked down the hallway to the Castle entrance and entered the courtyard. He needed to get far away from Aqua so she couldn’t hear this— what he couldn’t hold back anymore— this _emotion_ welling up inside him, something he’d never felt before. 

_Jubilation._

His shoulders trembled as a low chuckle escaped him, slowly crescendoing into a high-pitched, hysterical cackle.

Ventus… was gone. He was _gone._

That stupid, worthless, pathetic, _loser_ was gone. _Forever._

Vanitas suddenly became very quiet.

He clutched at his chest, digging his fingers into the red fabric of his shirt. Did this… _really_ change anything? After walking so long through the craggy wastes and deep, silent forests of the Dark World, Vanitas had grown used to the hollow ache that had replaced Ventus’s positive emotions. With his other half’s heart lost and no chance of ever getting him back, Vanitas would never be whole. Could he _really_ just go on being half a heart —an abomination— forever? After all, without Ventus he… 

He… 

…No, he didn’t _need_ Ventus. He had Aqua’s Light, now. Since meeting her, it had actually been a _relief_ to not feel Ventus anymore. And now Vanitas had his own positive emotions to help fill in the void. It wasn’t exactly the same as having a whole heart, not really, but it was the best he would get. And maybe… maybe that was okay. His hand relaxed and fell to his side.

When the X-Blade had broken, when all he’d worked for —his one and only hope— had shattered before his eyes… when he had first been banished to this Light-forsaken hell, Vanitas had lost all sense of purpose. But now… now Aqua had given him a new reason for living. _She_ was his salvation.

There was only one thing left to do, then; keep Aqua safe. And that meant never reaching the Realm of Light or going after Terra— after Xehanort. Vanitas knew he had promised to help her save Terra, but if he was too weak to win against her in a mere spar, then he would never be able to defeat his Master, much less without Ventus’s help if the idiot truly was gone forever. 

What the hell had he even been thinking? It was impossible to win against Master Xehanort. He shouldn’t even fantasize about it. It was that sort of foolish notion that had almost gotten him killed once before, and he’d already paid the price for _that_ lesson.

_I don’t have to be strong enough to defeat Xehanort,_ he assured himself. _We’re never going back._

All he had to do was keep Aqua safe from the Heartless. That was easy enough; there were only so many of them left in the Castle. Still, there was one nagging doubt in the back of his mind. If the Realm of Darkness was causing her blackouts, then this place was less of a sanctuary than he’d thought. She was fine _now,_ but what if this kept happening? How much worse would the next one be? Would they be forced to leave this relative safe haven? It seemed like there was no way out of the Castle of Dreams, but… Aqua was smart. Too smart. If anyone was able to discover a way to escape the Dark World, it would be her. The thought of it terrified him.

Vanitas couldn’t allow that to happen. He would protect Aqua no matter the cost— even if it meant protecting her from herself. Eraqus was gone. Terra was gone. Ventus was gone. He was the only one she had left, and she was all he’d ever had. Aqua was his and his alone.

His bared teeth glinted in the gloom, whether from a grin or a snarl he couldn’t say. Vanitas only knew one truth— _nothing_ would take her away from him.

_Nothing._

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Sorry this chapter took so long >_> I had a really bad case of writer's block, on top of a rather busy schedule. I want to get the next one out sooner than later, and hopefully not taking several months again! Still, I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Thank you so much for sticking with me! :D
> 
> If you'd like to see more Vanitas/Aqua content, please visit voidgear-and-stormfall.tumblr.com!  
> And check out my art blog at vengeverse.tumblr.com for lots of Vanqua stuff!


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